Who's You Rather: Salma Hayek vs. Jenny McCarthy

avatar for AnonymousJim
AnonymousJim
Scanning the room from the back
This is one of two matchups in the First Round where I'm hoping the result is a mere formality, while I'm also acknowledging the potential of this thread to become a disaster.

I almost feel like I have to pre-defend McCarthy's selection into the 64. Hopefully you've been able to tell this bracket has skewed pretty heavy 90s, and you've gotta admit, McCarthy was one of the hottest women of that decade. Playboy, Singled Out, she was hot. That's why she's here.

Yes, she became the face of a movement I disagree with. She's said herself she's not truly anti-vaxx, but she clearly didn't think that through before she started opening her mouth once upon a time, and the movement has since spiraled, as the Internet allows people to believe what they want to believe.

Even though she's since said things that many of us shake our head at, she was SO hot once upon a time that she still was one of the first 64 women I thought, "I'd still like to see her naked." That's why she's here.

That said, I'm kind of hoping I'm solving this problem with the way I seeded her, notably the competition I pitted her against in the first round.

This being TUSCL, I'm prepared for this thread to go sideways. I won't be surprised if it does. All I'll say is this: I'm pre-filing the first vote for Hayek and for those of you who say "No contest," yes, I kind of hope it is.

I'll do what I usually do: Try to ignore any silliness and just count the votes at the end of the two days.

It's the final first-round matchup of the Celebrity Bracket. Let's get it over with.

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Celebrity Bracket: Salma HAYEK vs. Jenny McCARTHY

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Salma HAYEK

36C-24-36

PIC: https://www.tuscl.net/photo.php?id=1936
CLIP: (sexy dancing) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qnJJ2foj…

---

Two words: Santanico Pandemonium. Routinely considered one of the sexiest women in the world, if not the history of film, Hayek burst from the telenovela scene into the mainstream with a stunning debut in Robert Rodriguez's Desperado, which she then followed with her show-stopping appearance in From Dusk 'Til Dawn. In her time since, she's won critical acclaim for portraying Frida Kahlo, done everything from drama to comedy on film and TV, and even landed herself a French billionaire husband who previously fathered a child with Linda Evangelista. That said, she's appeared as a stripper at least twice on film (see also: Dogma) and isn't afraid to show us her amazing body. She just turned 53 and is still considered one of the most beautiful women in the world. Dios mío, qué mujer.

---

Jenny McCARTHY

34D-24-35

PIC: https://www.tuscl.net/photo.php?id=1914
CLIP: (Playboy photoshoot) https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?v…

---

The Chicago-raised 1994 Playmate of the Year first parlayed her looks, youthfulness and humor into a spot co-hosting Singled Out, an MTV dating show. McCarthy alone made Singled Out must-watch TV, as, if I were a contestant, I probably would have spent the whole show trying to pick McCarthy up. She's since appeared in Playboy a number of times, been in many movie bit roles, dated Jim Carrey for a while, and appeared on The View and The Masked Singer. Yes, we have to mention she's written parenting books where she's somewhat pointed the finger at vaccinations for her son's autism. Though she's backed off from the stance, though she still has a number of detractors accordingly. It's the one (huge) knock against an otherwise glamorous, funny, gorgeous, sexy woman.

---

I encourage you to make a vote and be done with it.

HAYEK
McCARTHY
or NEITHER

41 comments

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avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael
5 years ago
Hayek.

No contest for me.
avatar for Lone_Wolf
Lone_Wolf
5 years ago
SH. No contest.
avatar for TFP
TFP
5 years ago
Salma Hayek and I'm sorry, this is no contest for me either. And I actually liked Jenny McCarthy and those huge boobs of hers. But Salma in her prime was 1st round jerk off material.

Should have put Jenny up against Carmen Electra. I remember them being at their primes at around the same time.
avatar for TxVegas
TxVegas
5 years ago
Hayak
avatar for Corvus
Corvus
5 years ago
Love Jenny's body but it's no contest, Salma all the way, all day long...
avatar for jackslash
jackslash
5 years ago
If contagious diseases get to vote, Jenny will win.
avatar for AnonymousJim
AnonymousJim
5 years ago
@jack: We are on TUSCL after all, so it is possible.
avatar for JAprufrock
JAprufrock
5 years ago
Salma Hayek all day and all night. So damn sexy!
avatar for JohnSmith69
JohnSmith69
5 years ago
Hayek. Not even close.
avatar for Cashman1234
Cashman1234
5 years ago
No contest - Hayek is the winner!
avatar for Muddy
Muddy
5 years ago
Hayek
avatar for Clubber
Clubber
5 years ago
Jim,

This "Who's You Rather" is a joke, correct? Only a flamin' homo wouldn't go with Salma!
avatar for AnonymousJim
AnonymousJim
5 years ago
@Clubber: Without giving away too much, high seed vs. low seed matchups are supposed to be blowouts, particularly in a bracket of 64.

Let's just say I seeded the Celebrity Bracket well. The others required more guesswork, and I wasn't always accurate. But I seeded the Celebrity Bracket well.
avatar for londonguy
londonguy
5 years ago
McCarthy for me. Close call.
avatar for wallanon
wallanon
5 years ago
If people can't separate the political views of a bimbo from whether they want to bang her, it doesn't take a speech to sort out that's a personal issue.

HAYEK because at 50+ she's still hotter than most of the women in your tournament.
avatar for rh48hr
rh48hr
5 years ago
Don't have to look at the pictures for this one.

Hayek
avatar for Warrior15
Warrior15
5 years ago
Jenny McCarthy was a very attractive woman at her peak. But Salma Hayek is one of the sexiest women that God ever created.

I'm thinking Salma may win this entire contest.
avatar for datinman
datinman
5 years ago
Hayek.
avatar for pistola
pistola
5 years ago
I would’ve said Hayek, but had the opportunity to see Jenny in person. It was one of the few times I stopped in my tracks. I didn’t even realize it was Jenny, just thought it was one of the hottest women to ever walk by me. Took me a few minutes to say, wait wasn’t that Jenny McCarthy? Sure enough it was. Guys, Jenny is 10x hotter in person, pics/TV don’t do her justice. She is An A grade hottie, I’d LDK in 20 seconds.

So, Jenny. But Salma does have a chance to win the whole thing and is a dime piece as well.
avatar for skibum609
skibum609
5 years ago
Both. Selma got marked down because the douchebag known as VH chose her.
avatar for seawa
seawa
5 years ago
McCarthy
avatar for bang69
bang69
5 years ago
Both
avatar for Ferdinx
Ferdinx
5 years ago
Hayek
avatar for bullzeye
bullzeye
5 years ago
Hayek
avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo
5 years ago
McCarthy is not my type although I do think she's very attractive - I find her facially attractive but her bod is not my type (flat ass and straight hips; also AFAIK her boobs are fake which is another strike for me) - and AFAIK she's naturally a brunette although the blonde hair looks very good on her.

I think Hayek is sexier and I like her bod much better but think McCarthy is prettier face-wise.
avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo
5 years ago
I'd choose Hayek
avatar for ime
ime
5 years ago
Hayek
avatar for DeclineToState
DeclineToState
5 years ago
Hayek. Them boobies
avatar for Longball300
Longball300
5 years ago
Salma
avatar for WILLYSGOTAWOMAN
WILLYSGOTAWOMAN
5 years ago
selma
avatar for rickthecoconutcrab
rickthecoconutcrab
5 years ago
I would like to pinch Jenny’s nipples if I could time travel to the 90s. And put a sock in her mouth. Maybe a claw up her pussy too. But the sock in her mouth is non-negotiable.

Scuttle! Scuttle! Scuttle!
avatar for IHearVoices
IHearVoices
5 years ago
Not going to lie: when I first started reading about a possible blowout, I thought it would be in the other direction. Seems like JM's type is the preference to a lot of people. JM isn't bad at all, but Salma Hayek is baaaadddd (in the Melvin Van Peebles and/or Run DMC sense).

Salma. No contest.
avatar for gSteph
gSteph
5 years ago
Hayek

But you need to find a better picture for her
avatar for AnonymousJim
AnonymousJim
5 years ago
My rule for pictures was we had see the goods in their full glory. See through, fine, but nipples were a requirement, along with a visible face.

While we get to see her nude in a number of clips, none are super clear. Frida? Kinda, but she also had the unibrow thing going. Desperado? You can't really see her face. Dusk Til Dawn? She's not actually nude in that.

Y'all know what she looks like. It's a representative sample that follows the general rule.
avatar for AnonymousJim
AnonymousJim
5 years ago
We should convince her to do a Playboy shoot while it's still viable.
avatar for Clubber
Clubber
5 years ago
SALMA in a landslide!!!

But even Selma beat Jenny!
avatar for AnonymousJim
AnonymousJim
5 years ago
I give you guys credit: This went better than I thought. I expected some trolling, and we got some, but it didn't turn into a disaster. Plus, my strategy of dangling a big-time distraction worked really well.

HAYEK: 27
McCARTHY: 4

̶S̶a̶l̶m̶a̶,̶ ̶s̶e̶n̶d̶ ̶n̶u̶d̶e̶s̶:̶ ̶4̶
̶C̶o̶n̶t̶a̶g̶e̶o̶u̶s̶ ̶d̶i̶s̶e̶a̶s̶e̶s̶:̶ ̶2̶
̶I̶s̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶a̶ ̶j̶o̶k̶e̶?̶ ̶2̶
̶P̶o̶s̶t̶e̶r̶-̶o̶n̶-̶p̶o̶s̶t̶e̶r̶ ̶c̶r̶i̶m̶e̶:̶ ̶2̶
̶B̶o̶t̶h̶:̶ ̶2̶
̶A̶N̶N̶:̶ ̶1̶ (hate to tell you, but she was already eliminated: https://www.tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=…)

Hayek takes it with a number of superlatives:

- Most voted-upon matchup (31 votes, eclipsing 28 for Denise Richards over Pamela Anderson)
- Most voted-for woman (27, far eclipsing 20 for Richards and Nikki Fritz)
- Second-highest vote share (87.1 percent, trailing Fritz's 90.9 by 3.8)

That's the good news for you Hayek fans. The bad news? She draws Richards in the next round.

That wraps up the first round in the Celebrity Bracket, though we still have 10 more matchups to go across the other three. The Celebrity matchups in the round of 32 will be as follows, listed by first competitor alphabetically:

Donna D'ERRICO vs. Marisa MILLER
Carmen ELECTRA vs. Kiana TOM
Salma HAYEK vs. Denise RICHARDS
Rebecca ROMIJN vs. Kate UPTON

Start thinking of who you want to pick in each, but save your votes. I'm only counting votes in the actual thread, and we'll have those threads after we finish up the first round in the other brackets.
avatar for AnonymousJim
AnonymousJim
5 years ago
@VH: She got 20 votes and torpedoed Pamela Anderson, which is saying something, because Pam's boobs have look like torpedos at times.

There was a lot of love for Richards in that thread. https://www.tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=…

I encourage you to save your case for when we get to that thread, though. No need to keep bumping this one in front of our new, current vote.
avatar for TFP
TFP
5 years ago
Not bad news at all. I think Hayek might have gained this whole bracket some steam. I know I didn't really attention to these threads until I saw her name. Now I'm curious who you name for the next round of girls.
avatar for georgmicrodong
georgmicrodong
5 years ago
I know I'm late, but Hayek by a mile.
avatar for Clubber
Clubber
5 years ago
I sure wish I were Alex Whitman!

Anyone else?
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