The end of an era (error)
gawker
Older than dirt
Nine years ago I first met a stripper who has occupied my attention and my wallet on an almost daily basis since then. By conservative estimates I figure we've had sex in its many varied ways at least 350 times and I know I've spent well over $350000 helping to satisfy her insatiable appetite for drugs and extreme behavior.
We talked and texted back and forth most of the day and I'm convinced of her determination to change her life. She said that she got a civie job and is not going to earn her living by taking her clothes off or by having sex for money. She has joined her family and is attending daily NA meetings and regular meetings of sex addicts anonymous and lovers anonymous ( new to me).
There's some anger from both of us and still many questions, and while there have been other overtures to change, none with the conviction and determination evident today.
There's another PL who has spent almost as much as I and who has invested a great deal of time & effort in her behalf however he has a terminal illness ( which may be a secondary contributing factor in her mind).
Time will tell as to whether she succeeds ( I've been assisting with her detox for the past two weeks) and I truly hope she does. But this will leave a void in my mind and in my heart.
We talked and texted back and forth most of the day and I'm convinced of her determination to change her life. She said that she got a civie job and is not going to earn her living by taking her clothes off or by having sex for money. She has joined her family and is attending daily NA meetings and regular meetings of sex addicts anonymous and lovers anonymous ( new to me).
There's some anger from both of us and still many questions, and while there have been other overtures to change, none with the conviction and determination evident today.
There's another PL who has spent almost as much as I and who has invested a great deal of time & effort in her behalf however he has a terminal illness ( which may be a secondary contributing factor in her mind).
Time will tell as to whether she succeeds ( I've been assisting with her detox for the past two weeks) and I truly hope she does. But this will leave a void in my mind and in my heart.
21 comments
I wouldn’t know how you cope with the addiction to this and other strippers. My motto has always been to pick up a new vice or hobby, and then come back to the stripper life periodically (but much less) so you don’t feel like you’re missing out. Rotating your vices allows you to have fun without dibilitating consequences, at least in theory. Smoke a blunt, have a nice dinner, travel, play poker, learn to LDK with a spinner at your local club without saying much to her, start on old man’s support group for grieving after lost ATF/CF from tuscl members, or anything else creative to get your mind off this toxic woman you’ve supported for 9 years.
Good luck! I almost hope you relapse so we get to read another train wreck story from your stripper.
Nobody can take your eloquent writing skills away from you.
Fill that void by writing the best and juiciest tales here.
She had gone to 4 different detox programs over the last 5 weeks and didn’t successfully complete any. She said she’s heard the same stuff over and over and just felt that if she was ever going to get clean and stay sober she’d have to do it herself. So she and I hit the road and meandered down the east coast. She was the DJ in the car and she blasted rap, hip hop and a few oldies ever6 day. The music, the low expectations, and the laziness was very relaxing and frankly her heroin and cocaine detoxes were relatively smooth and easy, but she’d also been taking benzoes at a pretty heavy dosage. This should have been done at a hospital because the body doesn’t like to give thes3 up. In SC she began kicking benzoes, felt sick, had a fever, elevated bp, raising heart rhythm, and so I took her to an ER. The doctor cautioned us about seizures, put her on an IV to hydrate her and sent us on our way.
Two days later she had a seizure while driving;a,ctually pulling into a gas station and tapped the bumper into a protective barrier around the gas tanks. An hour later, an other seizure.
She has burned some bridges with me and it’s become clear to us both that ours is a toxic relationship. My therapist will be pleased to learn of this happening in that he has repeatedly stated that she has led me to self-destructive behavior. I’m better off away from her.
Yeah, but nobody here wants to read about boring shit like that.
However, I don't think this is the end of an era. It is a break like his other breaks. The story will not be over until she dies of an overdose or Gawker is murdered by one of her boyfriends or drug dealers.
No judgment. My own adventures with my ATF have many similarities, although less money and fewer drugs have been involved.
Obviously, I didn't keep a log of trysts or dollars spent. These are conservative estimates. As far as frequency is concerned; we fucked 2 or 3 times a week in the first few years, but then we began having interruptions. One year she was in Hawaii for 3 or 4 months. I bought her tickets to go live on the beach with a recovering addict, but she left him, lived with a.native Hawaiian for awhile and then found a meth addicted felon from CA.
Another time her Dad sent her to Tijuana to a clinic to treat addiction by administering hullucagenic drugs. After a month there she went back to Hawaii. When she came home the same Hawaiian dude called me thinking she was carrying his baby ( he & I became Facebook friends). She wasn't.
There were some major disagreements between us and that would occasionally lead to 3 or 4 month hiatus.
The relationship is toxic because neither party is better for it. And we finished the Kama Sutra. Lol
Sadly, her body is too good to not use hard. She sounds even hotter than any porn star. So, that is a waste.
Hopefully you will find an outlet for your desires.