Is this normal stripper behavior?

Quit going to the club and see how she reacts.

It depends on the dynamic of the relationship. Does she only see you after you see her at the club and spend money? $100 a month is like one of her bills. Bitches fuck for less....

What concerns me is that you're letting the strip club and her role as a dancer define her relationship to you. You should be thinking of her as a girl you're seeing, who dances.

Does she treat you like a customer or a boyfriend at the club?

It's quite common. Happens in my dreams all the time.

When you date a dancer and visit her at a club as her boyfriend, its different. She doesn't want to work around you. Gets nervous. Doesn't want to disrespect you in any way so she spends her time with you and hooks you up with free drinks. Til management gets on her case.

But if its just a side bitch or just someone you're fucking, sometimes they like showing off.

If you have spent $600 total and ended up with 10 OTC dates, then you have gotten a spectacular deal. That is not normal behavior for any stripper.

He never said that's why she went out with him. If he randomly spent $600 visiting her at the club over 6 months while dating her, that's nothing.... its not prostitution. Now if he spent $100 on her each time and she then went out with him, then that's different.

@IceyLoco what about all this that you admittedly spent on your stripper ho "GF"? LMAO you spent more than most tricks.

"Yeah, Im fine with the sugar daddy aspect. Im not naive to think she'd be with me if I were broke."

"Don't care where I met her and have no problem spending the money, its not an issue."

"And I agree, its really weird that she would cut off the $$$. You'd think she'd want to push it. And at this stage while I know itll hurt in the long run, Id be down with it. She knows I'll spend it on her.It was pretty much like we were living in a hip hop video...materialistically, it was there for her. Designer shoes, bags, clothes, the best weed, expensive restaurants. She grew up poor and likes fast money..."

"Im hoping if nothing else, she misses the money. She won't find this elsewhere...it was a lot. A few hundred a day, some days over a thousand."

"... I'd even be fine with it just being about money if she just stays and acts normal."

So you guys still think there is a chance she could be hustling me then? And that maybe I just found a stripper that gives out complimentary sex with every lapdance? Wtf... well I thought my friends were crazy for thinking this but if even you experienced mongers think there's a chance that its a hustle then I guess I can't be mad at my friends. I still think its nuts though!

It's an interesting conundrum, 10 OTC dates in a 6 month period is not really much for someone you claim to be dating (unless there is a real distance issue); however, $600 over a six month period isn't much either to be considered delusional.

@Sirp she may just see you as a BFWB... business friend with benefits. If you fucked her good she might have liked it IRL...

For context, we are both already in open relationships and just meet up to have sex. We grab a drink and have a ‘date’ first just to warm up. She always comes 3+ times and is usually very eager to see me. I could probably see her every week if I wanted to but I just hit her up 1-2 times a month.

If your having fun and only spent $600 your doing well. Enjoy it while it lasts as she’s a stripper and will randomly disappear on you one day or start asking for help with her bills. Forget the semantics. Your getting laid with minimal investment. Sounds like a good deal to me.

@Sirp

To answer your questions:

Q; Is this normal stripper behavior?

A; Every stripper is a unique individual, her behavior is “normal” for her alone.

Q; Am I the delusional one here, or is it pretty clear that she is not after my money?

A; you might be delusional but it doesn’t matter, it also it doesn’t matter if you have to invest time and money to go out and have sex, as long as you believe it is a reasonable return on your investment of time and money, like with any relationship.

Some of your “friends” may be really worried about you and care that you might get “hurt” or taken advantage, again it doesn’t matter it is your call and only you know the details.

The best advice for your situation:

“Be who you are, do what you wish and can, and say what you feel; because people who mind don’t matter and people who matter don’t mind.” – Dr. Seuss

As long as there's any business relationship, it's hard to be totally sure. But 10 OTCs and $600 total spent in the club is enough to say you're well past even favored-regular status.

Tuscl tends to oversimply things into "it's this or that", when in fact with actual people there can be a mix of feelings and motivations (some of them conflicting). Sirlapdancealot's BFWB is perfectly plausible.

I'd say that right now, you're getting very special treatment, but if her intentions towards you were PURELY romantic, she likely wouldn't want you in club, so there's some business perspective mixed in.

I know one stripper who will go on dates and have sex with guys who buy CR if she is attracted to them. She is worried about the law and in her mind it's not prostitution.

She's fucking you for free. She's not going to turn down your money in the club. I get the vibe it's more FWB than dating.

Just enjoy it, don't worry so much and don't get her pregnant.

This Sirp dude sounds like another Iceyloco account.

sirp said "So you guys still think there is a chance she could be hustling me then?"

Impossible for a bunch of anonymous guys who aren't there to say one way or another.

It could be that she just likes fucking you. Women are fully capable of treating guys like convenient fucks, if that works for them.

It could be that your friends are just jealous. Nothing you say will convince them. Which leads to my larger point...

... if you're having fun and not spending a lot to have your fun, then why give a fuck about your buddies' opinions? Go have your fun and don't over analyze a good thing.

But if the curiosity is just eating you up, then stop spending any money in the club and see what happens.

This feels more like a humble brag than a legit question

"OMG - I'm fucking dancers for free - could there be a problem with that"

Dancers are not in the habit of doing shit for free let alone fucking custies for free - there may be some rare cases when a dancer may fuck a custy for free but it's def not the norm - dancers are dancers for one reason, to make $$$ and make as much $$$ as possible, not to hook up for free w/ custies (except in rare occasions).

Having said this - dancers gotta hook up w/ somebody - if they are fucking you for free as you state then I don't see a problem - the problem usually occurs when PLs get manipulated by dancers and pretty-soon they are paying her rent.

I already know for a fact she's into me for numerous reasons, I'm just surprised my friends would doubt it just because I still buy a lapdance from her occasionally. They see any money changing hands in that context, no matter how small, and it casts the whole rest of the relationship into doubt for them. But I guess it's understandable given the replies here - whenever there's any business involved, there's always going to be doubt.

Going into the club and getting some dances with a girl I've been seeing OTC and have already had sex with can be really fucking sexy! It's kind of ironic since at that point I could get it for free but I go in and pay sometimes anyway. I usually won't spend more than $100 cause I don't want to risk becoming viewed as a real income source but it has been a lot of fun, I've done it with a few different girls in that scenario.

This kind of behavior is quite normal. It is common not only among strippers, it’s also common among your ordinary, civilian girl-next-door types. In high school I had some girls blow me just because I helped them with their calculus homework.

It really doesn’t take much with a lot of women.

Just the other day my wife asked me to pick up fresh milk for our kids on my way home from work. She was so grateful when I brought home the milk she gave me a blow job in the shower and then later let me fuck her on the couch after the kids were asleep.

Apart from the milk, she never asked for anything else, cash or otherwise.

@TFP

What's got your spidey senses tingling?

Sirp said "I already know for a fact she's into me for numerous reasons..."

Well, then you don't need to ask us about it or care about your friends' opinions. I agree with Papi. This sounds like a humble brag being passed off as a question. But who knows.

The problem with bragging on here is that even if you're being 100% truthful, it's indistinguishable from a lie to a bunch of anonymous guys on a strip club message board.

@sirp, where at in California? I think bay area, or LA area that money is nothing. I hear girls in COI talking about making a grand in a day

One way to find out is to supply me her stage name and the club she works in. I will TOFTT and visit her, pay her more than $600 over 6 months and see if I can get the same or better deal. If I do, then we have our answer.

@Cristobal I read the thread while not logged in so I was able to see Icey's posts. But this story from the OP is Icey's same claimed MO. That he sees strippers in clubs but actually gets with them outside for no money. And that he spends a little in the club just because but he's not paying for OTC so he's not a trick like everyone else.

Plus the fact that Icey himself came rushing in to say that this guy's relationship wasn't prostitution. Even though he's quick to call anyone else the T word when they mention OTC acts. Then when Warrior said something about $600 for 10 OTC dates, Icey was quick to clarify for this new guy that he said $600 over six months of club time, not dates.

Maybe I'm just the paranoid one and the guy is just humble bragging. But I don't think so, I really think it's just Icey behind yet another profile.

@TFP

Nice detective work.

I definitely see your point and I don't think you are being paranoid.

You’ve got to realize that it’s all normal behavior according to a stripper.

surp. i’m jealous.

(Dang seri/AutoCorrect. I typed SIRP four times and still it changed your name.)

Sirp is auditioning for a seat on the Council of Ricks!

I bet “Sirp” is some sort of aces contraction for “super-interesting rick person” ;)

@TFP... you might be correct.

The ultimate answer to any of these scenarios is: Stop paying her. See what happens.

Ishmael, I'm not trying to prove that she's interested in me and not just my money, I already know that. I was just curious if my friends were being reasonable to suspect that she was after my money when she very obviously is not.

... and it sounds like they are being reasonable, given the amount of skepticism here, despite what I consider to be overwhelming evidence in my favor.

It is reasonable. Because a stripper's job is to leverage intimacy to get cash. How purely mercenary they might be varies from dancer to dancer, but that's the job.

@Sirp, if you know she likes you for you, great. This forum can be pretty jaded. The only thing I would say is 10 dates in 6 months isn't a lot and if she sees you only after you give her money in the club then yeah money probably has to do with it. That said, money is a thing with any woman. I'd also ask yourself, is she your type....is she like the girls you'd get outside the club, if so then great, if not, think about it.

And dating strippers isn't hard.... its kinda easy.

@Sirp I'm going to tell you a similar situation that i find myself in and you tell me if you think the same thing you think for your own situation. Then I'm going to give you my take on your situation

Mu situation: back in November, i decide to approach this dancer and invite her to my table once her second set is done. She does and we talk. I buy two dances. Do it again the next day. This repeats throughout November and December, some combination of Sunday Monday and Friday. Sometimes one of those days. I sometimes buy three instead of two. Go back in February on my birthday. She let's me pick a song for her stage show. Here's the fun part- she tells the manager it's my birthday and he buys me a shot. About an hour and a half later, after i was done getting dances from her, she asks the manager to buy me two more shots. The next week i go to see her again. She asks the manager to yet again buy me a shot. Well, he motioned to her to ask me if i wanted a shot, same thing in my book. Did a cabana like on my birthday. Hadn't had any otc dates yet but agreed if i got two more cabanas that she'd go out with me. I didn't keep a tab, but i more or less paid the same amount in dances you did in a shorter period. It might very well be less money. And that most recent visit, she tells me two things. One i personally have never heard from a stripper. The first thing she told me was, at first she thought of me as just another regular but she didn't anymore and thought i was really cool. She even told me the exact moment she figured i was legitimately funny. Now, I've heard similar stuff from strippers before and thought nothing of it. But the second thing she told me really caught me off guard and i had to sit back and think about it. Honestly I'm still mulling it over in my head. She told me that when she met me she was really depressed but after getting to know me she wasn't anymore. I made a thread about it and the general consensus was that it had to do with the money. But i just don't think that's possible given that ive only spent 300-400 in four months on this girl. The last time i spoke two her she sent five texts, which she never does. On the other hand, remember the manager she asks to buy me drinks? I am 85-87% sure they are dating. Also i had a waitress give me a free drink once and put it on the manager tab without him knowing. So tell me, is my situation like yours? Does this girl REALLY like me?

Now let me tell you what i think about your little story.

How do people find their mates? Strippers have a very specific job i would say is very similar to a bartender, barista, cocktail waitress or even a therapist. Part of their job is to converse with, engage and be chummy with their customers. If you have a regular bartender or barista, i can see how an attachment can be developed on either side. They're human (strippers, not so much). It's totally possible to date them. But is it smart on their part? In a way everyone is right when they say stop spending money on her and see what happens. I assumed you already did somewhere into the alleged 10 otc dates. From my experience, when I've moved on to a different dancer, dancers that I've previously spent money on, still come up to me, hug me, chat for a bit. Waitresses that are not waiting on me on a particular day always stop and say hi, one even gave me a big hugSo in a way, i don't think this matters to see what happens if you stop spending money on her. On the other hand, if you guys date at least semi seriously, would you still go see her at the club? Would you still buy dances from her? I just don't think dating a customer would be to profitable for a stripper. And as low of an opinion as i have on strippers, i think they are smart enough to know that. Why would they lose out on that income? Oh you think they would find another customer to compensate? Why would they do that when they could keep you as a customer and get new ones in the process?

Verdict: this is bullshit. Either you made this entire thing up or you're leaving out that you pay her for the dates. Of all the things that didn't happen, this didn't happen the most

I think some of you guys are too jaded.

The factors I think are important, which OP left out are...

1- Does she go out with him only right after he spends money at the club?

2- What is the age difference between him and the dancer?

3- Is she the type of girl to normally be attracted to him outside the club?

4- Does she keep in touch regularly and share her real life with him or is it just the SC fantasy?


In my experience....

The thing with dancers who really like you is that they don't want you to go to the club, or when you do they don't work...they spend time with you and if they want to make some money ask you to leave. Its uncomfortable for them to do their job in front of a guy they like.

You can still tip her, or bring her some loser leaf or something. Money can be a token of affection for them. Its about the context. Which in turn depends on your connection with her....

Also, these women tend to be very giving in my experience... they'll do stuff for a guy they like and give him stuff coz that's sort of how they interpret their own value as well.

Lastly, I don't think seeing someone or being in a relationship matters to women much anymore. Cheating, even emotional cheating is the norm. They can have a better relationship and be in love with a side nigga but still claim a main nigga.

wish it were more normal

Jaded? C'mon.

Yeah, jaded and thin skinned. Its pathetic to be jaded by dancers and hoes coz of unrequited love when you know you're just a trick or a customer. Or coz they're just doing their job and you want it to be something else but it isn't.

I've been friends with and dates strippers and hoes since I was 17. I'm in my mid to late 20s now. I've been through so much shit with these bitches..... real life stripper drama shit, but its never made me jaded or made me not want to date more anymore.

Man the fuck up.

^ LMAO so says the bitter and angry stripper ho

There seems to be some confusion here, I am not trying to figure out whether or not the girl is into me. I already know she is.