Spending

I have nothing constructive to say other than.....The day I STOP seeing them, and Escorts for the matter, as people and as mere objects is the day I need to check myself and quit partaking. Just my opinion.

i probably let my guard and being chatting them up too much. i need to go back to my original buisness model---> I am an ATM and Strippers are wet holes

For one thing that stripper isn’t going dutch on anything. They pay for EVERYTHING with the boyfriends. Boyfriends occasionally deal drugs but usually are at home playing video games.

When it comes to things like that life just isn’t fair. I never say I’m married (just say I’m divorced) to a stripper and they almost always say “they don’t have a boyfriend.” Yes, most of the time we both know we are lying to each other but why ruin the fantasy. I suggest you do the same as well. You’ll have a better time.

That is an interesting question.

Maybe the answer is if you look at the relationships the dancers have with their bf’s.

Dancers could date guys who value them - but they generally choose not to. It might be due to them placing low value on themselves - and ending up with low quality men as bf’s.

The resulting question I’d have is - If a dancer doesn’t value herself - how can you think of her as more than just a filthy sex object?

errr... I see them as people because I'm not sociopathic. I don't know. I'm not sure I'd be into it if I looked at a dancer and saw a sex doll that poops. So, I guess I'm not on board with your end goal.

That said, I draw some pretty vivid lines that can't be crossed, and I view the relationship as more familiar than personal. I don't mind if they talk to me about their lives, but they know I'm not going to involve myself in their drama. They also know that their Jedi sob story tricks won't magically open my wallet.

I know more than a few people (acquaintances) outside the strip club scene who make bad/nonsensical life decisions, and I don't feel compelled to figure them out. There's something about being physically intimate with a person that makes a lot of guys feel obligated to understand them, even if that person is really only an acquaintance.

I think it's unhealthy to view any person as an object, but it's perfectly okay to limit your personal involvement.

Well said Ishmael.

I might resemble a sociopath. Now - if being a sociopath would get me one of those handicapped tags - so I could park in the front row!

I try as much as I can to avoid three things in my mentality when in a strip club. First, don’t forget she’s a person just trying to make her way through life, as am I. I try to remember I’m dealing with someone’s sister, daughter, mother, friend and so forth. Second, don’t go Captain Save-a-hoe. Her life is beyond my control plus I’m best off not getting caught up in it. Third, don’t go RIL. She is at work. She is selling, I am buying. It’s easy to lose sight of any of those three things but I try to keep them in mind.

@cashman & Shailyn...after a while these hoes will give you a peek of their personal lives on faceCrap and InstaHoe, and it fucken kills the fantasy. This only happens after i get to know them.

"If a dancer doesn’t value herself - how can you think of her as more than just a filthy sex object" i think strippers value themselves for leveraging their time and looks. they have an opportunity to make $40 in 7 minutes, who else can say that. my problem is me paying $40 for 2 lap dances when they dont do shit. i feel like a dumbass afterwards because ive seen their SOs.

Its best i dont get too personal like CIM said, when in reality all they did was show me pictures.

No offense - but you might be thinking about things too much. Maybe stay away from stripper social media. Just enjoy the grind. Try to not think about where your money might go.

^^^none taken, true

If the money you are spending is the thing that bothers you most, see an escort. That experience will be for a set price but will give you a better idea of the value of your clubbing. Yes, it’s not exactly the same thing but it can give some perspective. Overall, I think it’s perspective you are looking for.

What fantasy are they killing when you see Facebook? That they're available and might date you? Honestly curious.

If it's that they don't make logical or good decisions, then yes, don't get involved, that's a majority of what you're gonna see.

I don’t think of anyone as a filthy sex object, that’s the quickest way to start becoming a jackass. I treat everyone with the respect that they treat me and if they don’t act in a way that I’m comfortable with I don’t participate with them.
For me it’s simple, I’m looking for a good time that’s all, nothing more, I’ll spend a bit of money, that’s all. I won’t let anybody turn me into something I don’t like.

I look at all the dancers as regular people and treat them accordingly. Treating people well is more about who YOU are and not who they are. The two things I don't do is express interest in their personal lives because most have kids, all have relationships and I hate my job at $275.00 and hour, so why would I give anyone advice for free, let alone someone I am going to pay. The other thing I never do is contact or allow a dancer to contact me OTC. Strip clubs are just stepped up bars and on a day like yesterday where I went to 4 clubs and found zero interesting dancers I spent less than 50 dollars and spent my day watching basketball and betting horses through nyra. Love being in a club where I am well known enough to bring in my laptop.

@houjack...i am not looking to date, im happily married. i would try though if i wasnt. After i see their pix, and knowing they fuck their SO for free and sober, they should be doing a lot more for $40, instead of giving me a tamed lapper. it probably got too personsal with the hoes.

Some hoes are just easy to talk to and its enjoyable.

This is an interesting topic. I totally went off the deep end involving myself in my ATF's life. Yes I was Sir Save-A-Ho times 10 and it appears I accomplished that.
However it cost me far more than I logically should have spent & I can't let that happen again. However when looking for intimacy as well as sex I find the same thing happening. I don't want to view her as an object but find myself checking her out on FB & Instagram. My CF is drug free, has no regular BF & is saving money. On FB I saw her on a "date" with a married guy who owns a semi-pro sports team. I don't know her well enough to find out if this was a date or just a passing occurance and I need to tell myself that it's none of my business. There's no need for me to involve myself in her life beyond the club. Lesson learned.

@salty... I think you meant to refer to me as 'CMI'. Or, you really didn't care for my feedback...

#acronymfail

^^^lol...yeah i was refering to you as CMI

This discussion reminds me of a discussion from a few weeks ago. A pl posted an Instagram photo of a dancer from Follies. The photo was ok. But I couldn’t just enjoy the photo - and let it rest. I went through the Instagram stream and saw lots of questionable photo choices the girl had made.

It was fine - as I had no history with her. It may have ruined the charade - if I was actually interested in the girl.

There are a lot of ways to provide value to one another. One is showing genuine caring for the dancer. As in, telling her about what to do when one of her tires is wobbling or what herbal tea would help with that one thing that has been bothering her. Stuff like that has always worked better for me than an extra $500. If you have become fixated on a single way you aren't receiving value, you might be doing it wrong.

@Cashman

IMO most strippers date guys that will date them and put up with their often crazy/eratic lifestyle - i.e. most guys that have their shit together are not stripper BFs or at least not for very long

I think Papi_Chulo might be onto something. Back in the day when I was inactive at strip clubs, I gave a stripper a ride to her friend's house, where it was interminable boringness. She went from a pain to completely amazing right after that, though. I have never smoked crack, but I think of strippers as freebase femininity.

A PL spends money on strippers. A stripper spends the PL's money on her boyfriend.

@Papi - you said it much better than I was able to. It would be close to impossible for most guys to deal with that sort of craziness for any length of time.

@jackslash That’s the circle of life from the Lion King ;)

Yes it is true that dancers are not objects. One's behavior and/or job does not define them as a person.

I did think it was interesting how much you are spending at SCs. For the past year, you've been going to a SC every week or bi-weekly, spending anywhere from $300-700/visit. Your entertainment budget is quite high

^it started off at 7 last year then 5 for a few months and im down to 300. my visits are going down too this year. mainly because i started to value my money more after getting to know them (hoes). last year i felt that guys that spend 40 - 80 were chumps. now its like, hoe better appreciate the 60 i spend on her.

Not sure why everyone is tip-toeing around it, but...you got issues, man. And your premise is completely nonsensical. You're paying a person for a service. What that person does with the money afterwards is irrelevant, and not something you can dictate either.

No offense, tho.

SaltyNutz, I concur.

And Shailynn, you’re a genius With that approach. I bet you’ve honed it well.

@doug...i dont care what she does w/ the money. she can smoke crack with it if she wanted to. services rendered do not equal value of payment received, especially when you take a look at their personal lives. a picture is worth 1000 words. in my personal opinion i should be getting a lot more for 80 dollars. i need to go back to objectifying them. Its just a turn off, when i see their social media and see the guys that dont need to pay for her company. i feel like a dumbass, okay.

@Salty maybe you should be a little more discriminating about who you spend money on. Find a woman that appreciates what you do for her and you’ll feel better about yourself.

Strip clubs are obviously not a good way to regularly meet sexual needs. Once you understand this, you know that you don't need to visit them very often.

And buying dances is always a chumps game. Front room makeout session, then when it is time for your own pants to come down, you invite her to the back room. Then take her home with you and continue to see her regularly.

SJG

Hmm, I was just going on your original post about how much you didn't like strippers spending money on their BFs, but okay, now you don't care about that.

What you do care about is how strippers spend their personal lives when they're off the clock and outside the club. And you can't handle that other guys dont need to pay for her company. Get over yourself, man.

No offense.

^^^^ Unattached, No BF, No Pimp girls are going to be better.

SJG

Right. Salty should find a stripper that has sworn herself to celibacy

^^^youre right, i shouldnt care. Im sharing too much when i go to the club

Just like many custies have a life and S.O. outside the club, one needs to be comfortable w/ the dancers having theirs no-matter what that life is and who their S.O. is.


I think the only thing we should worry about is how she treats us when she's with us; everything else is out of our control and nor worth dwelling on - these days most things that strippers tell me goes in one PL-ear and out the other; I avoid doing too much intellectual/emotional crunching on it - IME the more I step into stripperville, the more I usually regret-it - but then again I'm one that does not handle drama well thus I stay away from getting too into a stripper's life.

If you don’t want to see or know that stuff, don’t look at their social media, or don’t try to know them too well.

PC said "the more I step into stripperville, the more I usually regret-it"

more of a business mindset when i go in. the more i talk, the more likely i get caught up with stupid shit like this.

I've been away from strip clubs so long, wondering if anyone there will recognize me whenever I go back. Might be all new people.

@Salty.Nutz wrote, “i gotten to know the hoes, and i have seen pix of their SO, and it fucks with my head … knowing their BFs smash for free … probably go dutch when they go out on dates, probably split the rent … $40 in 7 minutes. my problem is me paying $40 for 2 lap dances when they dont do shit. i feel like a dumbass afterwards because ive seen their SOs. knowing they fuck their SO for free and sober, they should be doing a lot more for $40, instead of giving me a tamed lapper. last year i felt that guys that spend 40 - 80 were chumps. now its like, hoe better appreciate the 60 i spend on her. See the guys that dont need to pay for her company. i feel like a dumbass, okay”

^^^I don’t really tend to care nor dwell on what other guys spend. It’s like this. As a man when I buy anything else, I’m just concerned about getting a good product or service and paying a fair price. That’s it. Did I pay a fair price? Do I value what I bought? Not did I pay the lowest price. Did I pay a fair price? The rest is noise.


Also with your second post:

@Salty.Nutz wrote, “i probably let my guard and being chatting them up too much. i need to go back to my original business model---> I am an ATM and Strippers are wet holes”

^^^Why the whole madonna-whore complex? Why not just see dancers as AWESOME people, who share their sexiness with us, while working for tips? I ALWAYS see the dancers as PEOPLE treat them as PEOPLE and with respect.

@.Salty, I think the madonna-whore complex is your problem. And I think knowing that some guys spend less on her or even that they spend nothing at all, and she accepts that, IS your problem. Except it isn’t your problem. Nor does it mean you’re a chump or that you didn’t get a fair exchange and fair value. Stop thinking that you aren’t getting the best deal or that some guy is paying less than you.

@orionsmith, most of my clubbing life has been visits that are so far apart in time, that I rarely ever see the same dancer more than once. Last month, I went back to my home club after a year and a half and the only person I recognized was the DJ. Every single dancer and waitress was new to me. I personally think the whole being-a-regular thing or having a CF or ATF thing is overblown on Tuscl. It doesn’t matter to me.

Getting to know them as people is part of the *attraction* for me. I’m not interested in interacting with a talking sex toy.

@Dominc77, i do not have a madonna-whore complex. i view them as whores, they have low standards outside the club, that i feel 80 dollars should get me a better value knowing the broke company they keep otc. i dont know shit about their SO but they look like losers to me when i see pictures.

Seems like you should consider not buying dances or as many dances or at least not without getting the mileage or sex that you want out of them.

You might also try asking them to bang for free. I used to have a roommate / SC running buddy who used to do just that -- smash stripper pussy for free.