How do you keep a woman from spending all your money?

She has her own shit, you have yours, and no sharing. If you really need to be a provider, direct deposit cash into her account and consider that money gone forever.

I’mprove your earnings!

If you're the breadwinner, then direct your cash deposits to another account. Then take control of the bills and pay them from that account. Also cancel her credit cards if they are joint if she is using those to put you in debt. After doing all that, put her on a budget by transferring set amounts to her checking account.

If you are not the sole breadwinner and she is spending her own money, then you're SOL. I guess you'll just have to earn more to pay the bills that she's not covering from her end or reduce whatever spending you can control. If your efforts are not enough, then you'll have to get rid of her or go into the soup with her.

Of course, either way you could end up pissing her off and she may leave of her own accord. Problem solved.

We sort of just use cash and use her bank account to pay the bills. I dont have one. She makes money but lately its just been me and Im talking about very large amounts. She wasted 16k last month. Usually its like 3 to 5. She just buys really expensive shit. I cant hustle any more than that. Its not possible and I feel like she takes it for granted. The shit I risk for her. I recently told her to make money coz we need it but its not enough for her lifestyle. Truth is she wouldn't have this with anyone else. No one would be this stupid even if they had the resources.

How much income do you have? It should be at minimum enough to support yourself with or without her. If she’s demanding things like a fancy crib or a better car, she needs to earn it herself.

If you're the one making the cash, then just don't give it to her. Simple. If she doesn't like it then she can leave.

After my bills, I can easily have 3k or 4k left each month if I live alone. With her, its just too much though. She wanted a better apartment, buys everything designer.

I don't know how to say no to her. Ive told her I don't have any more money but she never believes me. She is very hard to say no to, I just look at her and...........

What if she leaves or gets too upset.

Seems to me like you just gotta learn to say no! Does she not work at all or something?

PhatBoy, our wage and housing system are designed to make you have to spend every penny. You might find some sort of an edge, but we are living in a condition of total exploitation.

It only gets really bad if you take it personally, see the present condition as one of personal failing. If you go that way, then all sanity is lost.

As far as the woman spending money, if she is your partner, then she has to keep it within bounds and sign on to broader shared objectives.

FWIW, in the organization I am building no one will ever have to worry about any such things.

SJG

And if she leaves....oh well

It ain't the end of the world. She'll be doing you a favor if she left! You'll save money for other things

San Jose Guy, I agree with you completely

Vantablack, I love her, there are too many vested feelings. She's a dancer.

That is the major reason I divorced my wife.

Shadowcat, yeah it can definitely strain a relationship. I want to provide but there comes a point where its just not sustainable. I have to put my foot down more.

What a turn of events. Months ago you were bragging it up on the stripper turnded GF that loved you and who you diddnt have to pay. I think you are finally beginning to realize you are a victim of the long hustle and are paying for it now.

And after she bankrupts you, how long do you think she'll hang around you broke ass? Man up and give her a non-negotiable expenditure reduction come-to-Jesus speech. If she leaves, the final result will be the same, except that you'll still have your money.

You are still early in your relationship with this girl, so remember the standards you set now will increase as you continue to provide for her.

You don’t buy your main girl a BMW when you are a young couple - then buy her a Kia a few years later. You want to start low - and increase her lifestyle. If you peak in the early months - she won’t enjoy the downgrades. That’s when girls start looking around. She will see a dude in a sweet Mercedes or Maserati - and she will start spreading for him - as he is an upgrade.

You need to think about the future - and your ability to earn more. Women will run through your money so fast - it’s unbelievable!

You love her? Damn sounds a lot like the same route I'm going currently going down.

And ATACDawg is right, she's in it for the money. You've got to slow it down somehow if you want her sticking around

You're better off with a dancer you see on occasion and it's clear that she's there because you paid her. There can be a mutual respect, but having the arrangement out in the open makes it manageable. Even with the arrangement out in the open, make sure you tell the girl no every once in a while. Expect her not to see you that time, which is fine, but it's important she understands that you can and will say no. Seeing civilians at the same time helps.

The one you have now does not seem worth the while. If it were me I'd tell her goodbye, then take a break from clubbing until you've funded your retirement accounts and build up some reserves.

You say without her you'd have an extra $3,000 to $4,000 every month. Great, throw $1,000 into savings each month, and the remaining $2,000 to $3,000 is plenty to club on . If you want real relationship have one with a responsible civilian. You'll be better off in the long run.

PhatBoy, my ex-wife was not a partner. She was merely someone who had the key to the front door.

But she still does not understand this. She saw marriage as two people submitting to outside norms. I saw marriage as a partnership.

I learned how to stand up to negative situations in the work place. But in my own personal life, no that is impossible. Partnership is not optional.

SJG

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Imagining Life After Capitalism

What can Star Trek tell us about life after capitalism? Peter Frase discusses four possible futures in a world where workers are increasingly being replaced by machines — ranging from communist and socialist societies to ones in which workers are literally disposable. (Encore presentation.) Resources: Peter Frase, Four Futures: Life After Capitalism Verso, 2014

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" . . . she's in it for the money. You've got to slow it down somehow if you want her sticking around"

This isn't bad advice, but I think better advice is to see girls on occasion that are more open about being in it for the money.

You need to pull the splinter out fast, don't let it cause an infection.

WARNING - The following accounts are considered to be forum trolls and may not be trustworthy:

san_jose_guy - commonly referred to as SJG this forum member is usually mocked or ignored, his comments should NOT be taken in any way as legitimate

Phatboy99 - definite troll account

Vantablack - possible troll account

phatboy. welcome to marriage.

^^^^^ DC said life is not just a power struggle. But there are some power struggles always waiting to erupt!

SJG

1. If you're not married to her, she gets nothing--absolutely nothing from you--except that which you gift to her out of your own accord.

2. You don't pay any of her bills or debts out of your wallet unless you offer to do so out of the kindness of your heart. No car payment, no electricity, no clothing, unless YOU decide you want to do that for her. A girlfriend is not entitled to anything and if she feels entitled, she will bleed you dry and leave, or she'll never, ever have enough from you especially if you move on to marriage. Either way, an entitled attitude (selfishness by either party) will always end up with a broken relationship.

3. She should not have access to any of your money through bank accounts or credit cards. The only money of yours she should have is that cash which you hand to her personally out of your own volition. She doesn't get to use your debit card at the ATM or your credit cards to go shopping without you. If she wants clothes, either give her some cash or take her shopping but you set the budget and you pay at the store. If this offends her or she withholds affection, end it right then and there, as it will only get worse the longer your relationship lasts.

4. No system is gamed against you. You are responsible for your relationship and your money. If you feel like you need to let her spend all your money just to get good sex, she'll never have enough to spend and you'll always feel like a slave to her habits. You'll never feel like a man in a relationship like this and you'll have nobody to blame but yourself for your misery.

Having an entitled deadbeat girlfriend is no different than a stripper's deadbeat boyfriend--and we hate the latter here on TUSCL. Why would you accept it with a woman?

I think there is built in tension between men and women, and at the risk of stirring up a hornet's nest I will try to characterize some of it:

1. Men like to build careers where the work they do is seen as having intrinsic value. And though they would like to be paid as much as possible, this intrinsic value is sacrosanct and always out ranks the money.

2. Women see such thinking in men a frivolous and unrealistic and so they see men's work as something which is obligatory and not having any value beyond this and the income produced. Women see their own incomes as proof of social status, and not needing to have any intrinsic value.

Need I say more? How could I?

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SJG

https://jacobinmag.com/

WARNING - The following accounts are considered to be forum trolls and may not be trustworthy:

san_jose_guy - commonly referred to as SJG this forum member is usually mocked or ignored, his comments should NOT be taken in any way as legitimate

I'm not paying her and she's not taking anything without permission. We live together so bills are a non issue. They're my bills too. Its not a "hustle". She asks for money and I give in coz she's really hard to say no to.

Its not really about lifestyle. We can keep up a great lifestyle. The problem is just buying expensive crap. To be fair, a lot of it is shit for our place and she buys me lots of stuff. Its not all just about her. I just want to save money.

"She wasted 16k last month. Usually its like 3 to 5."

Kick her to the curb.

I want to try to work things out

Dude... get out now.
OT: 16k/month, un-banked... that sounds legal.

Repost:

I think there is built in tension between men and women, and at the risk of stirring up a hornet's nest I will try to characterize some of it:

1. Men like to build careers where the work they do is seen as having intrinsic value. And though they would like to be paid as much as possible, this intrinsic value is sacrosanct and always out ranks the money.

2. Women see such thinking in men a frivolous and unrealistic and so they see men's work as something which is obligatory and not having any value beyond this and the income produced. Women see their own incomes as proof of social status, and not needing to have any intrinsic value.

Need I say more? How could I?

SJG

WARNING - The following accounts are considered to be forum trolls and may not be trustworthy:

san_jose_guy - commonly referred to as SJG this forum member is usually mocked or ignored, his comments should NOT be taken in any way as legitimate

Phatboy99 - definite troll account

Vantablack - possible troll account

MJX01, My job is irrelevant.

SJG, you're right.

DC9428, thats the hard part. Its just her and the way she is. The way she looks at me, makes me feel. Ive said no before and shes fine with it but sometimes I just feel like I cant coz I love her so much. If that makes sense.

For myself, I will never cohabitate or be married to a woman again. It is just a steep downgrade covered with banana peels and leading towards death.

FWIW, the organization I am building is to be the alternative.

SJG

Yeah we're at the stage where pretty much everything coming in gets spent. I dont like it

Women tend to do that, in my experience. They start going on and on, in effect saying, "We aren't spending enough money!"

And if you deal with them at that level, their capacity to spend money knows no bounds.

Repost:

I think there is built in tension between men and women, and at the risk of stirring up a hornet's nest I will try to characterize some of it:

1. Men like to build careers where the work they do is seen as having intrinsic value. And though they would like to be paid as much as possible, this intrinsic value is sacrosanct and always out ranks the money.

2. Women see such thinking in men a frivolous and unrealistic and so they see men's work as something which is obligatory and not having any value beyond this and the income produced. Women see their own incomes as proof of social status, and not needing to have any intrinsic value.

Need I say more? How could I?

SJG

I told friends of my ex-wife that for every $1 I got paid, she wanted to spend $3.

There is something broken about the relationship when it is like that. Its not just that women and men are different, there is something seriously wrong.

SJG

Step One to the road to recovery - get your balls out of her purse.

WARNING - The following accounts are considered to be forum trolls and may not be trustworthy:

san_jose_guy - commonly referred to as SJG this forum member is usually mocked or ignored, his comments should NOT be taken in any way as legitimate

Phatboy99 - definite troll account

Get a safe deposit box.

Once I took all of my wife's about 8 credit cards, and in front of her I put them into a metal can which loose tea had come in. They I filled the can with water, just leaving a bit of expansion space. Then I put the metal top on good, and then I put it into the freezer and let it freeze solid.

SJG

It's amazing how many of you seem to be taking this seriously...

She doesn't take my money, she asks for it and I give it to her. If I say no, nothing happens but she's so hard to say no to. Sometimes I also just want to give her what she never had before. But its not sustainable at this rate. If we keep it up we'll just spend everything we make and never save.

and if you dont want to reply to my thread, dont but stop trolling by calling anyone you disagree with a troll.

So, you're saying she maxed out your man card?

no. i dont have a card. she asks for money and i have a hard time saying no so i end up giving her the cash. to be fair most of it went towards shit for our place and she bought a lot for my car

you're weak, don't let your hoe spend all your money, she will spend as much as she can until your ass is on the streets.

you're weak, don't let your hoe spend all your money, she will spend as much as she can until your ass is on the streets.

she's my weakness thats the problem. I never had a soft spot for anyone before

The problem isn’t that she’s your weakness - it’s that she knows she’s your weakness. Women are generally more perceptive than men. Having an insightful stripper girlfriend (who’s your weakness) means that she already knows how weak you are - and she knows how to manipulate you to get everything she wants.

You need to step back, take a look at the relationship you’ve got going, and determine if you can realistically keep up with this cash flow over the long term. Her spending won’t decrease -

All the shit she's buying, she's not doing it for you, she's doing it to you. Guys think they can lay claim to their woman by buying them stuff. She's doing the same thing, except using your money.

You know what to do. Good luck.

> Of course, either way you could end up pissing her off and she may leave of her own accord. Problem solved.

If you front-room DATY her, you will soften her up and can eat semen fresh from her vajajay.

PhatBoy99 this women that you can not say no to is way above your league. you know if you say no to her she will probably leave you and you wont be able to find someone like her because youre a loser.

Cashman1234, "The problem isn’t that she’s your weakness - it’s that she knows she’s your weakness" You're right. I've started making her nervous and jealous though, with my side bitches and told her how I dumped my exes coz they took me for granted and used me. She hasn't asked for money in 2 days...not a big deal but yeah...kinda is with her...

SaltyNutz - She's on par with bitches I fuck. I love her for her personality and character not just her looks. And Im not a loser. If I were a loser I wouldn't be spending my adult life dating hot strippers.

Stripfighter, what do you mean?

This story is never-ending.

There are two choices here.

1. Grow a set and put a stop to it, even at the risk of losing her, or

2. Shut up, continue taking it like the bitch that you are and deal with the consequences when you owe others.

Simple. And you're welcome. ;)

... or 3. OP is a troll.

@Phatboy99, I had a similar issue except on 1/25th of the scale. For me, the issue was @mark94's advice, particularly #1: Triggers. She's not going to leave. And it she does, she wasn't yours to begin with. Or just tell her No. She's not leaving, and here's the new deal. Tough. Most women respond positively to that. I call it responding to traditional gender roles. She may grouch for while but eventually she'll drop it and get with the program. Or there's another to take her place where she came from. I suppose it depends on your constitution and grit and whether or not she's worth it. You mentioned that you weren't sure you'd marry here. Maybe this is the test where the two of you find out.

--
mark94
Arizona
February 8, 2018
Four lessons from the Wealthy Barber

1. You have to remove temptation triggers

2. Credit cards are evil, even if you don't carry a balance

3. You can't have everything you want

4. Save when the saving's good
--
Dominic77
Northeast Ohio
February 12, 2018
The next step I’ve been taking is to look at removing temptation triggers, like @mark94 posted. That’s actually been pretty useful. I got the savings up, essentially doubled now. I was going to post the exact figure, but then @cashman1234 reminded me about me hyper focusing on details. And he’s right!

Temptation triggers, stress, learning to be uncomfortable (esp. around the Mrs) when she’s compelled to want to spend. I just keep a clear head and and let nothing, absolutely nothing, bother me and stay calm. The old, “put her in a box and sit on her.” I just had to use my own advice again. It’s just uncomfortable for a single day, I tough it out, then it’s fine the next. Repeat.
--

https://www.tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=…

You have to get over the fear of losing her. You have to get over whatever issue in your head that causes you to give in to her and give her so much money. You have to grow a pair.

Dominic77 thanks. thats really good advice. Im letting it sink in

^Cool story bro lol

^^^^^ Weathy Barber is a good book. Very different from what people like Dougster and 25 run around saying.

Mark94 +10

Unfortunately though, Wealthy Barber is not really compatible with strip clubs. But it is compatible with about the best which can be had of marriage.

SJG