Insight on Her Intentions

Kirby06
Wisconsin
So this is my first time on the forum, but I have seen some topics before after popping my SC cherry in Kentucky a few months back.

Before I start I want to make it known that I may be still considered new in the SC life, but I know how the game works. I learned quick.

Anyway, my first post here will be long so I apologize in advance, but I want insight on this topic from some SC veterans who may have been in this situation. It relates into other articles about genuine attraction strippers could possibly have to a customer. This whole story spans over a month and a half. So here we go.

I decided to hit up this club shortly after I got back from Kentucky after hearing about it on the radio dozens of times before. I head to the club late afternoon when its own to check it out and it's dead with about 4 dancers inside. They were pretty decent looking, but one really caught my eye and I would say she was a borderline 8.

So I get a tour of the place and talk to some of the dancers when they asked why I came in. Told them all the same answer. So I am getting ready to have another beer and the one I spotted earlier came up to me and started talking. She introduced herself using her real first name, but I played it off shot the shit with her for a good hour.

We have a few things in common after I learned about her interests and that. So we both like the same music, sports, and doing outdoor things like fishing, camping, golf, etc. She told me she wanted to be a diesel mechanic and about her boyfriend who is former military and ten years older than her by the way. She asked if I wanted a dance and I agreed to a double. Got it, enjoyed it, tipped her and left.

Came back the next week with my buddies. She sees me, makes a beeline to talk with me and we get drinks and ask each other about our weeks. She remembered all the stuff I told her and what I had scheduled for my week. Talked again for a good 45 min, got a dance from her and took her to VIP.

So these visits continue and have a similar routine. Show up with my crew before it starts getting busy, she comes and finds me and we talk and have a few drinks and dances. So obviously this makes me her regular/PL whatever you wanna call it. In short, I got a fair amount of dances from her and four VIPs.

Each time we hung out ITC she opened up more about herself. During her second VIP she told me she broke up with her boyfriend after a dispute but had nowhere to go so she was still shacked up with him. Asked if I had a girlfriend to which I said I did not otherwise I wouldn't be in here. She said it was a shame because I was very cute, (told me she loved my smile).

She busts my balls now and then and I tease her back. Nothing deprecating, but more playful. She asked if I was an ass or tits man and I told her ass all the way because I like having something to hold on to and that gravity plays a factor with boobs. Then she asked if I liked her ass, I said I did and that it was one of the top 3 in the club. She slapped my arm and smiled asking who she was competing with. Told her the other two dancers and she agreed with me and said I was off the hook for now.

During our third VIP she told me that we could do OTC if I was interested. Said the charge would be $200.00 for a private show which would be full nude dances and that we'd see where it would go from there. Bear in mind she offered me, I didn't ask her about it. I said I would consider it and she gave me her phone number and name which I knew from our first talk. Before I left she kissed my cheek and told me she loved me. (Again, took it in stride, paid it no mind.)

I called her number to test it a few days later and it was legit. Got her voicemail and her name again. So she had my number from that, but she hasn't called for me to meet her at the club, which I assume is because she has plenty of PLs since she is pretty popular at the club.

Showed up again another night and she told me about her week. Showed me pictures of her golfing and asked when I would hit her up to go fishing or play golf.

Now that kind of threw me for a loop. She never mentioned that as an option for OTC since it sounded more business focused with what we talked about last time in VIP. I said I would be down whenever she had a day off, but I am working whenever she is off on Wednesdays, she works every day save for that one. Price never came into account for that.

Next visit was only lap dances since the club was packed and good money opportunity. So she was dancing and the club is full nude, but they have to leave bottoms in during lap dances. Only full nude on stage. She flashes me during the dance says she never does that and encourages me to spank her. (I play along since this has been common in my SC adventures).

Although I find it weird that when she is with me on the floor that she asks for permission if she can go dance for other people and apologizes when she goes on stage. I tell her it's fine and am not bothered by it because it's her job. She usually comes right back to me afterwards though unless one of her other PLs come in.

Which brings us to last weekend. I bumped into her again and we talked about what has been new in our lives. Told her I was considering a change in career since I don't see myself staying at my current job long term. She then tells me about the status with her ex who is getting more volatile, but it hasn't become a domestic violence issue (yet). Some of the other dancers and bartenders know her situation and I suggested to move out to one of their places since she gets on well with a lot of them. She told me she would have by now, but is afraid that her ex will kill himself if she does. He is not all there and should really be in the hospital.

I got a couple dances from her again and said I would be down for VIP later and she happily agreed. She ended up going with another customer to make some money when we went back to the bar.

She came back about a half hour later looking distant and I asked if she still was down for VIP. She agreed, went to smoke then we went to the back. When we got to the back to pay, she told me that it didn't feel right to call me a customer/regular and that she would give me dances for free if she could. Caught my attention, but didn't think much of it again.

She started dancing when we got in the room, butnI had her stop because I could tell she was not feeling it. So we opted to drink and talk so she could calm down since she had another 2 hours of work after she was done with me.

This time she tells me that she is always happy when I come in because she sees a friendly face and that she can be herself around me and that whenever she is with me that I see the real her.

She brought up my new career choice which revolves around law enforcement. She was supportive, but told me to be careful because she doesn't want me to get hurt.

So our session is rounding up and she says that she is getting a new phone and will be getting rid of a lot of numbers. She asked if I still had hers and I said yeah. She asked ifnI had her FB. Said no. Showed me her profile and once again, her real name, her photos, only modification was to her name to make it hard to find. Before we leave she tells me that she wants to go golfing sometime and I said I would be down for that. She hugs me and then kisses my cheek (she's done this before a few times, but I take it in stride.) She then tells me to text her when I got home to make sure I made it safe and I did and said I was a real sweetheart for letting her vent about the guy she went with before our VIP. He tried to finger her and she did not like that.

I like to pride myself on being able to read people and I never take what a stripper says at face value. I am positice that she is still viewing me as a customer, but some things she has said have made it difficult for me to get an accurate pinpoint on her. So I ask the veterans that may have been in this situation to enlighten me. What do you guys think?

Thanks for the time and I apologize for the long ass post.

58 comments

Latest

lotsoffun201
6 years ago
This sounds like it could go any one of a number of ways. My advice after years of mongering is to be on your guard and go slow. Remember you have a potential violent ex, an unstable stripper etc.... forget OTC p4p right now. Offer an uncompensated vanilla date. Golf, dinner etc. see if she goes for that first.

If she does and you have a good time, then go from there. If she insists on p4p or compensation for any meets outside the club then you have your answer.
Cashman1234
6 years ago
I think you’ve become what is called a RIL or Regular In Love. This is the initial stage of basic infatuation for your stripper relationship. Generally, this phase is hot, heavy and quite enjoyable - until you realize it’s your wallet that she desires most.

I’m sure you are special to her.

I’m sure she tells you some very intimate stuff.

She doesn’t do that shit with every customer.

But, she’s doing this because you seem to be a decent guy, and by making you feel special, she knows you’ll be back.

A couple of questions:
Have you fucked her yet?

If you have fucked - did you pay?

As her relationship deteriorates with her bf - or as she tells you it’s deteriorating - she will not leave him. She will ask you for money - to get a room somewhere. But she won’t stay at your place for free.

This is all part of the story. She is stuck in a bad relationship. Her man is a mess. She can’t leave him. You are much better than her loser bf. It feels good - it pumps up your ego. It’s also part of the con.
GACA
6 years ago
Seems legit. Let her move in. Mine did and it worked out swimmingly
twentyfive
6 years ago
This is a replay with a few twists of the Fishsticks story, this is foolish and the OP knows it, if you haven’t had an unpaid encounter with her it’s total SS, if by some quirk the OP is a legit questioner, which I doubt, run, don’t walk as far and as fast as you can.
Kirby06
6 years ago
Thanks for the comments so far guys, appreciate it. Expected as much.

To Cashman for your questions.

1.) No. No fucking.

2.) Didn't pay her anything since I never followed up on the OTC offer.
Daddillac
6 years ago
Sounds like you are about to get daddiaced
Cashman1234
6 years ago
Thanks for those answers.

One additional question -

Do you consider this a relationship or a series of business transactions?

It’s your money to spend and enjoy as you wish. But it’s still paid interactions. Until you see her otc - and don’t pay to see her otc - it’s business.
rh48hr
6 years ago
I just glanced over your opus. It's a similar refrain. What lotsoffun and cashman are spot on. There are not many successful stripper/custie relationships. These are not like a normal civie/civie relationship and you can't approach it as such.

My advice would be to enjoy her as a stripper only and don't think about a relationship. There are enough headaches within a normal relationship. Multiply this by a conservative factor of 10 and you have the headaches of a relationship with a stripper.
GACA
6 years ago
What are your two ages? Big factor here.

If you're relatively close in age this could be legit. Seems like it since you express shocked that her boyfriend was 10 years older than her. Most strippers will date guys that are significantly older than them they like maturity of stability and quite honestly they're trying to be taken care of.

But again based on the detailed notes Here It seems legit to me that you have a shot at a genuine Romance.
Kirby06
6 years ago
To Cashman.

As of now, business. Never tried the OTC offer because I was hesitant. I will take lotso's approach and see if she is down for interacting OTC. If not, I cut it off no harm no foul.
Kirby06
6 years ago
GACA,

I am going to be 26 in a couple weeks. She will be 27 in November
Cashman1234
6 years ago
Kirby - that’s a smart approach. It’s best to maintain a logical mindset when getting involved with a stripper.
Papi_Chulo
6 years ago
Customers thinking a particular dancer is into them are a dime-a-dozen - i.e. your experience about seemingly hitting it off w/ a dancer and it feeling like a "match" and "different from other dancers", it's not uncommon at all - plenty of PL-stories like this and many of us hardcore SCers also had similar situations when we were newbs.

IMO - it's often "smoke and mirrors" and not real - "good" dancers and good salespeople are often one of the same - masters of smoke-and-mirrors/illusions and manipulating custies and playing on their emotions/wishes/desires.

This is not to say that a dancer can't genuinely be into a custy - just that IMO 9 times out of 10, if not 99 times out of 100, it's not genuine nor what the custy thinks/hopes it is - a dancer's job is to make a custy feel special and the good/successful dancers have this down to an art like any good/successful salesperson - 99 times out of 100, custies are just a means to an end - customers are primarily if not exclusively just a source of income and nothing more - many dancers also have topsy-turvy lives and often use custies to get thru a rough-patch - again we are usually just a tool/a-means-to-an-end - often times dealing w/ these girls means constantly dealing w/ their problems - so one has to ask themselves what they really want and if they really want a stripper for a GF and all the potential drama that can go along w/ that including her being groped by guys on a daily-basis (and why many prefer the NSA P4P system).

Again - only she knows for sure the true feelings/intentions - but IMO in strip-club bizarro-world and when it comes to dealing w/ strippers, it's best to assume one is being hustled/used and be provem o/w, than giving the benefit of the doubt - and the fact is that many dancers also often lie and one is often not getting the whole truth (if any truth).

In short - most PLs that gotta ask if they are possibly being played, usually are - experienced SCers have already learned their lessons and don't have to ask these questions.
GACA
6 years ago
Oh, so she's older than you...

Avoid her like the plague. She's playing you for a sucka. 26 for a female is like 32 for a man. 26 for a female stripper might as well be 40 for a man.

Intellectually and life experience, she's light years ahead of you. I'm not sure that this would be a good combination for someone who's just now reaching into real manhood. He needs to experience with civilian Chicks first because even a 20 year old stripper would play you for a sucker. and not maliciously it's just that you don't have the experience they have and so you won't be able to tell when they're playing games or not.

My $0.02
Kirby06
6 years ago
No offense taken. Like I said, I expected it. I was only asking for insight because I have seen similar posts like this with mixed IOIs, so I wanted clarification.

Thanks for the input fellas.
Call.Me.Ishmael
6 years ago
Have you considered serializing this story for Kindle?
skibum609
6 years ago
Kirby - Its fun, so enjoy it. It makes you feel good, so enjoy. Its not real, remember that.
abqspencer
6 years ago
I dunno, I'm of the opinion she really is in to you.

I'd set up a golf outing or something similar and see what that day brings. Even if you need to take a day off, do it. It will tell you a LOT more about how things are between you two.
RandomMember
6 years ago
Not enough detail in the original post. So hard to understand her intentions.
Kirby06
6 years ago
Haha, story for kindle would be hilarious. Would help support SC profit. Joking aside, it's all a fantasy guys, I know.

I am just enjoying the fun. Thanks again for the feedback and funny posts.
BN1ce
6 years ago
“She told me she would have by now, but is afraid that her ex will kill himself if she does. He is not all there and should really be in the hospital.

I got a couple dances from her again and said I would be down for VIP later and she happily agreed.“ this made me laugh so hard lol . Not too upset about the por ex huh? Hahaha

can’t hurt to test the waters with a reg date offer just keep your expectations in check
RandomMember
6 years ago
The age difference if fine, @Kirby, and she might be interested in you. Ask her on a few (unpaid) vanilla dates and she'll accept if she's interested.
Kirby06
6 years ago
BN1ce,

The ex is the big reason I am hesitant on the OTC. Tempting for sure, but ultimately not worth that shit. Assuming she is running the game with him and it turns into a mugging or something worse.

Mental health is no fucking joke and I want no part of that.

Papi_Chulo
6 years ago
As I mentioned, 99 times out of 100 it's smoke-and-mirrors - and even if it is genuine, the avg PL is better-off a stripper not being into him - most guys, especially inexperienced SCers, can't hang w/ the stripper lifestyle and don't know what they're in for and they go at it w/ their civvie-hat on which is usually the wrong hat to wear in these situations.

Strippers are often a different-animal one is dealing w/ and one usually needs a different set of skills and experiences when dealing w/ strippers than when dealing w/ civilians which is what most guys are used to.

if you want a "conventional relationship", 99 times out of 100 one will not find that via a strip-club - as long as one goes in with eyes-wide-open and is well-aware of the pitfalls, then it may be worthwhile doing it at some-level.
Kirby06
6 years ago
Saw your first comment Papi,

Your wisdom is enlightening. I was just enjoying the ride. The whole purpose of the post was because this was the first stripper that did this with me.

Way different from the other ones I talked with during my trips since I have it as a business and fun mindset. All the ones I talked to asked for business up front and hit me with the classic drug and child stories. This was the first one that hit me with some of those IOIs and it left me skeptical. Again, I am for fun. If she wants to talk and have fun, cool. If relationship, that's a whole different ball game to be exercised with extreme caution.
flagooner
6 years ago
Okay I went back and read the thread.

@25, you saw the fishsticks similarity too I see.

Some of the guys on here have become jaded over the years because they aren't fortunate enough to have experienced what you are getting.

Enjoy it, the ride can be bumpy with a lot of drama, but you will have memories and stories to last a lifetime.

My final advice... Jared's is way overpriced, check out the International Diamond Exchange.
Kirby06
6 years ago
Flagooner,

Thanks for the comment man. I am usually open minded but never neglect common sense.

Jared's? Nah, I would do a ringpop.
ppwh
6 years ago
My guess is that her intention is to enjoy your money and attention for as long as they last. If she had any other intention, she would be ghosting her boyfriend rather than making excuses to you about why she isn't leaving him.

I have never heard a story about a stripper sticking around with a RIL with no money changing hands because she was worried he might kill himself if she broke it off with him.
Kirby06
6 years ago
Ppwh,

Thanks for the comment. Figured as much, just enjoying the ride. I told her what I would do in her place, but said it was ultimately her decision and left it at that.
grand1511
6 years ago
If you're going into law enforcement you'll need to crank up your skepticism.
Lone_Wolf
6 years ago
OP can you pull 8's in the civie world? If not you are probably being histled. Once money changes hands with these honeys they see the pl with few exceptions.
Kirby06
6 years ago
Thanks for the comment, grand.

Lone_Wolf
6 years ago
Correction: hustled and ATM
Kirby06
6 years ago
I have had my moments, Lone Wolf.

Pulled a couple 8s in my eyes in civilian life. Perception is everyone's own.

Appreciate the comment.
JohnSmith69
6 years ago
Your problem is that you are treating a sex worker like a civilian woman. She does things to act like a civilian woman but it’s all an act. It’s designed to separate you from your money.

She sounds like she has a good long term hustle. But that’s all it is — hustle. When she does shit that makes you wonder (like wanting to play golf with you), that is also her hustle. You are her customer and everything she does is designed to get more of your money in the long term.

If this was me I would tell her that what I want is an otc date with sex. Never accept vague promise like “we will see where it goes.” That just means that she will keep demanding more money for every little thing you ask for. In the end you’ll be out hundreds of dollars and likely get nothing more than blue balls. Either she does what you want or you stop paying her. If you can’t do this then you aren’t ready to play with strippers.
Papi_Chulo
6 years ago
"... My guess is that her intention is to enjoy your money and attention for as long as they last ..."

Many of these girls go thru custies like Juice goes thru buckets of KFC - they usually already know from experience that the avg straight-laced guy won't last long with them so they get what they can out of it - not saying that there aren't exceptions, but they are usually just that.
Icey
6 years ago
My advice is going to be different.

1- Money is these girls' main motive. Whether she uses you for it or not, its something she adores and doesn't understand the full value of. So you will spend money on her regardless of whether she's using you or not.

2- The main thing is if she makes an effort to see you OTC. If she uses dates to get you ITC, its fake. If she makes the effort to just see you OTC its a good sign.

3- Treat her like any other woman, dont make a big deal out of her job. Dont try to rescue her. Don't mention quitting.

4- You really don't know if she's single or if you're her side nigga. Dont worry about it. Do your best to make her happy when she's with you. When you text or see her, bring up shit you do together, things that made her happy. Bringing up memories you make with her and reminding her how she feels will fuck with her head. Cheating isnt something you do to someone, its also something you do with someone. No reason you cant be Mr Steal Yo Bitch. Be perfect for her, and then do shit like ignoring her, or let her know you have bitches on the side.
Smalltowncpl
6 years ago
I really hate to tell you this but she is playing you. Yes you might have things in common but the reality is that she wants your money and will say anything to make you think or feel otherwise. Enjoy playing with her but don't get to close. This only ends bad for you if you get attached.
Icey
6 years ago
if its all just in the club, its a fantasy shes selling you.
Papi_Chulo
6 years ago
Phatboy sounds like stripper BF material - don't give a fuck

:)
Kirby06
6 years ago
Appreciate the comments again guys. Like I said, I really wasn't buying it from the get go. I was just enjoying the time with her.

Just brought it up because that was the first time it happened. Thanks for the insight!
Papi_Chulo
6 years ago
@Kirby

When a thread is started, no telling when it will end - plus many of the posts are not necessarily directed at you but more of TUSCLers just wanting/liking to post their opinions on a particular matter.

BTW - you can disable email-notifications via your TUSCL account setting so your email is not getting blasted from all the responses.
Kirby06
6 years ago
Papi,

Thanks man, appreciate it. I just try to answer those who I felt contributed to let them know I took it to mind. Just like I did for yours.

BTW, thanks for the note on the email notifications. Got spammed to bejesus and back.

Is there a way to close the thread after you felt it's been answered?
ppwh
6 years ago
> Is there a way to close the thread after you felt it's been answered?

No, this is the part where the question has largely been answered and we start projecting every negative experience we have had with a stripper onto the one you're asking the question about.

We're actually all part of her hustle to make you think to yourself that it's not really possible for her to be as bad as TUSCL is saying. But be warned, she is really just angling for the big score from a guy with a modest income potential!
GACA
6 years ago
Nope, once Pandora's Box is open can't shut it. Welcome to the the shit show :)
Tits510
6 years ago
As a fellow newb, I also appreciate the very solid advice here. I could never enjoy an OTC. I would constantly be questioning her motive every step of the way.
abqspencer
6 years ago
Just ask her. Say "some random turds on an interweb forum about strip clubs said you aren't being real with me...are you?"
Papi_Chulo
6 years ago
^ for the SC vets, OTC is usually P4P (pay for play) and usually involves sex, it's not meant to be "a real date", just a slightly different version of ITC
Tits510
6 years ago
Thanks for the clarification Papi.
PaulDrake
6 years ago
@Kirby06 - I think she really likes you as a customer and maybe as a person but she is not into you romantically. I am however not as jaded as some here to think this is a long term con. There are a lot of things she is saying to you that she might say really casually without much thought, however to you they have a big effect:

1) Telling you about her BF - A lot of strippers have terrible BFs and aren't shy about talking about them. Doesn't mean she loves you.
2) Telling you she wants to go golfing - It is perfectly normal in casual conversation to talk about plans that will probably never actually happen.
3) Venting about other customers - Strippers vent to people they are comfortable around.

Basically a lot of what she is saying you are reading deeper meaning into. You want to be in love with her and have her love you. You are already getting physical affection and emotional affirmation from her so it can be easy to read into everything else she is saying.

I really don't think it is an actual con. This is just what strippers do. She is making you feel comfortable, giving you emotional affirmation, connection to another person, and the obvious physical affection.

If you are still having trouble accepting that she is not interested in you romantically think about this, she said she wishes she could give you dances for free right? She totally can do that...
Icey
6 years ago
Do your best to make her happy when she's with you. When you text or see her, bring up shit you do together, things that made her happy. Bringing up memories you make with her and reminding her how she feels will fuck with her head. Cheating isnt something you do to someone, its also something you do with someone. No reason you cant be Mr Steal Yo Bitch. Be perfect for her, and then do shit like ignoring her, or let her know you have bitches on the side. Spend money on her but never mention it. The way you become a customer isnt by just spending money, its when you make it about the money and treat it like a financial transaction. Just slip her bills for nothing while you enjoy your time with her. If she wont go out with you after that, its a lost cause. If she does go out, just treat her like a normal bitch, forget about anything that happened in the club.
flagooner
6 years ago
Look at the bright side.

If you start dating her you can leech off of her and spend all day smoking pot, playing video games, and learning to play bass without getting nagged at.
Icey
6 years ago
or you have a ride or die bitch who will support you in your hustle
Icey
6 years ago
and nothing wrong with sharing if youre both bringing shit to the table
ATACdawg
6 years ago
By all means, arrange a golf date with her. If she follows through (pun intended :-)), count her strokes very carefully and compare them to the results on her card.

If they match, it will mean two things:

1. She is smart enough to keep a correct count, and

2. She is being absolutely honest with you, and you can trust her with your balls! ;-D
SirLapdancealot
6 years ago
@ATACdawg that's a hole-in-one post.
HungryGiraffe
6 years ago
Fun thread, and well-written too.

You got great advice from Cashman1234 and GACA. Yeah, you’re being played young fella.

Spread your wings and spend your 26-yo-level of disposable entertainment funds on a mixture of chicks, including civvies.
Icey
6 years ago
Dont get jaded though, take my advice and go for it
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