Confessed to Wife my SC habit

If she knows you're going to a strip club, then I'd be startled if she doesn't assume that you're getting lap dances.

Extras are a whole other thing, though.

Offer to take her to a club. See what she wants to do from there.

My wife knows I go to clubs. BUT ...... she has no idea of what goes on inside a strip club. Her perception is guys sit around a stage and throw $1 bills at a burlesque dancer. I don't want to do anything to mess with that perception.

Is your wife hot? If so, she is probably getting it on with various and sundry ricks all of the time. Assuming your wife is hot, ask yourself the following:

Is there a shark wearing a suit in your bathtub? If so, he might be ricktheshark.

Is there a lion shaped ass print on your couch? If so, rickthelion was watching your TV after he assfucked your wife with his BSLC.

Do you own a boat? If you do, does your wife spend an inordinate amount of time swimming near a barnacle wearing a suit that is attached to your boat? If so, you are providing a home for the wisest crustacean of all, rickthebarnacle!

Do you find discarded drunk driving citations all over the house? If so, rickdugan (aka rickthehairlessape) is doing unspeakable things to your wife.

Here is some advice from the second wisest crustacean in the world (moi): embrace the ricks. If we find your wife hot enough to defile you should be flattered. And believe me, she is enjoying the unspeakable things we do to her!

Scuttle! Scuttle! Scuttle!

My SO and I went through something similar. Confessed our sexual fantasies, celebs crushes, porn interests. That changed our sex life for the better. We SC together because of it. I do not regret being open about that. We went through a period of sending each other hot pics of other people and celebs. It was fun.

On the other hand, I opened up to my SO about my history before we were together.

Also about a run in and chat with someone I used to “know” (I’m purposely being vague) and some of the get togethers I went to when we were just dating. Or people I knew from my younger years I chatted with BRIEFLY over social media. NO funny business at all in any of these situations ever. No cheating, no touching, no sexual conversation. And that did not go well. SO was still mad and felt betrayed.

It caused on going issues for awhile. Anyway, I regret being that open. If it’s not cheating, maybe somethings are better left unsaid. So I’m back to just keeping things to myself that I know will cause strife, like this website.

Anyway, if you did partake in extras. Or LD, I would have said a few years ago, now is your chance to be fully honest. But I’ve rethought that idea. Maybe take the victory that she was cool with the SC for the most part. Then give it TIME. Some people like to wait a while for things to sink in, then get mad weeks and months later, then not tell you but stew on it. I hope your wife is better than that, but this is how my SO is and it has caused HUGE issues in our marriage and I now know we can’t just have adult conversations about things and how we feel about them. I get the “I’m ok with that glad you told me” initially then weeks later I start getting an attitude and cold shoulder, little digs and comments or it gets brought up in a fight and I’m like “but that didn’t bother you” but turns out it did.

From my experience, if she doesn’t ask to go with you, she doesn’t want to go. Did any of her fantasies include girl on girl? Is she maybe bi? If not then I’d proceed with great caution in inviting her along. If some of her fantasies did include her being with a woman then I’d say you can mention taking her to the SC to help fulfill her fantasy and see what she says.

Be careful what you share though meaning LD and such. Sometimes in the moment they can act like it’s ok, then start acting cold and weird and you find out weeks later that it wasn’t ok.

Cum to confessions LDJunkie. We can pray over your soul in the name of jebus. We will get yoyr wife converted to the church of tuscl my brethren

Long live the Ricks! I should be flattered to have one of them defile my wife.

rickthecoconutcrab, you need to add a photo of yourself as your avatar. I want to see a crab wearing a three-piece suit.

I believe honesty is the best policy, except when it involves women.

Good for you LDJunkie. If you have a close and trusting relationship it is good to be as open and honest as possible. I hid my porn and strip clubbing from my wife for a while and she found out the hard way by having to figure it out on her own. In retrospect I should have just told her up front. Luckily her father had same problems and hid it from her mother which was an issue so she was more understanding of me I think than most women would be. Anyway, my point is that living a lie is a burden and it really is better to be honest with your wife. So good for you on coming clean.

As to your next steps you might want to slow your strip club activities down for a short while and just see how your wife really feels over the next few weeks. If her initial response proves true, then simply go back to business as usual. She effectively gave you the go-ahead that it's not a big deal.

But...you must consider the fact that she also said she's not thrilled. Take that at as much if not more value than her saying "no biggie". It still means she'd prefer you don't go to strip clubs. So try to understand a little more on what she means with this. At what point does "not thrilled" become "oh hell no"? You should clarify this tactfully.

The other thing is to keep and maintain your own clubbing limits now. If she's really OK it means you have a green light to keep going, but DON'T PUSH IT!

^ excellent advice SLD

@SirLapDancealot. Thank you for your advice I think you nailed it. In fact, last night when i “made the confession” I was half drunk and she was feeling a little aroused.

She was asking me the usual “when have I gone” “where” “with who” but her expression seemed to be genuinely interested rather than angry, on the borderline between jealous and turned on.

That night we had the best sex we’ve had in a while. While we were at it she did mention that the fact that I was out there being “naughty” turned her on. So I think I’m allowed to have my cake and eat it too.

my wife would divorce me if I went to a strip club.

(shoot. she divorced me anyway.)

Be cautious with regards to believing you can have your cake and eat it too.

Women are moody, emotional, and constantly changing their minds.

Proceed with caution.

@sirdancealot has it right, tone it down (maybe even quit for a while).

@LDJunkie your wife is still likely processing all this new info. Expect more questions and possibly changes in her attitude about it. I would advise full disclosure and truth about everything she asks. You don't have to volunteer unsolicited details, but, if asked, you should disclose. If you give her something to catch you lying about it will ruin all prior trust that was built.

Also be prepared for a little quid pro quo here. You have to be ready to be OK with some "naughty" things that she might be doing. For example would you be OK with a naked dude, better looking and in better shape than you, rubbing his dick all over her and dry humping her? If you aren't OK with this, then you can't expect your wife to be OK with you being a monger.

Wtf were you thinking? Treat your women like mushrooms..... feed em shit and keep them in the dark.

What now?

Well, that depends. I agree with Sirlap that if she asks more questions, total honesty is required, but it could be she'll not bring it up again.

When I told my wife that I sometimes go to SCs, (because I felt guilty hiding this from my best friend) she said she understood and was ok with it. After my next visit, I wanted reassurance this was still the case. Yes, she said. And lap dances? Pause.

"So, a lap dance is basically her dancing, er, rubbing on your boner?" With cuddling going on, I replied. Longer pause. "I can see why you like that".

Yes, she said, I trust you. There was more to the discussion, frequency, spending limits, request that I tell her (within a week or so of going), but that's been our situation.

And that's our working agreement, I don't go a lot, have a (no extras) great time when I do, keep it on the level with her.

Best luck with your situation.

Welcome to the club gSteph! Did you perchance find that your wife felt "burdened" by your openness with her on this subject?

@ gmd: Did you perchance find that your wife felt "burdened" by your openness with her on this subject?

No, I don't. I was burdened holding it in. We share a lot, much of our time, most of our money, hell at this point we've been together over 3/5 of our lives. She appreciated the honesty, and the more relaxed me once we had this talk. We're in this for the long haul. Best to you.

I can barely get my wife talking about fantasies....she's become practically sexless.....but the really bad part is she expects the same from me.

Don't want to divorce and wish she'd just let me go do my thing.