Choosing a dancer vs Letting a dancer choose me

A. The hottest dancers can work how they want to work. They probably make enough to not do shit they are not comfortable with. Now those fatties...

B. There is an active thread in VIP now with that exact question.

I choose my dancers based on the ones who get my dick hard. And would be a pain in the ass to lasso IRL.

I go up and tip/ask dancers I think are hot, I’m very picky. If they come up and want to get dances/go VIP cool. If not fuck them next club. I’m not paying for 6’s and 7’s. I’m just gonna be honest, Its gonna sound douchie but I’m just way too sexy for that shit. And I’m too impatient to wait around. If nothing comes my way next club or save my money. There is just way too much pussy walking this earth around to not turn my money into fantasy.

The more I club, the more I refuse to accept anything less than exactly what I want. Any discrepancies just ask directly to clarify and be respectful while doing it. Don’t find this shit out after you paid $200 to get into VIP that night. You’ll get the vibe real quick.

This VIP thread started by desertscrub is relevant:

tuscl.net

I rarely let dancers pick me. I almost always pick them.

Get used to the fact that far fewer 9/10-rated dancers offer extras. They don't need to. Unless you're a regular and known to them or you're waving around a huge wad of cash, they can afford to say no.

I ask for what I want and I don't mince words. If a dancer is being vague or if she's new to me, I'll politely explain that I'm going to give her some money up front but I'm going to hold some back until the end of the VIP (or whatever). So, if she's not going to provide what I want, then she's not going to get paid.

I frame this chat in terms of wanting to avoid an awkward / ugly conflict at the end of dance. And I'm very polite and respectful about wanting to know and respect her boundaries.

The ultimate goal is to let the dancer know that perhaps I'm new to that club, but I'm not new to strip clubs in general. Some dancers peel away pretty quickly, and that's fine. Those are probably not the dancers for me. Others will break down and talk in plain terms about what they do and don't offer, and the associated costs.

Some guys don't like this approach because it makes the encounter more transactional and less "fantasy". You need to decide what you want more... fantasy or risk of not getting what you want. If I was hitting the club relatively infrequently and with less "fun money", then I'd place less emphasis on fantasy.

Keep in mind that I don't always negotiate up front. Sometimes I roll the dice and hope for the best. Depends on my mood. I've been disappointed at times, but I've also had some brilliant experiences.

It's always going to be a gamble to some extent.

I do a little of both. I will sit at what I think is a high traffic point in the club that will have the girls walking by. I keep my head on a swivel looking to see who is about to walk by. Then I use eye contact. If I am interested in a girl , I'm gonna make it very obvious with my eye contact and motions. If I"m not interested in a girl, then I make sure I don't make eye contact with her. Looking the other way when she walks by.

The girl still approaches me, but only the girls that I want will approach me. I was real frustrated at Flight Club in Detroit. The girls don't circulate, so this plan doesn't work.

I usually want to pick the dancer. But I admit I’ve done it the other way too. Usually letting them chose me has not been a great experience but once in a while I’ve found a gem that way.

I mostly pick the dancer. But sometimes a stripper sits down at the table and turns out to be great; so once in a while, they do pick me. Vast majority of the time, it's the opposite though.

That said, mostly I just sit at the table, make at most make some eye contact, and wait for the stripper I want to come by. So from her perspective, maybe she thinks she's picked me. If she doesn't come by at all, after a while I'll go catch her on stage

There's no magic to it and trying to apply standard norms doesn't work. I tend to believe that girls who approach me are hungrier and more open than those that I have to pursue, but I've been proven wrong on that score too a few times.

More than anything you should trust your gut. Our subconscious mind processes vastly more data than our conscious mind does and guys who have done this long enough tend to pick up vibes. Also the conscious mind can tell you plenty too by observing her body language and behavior.

While I agree that the lower end girls tend to be easier pickings in many places, I don't fuck around with the B Squad, so I'm in the same position in having to parse out which hot girl will do xyz and which won't. When in doubt, just be clear about what you want. Truth be told though sometimes it's easier just to take a chance if you're just talking about a lapdance as you'll figure it out quickly enough anyway.

Good postings so far.

As in many things it can often come down to 3 things:

1. location

2. location

3. location

i.e. certain clubs one can just sit back and get attention; other clubs one has to be proactive.

I generally prefer for dancers to approach me bc:

• as has been mentioned, makes me think they're trying to earn that $$$ which makes me think they'll try harder to show me a good time - but in strip club bizarro world you never really know - I've had dancers approach me and be very forward then turn out to be duds or ROBs - I've had dancers that looked disinterested on the floor and have subsequently rocked my PL-world

• I prefer dancers approach me bc when I go to the clubs I don't want to have to put in work/effort chasing down dancers

So my default pref is for dancers to approach me although at times I will do the approaching and I admit that being the approacher usually results in being more able to get with the particular dancers one wants most - waiting to be approached also means having to deal with dancers one is not interested in - I like getting with as many dancers as possible in the club that are my type and sometimes I get cockblocked by dancers not my rype talking me up - generally like others I usually sit back and make eye-contact with dancers that interest me and avoid eye-contact with those that don't interest me.

But in some clubs one has to be proactive or one can often leave empty-handed.

w.r.t. what kinda dancers may give mileage, again a lot has to do with location location location - e.g. in ATL seems 1/2 or more of the clubs are no-touch clubs so obviously one is SOL in those clubs - but even in the ATL contact clubs that are not Follies, the contact/mileage is very hit or miss - then there are clubs in areas like Miami where at least 2-way-contact is the norm - and there are also clubs in areas where extras are the norm where most dancers are down.

As Rick mentioned, with experience one kinda develops a PL 6th-sense w.r.t. dancers but of course it's not foolproof - sometimes one can see which dancers are high-mileage by observing how they dance for others (in clubs where you can do that).

If a dancer I'm interested in is talking me up and has issues with my hands wandering as we talk, then it's usually a no-go for me (again nothing is foolproof so her letting my hands wander while we talk is no guarantee she won't be a dud when it comes time for action).

In the end if one is looking-for/wanting a specific experience, one is usually better-served being proactive and the initiator vs leaving it up to the dancers - and why in part many SCers like having fave-dancers bc they know what they'll be getting.

A dancers perspective- if a customer walks up to my stage or makes eye contact with me for a long time or more than twice then I know that I got your wallet. I am a lot more open/flirty with guys who show interest vs guys that I have to approach first.

Dugan said “More than anything you should trust your gut. Our subconscious mind processes vastly more data than our conscious mind does and guys who have done this long enough tend to pick up vibes. Also the conscious mind can tell you plenty too by observing her body language and behavior.”

^That’s a pretty good way to approach it.

I've done both as others have also indicated. The last time a dancer "chose" me (i.e. went way beyond the 'wanna dance?' question, we had a 3 month wild affair that ended badly but was still worth it. But beyond that, if a fuglys asks, I say no, no point in wasting money. But if I see a hottie I like, all it takes is a smile and eye contact and you're good to go. Thing is, you have to jump because these girls are in higher demand and you may not get another chance. Naturally, some are still awful dancers, but that's true for the ones that come up to you as well.

I wouldn't set a rule...some of my best dancer relationships today were not my type to begin with but turned out to be pretty amazing.

I usually stick to the 7’s and 8’s. As in the real world , usually the prettier the girl the worse the performance in bed. I did enjoy a 9 at Coli in Detroit for a couple of years.

Many times, I will ask a waitress to send a dancer over, especially if a have a cf in the club. I prefer the dancer approach me though. It’s better they be desperate than me.

I prefer to be approached: if I have to walk up to someone, I may as well go to a bar or dance club. I have learned that I have to walk up to some girls for various reasons, but for the most part I like to lay back and let the action come to me.

Sometimes I run into the same problems that everyone does (girls I want disappearing, girls I don't want approaching me) but that's part of the game. One thing that makes me different, though, is that I almost never sit at the club. I just feel like a target when I sit, so I stand and walk. Girls have told me that it makes me appear unapproachable. Ah well.

All that said, Dugan probably said it best when he said to go with your gut. I don't do VIPs so my gambles are small, and I've learned to cut women off after one dance if necessary. That's so important: don't accept substandard performance - however you define it - and don't wait for things to get better. One underrated but obvious thing that affects the beginnings of our interactions with dancers: the endings of our interactions with past dancers.

I told an old drinking buddy of mine in a SC a long time ago when a particular hot dancer was repeatedly dissing me the whole night “There’s always someone better.” I used to like to be chosen a long time ago. Now I really don’t care and prefer to choose, because I save a lot more money that way. I only spend when I really want to. I actually see pretty hot dancers that I would have salivated over years ago and let them walk by me because I don’t like their attitude, demeanor, habits. I actually observe a lot while I’m in the clubs.

I used to be like you and only wanted the 8s/9s ( there’s no such thing as a 10) AND the icing on top of the cake getting the perfect lap dances from them. I promise you, there are some 6s/7s that are way more worth the time, effort and trouble. An 8/9 with a crappy attitude is basically a 1, while a 6/7 with a great personality is s 9!

I let them pick me. If they sit down, smile, grab my junk and ask for a drink, then we are going to have fun.

I usually don't get w/ dancers that are not my type - but I will def pass on the hottest chick per my tastes if she walks around like she's the shit and barely acknowledges any one - a hot-chick that is low-mileage or full of herself is not worth it to me

@Papi_Chulo

Most times I let them choose me...

As Nidan111 said above if she Grabs My Dick while negotiating for dances that’s a sign that we’re going to have fun...

It doesn’t work every time but about 9 times out of 10 that a Stripper Grabbed My Dick while negotiating for dances I have always ended up happy...

@Nidan111

I call it the “Strippers Handshake”

That’s one of the signs I look out for before taking a dancer back to the VIP

Most dancers that offered me the Strippers handshake while negotiating for dances on the floor have always made sure I left the VIP happy & satisfied...

Again this method doesn’t work 100% of the time but it has it’s own way of weeding out the Low Mileage Dancers...

Dancers who approach customers do seem to he better motivated to give better dances. I am not one to sit back and wait for someone to approach me though. I usually interact with a dancer while she is on stage. If I am feeling it with her I will ask her if she does not ask me. If she is on her phone or otherwise distracted it will probably not be a good dance and is better to move on

For the most part, the dancers who I enjoyed the most and who I would return to the club to see, were the ones who approached me first.

I tend to let dancers come to me. Honestly if I approach I feel like she's gonna treat it as an easy sale and half ass it. I also honestly will take the charming 7 who knows how to get my dick hard with her words over a 9 with nothing interesting to say.

Does approaching affect performance that much? One time I...umm...I mean a friend...was just hanging out in the corner on her cell phone. And a customer just straight up walked over and asked for some lap dances and even prepaid for two songs worth. And he enjoyed the dances a lot and purchased three more right after. He seemed happy enough. 😁

like jamesSD said...

however... sometimes i get EXCELLENT results asking that 9 or 10 for a dance!

I'll be polite and get one or two dances from a dancer that sits down without being asked (and sometimes have been pleasantly surprised by how much I've enjoyed them). I prefer to tip a dancer I like at the stage, then ask her to join me. I do ask directly some, but it's rare.

I have done both. One time I reached out to a passing dancer to get rid of the one who was clamped on to me