It is just sex. She is responding to her animal instincts, not the higher form of love. More than once I have had it happen and I have forgiven them. Of course, I am no angel either.
I wouldn't get serious with a man who gets sexual impulses to cheat when he gets drunk. If a man I was wish punched me in the face because "he was drunk," that's not an excuse. Relationship over. Same with cheating. Being drunk isn't an excuse to me, personally, and any man I would be with would know that. I've gotten drunk too many times to count and never fucked a guy that I wasn't already planning to fuck when I was sober. I realize my opinion might not be a popular one, but trust and loyalty are too important to me.
I left my ex for nearly a year and after we got back together, I found out he lied about a girl he had slept with while we weren't together. It wasn't even cheating, but he wasn't honest about it for like 10 months, so when I found out it made me so sick to my stomach I threw up a little bit. I poured the bin I threw up in on the clothes he had at my apartment. I also stabbed him with a wine key, if you want to know the truth. I ended up staying with him, because it's not like he actually cheated, but it certainly didn't help our relationship.
Not okay to get horny when drunk.
"I wouldn't get serious with a man who gets sexual impulses to cheat when he gets drunk."
But it is okay to stab someone with a key for not telling you he had sex with someone else when you weren't going out, probably to spare your feelings.
"I ended up staying with him, because it's not like he actually cheated, ..."
It was fine, guys. We went out to dinner a few hours after that. Obviously I picked an expensive place and he paid for everything. I also chose what we were drinking that night (sake and beer, which he had to pay for). Then I made him watch chick flicks with me all night and made him sleep on the couch. I ended up falling asleep on the couch with him, though, so that part was counterproductive.
He was my best friend and we had a lot of chemistry and passion in our relationship.
It was nice having a man whose commands were my wishes. But, he's the same guy with all the felonies who got me involved in a situation where I almost got one, so I felt like he owed me. Idk. When I started seeing him again after he got out of prison, I didn't know how many unresolved emotions I had towards him so I would often lash out at him, and he would usually kiss my ass a few hours later in return.
^I thought it was quite clear in my last post that I wouldn't have a problem with it when I said, verbatim, "If we are not exlusive, nothing that I said applies."
I don't know. It depends on the feelings. On one end I'd tell her to fuck off, on the other end of the scale comes a point where love is stronger than pride.
"I guess this rules out bottle service at the Jan TUSCL meet-up."
Customers aren't required to open their own bottles when getting bottled service; also, bottle service at strip clubs tends to almost always be champagne, which the top is popped to open, and liquor, where the top twists off and they attach pieces to help you pour the liquor better. None of it requires a wine key. Keep reaching. Maybe one day you'll land among the stars.
Okay, Nina, I know you're used to "champagne" with a screw off cap, so let me school you.
In the finer, upscale, michelin rated restaurants where I take my model quality civie hottie (real, not P4P) GFs, the sommelier will use a wine key to cut off the foil below the large lip of the bottle. Cutting the foil creates an even, clean line around the bottle so that once the foil is removed, the cork and cage are exposed.
So keep pretending that you're somehow a "sophisticated" person, maybe you'll actually fool someone someday.
Loyalty is everything to me, I wouldn't be able to forgive. Call me old fashioned or call me a fool, but that's how I see it. I've had a girlfriend that was unfaithful and it was not fun
"Okay, Nina, I know you're used to "champagne" with a screw off cap, so let me school you.
In the finer, upscale, michelin rated restaurants where I take my model quality civie hottie (real, not P4P) GFs, the sommelier will use a wine key to cut off the foil below the large lip of the bottle. Cutting the foil creates an even, clean line around the bottle so that once the foil is removed, the cork and cage are exposed.
So keep pretending that you're somehow a "sophisticated" person, maybe you'll actually fool someone someday."
LOL. But you thought bottle service at strip clubs includes a wine key for the buyer. Ok.
And I have dined at plenty of 3 Michelin star restaurants, whereas you probably can't tell the different between salad fork and a meat fork.
Not to mention, I was a server before I was a stripper and worked at restaurants where I was the one performing the bottle service, so I know a thing or two about it.
Dom Pérignon does not have a screw off cap, lmao, nor does any other Moët & Chandon I've ever drank. Nor does Veuve Clicquot, or any other champagne or sparkling wine I've ever gotten. Even cheaper champagnes/sparkling wines I've had in my life had the traditional seal. I don't think I've ever even seen "champagne" with a screw off cap.
Nina: I can't recall any relationship I've had in the past 20 years that was 'exclusive'...until I find my self in one I can't honestly say how I'd feel if she cheated on me. I'd have a lot of questions about how committed to me she was though if a one night stand was something she felt compelled to do.
You folks are missing the forest for the trees, it’s called a one night stand, because it’s just sex, not something to tell your SO about, if you can’t handle it with out dragging someone else into it, don’t do it.
^I would say the person who slept with someone else is the one who "dragged someone else into it," not the partner who was completely uninvolved and unaware.
^I’m not disagreeing with you about everything , but during the course of a life, things happen, people make mistakes, there is no good to come of confessing to something like that, if you have someone who you care for, and it isn’t something that occurs more than once, you are only going to hurt that person that you care about. If you are truly sorry, you don’t need to hurt that other person, you just need to strive to be better and do better.
If you have a relationship where trust is supposed to matter, keeping a secret like that from them is awful and ruins the fundamentals of the relationship.
^Furthermore, I think having secret one night stands, even once, and not having the decency to tell your partner is a pretty shitty thing to do, as it is not guaranteed that you wouldn't pick up an STD and pass it on to your partner. It's a way to spread disease.
@Nina One other point or a bone of contention if you will, are you saying that you won’t do private dances or interact with married men, some women feel that a guy going to a strip club is just as bad as infidelity itself, who’s to say who’s values are right, there is no one right answer here.
There's a big difference between married men who just get dances vs extras. Even if their wives would get upset at both. Just like there is a clear difference between going to a strip club and getting dances with a stripper vs going to a bar, getting drunk with a civvie, and having a one night stand with her.
Furthermore, dancing is my job. It is my job to entertain clients. I am not the one with the wife at home, they are. This discussion is about the person who cheats, not who the person cheated with.
^ Right now you’re just saucing the goose, but that sauce doesn’t work for everything, I don’t think there is just one correct answer to this situation, you on the other hand are judging a situation based entirely on your own feelings, if you are open minded assume for a moment it’s not all about you, and you needed to give someone advice, if you don’t see both sides that advice is going to completely incorrect.
Wait till you have a few children in this scenario, is trashing the relationship more important than those children. Sorry my life experience tells me you will see it differently with the addition of a few years and some more experience.
52 comments
I value loyalty to much.
I would try to forgive a cheater for the sake of my own peace of mind and being able to move on with my life, without them.
I can't think of a situation where I would actually take a cheater back and/or stay with them. Trust is too important in a relationship.
Kidding
I’ve heard that confession is good for the soul, but hell on everyone else.
WTF is rong with you ?
I wouldn't get serious with a man who gets sexual impulses to cheat when he gets drunk. If a man I was wish punched me in the face because "he was drunk," that's not an excuse. Relationship over. Same with cheating. Being drunk isn't an excuse to me, personally, and any man I would be with would know that. I've gotten drunk too many times to count and never fucked a guy that I wasn't already planning to fuck when I was sober. I realize my opinion might not be a popular one, but trust and loyalty are too important to me.
I left my ex for nearly a year and after we got back together, I found out he lied about a girl he had slept with while we weren't together. It wasn't even cheating, but he wasn't honest about it for like 10 months, so when I found out it made me so sick to my stomach I threw up a little bit. I poured the bin I threw up in on the clothes he had at my apartment. I also stabbed him with a wine key, if you want to know the truth. I ended up staying with him, because it's not like he actually cheated, but it certainly didn't help our relationship.
Not okay to get horny when drunk.
"I wouldn't get serious with a man who gets sexual impulses to cheat when he gets drunk."
But it is okay to stab someone with a key for not telling you he had sex with someone else when you weren't going out, probably to spare your feelings.
"I ended up staying with him, because it's not like he actually cheated, ..."
Nina's logic at work.
I’d rather get stabbed; )
It was nice having a man whose commands were my wishes. But, he's the same guy with all the felonies who got me involved in a situation where I almost got one, so I felt like he owed me. Idk. When I started seeing him again after he got out of prison, I didn't know how many unresolved emotions I had towards him so I would often lash out at him, and he would usually kiss my ass a few hours later in return.
If we are not exlusive, nothing that I said applies.
The definition allows it.
I guess this rules out bottle service at the Jan TUSCL meet-up.
@shailynn - have you forgiven Juice for what happened in Jail?
Well, stay out of my lane this time, so I don't have to beat your fraudulent ass back to SW again.
More like a one-night stand, with his 300 lb cellmate, "Virgil".
Customers aren't required to open their own bottles when getting bottled service; also, bottle service at strip clubs tends to almost always be champagne, which the top is popped to open, and liquor, where the top twists off and they attach pieces to help you pour the liquor better. None of it requires a wine key. Keep reaching. Maybe one day you'll land among the stars.
In the finer, upscale, michelin rated restaurants where I take my model quality civie hottie (real, not P4P) GFs, the sommelier will use a wine key to cut off the foil below the large lip of the bottle. Cutting the foil creates an even, clean line around the bottle so that once the foil is removed, the cork and cage are exposed.
So keep pretending that you're somehow a "sophisticated" person, maybe you'll actually fool someone someday.
In the finer, upscale, michelin rated restaurants where I take my model quality civie hottie (real, not P4P) GFs, the sommelier will use a wine key to cut off the foil below the large lip of the bottle. Cutting the foil creates an even, clean line around the bottle so that once the foil is removed, the cork and cage are exposed.
So keep pretending that you're somehow a "sophisticated" person, maybe you'll actually fool someone someday."
LOL. But you thought bottle service at strip clubs includes a wine key for the buyer. Ok.
And I have dined at plenty of 3 Michelin star restaurants, whereas you probably can't tell the different between salad fork and a meat fork.
Not to mention, I was a server before I was a stripper and worked at restaurants where I was the one performing the bottle service, so I know a thing or two about it.
Dom Pérignon does not have a screw off cap, lmao, nor does any other Moët & Chandon I've ever drank. Nor does Veuve Clicquot, or any other champagne or sparkling wine I've ever gotten. Even cheaper champagnes/sparkling wines I've had in my life had the traditional seal. I don't think I've ever even seen "champagne" with a screw off cap.
In Detroit?
Furthermore, dancing is my job. It is my job to entertain clients. I am not the one with the wife at home, they are. This discussion is about the person who cheats, not who the person cheated with.
Wait till you have a few children in this scenario, is trashing the relationship more important than those children. Sorry my life experience tells me you will see it differently with the addition of a few years and some more experience.
Often the apology or confession only serves to relieve the cheater of guilt and hurts the partner. That is selfish.