tuscl

PL Here...Got a number from a dancer but now what

Monday, May 31, 2021 12:41 AM
Long time PL here and this isn't new territory or anything but the way getting the number definitely is. Last night I was getting a private dance from my ATF at a newer club I have been frequenting. I have taken her private quite a few times my last couple of visits but last night I could tell something was wrong. So I started to ask her if she was OK and she said she definitely was not after dealing with a very rude customer. She was so shook up she broke down in tears in my arms and I just consoled her and had a real heart to heart talk about life, sex work, and just respect in general. As our time went on she started to feel a lot better and we eventually did go back to our normal dance. At the end she asked me very sweetly if she could kiss me. I obliged (of course) and she then asked me if she could give her number to me and again of course I obliged. So now what? I did text her when I got home per her request. And sent a little follow up saying hope you have a better night tonight then last night. But like I honestly don't know if this is just another way to know when she is at the club or if this is like a green light to perhaps converse more beyond the club. The PL in me says it's just another way to get me back to the club which I am fine with I been through this a couple of times before. I just never had an experience like last night ever in my many years of going to clubs. Thoughts?

81 comments

  • wallanon
    •
    3 years ago
    Hey LVP. Did she write you back? With the hobby it's not the years, it's the miles. Most of the TUSCL diehards have seen both the crocodile tears and the uh oh hide the pills and razors version of that scenario. Around TUSCL ATF gets thrown around, but it means All Time Favorite. If she was already your favorite dancer of all time before you got her number, then scoring it's a bonus. Unless there's something she brings that you can't replace, have as much fun as you can while it lasts and don't overthink it. If using the number helps you get the experience you're looking for, then put those digits to work. Carpe diem.
  • wallanon
    •
    3 years ago
    I guess that should've been LBP...
  • Jammaster
    •
    3 years ago
    Text her just to tell her you’re there for her. Seinfeld style.
  • mike710
    •
    3 years ago
    If she wanted you to have her number then you have nothing to lose by using it fairly soon. That being said, I've had dancers want to give me their numbers and nothing came from it. But, nothing ventured, nothing gained. You have nothing to lose by using it at this point. The other thing that comes to mind is that sometimes the chase is better than catching. Don't know the specific dynamics you have with her but that is something to consider. Do you really want more that what you have in the club.
  • IfIGottaBeDamned
    •
    3 years ago
    She probably just wants to build her roster of good customers. And after a shitty customer, you made the cut. Without a clear hint of OTC interest during the number exchange, I wouldn’t assume there is any interest beyond maintaining contact with a good customer. When ever I’ve exchanged numbers with a dancer, it’s always been crystal clear if OTC is on the table.
  • LoverBoyPizza
    •
    3 years ago
    So she did respond both times to the text I sent. But I told her from jump I won't text her like that and be annoying. Although I already broke that rule with the 2nd text in 24hrs lol. You are probably right as I have been a good customer. But I am like that with any dancers. I just like to enjoy myself when I go to clubs. I also haven't pushed anything or asked her about OTC either. But if it's just a great club girl experience that's fine with me also. I been with escorts, I know the drill.
  • theeastcoast757
    •
    3 years ago
    If she didn’t reply to your follow up text I feel like that’s pretty much sums it up but if she did then that’s a good sign.
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    3 years ago
    The way I read this is that you have a good chance of experiencing a case of WKS (white knight syndrome). With strippers there is often sorta the “you break it you pay it” – i.e. if you get involved in a stripper’s life, particularly in her problems, you’ll get friend-zoned and can become “Mr Emergency” whenever she has a problem, and many of these girls often have problems whether it’d be life problems or financial problems – and since you’ve kinda volunteered to be "her shoulder to cry on” decent chance she’ll take advantage of that whether consciously or subconsciously – and it can get worse if “you’re always there for her”; i.e. if you are always there for her sometimes these girls take advantage and make up problems/emergencies to sip $$$ from a “Mr Helper”. The fact you don’t know what her intentions mean or what to do next is in my-professional-PL-opinion, concerning as your lack of vision w.r.t. this is how you can get fucked in-the-not-good-way. Not trying to say it will play out as I describe it; but being “Mr Nice Guy” with strippers rarely ends well or with something to show for it (although I imagine there will now be PLs coming-out-of-the-woodwork saying how they’ve gotten personal w/ dancers “and it was awesome”). My 2-PL-cents.
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    3 years ago
    ^ "... With strippers there is often sorta the “you break it you pay it” ..." Meant to say "you break it you own it"
  • K
    •
    3 years ago
    ask her, not us.
  • Studme53
    •
    3 years ago
    Be careful - remember it’s a business/financial transaction for the dancers. It’s their job. Plus, I don’t club to experience a whole cry-on-my-shoulder routine. I’ve already have loved ones in my life who need my support, and I’m happy to give it. They are not people I have to pay for their company.
  • Call.Me.Ishmael
    •
    3 years ago
    From this forum, you're going to get varying degrees of cynicism. And, granted, a lot of it has been earned. It's possible that she was giving you crocodile tears as part of a long con. But, it's also possible that she was legitimately upset. Dancers are humans with feelings, after all. You're going to have to figure that out (if you even want to...) on your own. You're next move is to figure out what you want. Do you want OTC sex and not much else? Do you want to get involved in her drama? Something else? That's also up to you. But, once you figure it out, you need to let her know pretty quickly. Or, you only use that number to find out when she's working and keep all your interactions contained in the club. Perhaps all she needed from you that night was to not be like that other dickhead. And that's fine.
  • georgmicrodong
    •
    3 years ago
    As probably the most patheticest pathetic loser on this site, you have nothing to lose by playing along and being casual about it. It *might* be a con, but it might have been sincere. You'll know it's a con if you start to get "I'm working tonight, come see me" texts, especially on nights when you don't normally go, or requests for money. As for you, I'd suggest texting sparingly, every few days at most, and then only "hope you're doing well" type things. The only exception being if you're going to be headed to the club. Then "I'll be going in to the club tonight, hope to see you there" is about it. And if you don't get an answer, let it go. If she gave it to you because she's willing to play OTC, she'll let you know in time. Generally speaking, it's not something you want to push very hard on unless you're on a short timeframe, like an out of town trip.
  • Icee Loco (asshole)
    •
    3 years ago
    Ask yourself if she's the kind of girl who shows interest in you. If she isn't its just a hustle. She wants you to feel special and like you know her know more about her than anyone in the club. Its a fake connection she wants to use to make you put your guard down and get played
  • MightyMoe
    •
    3 years ago
    I've gotten numbers from dancers on numerous occasions but it's usually for business purposes where they will text you when they plan to be at a club so you can plan around it. It's still nice because if you like each other you know you won't be wasting your time showing up when she isn't there. If you want to see that girl you can just be like "hey, will u be there tonight?" and she'll be like "yep, see you there!"
  • Lone_Wolf
    •
    3 years ago
    What everyone else said and adding... Can you pull smoking hot women in the civie world? If yes, why not go with a civie and forgoe the drama from a dancer. If no, it was most likely a hustle. She could have been genuinely upset and still doing a hustle. Regardless, it's an opportunity for fun.
  • LoverBoyPizza
    •
    3 years ago
    Can you pull smoking hot women in the civie world? -Not a chance I pretty much know it's all part of the fantasy she is selling. I guess the way the night went threw me off a bit. Been going to clubs since I was 20 and never had a girl breakdown like she did with me. So kind of shook me and the way the rest of the night went kind of gave the PL in me a thought like hmmm maybe she really does feel something. I agree though it is basically an opportunity for some times with her.
  • 3131
    •
    3 years ago
    Over under on when you get a text asking for money? I'm guessing she'll need help with her phone, or car, or rent within the next week.
  • Icee Loco (asshole)
    •
    3 years ago
    At worst shell ignore you or you'll get a text asking you to come to the club on a slow night. Don't take it too seriously. If she sized you up and wants to play you just watch for inconsistencies between her words and actions.
  • Bavarian
    •
    3 years ago
    I’ve experienced both sides of this hustle. It’s really about what kind of person she is. Not all strippers are sharks out to bleed you dry. I’ve been fleeced before by getting involved with one outside the club. Suddenly, you’re the “only person” who can help them out with their financial emergencies. Other times, you come across a stripper who is more genuine. She gets paid for her services and that’s it. They are not hitting you up for help paying rent or for groceries, phone bill, etc.
  • grand1511
    •
    3 years ago
    No one's willing to say it. It's the most obvious signal that she wants dick pix texted to her...no less than every 45 minutes.
  • herbtcat
    •
    3 years ago
    My advice: Don't overthink this - context is important. She gave you (I assume she volunteered it and you didn't ask for) her number when you showed her some compassion - and you did that on your paid time. So stay in that lane, as you have been. If she wants to steer this into another direction, she will. Look for the hints of one or more: - Lets you know she's working today, asks you to come in - Reaches out for more compassion and a friendly ear. - Starts to suggest her growing affection or sexual attraction with you - Straight up offers OTC - Starts to suggest she has money problems Any and all of these can happen. It's up to you to decide which, if any you want to encourage when she starts down that road. But if YOU START to go down one path (say affection - OTC - dating?), and she's not feeling it...you will have a mess. So let her lead, but remember you are in control of your emotions, time and most importantly, wallet.
  • Cashman1234
    •
    3 years ago
    Was her number 867-5309? If she told you her name is Jenny - then I’d believe her. That reference may be a bit too old for some.
  • IfIGottaBeDamned
    •
    3 years ago
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    3 years ago
    I assume her tears were genuine – my point in the previous-post was mainly that there are some well-intentioned custies that inadvertently become Capt-Save-A-Hos and some of these girls that have topsy-turvy-lives become dependent on their Capt-Save-A-Ho to bail them out of most of their problem$ – and a few then take advantage of a Capt-Save-A-Ho’s good-intentions and start sipping $$$ from the PL even when there aren’t emergencies. As @Bavarian posted, there are girls that take advantage, and girls that don’t – the reality is that Capt-Save-A-Hos getting fleeced *is* part of the game and PLs need to be aware of this if getting involved in a more personal way w/ a dancer – not saying she’ll con him, but one def needs to be aware it happens and he wouldn’t be the first PL to get u$ed and def wouldn’t be the last – so my comment was more of a heads-up than a prediction.
  • CJKent_band
    •
    3 years ago
    @LoverBoyPizza “Nothing ventured, nothing gained” A sexual/romantic/business pursuit often require to “risk” one of two situations: 1. pursuing when interest is not reciprocated (resulting in rejection) 2. failing to pursue when interest is/may be reciprocated (resulting in a missed opportunity). It is up to you to first decide what you want to do with your ATF as a ultimate goal. Be clear on your own head about what you are looking for in the relationship (a sugar baby relationship, casual “escorting type of sex?” Boyfriend/Girlfriend sex? one night stand? Friend with benefits? so you can make informed choices and can be honest with her about your expectations. In my case, I am on a quest for my Holy Grail; OTC with a DS with GFE and PSE, with NSA that we both walk away happy, believing it was a good deal, Fair Trade and a Win Win experience. Just know that sometimes we (men) get played nor because we are ignorant or inexperienced. Even experiences TUSCL members get played many times… and not because the strippers are super smart, smooth or Machiavellian... but because their behavior and SS has enough tangible possibility for it to be believable, to make us believe we have a chance at something we don’t even know... “Belief is often the death of reason.” Just listen to your gut and follow your instincts and you will be safe. The reality is that women have a natural and healthy desire to be appreciated, loved, cared for and to be sexual. Just remember nothing in this capitalist society is ever free you will pay one way or another. Just make sure you get what you pay for and are happy about the transaction. When you interact with your ATF, BE THE MAN in the relationship create and environment where she fell safe, comfortable, relaxed, and even aroused enough so she can let herself go enough to enjoy your company Be confident, the provider, protector, and at the same time funny and relaxed 😎 cool. Make her feel that “it is a pleasure doing business with you” and see if she would be interested in your “business” proposal, for example you can ask if she knows anything about Seeking Arrangements and see her response. In my limited experience, if you look clean cut, have some cash and are a nice gentleman and make her feel that she will be safe with you, you could have OTC at some price point. Just relax, don’t worry be happy, but above all be careful out there. We will be waiting for a full detailed report of your experience so we can learn from your mistakes...
  • Icee Loco (asshole)
    •
    3 years ago
    So any update from op?
  • Lanechange
    •
    3 years ago
    Just think with the head on your shoulders before the other one takes over to fill the void. Did she count the time she was crying on your shoulder in her song count? I mean... strippers are people too. But money has a way of rewiring them
  • rickdugan
    •
    3 years ago
    ===> "With the hobby it's not the years, it's the miles. Most of the TUSCL diehards have seen both the crocodile tears and the uh oh hide the pills and razors version of that scenario." This was a fantastic and on point comment. I'll just add that it's equally possible for it to be a blending of the two - she's legitimately upset but decides to wallow in it at that moment because she guessed that you'd respond well to it. Women are emotionally complex creatures quite capable of using genuine despair as a manipulation tool. LBP, you've already acknowledged that she's way out of your league, so you know that she's doing this for commercial reasons. Don't let your buy-in to the fantasy lead you to believe otherwise. While IMHO GMD rightly pointed out there is little harm in playing along if you control yourself, Papi did a great job in outlining the risks, which you should read again more slowly. Just keep in mind that this has an end date which will never include you getting the girl - ever. In fact she's probably being railed right now by a guy much younger and better looking than you. Over the years I've seen countless club customers burn shitloads of time and money chasing after young strippers' affections, both ITC and OTC, and it has never ended well. Not once. This, along with my natural aversion to yet more female drama given how much I already deal with IRL, is why her little performance would be flashing "Run, don't walk, to the nearest exit!" for me. But to each his own.
  • shadowcat
    •
    3 years ago
    Be sure you know how to block calls on your cell phone. :)
  • Subraman
    •
    3 years ago
    To me this is your OTC opening. I've had my best OTCs with strippers who didn't hate me, and this stripper doesn't hate you. I wouldn't spin my wheels on whether you're her romantic interest -- you're not -- but that doesn't mean you can't be her favorite customer, with the many YMMV privileges that entails. Sounds like she's your ATF, so this will all work out great. The only way it won't work out great is if you read too much into it and develop unrequited and inappropriate romantic feelings towards her.
  • joewebber
    •
    3 years ago
    texts from a lot of dancers these days are: 1) mass texts asking you to come in. they will usually be: hi babe! i'm working tonight. come see me! 2) mass texts asking for money: Hi babe! i know this is awkward, but could you do me a favor? 3) personal text: Hi (your name). what are you doing tonight? the mass texts do an amazing job of roping in custies that don't even give the pet name the dancer texts to them a second thought. once they reply to the dancer, she knows she might have you on the line for her needs. and for God's sake, if a dancer ever asks for a "loan", you should know that you will never see the money or 'services' back in repayment. despite her good intentions and even appearance of responsibility, whatever money you give her should be written off as a gift. most dancers are horrible with finances and have bad credit, hence the need for quick money at a moment's notice. don't be surprised if one of these girls needs help a) moving to a new place b) getting out of an abusive relationship (most are horrible judges of character as well) c) needing a rent payment d) needing a car payment.
  • Bavarian
    •
    3 years ago
    E) Needing her cell phone paid because it’s about to be disconnected F) Needing her utilities paid because they are about to be disconnected
  • LoverBoyPizza
    •
    3 years ago
    Well just for anyone who is looking for an update....there is none. Last thing I mentioned stands. I texted her once when I got home that night. She replied. I then sent her a text the next day to say hope you have a better night tonight. She replied again thanking me. Other then that it's been crickets. I haven't texted her and she has not reached out to me. So for the time being I am just going to leave it like that and maybe send another text in a week or two. I probably will wind up back at the club in a few weeks anyways. But for the moment nothing else to report.
  • Subraman
    •
    3 years ago
    Are you considering the OTC option? It can be much more amazing with a stripper who likes you
  • bang69
    •
    3 years ago
    Did you text her more? if so did she answer? If she didn't answer. don't wait your time
  • georgmicrodong
    •
    3 years ago
    @rickdugan: "Over the years I've seen countless club customers burn shitloads of time and money chasing after young strippers' affections, both ITC and OTC, and it has never ended well." Well, I won't say I've spent *shit*loads of time and money, but I have spent a fair bit of both, and it's ended well several times. My ATF and the MILF are the ones I've spoken of here, but there are others, both before and after I moved to Louisville, who, if not as spectacularly, have still been worth the effort. Whether spending 6 months (or two years, in the most recent case) "chasing" a girl is worth it to anyone but me is not for me to say.
  • Subraman
    •
    3 years ago
    bang: don't waste his time with what? What do you think the end game is here, and why is it important for him to text her again right away? If OTC is the end game and he's not in a rush, I don't see any reason he has to send random texts; in fact better off not to text frivolously until/unless she's okay with that. Frankly, if I weren't in a rush to OTC, I'd be fine just seeing her againin a couple weeks at the club (text her in advance adn set up an appointment), and proposing OTC there
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    3 years ago
    At the end of the day as long as a PL knows the pros and cons of getting more personally involved w/ a dancer then a PL should proceed as he sees fit - problems can arise when a PL's experience is only in the civilian realm vs dealing w/ pro$
  • Tetradon
    •
    3 years ago
    She's playing hard to get. Text her a dozen times in the next hour, and she'll suck you off in the bathroom for free next time you visit.
  • kingcripple
    •
    3 years ago
    It can go either way. I've had strippers give me their numbers and we had genuine conversations via text. Others it's just to see if they are going to be working.
  • Icee Loco (asshole)
    •
    3 years ago
    If you like her get in touch
  • LoverBoyPizza
    •
    3 years ago
    Update for anyone following this thread Went back last night and saw her. Hadn't really been texting since the last text I had sent went unanswered. And I hadn't been able to make it to the club pretty much after we exchanged numbers. I finally worked up the balls to ask if she would like to do OTC with me. Propositioned it more as taking her to dinner and whatever, no pressure type thing. She seemed game for it and said yeah that I should text her and see if we could set something up. I sent a text today about it but will see if she responds back. She did say she never did OTC before and for as naive as I am going to sound I believe her. I had debated even asking. I feel like in the club there is a different allure with her a fantasy. And OTC might break that up now. I am hoping not but oh well live and learn.
  • Call.Me.Ishmael
    •
    3 years ago
    It's okay to believe her so long as you're equally prepared for the possibility that she has actually done a lot of OTC. But who knows? It's also okay to take her out to dinner, if that's something you really want out of the experience. But, if you're looking for sex, then eventually you need to say that out loud. I mean, be respectful about it, but chances are that things will go off course if you expect the dancer to take the lead. Good luck.
  • wallanon
    •
    3 years ago
    Be sure to post something when she actually writes you back, but at least you have proof of life.
  • Icee Loco (asshole)
    •
    3 years ago
    She's just trying to keep you as a cuatomer.
  • Lone_Wolf
    •
    3 years ago
    You sound ambiguous even when you post about it. Here - "Will you meet me at Olive Garden at noon? Gift $150." Every communication you have with here should include something for her. A monetary offer. A link to a sexy dress etc... When she gets a text from you she should expect fun.
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    3 years ago
    Don't be surprised if she says "sure" to OTC and she blows you off again (in the not good way) - actually be surprised if she follows thru
  • JamesSD
    •
    3 years ago
    Part of me supports treating sex workers like civvys. But part of being a man means making your intentions clear. If Mr. Pizza wants to pay a stripper for sex, framing the discussion as "would you be interested in doing private dances outside the club" is less ambiguous. I'm unclear on the details. If he's 40 and she's 32 the situation is different than if he's 62 and she's 22. I've had a few strippers in their 30e
  • JamesSD
    •
    3 years ago
    I've had strippers in their 30s fish to see if I was single and interested. Anyways take the lead and let her know what you want.
  • ilbbaicnl
    •
    3 years ago
    That story makes it sound like you've got a shot at being her boyfriend, especially if you're not more than 10 year older than her. Would you be interested in that? I don't see it as a sign she's seeking OTC VIP and/or other new extras. Maybe's she's down for that, but she wouldn't have a cry with you in order to let you know she is. With some favs I've hung with them and/or texted as friends, but sexy time was still a paid service, OTC with some, only ITC with others. Sounds like she may simply be (only) down for something like that. Sounds like you got maybe half the amount of dancing you were supposed to. Did she offer to give you back the money? If not, whatever you end up doing with her, it's probably going to be the classic PL - stripper deal, where you're always asking yourself if it's really worth the aggravation and disappointment. People rarely change their patterns. Unless they're very new to the game, strippers will generally make it very unambiguous what they're really willing to do as a paid service, and how much they want. I don't try to talk them into anything, because I don't enjoy dances from dancers in a bad mood. I don't haggle, I just say, wow, I wish I could afford that much, it occasionally results in a downward adjustment. The usual rule of thumb about texting applies, if you've gotten no response to you're last one or two texts, don't send any more.
  • LoverBoyPizza
    •
    3 years ago
    "She's just trying to keep you as a cuatomer." Well the fact she didn't write back makes me believe she just agreed to me asking about OTC because we were in the room and it was still fantasy land. "You sound ambiguous even when you post about it." Well I never done OTC and have met with escorts plenty. Usually saying straight up I'll pay you for x,y,z is a no-go. So I guess I still have that mindset going on right now when seeking OTC here. I mean she has been tipped well by me in the club so when we did quickly discuss OTC I was like don't worry I'll take care of you, and pay you for your time. I mean IDK how much clearer I need to be. "Sounds like you got maybe half the amount of dancing you were supposed to. Did she offer to give you back the money?" Nah bro that didn't happen. She did say don't worry about the tip but I'm a simp and still tipped her for the time we spent together. "That story makes it sound like you've got a shot at being her boyfriend, especially if you're not more than 10 year older than her." Nah again to this one. I am 15 years older then her. I don't see that even being an option. I mean maybe in a sugar daddy sense but not actually dating like civilian life. I am just going to wait to see if she ever text back to me about her availability. I probably should have brought this up to her while we sitting their, not as time was up and I was about to leave. If she doesn't respond I probably will either try the route Lone_Wolf states and just say hey want to grab a bite tonight, what's your cashapp? Or something along those lines. Or I might just say fuck it and just wait to see her again in the club. The way I feel is I laid it out there that I was looking to hang outside the club, take her to dinner, and whatever. Again the escort client in me didn't want to say fuck, just learned behavior. But I am not going to chase her for long to take my money. Plenty of other chicks out there that will gladly take that spot in line.
  • ilbbaicnl
    •
    3 years ago
    Maybe just me, but over the years, most of the people I've had the most fun palling around with were strippers. Then again, many of the people I've found most disturbing to hang out with were strippers. So you might want to cautiously give it a try, sounds like she might be down for it.
  • Icee Loco (asshole)
    •
    3 years ago
    Just be direct and tell her your intentions and what you want from her. It's the only way to stop the guessing games.
  • ilbbaicnl
    •
    3 years ago
    Female sex partners, paid or unpaid, unless they're self-hating, want it to be respected if they withdraw consent at any time. So, even if she's not suspecting you're a cop looking to bust her, it's touchy to ask for specific sex acts. She might worry you'll go off on her if she gets cold feet.
  • LoverBoyPizza
    •
    3 years ago
    She texted back today and we had a pretty lengthy conversation. Set up a time for next week to meet up. So far, so good.
  • wallanon
    •
    3 years ago
    We'll tune in for next week's episode. Have fun.
  • Jascoi
    •
    3 years ago
    lover boy. good game she’s playing. maybe it’ll be nice… (or maybe just a come on…)
  • LoverBoyPizza
    •
    3 years ago
    "lover boy. good game she’s playing. maybe it’ll be nice… (or maybe just a come on…)" So for me sadly this is what seems to be happening. After our lengthy text conversation things quieted down and I didn't really hear back much or at all really. She had requested I send her an STI test and said she would do the same to be safe. So I did it, got my clean results, and sent them to her. She still hasn't sent me hers. But she did reply back I'm getting excited now when I sent her mine. Then crickets. So I decided to go see her this past weekend at the club. She didn't bring up the OTC stuff I did again and she was like sorry I have a lot going on right now. So I was like yeah no problem and did say well we can do where you take off a Sunday night and you tell me what a normal Sunday brings you. She again was all like yeah definitely! So skip ahead to yesterday and I sent another text saying let me know when you can take off that Sunday and we can plan the night from there. No response yet. So at this point it seems like she is worried that if she says no to the OTC request that I will just stop seeing her at the club. Or she is just really a flake who has other things going on and I am no where on the priority list. The former seems to me what it is though. I am not going to text her about this further as it just is annoying. I rather her have just been up front and said sorry babe I don't do OTC but you can always see me here. Would at least stop making me feel like a super chump pursuing this when she has no intention of doing it. Just don't know why she gave me her number to begin with. She never text me about working, and hey come see me tonight. She just gave it to me that night we had shit happen. So maybe it was a spur of the moment thing. Fantasy land in the room I guess.
  • trpterp
    •
    3 years ago
    This is has been interesting thread. Thanks @LBP for continuing to update it. I'm of the opinion that "Or she is just really a flake who has other things going on and I am no where on the priority list" is probably where she is at. IMHO you need to cut bait at this point. It happens. Don't beat yourself up over it.
  • Hank Moody
    •
    3 years ago
    Agreed. Don’t waste energy trying to figure out why strippers do what they do. They just do. Give them the opportunity to deliver and if they don’t, then move along without giving it another thought. Any time you spend on it could be used better.
  • Icee Loco (asshole)
    •
    3 years ago
    I don't think she's playing games. She doesn't want to lose you as a customer. She wants the money. She just doesn't want to fuck you for money for whatever reason and you should respect that. Don't push her. If you like her see her in the club. If you care about her ask her what's going on. See what she says.
  • wallanon
    •
    3 years ago
    "If you care about her ask her what's going on." It sounds like that happened already. Thanks to the op for sharing his story. Being frustrated is a natural thing if what you're getting isn't what you're looking for. The basic choices are to change the expectations, change the approach, or change the situation by moving on. To me the key is asking yourself if you're enjoying ITC time with her anymore.
  • LoverBoyPizza
    •
    3 years ago
    "If you care about her ask her what's going on. See what she says." Definitely have already discussed stuff in her life ITC. And during our one text conversation when she agreed to do OTC. So she knows I have interest in her as more then just a play toy. Not that it matters. "The basic choices are to change the expectations, change the approach, or change the situation by moving on. To me the key is asking yourself if you're enjoying ITC time with her anymore." I agree with you. I totally enjoy our time together in the club. Boundaries get pushed a little for sure and that's what is exciting. So I am not going to push her any further on an OTC meet. Just doesn't make sense at this point. Basically will respect that she either doesn't do that, or doesn't feel comfortable enough to do it. I know most would say dump her and move on to the next dancer. But I probably will continue to just see her at the club. Maybe not as much as I have the past 2 months but an occasional once a month visit. At least until something else comes along that is my flavor or the week.
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    3 years ago
    OTC is more of an art than a science - many guys on here have been SCing for years and even decades and know how to navigate strip clubs - OTC has a high failure-rate and there are multiple variables at play (it's not just about being able and willing to pay): + some clubs for various reasons just don't have much of an OTC scene; and some clubs have more of it for various reasons + if a club has good ITC $$$; less OTC incentive for the dancers + often times it takes being a regular for a while and the dancer feeling comfortable with the custy, and not wanting to lose that regular's consistent $$$ The way ur going about this sounds ur not yet experienced enough for "advanced SC techniques" - experienced SCers/OTCers often pull OTC more bc of their "SC game/experience" per se vs leaving it up to a dancer's whims (e.g. they know how to leverage their regulars status; etc)
  • Icee Loco (asshole)
    •
    3 years ago
    Seeing her when you have feelings will just hurt you
  • LoverBoyPizza
    •
    3 years ago
    "The way ur going about this sounds ur not yet experienced enough for "advanced SC techniques" - experienced SCers/OTCers often pull OTC more bc of their "SC game/experience" per se vs leaving it up to a dancer's whims (e.g. they know how to leverage their regulars status; etc)" Yeah definitely not even close to being good at pulling OTC beyond just asking. I was leaving it for more up to her to try and create a sense of safety. As for her making good money in the club it's doubtful. The place is not known for getting a crowd. She obviously has other regulars besides me so she probably does fine money wise. Which might be a reason she is saying yes yes, but really means no no for OTC. Plus I was on a Stripper Web to see a dancers point of view on this and found some threads where girls are like 1- Never do OTC, 2- Make him believe you will for as long as you can so he keeps paying, and 3- Eventually he will catch on and know it's not happening and stop being your regular so enjoy the ride. So that's kind of what this feels like. "Seeing her when you have feelings will just hurt you" I don't think it will. I have seen a few escorts where initially I got the whole I like you crap in the way when I was younger. They balked and were like we can't do this anymore then. And I rebounded by understanding this is just a fantasy and that's it. Still very friendly with them but still know the line not to cross. In this case I really didn't to ask her about OTC but let my sexual desires take control.
  • RockAllNight
    •
    3 years ago
    Seeing this thread for the first time. A good read but the fact that it’s been active for almost 90 days makes full-scale OTC very unlikely at this point. I’ve seen it happen after longer than this but only when the pursuit was delayed for some reason.
  • BigMac34
    •
    3 years ago
    I don't like otc from the strip club. It's easier to just walk to a woman at the supermarket or wherever your at, introduce yourself, compliment her and let her know what's up, like ask her on date. Worst they can say is no thanks or I already have a boyfriend. A while back when I use to go to the stripclub a lot. Lots of woman would ask me if I have a girlfriend and they let me know that they want to hang out after they get off there shift. I usually always turn them down and tell them no thanks. The problem here is that your at a strip club. A strip club is for entertainment only, not for a hook up or hit on girls place. That is considered illegal in the land of the free. I learn that lesson the hard way, I got tired of woman asking me at the strip club if I wanted to hang out after there shift. I said yes to one of the woman one time and it taught me a lesson. She approached me she asked for my number and my name, she wanted to go eat dinner at a restaurant. She told me to meet her at a convenient store which was right next to some apartments she was staying at. I went ahead and drove there. Within 5 minutes I see a bunch of police vehicles everywhere, I get that gut feeling of something bad is going to happen. I manage to drive off and then she calls me asking me where I am at and I just let her know I thought you invited me for dinner. Then she gets all mad and tells me to delete her phone from my phone. I then decide to never trust a stripper again because there just for entertainment. The strippers in the land of free are just for entertainment nothing else. If you want fun, go ask a woman the old fashion way or go somewhere that it's legal to date woman from the strip club, like some parts of Mexico or Germany. Say no to the otc, unless you know the person for a long time or she did something to you in the VIP without your consent, otherwise it's not worth it for all the stress it puts on you for trying to have fun in the land of the free.
  • BigMac34
    •
    3 years ago
    I would just move on, if that girl hasn't reply to you. There is a ton of woman out there that can make you a happy man. If your shy and don't like to approach. There is a app, that you put your pictures on there and the woman have to send you a message first to start the conversation, I'm not going to name the app but you should give it a try. All you have to do is post pictures of yourself and build up your profile and just wait. Woman are tons of fun when they pick you. I think I got off topic sorry but I just wanted to put in my feedback. It might help out some guys out there.
  • LoverBoyPizza
    •
    3 years ago
    "I went ahead and drove there. Within 5 minutes I see a bunch of police vehicles everywhere, I get that gut feeling of something bad is going to happen. " Bro I think you were being a bit paranoid. I have no idea the situation that was happening but a sex worker isn't running a sting operation posing as a stripper. I have seen escorts plenty and it's just about finding the legitimate women who do that work. You pay more for piece of mind, but it's worth it. And yeah I obviously am not good with approaching civilian women in real life or else I wouldn't even bother going to strip clubs or seeing escorts. Those apps you speak of are kind of shit honestly unless you are in your early 20s. I am almost 40 and pretty set in my ways at this point. I've tried them and to me they suck. "A good read but the fact that it’s been active for almost 90 days makes full-scale OTC very unlikely at this point." Probably. But I only asked about an OTC meet like 3 weeks ago. But I can see the signs that the Jets have a better chance of winning the Super Bowl in the next 10 years then her agreeing to actually doing it. It's all good I have accepted it and as mentioned still really enjoy what she does for me ITC so it's no real loss.
  • Cashman1234
    •
    3 years ago
    Based on the length of time this discussion has been open, it tells me OTC is not happening. You gave it a try, and she’s not interested. Don’t go over it - and over it again - in your head. It’s not going to work out with this one. If OTC is going to happen, it will. But it won’t work out if you keep showing up at her club. You will either become annoying - or you will become a regular. Both annoying and regulars are generally ITC only. I appreciate you providing us with detailed depictions of each interaction, and your analysis of each conversation, as you look for a bright spot or opening. Sadly, the dancer probably looks at it as somewhat tiresome. She may see you as someone who may hang on - and not take a hint? Those types of guys can be prevalent in strip clubs, as they don’t understand social cues, and it’s a place where they can interact with almost naked women. But, that type of guy should not know where a dancer lives, as they can become a pest. Maybe it’s time to move on? You could try to spend more ITC and see if she gets more interested? Or start spending more on another dancer and see if that helps? But it can backfire easily.
  • LoverBoyPizza
    •
    3 years ago
    "She may see you as someone who may hang on - and not take a hint? Those types of guys can be prevalent in strip clubs, as they don’t understand social cues, and it’s a place where they can interact with almost naked women. But, that type of guy should not know where a dancer lives, as they can become a pest." Well this is why I am not going to send any more text about this shit. It's honestly why I didn't even want her number in the first place because it's very easy to just go hmmm I wonder if I text her if she will hit me back. And that's kind of how this started. She gave me her number, said just text me so I know you got home okay and I did. Then sent a couple of more text over a couple of weeks but wasn't going to the club so she stopped responding. Probably should have been my hint right there but I'm stupid in that regard. I guess she didn't expect me to actually get an STI test and that probably was what she saw as an out. But honestly she should have just said sorry I don't do OTC but you can always see me here. IDC what other guys say to that I would have just been like oh ok no problem and still went to see her like the simp I am. "Maybe it’s time to move on? You could try to spend more ITC and see if she gets more interested? Or start spending more on another dancer and see if that helps? But it can backfire easily." I wouldn't grab some other dancer at the club. Seems tacky and she has dished to much dirt to me on other chicks and they all talk so in that case I rather just frequent another club. Like I said I wont be going back anytime soon. At least not until next month. If she wants to text me a hey come to the club that's on her. But I deleted her number to not be tempted and pretty much am ready to move on from at least the thought of doing OTC with her. Other then that seeing her once in a while at that club is probably what I will wind up doing if I don't just find a new club altogether.
  • wallanon
    •
    3 years ago
    "IDC what other guys say to that I would have just been like oh ok no problem and still went to see her like the simp I am." Don't get down on yourself. Shit happens. My first ATF (way back when) was best friends IRL with the dancer I tried to replace her with at the club. Found out later the first ATF really did dig me, which is why she held back on dances. Her holding back on dances is why I moved on...if the hobby was the same predictable routine over and over I wouldn't do it, which is why I don't have a pattern even in clubs where I'm considered a "regular".
  • Icee Loco (asshole)
    •
    3 years ago
    There's nothing wrong with a guy wanting to be a dancers customer. As long as he fully understands what he's doing
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    3 years ago
    One can’t put all their eggs in one basket/stripper – as has been mentioned OTC has a high-failure-rate; it’s just the nature of the beast – there’s a line b/w being proactive and looking-desperate/clingy; the latter often has bad-consequences if a dancer feels the custy is desperate and/or clingy (if a dancer is a shark she will u$e this against the PL) – IMO one or two texts should be enough – if she is genuinely interested in OTC it shouldn’t take a half-a-dozen texts – after 2 texts one should get the hint she’s either not interested or just too-flaky to deal with. As I posed b/f, often times inexperienced custies think dancers will not say no to $$$ and all it takes for one to make a good offer and most dancers would accept - I think some inexperienced SCers read stories of OTC on-here and think it’s fairly easy to achieve or common-place – there are multiple reasons why dancers avoid OTC: + many dancers want to keep their club life and “real” life completely separate and don’t want club business spilling into their outside-the-club life + many are understandably concerned about safety since they don’t really know who they are dealing w/ in a club and why it often takes being a regular for a while b/f some of them may consider taking the plunge + as mentioned, if they make good ITC $$$, they may not feel a need to “take on extra work” + some of them may have situations in their personal lives which hinder their ability to see custies OTC – e.g. a BF/husband/S.O.; kids to look after in their off-time; etc Generally OTC failure is more common than OTC success; again it’s the nature of the beast – no use getting too-bummed about-it nor focusing too-narrowly on one specific dancer – and def no-use avoiding a club or rearranging their SCing b/c one wants to avoid a particular dancer; that’s not the way to go about it – if one is gonna be a regular SCer one has to have a bit of a spine and not be so worried about what dancers think of us b/c they either don’t think of us or often don’t think very-highly of guys that gotta pay women for attention; just the reality of how many of them likely see it – as a custy you should feel free to club as you please regardless of what dancer is there – just as she is free to not OTC with you or not do anything else w/ you; you are just as free to do *your* thing in the club; and dancers know this although many try to manipulate custies into not being with (read $pending) or other dancers and will pretend to be hurt, etc. – as a custy in a strip-club one should treat dancers fairly but also one has to be assertive and not allow oneself to be controlled/manipulated by dancers – this TUSCL article in some ways breaks it down w.r.t. how one should carry themselves in a club: [view link]
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    3 years ago
    If you want that one-on-one attention, you can also look into sugar-daddying - here too one needs to know what they are doing b/c it can take some work to get with the right sugarbaby - below are two good TUSCL articles about it: [view link] [view link] You can also do a TUSCL search for "OTC" and read some previous threads/articles on the subject and tips from some of the vets.
  • LoverBoyPizza
    •
    2 years ago
    Figured I would give one last update to this thread... So OTC obviously never happened back over the summer when I first approached her. I wound up taking a break from the club up until October. Went back around once a month and got my normal 90 minute room and usually tipped her well. Around like $100-$200 bucks for the time. After talking a bit my last visit to see her it came out that my birthday was coming up. She asked what do I want. Let her know I wanted one night with her. So she said she was totally down for a night together for my birthday weekend and this was going to happen. So it was put up or shut up time as she was the one who really pushed it this time. We finally met up last night and had a great time. Drank champagne, fucked 3x throughout the night. Sex was great. She didn't ask for any money but I threw her a little something. Also found out that she is actually engaged to be married as of the end of this year and also lives with him. She didn't directly tell me either. She kind of mentioned being engaged a few years ago, claimed it went bad. Then since she gave me her real name I was gonna see about friending her on social media and that's where I discovered this. I knew this was all just a big game of fantasy but that pretty much sealed it. That pretty much explains probably why she was hesitant to do this from jump. I do wonder if he actually knows what's going on? I feel like he probably does since she stayed with me last night and all day today. Maybe he doesn't and she is just a really good liar lol...IDK but the chase was worth it as it's some of the best sex I have had in years. Sure it cost me a bit more then I would have liked. But I can say the same for civilian dating and trying to get some as well. The only difference is I probably would have more to show then just a smile and some great memories. Probably going to scale back my visits now to the club. I will still be in touch with her but this new revelation kind of changes things a little. But was a hell of a ride to get there. Definitely learned some shit as a PL.
  • CJKent_band
    •
    a year ago
    @LoverBoyPizza You wrote and I quote: “We finally met up last night and had a great time. Drank champagne, fucked 3x throughout the night. Sex was great.” Pics and Vids or it Didn’t Happen. :D Good Times, Good Times. "Success is almost totally dependent upon drive and persistence. The extra energy required to make another effort or try another approach is the secret of winning." - Denis Waitley
  • Call.Me.Ishmael
    •
    a year ago
    Bumping a a 2021 thread about one of the most common, over-trodden topics we get here. What a nitwit.
  • funonthaside
    •
    a year ago
    Leave it to her to contact you. Make her work for it. This is not a civvie conquest....it's transactional. Another text from you will do nothing other than show her you're on the hook. The points of advice made by others are numerous and spot-on. Don't pay to be friend-zoned. Also, place a steel wall and crocodile-filled moat around your emotions. Do NOT get emotionally attached to her or think she views you differently than other guys. If you feel good being there for her, that's fine...just keep reminding yourself not to fall for her or give up too much of your time or money. While I'm not sure there are NEVER situations that these situations work out, they are certainly rare. And, I suspect you come from completely different worlds, and have far different values. In summary, have fun with it, but be super cautious, lest you drain your bank account and emotions.
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