Last night I was out to dinner with family and friends, as the finale of a great holiday weekend, after dinner we walked around downtown for a while and then we stopped in a local bar, for a nightcap. Tending bar was a very pretty woman, whom I recognized immediately as a dancer that I know from a Pompano beach club, she is a very friendly gregarious person, and obviously recognized me as well. After a bit she took a short break, and came over to where I was sitting and asked be to join her outside for a cigarette. I did and she asked me not to out her, and I told her I wouldn’t even think of such a thing. When I got back to my table a few of the more nosy people asked me what that was about. I said it was just a quick catch up between me and her and refused to elaborate. Have any of you had something similar happen and how did you handle it.
It's funny that she was afraid you were going to "out" her. I would have been terrified that she would have "outed" me. This hasn't ever happened to me, but I don't monger in the same city that I live in.
I think when I first saw her, I would not have spoken to her at all. But just wink and nod. Show her you recognize her but subtly give her the message that we are not "speaking" in this environment.
Years ago, I was at a job fair and ran into a former CF of mine. More awkward... I was working at a booth for my employer at the time and she was looking for work.
She and I didn't recognize / see each other because she had her head down filling out the application. When she looked up to hand it to me, we made eye contact, recognized each other, and froze.
She then pulled the application back and said calmly "This probably isn't a good idea." I agreed and she made her escape. I got some curious looks from my coworkers at the booth with me. But no one asked questions, thankfully.
Crazy. I thought the unspoken rule was "don't acknowledge each other", which really reckless people sometimes break if they're certain the coast is clear. To approach you in front of your family and friends is crazy!
I agree with others that her approaching you wasn’t a good idea. That type of thing would obviously trigger curiosity, at the least, among your family and friends. In her worry about outing, she put both you and her at greater risk of that very thing. But once it happened, it sounds like you handled it about as well as possible.
Ya Subra I always went with that as well, I don’t think it was intentional on her part just not thought out very well, it wouldn’t have caused me any problems, but that’s just me, it might have caused problems for someone else that’s for sure.
Every stripper I’ve seen in public has turned their back on me, and me as well. Not sure what I would have said or done if found in your predicament. Maybe, “I’m sure you have me confused with somebody else.”
-->"I don’t think it was intentional on her part just not thought out very well, "
That was always my fear, and one of the reasons I started using a fake name in the club. I didn't think any of "my" girls would out me on purpose, but once I realized that many strippers partied in the same clubs that I went to with my gf (eventually my wife), I figured the chances of a drunk stripper screaming my name from across the street or whatever was a real possibility. In retrospect, paranoia running away with me a bit, but the "just not thought out very well" part rings true
If she was that bold to do that one possibility is that she didn't want to miss an opportunity to reconnect with the OP - maybe she's hurting for $$$ and thus her boldness?
I'll admit that this is a scenario that I fear happening, be it friends, family, or co-workers. I'm glad that it didn't completely explode in your face.
I seem to run into strippers outside of strip clubs quite often. At least I used to, the last few months I haven't at all.
But anyway, reactions seem to always vary. I can't recall ever having it go poorly though. I've been in nearly the exact same scenario as described in the OP, out a a bar downtown with friends and family and ran into a stripper waitressing. We didn't acknowledge each other at all, and later saw each other at the club and thanked the other for the discretion. I've also ran into strippers at concerts, sporting events, etc and had them run up and say hello. I've even had the "nightmare" scenario of a stripper calling my name from across the way at the fair. Far and away though the most common interaction is a simple smile/nod type of thing & we both know not to put the other out there.
When they do approach, I've always explained it away as her being a waitress from Twin Peaks, or bartender from some other regular bar, the girl who cuts my hair, a friend/sister of an ex or something. The office crowd seems to love the breastraunts, everyone knows I hit up the bar and chat up the bartender, I've talked about the hotties who work at the barber shop, and I've got a history of dating girls in their twenties, so its not out of the question for me to have a "friend" in that age group that sees me out and says something.
Yep, met a few dancers outside the club. One years ago was working the cash register at a department store during Christmas, and actually asked me if I still went to the club. Luckily for both of us it was an out of town club that didn't sound like a typical strip club name.
I saw another at an electronics fair with her family. She noticed me got a weird look on her face and went the other direction. Next time in the club she thanked me for not saying anything,
Another occasionally waitresses during the week at a local bar near where I work, and the first time she saw me, she said "Oh hey," then quickly covered it up by saying she saw me at a different restaurant name in the area. She worked there for a few months then eventually left town.
First time at a new club there was a girl who acted like she recognized me. I got dances with her, but don’t really remember what she looks like. There’s a girl I see a couple of times a week that I think might be her. If it is, she most likely remembers and I’m left to wonder.
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I think when I first saw her, I would not have spoken to her at all. But just wink and nod. Show her you recognize her but subtly give her the message that we are not "speaking" in this environment.
It looks like things worked out to your satisfaction, but I’d have been at least a little irked.
She and I didn't recognize / see each other because she had her head down filling out the application. When she looked up to hand it to me, we made eye contact, recognized each other, and froze.
She then pulled the application back and said calmly "This probably isn't a good idea." I agreed and she made her escape. I got some curious looks from my coworkers at the booth with me. But no one asked questions, thankfully.
That was always my fear, and one of the reasons I started using a fake name in the club. I didn't think any of "my" girls would out me on purpose, but once I realized that many strippers partied in the same clubs that I went to with my gf (eventually my wife), I figured the chances of a drunk stripper screaming my name from across the street or whatever was a real possibility. In retrospect, paranoia running away with me a bit, but the "just not thought out very well" part rings true
But anyway, reactions seem to always vary. I can't recall ever having it go poorly though. I've been in nearly the exact same scenario as described in the OP, out a a bar downtown with friends and family and ran into a stripper waitressing. We didn't acknowledge each other at all, and later saw each other at the club and thanked the other for the discretion. I've also ran into strippers at concerts, sporting events, etc and had them run up and say hello. I've even had the "nightmare" scenario of a stripper calling my name from across the way at the fair. Far and away though the most common interaction is a simple smile/nod type of thing & we both know not to put the other out there.
When they do approach, I've always explained it away as her being a waitress from Twin Peaks, or bartender from some other regular bar, the girl who cuts my hair, a friend/sister of an ex or something. The office crowd seems to love the breastraunts, everyone knows I hit up the bar and chat up the bartender, I've talked about the hotties who work at the barber shop, and I've got a history of dating girls in their twenties, so its not out of the question for me to have a "friend" in that age group that sees me out and says something.
I saw another at an electronics fair with her family. She noticed me got a weird look on her face and went the other direction. Next time in the club she thanked me for not saying anything,
Another occasionally waitresses during the week at a local bar near where I work, and the first time she saw me, she said "Oh hey," then quickly covered it up by saying she saw me at a different restaurant name in the area. She worked there for a few months then eventually left town.
There’s a girl I see a couple of times a week that I think might be her. If it is, she most likely remembers and I’m left to wonder.