TJ (Mongering) Hiatus

Hope it goes well for you, Cristobal. I'd think a good relationship with a quality partner would be a lot more fulfilling for you than hook ups with BG's and strippers.

Cristobal, Just wanted to write and wish you the best of luck. A solid relationship, in my opinion, will always beat the moments of pleasure this addictive hobby brings us. I for one, hope you never return to TJ. JKing

@codemonkey

Thanks.

Maybe more fulfilling but not as much fun.

@jking5200

Yes, this is a very addictive hobby that was the reason I had so much difficulty with my decision:

Did I really want to give up this lifestyle for one women?

I realized it on my last visit to TJ, I saw this curvy BG, I invited her for a ficha and as we talked and she showed me her sexy pictures, let me grab her natural tits and ass, all I coukd think about was about the other girl and I knew I wanted to try the relationship.

I have spent the past five weeks just giving her all my attention and while it has not been perfect, I want to see where it goes.

Good luck cristobal. I've done this same thing on a couple of occasions. My relationships didn't work out, but I hope it does for you. Ultimately, it's about finding what makes you happy.

I have enjoyed your posts and your detuned presence will be missed. I think we all long for that special relationship that last a lifetime. Unfortunately, people change over time, growing together or growing apart.

Good luck dude! Genuinely happy for you and wish you the best. I'm not pressing for it, but I could see the same thing happening to me sooner or later.

Savior the begining of the relationship with this new woman. The honeymoon phase is always the best. You always have TJ as a fallback, but a successful real relationship beats anything in my book, as long as you are happy. Suerte!

@rh48hr

After my divorce 5 plus years ago, I was not ready for a relationship and I was having so much fun, I was not looking for a relationship.

This took me by surprise and I want to see where it goes.

In a way having fun mongering these past two years helped me be ready for a relationship because I know no matters what happens, I will be OK.

@tahoecruz

Thanks, I appreciate it.

This is a hiatus because you never know what will happen tomorrow, if it does not work out I know I will be ok.

I still need to post a few reviews and at least one article.

@oldgringo

Thanks buddy.

Too bad we never went to civvie bars in TJ, when you do knock em dead.

Yes, knowing I will be OK and have plenty of fall back, allows me try this out.

I know I told you this before but when I first separated from my ex-wife I had no idea what to do with regards to dating, sex, and relationships.

It was a gradual process to learn about the world in 2014 but now I am enjoying every moment of life and I am ready for the ready for the next chapter.

Hey Cristobal - you will be missed. I like your attitude...which is crystal clear in this statement..."no matter what happens, I will be OK". I wish you all the best...in the end, one should enjoy what one wants. You want to enjoy an exclusive relationship...good for you. For some time, you enjoyed one of the biggest thrills in life...which not many people get to enjoy.....and we all enjoyed reading about your adventures and all your sage advice. Good luck friend!

@tb1102

Thanks man.

I never considered myself a sage, I am Monger who visited TJ (and HK) way too often.

I learned much about mongering from @tahoecruz @jascoi @tpf and @oldgringo and I wanted to share my experiences hoping to help other TUSCLers.

I am not done with TUSCL (yet), I have a few more reviews and an article to write.

Of course, in mongering the girls are the reason we do what we do, but an expected benefit was meeting some very cool mongers such as @jimnelson @countryman5434 @jascoi @oldgringo @greanbeans @alejandro12 @madtiger and of course @tfp

It was a crazy experience to be able to share experiences with these mongers that I could not share with my closest friends or family.

Where else you could you hang out and tell someone that girl was a DFE or fun arriba and not be judged but rather understood and even applauded.

It is a crazy, fun filled world.

Yo Cristobal - i applaud and salute you! I totally support your decision. I sincerely hope you get all you are seeking. It was great to meet you.
Thank you for sll your contributions. You rock!

@greanbeans

Thanks buddy.

It has been a fun ride but it is not over, I am just switching gears.

Who knows I might be back at HK in a few weeks?

The point for me is to try and just see what happens, if it works out great but if not I know I will be OK not like when I divorced where I spent 6 months completely depressed.

I guess I am ready for this.

@Cristobal, Congrats and hope you find long-lasting happiness. I will toast you with a Tecate Light during my third front-room makeout session on my next trip to HK.

Congrats buddy. Sorry we never met there but for sure appreciate all the tips

@japrufrock

Thanks, I was telling @oldgringo and @tfp you were one of the TUSCL I really wanted to meet because our stories have many simlarities.

Who knows I may return to mongering but i know I want to try and see where this relationship goes.

Enjoy your Tecate Lite.

@phandy

Thanks, I appreciate the sentiment.

I received a lot of great help from plenty of the TUSCL brethren where I felt it was duty to help too.

First of all, congratulations on your new relationship. I hope it makes you as happy as your TJ and COI club visits did.

And I understand why you say 'its with a heavy heart'. After living the single life with frequent visits to TJ it's gotta be hard to transition back into the one civie girl only life. There are definitely pros and cons to both lifestyles. All I can suggest is try to take full advantage of the pros. One of which is being able to save a good amount of money not spending it on dancers.

Like you say, if it doesn't work out then you're not worried because you KNOW what the backup plan is. And it doesn't involve sulking at home being alone.

Wait, you're in a relationship with a curvy BG?

Good for you Cristobal. I too appreciate all your posts for the past 3 months, me being new to TJ. It, along with other's experiences has helped guide me through my own experiences while in Zona Norte. Good luck in your next chapter. Lustitia suum cuique distribuit!

Viva Mexico!

cristobal... good luck.

my own experience is doing what i do now is far less money (and more satisfying) than being married to a woman i didn’t really love. but in the long run a good long relationship is nice.

@tfp

Exactly, there are pros and con in every decisión we make, I am happy to be not be afraid to be in a relationship, not worried about getting hurt but rather focused on the adventure.

I never thought I could feel this way again.

@anislee

No, the curvy BG was my last ficha (but no arriba) at HK.

It was while I was talking to her (I do not remember the BG's name), when I realized I wanted to really be with the my (now) GF and put mongering on hiatus.

@dontstop

It was an honor and privelege to try to help the TJ TUSCLers, as I was helped much by @tahoecruz @oldgringo @countryman5434 @tfp

I hope all here continue to enjoy their experiences in TJ.

Whether it is HK, Adelita's, Chicago, Bar Tropical, Escorts, Massage Parlors, or SGs there is something for everyone in TJ.

@jascoi

Thanks buddy, it was an honor hanging out with you at HK, you are a true TUSCL legend.

I am not worthy.

It's the right thing to do if you want to get the most out of the relationship and give it the best-shot - the clubs will always be there.

But quitting hardcore-mongering is like a career-criminal trying to go straight 😊 - your future sex-life may not live up to what you've become accustomed to especially as time goes by but most things worth-having require sacrifice - anyway you won't know how it will be unless you try but it would maybe be a bit-easier if you were burned-out with the monger-game and it wasn't doing much for you - go and give-it the old TUSCL-try 😄

@papi_chulo

I agree leaving the mongering life style when I am having so much is not easy, I have been weighing the pros and cons for weeks.

The good thing for me is that if this relationship does not work, I know how to move on whereas when I went through my divorce I was a wreck and clueless.

The best relationships are the ones that sneak up and take you by surprise. My own courtship, which was 38 years ago, lasted only six weeks before I, or was it we, popped the question.

All the best, man. After we've read your last "filed" interview, I hope we never see another new article from you.

@atacdawg

Thanks, I am not to sure where this is headed but I want to try, she has expressed feelings and pursuing this too.

So yes I have been on hiatus and soon I will be filling my last reviews and article.

The main I take is yes, for ne, a relationship is worth being on hiatus and if it does not work out I will be ok.

Update:

Wow, this has been a real adventure.

It has been everything I wanted and more; however, there are times I miss mongering.

A relationship requires real work, and consideration, I try to put her needs and feelings before my own.

While mongering only requires the funds and the means, yes, there may be challenges finding company but I was usually pretty happy with my success rate.

Especially in TJ where the mongering value is great (if you like Mexican women), all types of BGs waiting to satisfy your desires is what I sometimes miss.

It was tough to delete contacts and then respond to my former ABGs I was not returning.

My SFBG (second favorite) texted me a few times even after I told her I would not be visiting (and the reason why), she told me we should meet up and go out (no money involved) because she enjoyed my company, a difficult decision but I passed.

Overall, I am happy with my decison though I sometimes miss mongering.

Glad to hear it’s working out for you.

I would wish for everyone, on this board and elsewhere, that they would be enlightened enough to find and work out that kind of happiness also.

I must’ve missed this. I’m not really in the TJ loop though. Congrats Cristobol hell I don’t blame you. If I found a great girl I would leave mongering too. Good luck man.

I"m happy for you dude. That actually is the perfect world. Be happy and content with one person and stay with the one person. Good luck sir. I am actually a little jealous.

@623

Thanks but for me it was not enlightenment but good old fashion, dumb luck.

For me mongering is fun but it is temporary, I compare it to a drug where the high is amazing but not lasting.

Also, it is a lot of work probably more work than most Mongers want to put into, as P4P is so much easier and less drama.

@muddy

Thanks, I was lucky to find a great girl willing to deal with me and my baggage.

Enlightened is being aware enough to recognize good luck when it smacks you upside the head. 🙂

@623

I agree 100%

@heaving

So far it is working pretty good for me but it is real work, not just fun.

For instance, this weekend she flew back to her family for a funeral and has been depressed for about a week.

But I try to support because I care about her and her family.

@warrior15

Thanks and it is pretty great but sometimes I miss the days of heading to TJ for the day.

As I've posted in the past, by age 30 I felt marriage and its responsibilities was not something I wanted/desired - not that I felt marriage and having a family was a bad thing, just felt it wasn't for me and really didn't have the desire for it other than the societal expectations.

Since I didn't want to be married, w/ time I started wondering why I was in relationships that had many of the same requirements as marriage and which I would jump from one to another when the female wanted more, or I got bored - thus I didn't want the demands/constraints of a relationship, but still wanted access to women - then I found Baby Dolls when I moved to Dallas which was a supa-fun club and different from the handful of clubs I had visited in years past which didn't do that much for me - I felt I had found the answer for me in mongering particularly strip-clubs, access to almost unlimited hot-women (via having access to many clubs in a large metro-area) w/o any demands/strings-attached - and I felt I'd be happy w/ that for the rest of my life.

A decade+ later and I feel burned-out w/ the SC scene and it doesn't do for me what is used to which I thought would never happen since I enjoyed SCing so much (access to women w/o commitment, basically instant-gratification which worked for me and pretty-much what I wanted/was-looking-for).

Now that mongering is not doing it for me, the thought crosses my mind of getting into a relationship again - problem is it's always been hard for me to stick w/ a single girl for any length of time and not get bored and wanna try something different - hell in strip-clubs my M.O. has always been to get with as many different dancers as I could and found attractive, vs sticking w/ just one dancer, thus I've never had a fave-dancer that I go to a club just to see her, nor did I ever really have that desire nor did I usually have a desire to repeat w/ the same-dancer(s) even if I liked them - so although a relationship is somewhat appealing to me at this point that I'm not enjoying mongering, the thought of being w/ just one chick kinda seems hard for me to do, but maybe I'm in a different stage in life where perhaps I can pull it off unlike b/f when I was perpetually wanting to be w/ a every desirable woman I saw (and why strip-clubbing fit me so well) - so now I'm kinda in a holding-pattern which really doesn't bother me too-much but I feel I gotta decide on something, either somehow get my monger-mojo back, or maybe try relationships again after 10+ years of not being in one.

^Or maybe your 37,378 posts have worn you out. Just kidding. But that's quite a lot of posting and educating.

Interesting comment @papi_chulo

Overall I was enjoying my mongering lifestyle (maybe too much) and was not looking for a relationship, though I had plenty of ABGs and enjoyed countless evenings with beautiful BGs.

But one day it hit me, I liked this one girl more than I liked partying and mongering.

Life can be funny that way.

We never know, maybe next week she dumps me and after a mourning period I return to mongering, or maybe not.

Good luck @papi_chulo

"... Or maybe your 37,378 posts have worn you out ..."

Yeah - maybe I've overdone it a bit

😄

But that's kinda my M.O. - I usually don't do anything halfway

@heaving

I agree even for a hardcore Monger like myself, someone liking you rates higher than mongering.

The reality though is mongering is easier and less drama.

@Cristobal, my 2 cents:

I think you nailed it with this quote: "For me mongering is fun but it is temporary, I compare it to a drug where the high is amazing but not lasting."

That's exactly how I feel (and many others, probably) after a trip to HK, like last week. During the last of my three days there, there was a little bit of sadness knowing I have to leave soon, and there's definitely a downer when you get in that shuttle and head to the border and board the trolley for the airport. But when you have that special gal in your life, she will be there for you, day after day. I'd love having that again. It sounds like you're happy, so my advice is lose those thoughts about mongering and don't even bother reading boards like this. Enjoy what you have.

@japrufrock

The main reason I occasionally miss my mongering days is the variety and the chase, when in TJ or COI the variety is amazing, whatever I was in the mood for I could find.

But I do enjoy having that special person there everyday much more than the chase and variety of mongering.

Haven't checked this board in a while but do remember your post from back in November. It is great to see your decision to step back from the hobby working out for you!!

@jking5200

Thanks, it is going good despite the occasional difficulties, overall I am happy with my decision but every once in a while I think about all the great times while partying in COI and TJ.

I have been on Mongering hiatus for over a year (recap: I decided to date exclusively) and overall the relationship is going well.

As with any relationship, there are ups and down, overall I am happy with my decision.

The situation with Covid has added difficulties to our relationship: she lost her job, lost her appartment, her mother contacted (and fully recovered) from Covid, her aunt and her neighbor passed away from Covid, she was laid off a second time.

My girlfriend also had her apendix rupture (she recovered), electrical problems at her new home, and she hit by a drunk driver in which she broke her nose and totalled the car.

Yes, those are many problems to deal with over this year but that is the reality of a relationship, you are there for the good and the tough times.

I admit I do slightly miss mongering, I miss being free to go to COI or TJ and find some company with a beautuful women.

However, I do not miss it enough to give up on my relationship.

Hey there,

Good luck with all this. I can relate all too well.

Being in a serious relationship has kept me sidelined (apart from a VERY occasional SC visit, where I don't pursue any "extras") the last couple of years.

With that said, I think about TJ every single day. Had some of the best times of my life there, and if I were single, I'd be on the next plane down.

This has always been my "thing" and I am mostly OK with that, but at the end of the day,I think that being in a good relationship is better. Not too many of us get to "have it all", ya know?

Good luck, Cristobal (and EmptyAngel) in your relationship. Full time, for better or worse, does bring some difficult days, but a warm cuddle (or ?) each night is great what most of us mammals want/need.

As much as I like reading about fun in and out of a SC, a REAL connection is

.. great.

Cristobal, it’s good to hear that you are happy with your decision. Continue with that positive attitude. Like you said, ups and downs. But thats the truth eith EVERYTHING! Hope to have a drink with you one of these days

@greanbeans thanks man, it gas been an eventful year.

I am down for a few drinks once things open up back to normal.

@emptyangel, I can understand completely about thinking about TJ everyday.

TJ is a mongering haven, if you like Mexican women, there is something for everyone at a decent price.

The times I take a walk down memory lane I really miss those adventures but they were just a momentary fantasy.

And those were very fun times.

While I still remain on Mongering hiatus, this past weekend I made the trip to Tijuana, Mexico to hang out with my work buddies and watch an important fútbol (soccer) match.

The Pedwest Entrance was closed so I walked over to the nearby entry point, the line was short at 3pm and the border agent had me go to a small room where they explained we have to purchase a 6 month travel visa since Mexico is still closed to tourism.

About 15 minutes later and $30 lighter I was walking into Mexico for the first time since September 2019.

With time to kill and no phone service, I make the 30 minute walk to Hong Kong TJ to use their WiFi, enjoy the sites taking one for the TUSCL team.

My mission was simple, observe and enjoy the sights, check the layout, perhaps buy a ficha or two for a bargirl (BG) or two and extract some intel and report back to my TUSCL brethren.

After spending about an hour at HK, I went to meet my friends at the Zona Río, once the match concluded my friends wanted to go to El Centro and check out the strip clubs.

My friends are young and live in TJ, so I thought they could provide insight from a local perspective, so I returned to the Zona Norte.

The night continued with a brief visit to HK and some of the smaller bars, then we ended up spending most of our time at Chicago Club.

At 1am they called it a night and headed home, I stopped by Adelita's and finishing my night at HK, proving I can still have fun even while on Mongering hiatus.

I will be submitting the reviews shortly.

Gracias!

No doubt in my mind the OP made the right choice. The best relationships are the ones that find you, not the ones you look for. My wife and I were supposed to be a one night stand.......more than 30 years ago. If it doesn't work out, women for hire will still be there. Taking a hiatus from this to give 100% to a relationship is wicked smaht as we say here. Free legal advice - when you win her, keep winning her every day instead of taking her for granted. Over the past 38 years of divorce law I have found out that marriages don't end with a big fight like on television or in a movie. They end for the same reason the plants in your house die when no one waters them while you're away for a few weeks: neglect. Marriages end because it seems the spouse you spent so much time winning before marriage, wasn't worth winning every day after your marriage.

Awesome advice ski. You left out the part that explained watering the plant would also create dividends far in excess of any expectations, on both sides.

@skibum609

Great advice about "winning her everyday"

Admittingly, I believe my first marriage ended partly because I stopped "winning her everyday"

^ everyone takes a mulligan on the golf course, so why not for love.

@Cristobal, my TJ brother from another mother,

Glad to see you're doing well.

It's been a tough, sexless 14 months for me. I haven't even masturbated much; that's how out of sorts I am.

But now that I'm fully vaccinated, I'm ready to return to TJ next month. Questions: What do you tell them at the border you're going there for? And are there any hassles going in or coming back? Or does buying that six-month visa take care of everything? Also, is it business as usual at HK.

Thanks, my man, and good luck with your hiatus.

@japrufrock

Good to hear from you and I am glad you are ready to party in TJ once again.

As far as crossing into TJ is concerned, I decided to go with the honest route and they had me go into a small room with 4 other people where the agent explained essential we had to buy a travel visa ($30 for six months).

I read some PLs avoid this by telling the border agentes they had dental or medical reasons for crossing, when I crossed my agent was sending everyone to the room.

I filled out the form, paid the $30 and a few minutes I was crossing the border.

On the return crossing into the US, the border agent asked "are you bringing anything into the US?" a simple "no" and he asked me stand in front of a device (camera?) and I was back in the US.

The party atomosphere in TJ is back, I had plenty of fun even without partaking.

You should have plenty of fun.

Good luck and happy Mongering 2021.

A brief update on my continued hiatus:

All goes well with my GF, I am very happy with her.

As with all relationships, we have our ups and downs but overall many more ups.

The regrets are very few and soon I could very soon change my statud from hiatus to retirement and send Little Cristobal to Canton.

While on hiatus, I have visited TJ a few times to meet up with workmates and even with felliw TUSCLers to enjoy the sights of TJ but definitely no arribas.

I finally met the legendary @tahoecruz and as @tfp accurately referred to him as a mongering James Bond.

I also met up with @greanbeans and @besmitty

@greanbeans is working on his Hall of Fane TJ Branch mongering career and @besmitty is looking like a future all pro TJ mongerer.

There are a few other TUSCLers I would like to meet up and share some stories, so @garfield84 and @japrufrock if you guys ever want to meet up in TJ, hit me up and the first round is on me.

To the rest of the brethren: Happy Mongering 2022!

@Cristobal -- I was so fortunate to have my first experience in TJ led by you and @greenbeans. So much wisdom and insight was given to me by the 2 of you. Lucky to have met you and consider you a friend even though we only met once ! Since then I've been to TJ I think 6 or 7 times. Just about every 6-8 weeks. Through you and GB, I have been able to meet a lot of people, and even show around 3 people their first trips, along with helping a handful over TUSCL messages for their first trips... TJ is a fun place where you can feel free, and do things you don't do in the USA, but for me it's more than that. It's developing friendships and relationships. I can truly say there are some TJ mongers that I consider good friends now. It definitely has opened my eyes. That said, I'm very happy for you, to have been able to find yourself someone you'd like to spend more time with than go to TJ. I haven't been lucky enough, not yet anyway. I hope to follow the same path sometime, but until then, I'll Monger on! I'm glad I made the All-Pro TJ team ! After a few years, maybe induction to the HOF! Good luck brotha!

@Cristobal, glad to hear you're doing well. Best wishes for a lasting relationship and retirement from the game. There is definitely a plaque with your name on it waiting in Canton (or Cooperstown, whichever you prefer). I'm honored to be mentioned me in the same post as first-ballot Hall of Famers @tahoecruz (@PutaTester) and @Greanbeans. Would definitely like to hang with other TUSCL heavyweights during my next trip, hopefully in mid-August.

@japru - pending work schedule, I may be going Aug 1st (monday) for my bday and i'd prob leave wed to go home.

@besmitty, I'll hit you up with a DM if I'm there on those dates, but I'm guessing my trip won't be until mid- or late August.

Sounds good @orangelover. Im heading there to meet a couple guys in a few weeks (May 23/24th) now too.

@besmit, I’m in the process of trying to find a reasonable flight around that time. I’ll let you know. @orangelove, I’ll get in touch if I’m there at that time. Have never hung with anyone in TJ and would like a wingman or two.