So I've been going to see my CF (almost ATF status) for two years. Tonight I spent $400 on her and as I was paying, I took too much money out of my wallet so I put the rest back in. At that point she asked me for an extra $50 and I said no. (Like I said earlier, I had already spent $400 on her). Then she turned into a spoiled brat and gave me attitude and walked off without even saying bye to me. Should I drop officially her?
Dancers are flaky - I've had dancers dis me on a visit and rock my world on the next - they also often have issues in their personal lives that at times affects their attitude at the club (it shouldn't but it does).
I used to blackball dancers that would not treat me right on a particular visit; but these days I let most SS slide (dealing w/ dancers means often times having to deal w/ some SS).
If it's been a pattern of mistreatment by her; then give her the cold shoulder for a while - if it was just this latest visit then I would pretend like nothing happened the next time I see her and let her redeem herself - but if she continues w/ SS then I put them on a stripper timeout and often times they "sweeten up" after a couple of visits of the cold shoulder and not getting w/ her.
But - an in anything, communication is key - you shouldn't be surprised she acted that way, disappointed yes, surprised no - next time you see her if the issue comes up, just communicate to her that you are paying her well and if she's does not think the same then she's free to move-on.
My ATF felt entitled to whatever money I had. It's a function of their perception that we have it all and she has nothing. Take a break, tell her why, and let the cards lie as they fall.
As the younger, pimp version of Will Ferrell's character in The Other Guys famously said, "Gator don't play no shit."
Whether you are a CF or a 1 time romp in the VIP, my limit with dancers is I pay the agreed upon amount for services rendered. Sometimes I will throw in a little extra, but that's purely my perrogative if I do. Once she thinks she's entitled to penny more that is unearned, that's crossing a line. Like other's have said, she's one fish in the stripper sea. Sitting out a session or two may help to remind her that she's not entitled to anything and needs to earn what she gets paid.
She'll still be your top stripper, but only as long as she remembers its still a business relationship and you won't be had by her.
Also - despite the tough-exterior w/ many strippers, many of them are actually pretty-sensitive and and also insecure, even if they been dancing for a good-while; it's kinda a chick-thing and not just a stripper-thing - i.e. many of these girls take a guy not spending extra on them as they (dancer) sorta not being good-enough and deserving of it; i.e. sorta like a shot against her - she could have felt that you'd be happy to tip her an extra $50 and when you didn't perhaps she felt you didn't think highly enough of her - or she could have most-likely just been being greedy; but that may not be the only reason - best to keep it positive until being nice does not work - i.e tell her that you have bills to pay and financial responsibilities and have a budget you need to stick to; so it comes off as it not being her not deserving extra-$$$ - I'm not trying absolve her, just looking at it from a non-obvious angle.
“Also - despite the tough-exterior w/ many strippers, many of them are actually pretty-sensitive and and also insecure, even if they been dancing for a good-while; it's kinda a chick-thing and not just a stripper-thing -”
it might sound silly, but I tend to forget women are insecure because they’re so beautiful to me
Papi might be on a bit higher plane of enlightenment than me, but I agree with the overall sentiment that if this is a one-time thing, well, women are volatile in general, strippers are more volatile than most women, and sometimes I go back and find she's better than ever. On the other hand, I definitely have a low tolerance for taking nonsense; if I'm not getting the experience I want, no hard feelings, but I'm gone
If this were a one-time thing, there's a chance I'd bring it up in text messaging later; but I would DEFINITELY take a little time off from her so I can approach her without a bad attitude next time, to give her another chance. If there's a second bad experience, I'm moving on.
When I move on from an ATF, I typically simply stop texting her to set up appointments in advance. I do NOT avoid the club in order to avoid her -- I still go to the club. I do NOT purposely go on a day she's working, to try to make her jealous. I do NOT purposely go on a day she's not working, either. I just go whenever I feel like, without an appointment with my ATF; if she's there, hug, smile, "I'm here to see Porsche today, but nice to see you!" or "I feel like tipping at stage and meeting some of the new girls, but nice to see you!". And that's that.
Well - part of the reason I tend not to sweat SS too-much is b/c I'm not into faves although there are dancers I will get dances w/ at a particular club on different visits but not necessarily all visits to that club - i.e. I'm not too-vested in any one dancer but in the past still got a bit bent out of PL-shape if a dancer didn't treat me right
There is a reason she is your fav and you feel fine spending so much coin on her. I wouldn't throw out the baby with the bath water. Weigh the pros and cons before burning any bridges.
I'm a favs guy, but this is the reason I spend about half my visit sampling the buffet line. It's always good to have a couple of other dancers sitting on the bench, fully primed waiting to step up to bat.
I have been having issues with my CF too.
There have been a few pre-planned visits that, when I arrived she was "busy" and I only got to see her for a few minutes before I had to leave. Did not spend any money on her on those trips.
I don't mind waiting for 10-20 minutes for her, but not 2 hours.
Been spending my time and money on a new girl on my last few visits.
My CF is one of the most popular girls on day shift, and I have a lot of fun with her, but it is getting frustrating.
I will still send time with her, but she has to come to me, and no more pre-planned visits.
Drop her. I see some guys here going through mental gymnastics to justify her behavior, but at the end of the day there is no excuse for a girl who gives you grief when you paid her $400 just because you won't tip her an extra $50. I don't need to know why a girl feels self entitled - the fact that she does is enough for me. Even if she manages to hide it the next time, sooner or later it will rear its ugly head again, probably at a really inconvenient time to boot. There are way too many girls who will take your money with a smile and a thank you to deal with nonsense like that.
You did the right thing. You said no. That’s important - as you don’t want the dancer to think you are weak.
She acted improperly - and she needs to be put in her place. As has been said above - ignore her on your next club visit. Spend your money on a dancer who shows you appreciation. The other dancer will feel the pain where it matters - as she won’t get your $$$.
The most effective way to discipline bad dancer behavior is by not spending.
I would at least take a break from her and let her spend some time in the corner. If you find a better dancer during your break, then good for you. If not, then hopefully you can re-engage with her minus the bad behavior.
The pickings get pretty slim if you write off every dancer who feels unjustifiable entitlement to your cash. The deciding factor is often how well they hide it and for how long.
^ exactly - It's not as if the other dancers are gonna be trouble-free and this one is the bad apple - after 2 years it may be time to move on (dancers also get tired of regulars), but not necessarily
Just to re-iterate, I don't disagree with the guys who are saying "prepare to get rid of her". It is certainly my experience that as an ATF relationship goes on, both customer and stripper are at risk of developing a greater sense of entitlement, and when it's the stripper doing so, that's when I end it. But, this seems to be a case of the stripper having one obnoxious night -- not a pattern, as far as OP has said, just a girl who has delivered for 2 years straight having a bad night. Too much history to throw the whole thing away without seeing her again, at least for me.
On the other hand, maybe Jigman has been noticing problems for a while, subconsciously unhappy about it, which is why one bad behavior by her triggers this post -- it's really the culmination of a pattern of increasingly bad behavior rather than one-off anomaly?
To add a little more....I sometimes carry a considerable of money around and I know if a CF sees that she's going to think I could pay her more. So I make sure I keep like 100-200 in the left side of my wallet, and another 300-500 folder and unseen in the right side of my wallet...in my trunk or elsewhere I keep my working capital for trading which can be 1,000 - 20,000 USD...I make damn sure they are unaware of that and where it is.
Your money, but its too much trouble just to buy LD. She made 400 in a few hours. Attorneys/Doctors dont bring in that much bread. if shes getting too comfortable, this CF has ran its course. your relationship has peaked and now shes seeing how much she can get away with. youre better off spending those 400 on new girls that wont disrespect you. you arent married or in a relationship with this hoe.
It IS worth considering the opportunity cost, too, now that Salty mentions it. In this area, the hottest dayshift girl would cream her g-string for a once-a-week $400 regular, and at least at first, would probably ensure you are delighted. If ATF isn't delighting you as much as a new girl would...
Thanks for the input everyone. I think I'm going to end it. This isn't the first time she has acted like a spoiled brat when she didn't get her way. She's in her late 20's and too old to be pulling this crap anyway.
-->"This isn't the first time she has acted like a spoiled brat when she didn't get her way."
lol ... I think if you'd said that up front, this would have been an entirely different thread. If it's part of a pattern, the conversation would have been nearly unanimous to give her the ol' heave-ho (Papi is operating on a whole 'nother level so he might have counseled meditation and a sweat lodge)
I'm not the OP sorry.....and I'm personally on hiatus from SC's for now...just reliving some of the fun through you guys...If I'm lucky I'll get to go to another club in 6 months to a year...right now I'm banned by the wife
@max_starr
cool, your comment was an incomplete thought and confusing. you say drop her and then
"To add a little more....I sometimes carry a considerable of money around and I know if a CF sees that she's going to think I could pay her more. So I make sure I keep like..."
37 comments
I used to blackball dancers that would not treat me right on a particular visit; but these days I let most SS slide (dealing w/ dancers means often times having to deal w/ some SS).
If it's been a pattern of mistreatment by her; then give her the cold shoulder for a while - if it was just this latest visit then I would pretend like nothing happened the next time I see her and let her redeem herself - but if she continues w/ SS then I put them on a stripper timeout and often times they "sweeten up" after a couple of visits of the cold shoulder and not getting w/ her.
But - an in anything, communication is key - you shouldn't be surprised she acted that way, disappointed yes, surprised no - next time you see her if the issue comes up, just communicate to her that you are paying her well and if she's does not think the same then she's free to move-on.
Whether you are a CF or a 1 time romp in the VIP, my limit with dancers is I pay the agreed upon amount for services rendered. Sometimes I will throw in a little extra, but that's purely my perrogative if I do. Once she thinks she's entitled to penny more that is unearned, that's crossing a line. Like other's have said, she's one fish in the stripper sea. Sitting out a session or two may help to remind her that she's not entitled to anything and needs to earn what she gets paid.
She'll still be your top stripper, but only as long as she remembers its still a business relationship and you won't be had by her.
it might sound silly, but I tend to forget women are insecure because they’re so beautiful to me
If this were a one-time thing, there's a chance I'd bring it up in text messaging later; but I would DEFINITELY take a little time off from her so I can approach her without a bad attitude next time, to give her another chance. If there's a second bad experience, I'm moving on.
When I move on from an ATF, I typically simply stop texting her to set up appointments in advance. I do NOT avoid the club in order to avoid her -- I still go to the club. I do NOT purposely go on a day she's working, to try to make her jealous. I do NOT purposely go on a day she's not working, either. I just go whenever I feel like, without an appointment with my ATF; if she's there, hug, smile, "I'm here to see Porsche today, but nice to see you!" or "I feel like tipping at stage and meeting some of the new girls, but nice to see you!". And that's that.
Might?
Hmm?
.
There is a reason she is your fav and you feel fine spending so much coin on her. I wouldn't throw out the baby with the bath water. Weigh the pros and cons before burning any bridges.
I'm a favs guy, but this is the reason I spend about half my visit sampling the buffet line. It's always good to have a couple of other dancers sitting on the bench, fully primed waiting to step up to bat.
There have been a few pre-planned visits that, when I arrived she was "busy" and I only got to see her for a few minutes before I had to leave. Did not spend any money on her on those trips.
I don't mind waiting for 10-20 minutes for her, but not 2 hours.
Been spending my time and money on a new girl on my last few visits.
My CF is one of the most popular girls on day shift, and I have a lot of fun with her, but it is getting frustrating.
I will still send time with her, but she has to come to me, and no more pre-planned visits.
She acted improperly - and she needs to be put in her place. As has been said above - ignore her on your next club visit. Spend your money on a dancer who shows you appreciation. The other dancer will feel the pain where it matters - as she won’t get your $$$.
The most effective way to discipline bad dancer behavior is by not spending.
The pickings get pretty slim if you write off every dancer who feels unjustifiable entitlement to your cash. The deciding factor is often how well they hide it and for how long.
It really depends on how your options look.
On the other hand, maybe Jigman has been noticing problems for a while, subconsciously unhappy about it, which is why one bad behavior by her triggers this post -- it's really the culmination of a pattern of increasingly bad behavior rather than one-off anomaly?
lol ... I think if you'd said that up front, this would have been an entirely different thread. If it's part of a pattern, the conversation would have been nearly unanimous to give her the ol' heave-ho (Papi is operating on a whole 'nother level so he might have counseled meditation and a sweat lodge)
But yeah you're right
cool, your comment was an incomplete thought and confusing. you say drop her and then
"To add a little more....I sometimes carry a considerable of money around and I know if a CF sees that she's going to think I could pay her more. So I make sure I keep like..."
Heres a link that can help you organize your thoughts in writing a little better:
www.readingrockets.org/teaching/reading-…