Men that DON’T like strip clubs
AtAboy
Still learning to proofread
I get the obvious, not wanting to leave with a case of blue balls and an empty wallet (for those that don’t know about the world of extras)
But I’ve read men posting it does nothing for them. I don’t get how a straight male can not enjoy and get aroused by looking at naked women.
Am I missing something?
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Ill give it a shot though. Some “guys” nowadays are too “woke” to “objectify” and “patronize” women like that. Some dont want any bad personal press - professional, family, community- should they be spotted or anything happen while at the club. Not “worth” the “risk”.
Some guys are just fucking pussies who arent “into” random naked chicks.
Some dudes will just never, ever admit that they go or that they like that (even to some random pollster) due to previously stated reasons.
In douchebag voice: “i have a reputation to maintain!” That type of thing.
I just don’t get it.
And honestly, looking at porn is no different. Just because the woman isn’t there in person doesn’t make you any more a saint. She’s still taking her clothes off for money.
Or do these guys not look at porn?
What’s the world coming to when a guy turns down looking at a pair of titties?
I don't get anyone else. I will say this though -- when I go out with "amateurs" (non-PLs), I honestly don't quite get it, either. To me, I'm doing that more to bond with my buddies, than because the SC is so fun. I mean, Saturday night sausagefest hours, when the girls are in highest-hustle lowest-contact mode, so just sit around and get hustled by GPS girls? Meh, take it or leave it. By contrast, whenever a guy who is so-so on SCs, comes SCing with me and my buddies, they tend to walk away saying things like, "I had no idea it could be so fun".
I am someone who hates the idea of getting suckered so based on my false assumptions about the strip club I never went.
I usually go on sundays as i prefer it quieter and lately, sunday nights at my usual spots have been pretty packed and its usually a pretty young crowd. Im 32 so i mean around 30 or younger. If its generational, its def not across the board. At least in my neck of the woods.
In general, though, i think its become slightly more acceptable for girls to strip but its become less acceptable for men to ogle women, period. SCs are supposed to be an escape from an ogle-free world and i hope they remain that.
As i was writing this it lead me to a bigger theme here: the infamous double-standard regarding mens and womens sexuality is slowly but surely being narrowed. Here is a generational thing ive noticed: young women are sluttier than ever. at the same time young men have to be more and more careful about how they approach and interact with women. Im talking strictly about the civilian world now and from recent dating experience.
With so many hot chicks in school, church, the beach, night clubs, car shows, etc. there was no need to go strip clubs.
Fast forward after my divorce, Strip Clubs were still a novelty because I was unaware of extras and what could happen in the VIP room.
Well said Joe. I agree with you that this sums up the current state very well.
I get the not cheating thing. Or preferring escorts.
I guess what I’m saying is looking at a naked women is fun. Sex is one of the few pleasures in life, and I want to enjoy the sight, taste and feel of women as much as I can before I’m dead. And strip clubs are the best way to do that with hot women.
Their reasons vary and two are dating women in their 60’s. Some probably can’t get it up, Lol.
My late attorney loved to hear my stories but wouldn’t go with me. One time my ATF needed legal advice regarding child custody and he met her and me for coffee right next to the club but wouldn’t join me. The next day he was incredulous that a woman that beautiful would have sex for money. And it’s not like he was virginal - he was on the Ducati racing team in Italy in the early 70’s, told me a complex story of smuggling a kilo of coke in to the states from Vancouver about the same time, etc.
I never understood, but suspected that he looked down on me for having “to pay for pussy”. I can get all I want at age 60+. I just prefer them younger.
Here we have a toxic brew of fragile male ego, white knightism, pedastalization of women, and puritanical/uptight view of sex. Dont forget man-hating feminists that want to shut down/demonize anything that is fun for men.
Thats why american strip clubs, the ones that manage to stay open, are for the most part air dance rip off joints save for a few libertine pockets. So it makes sense that most guys dont want to waste time and money getting teased all night.
If american society in general were more open minded and chill with sex work- we would see a much more vibrant and fun sc scene and more guys drawn to it as an entertainment option.
My one current friend who doesn't go always tells me I should stop blowing my money in strip clubs. I can see why the financial aspect of it can get some people, but I don't get it with him. It's not like he gets dates.
I don't know Shadowcat!
A number of years back, a fav of mine had the priest that married her 5 years prior jonesing to do VIP with her in a local club. The favs husband had passed away 3 years after the marriage and the priest had been "a dog in heat" trying to tap into her within a year of that occuring. One night she asked me to take her upstairs to escape him and she put everything on the table at base price. While I indulged in some R rated fun, I chose not to plunder all that was offered that evening. We both enjoyed the time spent upstairs, but mostly laughing at the juxtaposition of her offering everything to me while denying the priest his request and me not engaging fully at the offer.
But there are other guys who are simply falling in line with societal norms/pressures and its broad disdain for strip clubs. These guys are often either ignorant or lying to themselves. And to a degree they know it.
(Side note... A lot of guys here play one of these roles with friends, family, and coworkers. I wouldn't be startled if some of the guys I know who "hate" strip clubs are dick deep in the VIP at least once or twice a month.)
On more than one occasion I've had guys tell me that strip clubs are "gross", and then later that night I caught them rubber-necking some hot thing who looks more like a stripper than some of the strippers I know. I call them on it and they look like they've got caught with their hand in the cookie jar.
For those guys... remove the stigma and hand them $500 and they'll put a Wile E. Coyote-shaped hole in strip club wall to get a stage seat.
If you think of libido like a dial, most of ours are probably up near 11. But some folks' may be closer to 0 or 1. And for them, I can see how the club would do nothing for them.
Some guys think my ideal of perfect is anorexic. I think some guys idea of "thick" is grossly fat. We're all different.
I can see that - if you're good looking and can get women fairly-easily compared to the avg guy, then why go pay for attention and being hustled.
I've known guys that have mongered overseas and refuse to spend the kinda $$$ spent in US clubs to get what you get
He was single at the time and said he didn’t like to go to a club and get all hot and bothered when he had no sexual outlet.
He is married now but after living overseas for so many years, I haven’t kept in touch with him.
Maybe, now that he has a sexual outlet, he would finally enjoy mongering.
Perfectly said.
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That's also how I look at it and there's not much value beyond going for OTC. Also don't like the backdrop of drugs, alcohol, crime, abuse that we talk about. Beyond that just harmless fun.
I’ve given plenty of lapdances to younger-ish guys. 😂
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I agree with the stigma comments above, some of them were especially well articulated.
I know that’s something that affected my EX BF (before he left me for a pack of hombres)
He mentioned little things in the past about going to this strip club or that one. And erm, given how I met him (at a club, then p4p OTC, then later seriously dated)...obviously wasn’t opposed to partaking in certain activities.
But he’s somebody if you asked directly, didn’t “like” strip clubs. And had the opinion that men who went to clubs frequently (as opposed to occasionally like he did) were damaged in some kind of way. But to be fair, if he was dating me then there may have been some bias if he said a statement like that.
Plus, he blasted all Texas strip clubs for being brothels and not “actual” strip clubs like Portland. (Except he wasn’t okay with me working in Portland when I visited him either.)
But despite not “liking” them, he would still go once every 2-3 months because of supposedly being dragged by friends or coworkers. Not that I cared, heck I even offered to look up TUSCL reviews. He’d listen to me read off a few reviews for him, but for him it was more of an entertainment thing and I don’t think he seriously paid attention to what was said.
And at one point, he said he “had” to get drunk to be at a club. Which seriously made me start to question a lot of things. I didn’t believe he did anything out of bounds while we were together. But I did consider that kind of attitude a “flight risk” and I seriously questioned my motives for staying. Especially because I’ve turned down some damn good “above market value” offers on his behalf. Sure some of those offers may have not been serious, but I didnt even entertain them long enough to filter them through. And I would have been mega pissed if I found out my efforts didn’t have reciprocity.
In conclusion: I think it’s safe to say that nailing down some men’s true views of strip clubs is about as reliable as nailing down some stripper’s true opinion of extras and mileage and income potential.
(Not reliable at all)
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Also: Some men may have dealt with ROB behavior at a club and have gotten disgusted with the scene in general. And I don’t mean just from a dancer, it could be from a club staff member as well.
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
I can see there are several possible reasons why a man wouldn’t be curious to visit a place with naked women walking around.
Good point that many might be giving off that persona of not being into strip clubs the same way we do to certain people in our lives. So who’s to say what someone might actually want vs what they say they want.
Nice spice, I’m not saying young men don’t visit the club, but there does seem to be a shifting preference with the younger generation that may have to do with less tolerance for the boys will be boys attitude, but maybe it’s because they have grown up with full access to porn via the internet.
They can see it all from the comfort of their bedrooms. So maybe it’s easier to dismiss strip clubs when you have access to endless porn and hookup websites. I wonder how many younger guys go once with their friends in a boys night out kind of thing but don’t care to return, saying they don’t like strip clubs. But then again, as has already been said, when you’re young, single and good looking, I can see why the SC wouldn’t be any place worth the visit.
Eh, was just a passing curiosity of mine
Some general factors that I think are key to some men not enjoying strip clubs -
Finances. If they don't make enough money to comfortable blow hundreds or more, it just may not be worth the value to them. Keep in mind - guys who get everything they want for under $200 - you probably had to do a ton of recon and trial and error over the years to get there...
Relationships with women. If a guy has not had much experience with women, he can be the type to fall in love with a dancer or not be able to understand it's all just entertainment and an exchange of money for services/entertainment. He also may be intimidated - so many possibilities.
In the end - who fucking cares? If they go or are forced to go, they aren't spending anything - they aren't competing for the girl you are wanting to spend time with....if they are in your group - don't invite them!
Hmm it’s hard to say there. On one hand, I can think of a girl or two especially on stripperweb who constantly push on about generational shifts destroying the industry. 🙄Thanks to porn. And tindr. Etc
However. Porn doesn’t provide touching, unlike dancing which does in the vast majority of clubs. Which back in the day were air dances?
(Tho it is smart for a dancer to “hedge” and do camming in addition to dancing. And many in fact do that)
And as for hookup culture, I don’t think is really happening.
https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/arc…
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/…
That does remind me, I do want to look further into those studies at some point. And find differences between those who live with their parents and have either low paying or no paying work. And those who actually go out and about and have income.
My guess is those in the second category would have more sex, but I’m not sure as to what extent. Since working long hours or certain restrictive industries could also impede a lot.
That being said, there is no denying the industry has declined quite a bit.
https://www.tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=…
BUT, I still don’t believe it’s going to go to the way of the dodo. It still fills its niche role in a way sugaring and camming and escorting can’t. It’s just simply past it’s heyday and the market is correcting itself to an appropriate number.
I personally have made enough off of younger customers to not dismiss them. (And heck, I actively appreciate many of them...tho I admit I may not be in the majority there)
But also, if a young guy goes during a boys night out, it could have been he got turned off due to dancer/customer/behavior or club vibe during a Saturday night crowd. And he really does believe that clubs are lame. At least unless he shows up at the right club/right time/right day of the week.
Then his viewpoint of clubs might shift closer to enjoyment. But I could be wrong there.
Hmm...I would say so. It indicates a certain mindset that he has and alcohol is just going to make worse. Which is a flighty and more impulsive one. And a personality that doesn’t want to make decisions consciously. It’s one I can trust less in the long term.
I’m not surprised that technology has become a hinderance to the younger generation having sex. I know some may feel this is good, less teen pregnancy and obvious decreased chances of contracting an STD.
But I’m another way it saddens me. I grew up just before technology robbed teens of having to leave their house to interact with other teens. Porn was either a nudie mag that we were too young to buy, so you’d have to get from a friend older sibling or something equally as difficult OR try to catch the occasional tit through the tv scramble on the porn channel.
So what we grew up doing was either masterbating to our imagination or getting aroused by actually sexual experiences.
More face to face time (since we weren’t texting or posting on social media) meant more times than mixed group (male/female) get togethers took a sexual turn at some point later in the evening. In fact until I was 19 and had an actually relationship, 99% of my sexual experiences including intercourse were the result of unexpected events that happened hanging out in person with various friends or friends of friends at parties or whatnot.
If I stayed home group texting or we all had our phones in our faces OR has the option to just view porn to entertain us I imagine my experiences would have been far less.
Teenage boys were more often the ones who encouraged things to escalate because again with out naked women at the click of a button, it was the only way to really see a naked woman.
Current culture may make teen boys less comfortable to do try to initiate or even persuade girls to try things. There was a time when this was a more acceptable behavior from teenage boys. But I understand why this needed to be addressed.
Also I can definitely see why the internet has impacted body image and how this can negatively affect wanting to have sex.
Actually one thing I have thought about I’m the past is how teens are being exposed to all these images of models and the perfect bodies, that they might not understand that the average person doesn’t look like that. Even in strip clubs, we’re looking at in most cases hotter than average women, that’s why they can work in that profession, and why we pay. Most of the people out there, no one would pay to take their clothes off.
But I’ve had enough experience to know what to expect from an average naked woman.
But I wonder if these younger kids think most women look like the Instagram models? I can see how that would make women feel less willing to have sex.
I know this is off topic from the original question, but still a very interesting discussion.
First of all, I always told myself, that if I ever became a stand-up comic, I would say this in my act about why certain dudes don't like SCs:
Show me a guy who doesn't like stripclubs, and I'll show you a guy that hasn't been to the right one yet.
IMO, there are 2 reasons he doesn't like SCs: #1 He went to the wrong stripclub. And, #2 he gets lappies from the wrong dancers.
1) The way I see it, some dudes get introduced to stripclubs the 'wrong way' so to speak. Maybe their first time at any SC is at a bachelor party--but often that particular dude didn't pick that particular strip club, since he's not the person being celebrated, the future groom is, so of course the spot may not be an SC that he'd like. He then figures all SCs are generally like that one SC he got dragged to and therefore he doesn't explore other SCs. Especially SCs not in his area that maybe completely different and something he'd like.
2) Same guy who gets dragged to his first stripclub has no experiences with SCs and of course is going to go straight for the wrong dancer and get a sub-par lappie. He's going to think all lappies are generally like that and he'll dislike SCs.
So, I firmly believe that every SC is different. Every fucking one. All 3,000+ of em in The U.S. has a different vibe, atmosphere, norms, etc. You may not think so, but they do. I knew of 2 strip clubs that were physically across the street from each other but each had completely different atmospheres inside. I had a group of out-of-towners with me, so I took them to that spot where the SCs are across the street from each other. I took them to the one I don't like, but I thought maybe they'd like it. They hated it. But didn't say anything to me. Then I took 'em across the street to the SC that I like and they absolutely loved it. We shut the place down. And I always wondered what would their opinion of me and the area I lived in be, if I didn't take them to that 2nd SC across the street.
Likewise, I took a good buddy of mine to his first black SC in the 'hood. He loved it. He'd been going to SCs for years, but never to a 'hood SC and it was like a whole new world to him. He generally went to the same 2-3 SCs for years without branching out.
I remember the late 90s was the first time I realized there were other SCs that were local and within driving distance. I never imagined that. You won't think of that unless someone tells you. So I feel for dudes who don't like SCs--I wonder how many SCs have they been to. I remember in the late 90s, someone on a message board, it could've been here, listed all the SCs in the area with their addresses. Because this website looked a whole lot different back in the late 90s. And at that time, I'd been regularly going to 3 local SCs that I was satisfied with. And I was loyal to the 3. And I was young, I was scared to drive to another SC at night with all the stereotypical thoughts in my head about other SCs thinking they'd have actual rats or folks with guns or whatever. But I printed out that list of all the SCs with their addresses, the list was called "The Rundown!" and I still have a copy all these years later. And I loved the new SCs I 'discovered' from that list. The girls were different, they were younger than the SCs I was going to. These SCs had different norms, I would've never known what a wall-dance was those lapdances standing up against the wall, had I not followed that list.
So, to me dudes that don't like SCs, I don't buy the BS reasons anyone else thinks. For me, it comes down to 2 things: Have they been to at least 12 different strip clubs? Have they had a lapdance from girls of different ages, races and sizes? Until then, if they don't like SCs, I tell 'em go to 12 different SCs and report back to me.