How many of you PL's are married and have been a RIL? I would guess that it is more likely that a RIL would be a single guy. I would assume that married guys would prefer to leave things at the club unless lining up otc and be just looking for fun rather than falling in love.
Questions for dancers, Considering that you have had some RIL's, how many of them are married vs. single?
Why do people get so petty and pissed about having fun?
I agree with the first post 100%. In fact, I know a fair number of dancers who prefer married guys just for that reason, especially when they are contemplating an OTC offer.
I'm not sure why the dancer in your second post was pissed off. Maybe she is a newbie or P/T type? IME most seasoned dancers either don't care or actually prefer it, but sometimes it takes baby strippers a while to wrap their arms around the reality that much of their money is probably going to come from married guys. It's also not uncommon for married guys to lie about their status initially out of misplaced guilt or shame, which seasoned dancers also know IME.
I'm married and a 3 year regular to my ATF DS. And I definitely keep things ITC without any expectations from her other than to give me and awesome "Slut Friend Experience" while I'm in the club. This means she teases my dick as I massage her in the main room for around 20min, she's in a good mood, then she gives me, at a regular's discount, high mileage dances and doesn't have a problem with me LDKing at the end. If that makes me an RIL I'm fine with that.
Keep your money........I just want to be loved !!!!! ššš
Looking back i started out as an RIL. I havenāt married anyone yet. If a girl is hot Iām in trouble but if she has a personality too Iāll be in deep shit. Despite any lessons learned.
I have been an RIL once and I got burned, mostly emotionally and it was my fault. I have had a few CF's since, and my ATF now and am attached but with my guard up. It has morphed into more of an arrangement ITC & OTC.
I know it is going to end one day so I just keep it at a distance like I would any other vice. Just got enjoying the ride.....albeit with my guard up at all times.
Generally I donāt ask and donāt care about marital status. Tho I do have to admit, there was one exception that got me a little...
One Saturday night there was a couple that came in the club. I sat with them, and the husband told me to give a few dances with the wife. Did two dances. Went back to the table. His turn. Back to wife. Back to him. Then they left not too long after. The wife was very well mannered, and not being super obnoxiously gropy but also not hostile either. And chit chatting with her, she was easy going to chat with. I personally liked her.
Saturday night the next week, I find the husband alone at the same club. I saw him sitting near sitting near the stage I was at. He tips me and sitting with him are a couple of dancers who stick around him for a while. They spend quite a bit of time schmoozing him and trying to sell a cabana. (And with the clubās prices, you HAVE to sit with the customer for a while to sell one of those)
Eventually the girls leave, and I walk up to him. He tells me that he has to leave to take care of a business meetup. At a club all the freaking way across town. But will be back for me. I tell him that sounds great, and figured he would forget and stay at that club. Especially because that club was at the time the popular ālocals clubā in town with āextra friendly dancesā...But whatever, I give him my number.
Sure enough, he actually messages me a few hours later. And is back at my club. Which is a good thing because itās slow AF that night. We sit and chit chat while he smoked. He mentions some of the other girls mentioned the cabanas. I guess I could have taken that as an opening to pitch but my MO has always been dance spamming there.
I shrugged it off and said letās get a dance. We do half a dance but then decides he wants the cabana.
Get the cabana, then part of the way there, he asks me to kiss him on the mouth. Very resolutely. Which I dodged out of but I felt felt super weird about it. It would have been less awkward if he was asking for a handjob or something.
And he told me āif you were mine, you wouldnāt have to be working here.ā
If I had never met the wife, especially with her being nice to me, the whole thing would have affected me less emotionally.
I definitely do not fall in love with strippers. However, I definitely lust over nice beautiful women! I love to simply have fun in my secret pass time / hobby. I am married to a gal 20 years younger than I and we both have our secret lives. We are ok with that and we both love each other more than we can say. We respect one another and we accept one another for who we really are. There are way too many beautiful women out there not to play with.
I also have no ATF, no CF and have yet to try sexual OTC with any stripper. I donāt count a friendly meet and greet as OTC defined by TUSCL. I have done meet and greet on 3 occasions with 3 different strippers, years apart; bought them dinner and drinks for fun night out only.
I should change my answer to Regular in Lust. Slight difference but should still be noted although too much money is often spent either way. I donāt think Iāve ever even been in love to be totally honest. Love Iām assuming you just adore being around this person and not just adore fucking them.
^^^ yes, it does, at least in my case.
Out of practice for the other kind
If you go by the RIL definition in the glossary (spends money hoping for a date that will never happen), then I would say I don't expect an OTC date from any dancer. I don't wear my wedding ring in the club, but I will always tell a dancer I'm married if she asks. If there's an OTC chance I will also tell her.
I'm not sure too many PLs really get strung along for too long looking for a date. Maybe I'm wrong and this actually happens often IRL. I would think most guys would know fairly quickly if an OTC is going to happen or not.
Married guys are less needy and clingy in general. For that reason I think it's to my advantage to tell dancers and SBs that I'm married from the beginning.
I would agree in general the single guys tend to be the RILs - married guys are already in a relationship whether they want to be or not - most single-guys are looking for a girl to be their own and a dancer showering them w/ attention in the club can give them the incorrect impression if they don't know what the SC game is about.
IMO it comes down to whether the PL is needy for someone - if he's single and not looking, he may not necessarily be any more RILish than the married guy who is not looking for someone either; but again most single guys are probably looking for someone to be with (but not necessarily all).
w.r.t. the dancer being upset b/c the PL lied - if strip-clubs were about honesty then dancers would use their real-name - strip-clubs are about smoke-and-mirrors not honesty
you guys and girlfriends... smh.
I was a RIL once, 15 years ago. Even contemplated leaving my wife for her. Then one day, after knowing her for 4 months, she texted me asking for money for rent and for her car payment. That snapped me out of it, real quick.
I really just found out a few months ago what was available in my local clubs. Since then I fall in love almost every time I go. Then back out again when I leave.
@prevert
I 100% agree, fall in love in the club and fall out when you leave.
That being said, I've been RIL once for about two weeks but once she kept hitting me for club visits but no OTC, I snapped out of it.
What if you had a DIL, dancer in love?
I had a LLIL once. A lot lizzard in love. She went crazy ass on me
I'd say for the first few months of finding a new fave that I become a rabid dog in lust. I am nitpicky as fuck with strippers, so when I finally find one that I'm attracted to I tend to fixate on her and am admittedly the most vulnerable to her hustles. I don't consider it love. To me it's pure lust.
One would think the guy whose SCing style is to look for that one specific dancer to club with every time he clubs, would be a bit more susceptible to becoming a RIL
@Papi in my case I'm just looking for a mutually beneficial long term business relationship. And I have OCD tendencies. I'll go to the same restaurant and order the same exact thing for years.
I'm married and talk about her to everyone, including dancers, so they all know I am happily married. Even used to bring my wife to the same clubs. Never asked for OTC and never intentionally met a dancer irl in 45 years of this.
A favorite I had several years ago walked away from a guy in the club really pissed off one night. She had almost slapped the guy. I said something about it and she told me he always came in to see her and always told him he was single. She had seem him in a Walmart near the club with his wife and kids. He tried telling her that was not him... lol. She would not even give him dances that night. She told me she was mad because he lied to her. She did not care if he was married.
Another question for dancers. Why would the dancer care if he lied to her if he is bringing her money?