To leave or not to leave
Undecided
Illinois
I have been a fan of this site for so many weeks now. I need an advice from a lot of members. In January my husband drop the bomb on me that he has been seeing a stripper since October and wants an open marriage. Didn’t even know that term until I started to google it. Anyway it was like giving him permission to cheat. Married for 20 years. He has also confessed that he has been cheating on me for the last 10 years with hookers and showed me 40 videos of himself fucking different women. The CF is 23 has 2 little girls ages 4 and 3 and he is 46. He mentioned since the girls are in custody (lost custody because of her line of work to her ex bf parents)
he is happy that the girls will not be a part of his life if they stay together b/c at this point she is only on visitation process. He gives her at least $900 a week and has spent so many $$$ on her. He even buys her bikinis and thongs from eBay. He would not however help my older son in college pay for his tuition and have said that my son is accountable for the loan since he chose an expensive school. Since he gives his CF $900 a week I asked that he gives me $1000 a month which he reluctantly did with protest each month. The CF constantly tells him that she needs money for rent, car trouble, food allowance and not making the quota to pay the club etc. The CF has bailed out on their date for about 4 times already. Over the weekend he told me he wants to stop seeing her and cried because he wants her so bad but can’t get what he wants and if he does see her he is going to pay me $1000 but as fate would have it he didn’t have work Mon and Tue. Tuesday at noon she texted him and he went nuts so Wed he told me he wants to see her but does not want to pay the 1 k to me. Yesterday pm I came home early and saw him all dolled up and ready to go to HB SC and was going ballistic I simply said that I was helping him not to be a junkie and that he is into withdrawal process so naturally it hurts. He said he doesn’t care but wants to see her so bad he even told me he cried on her last week because he really wants to make love to her (words he used to her) not have sex but yo make love. The CF keeps sending him some pics so he kisses the pics before He goes to sleep with the song “Perfect” by Ed Sheeran he said that was the song most of the time when the DJ plays w/e he gets a LD with her. He told me that he has found his perfect love, they have a connection and willing to go and move out with her. He said that the only problem with is his junk might not go up or keep up because nowadays he has ED Erectile Dysfunction. Anyway he said he doesn’t want a divorce because we have a history and 2 sons together. Youngest son in high school. Anyway he has been in and out of the relationship and has been blaming me b/c he said I worked a lot as I have 3 jobs. My other 2 part time jobs are per project which I can do at home so I am home and working on these projects after I come from my full time job. His work is not steady so I tried to help with the bills. H/e even if he is laid off our tax returns always comes out high because of him. He is a Union electrician. I have quit the other 2 jobs and have been spending time with him but most of the time it’s like spending time with someone who is always tuned out and looking at his phone for a text from CF. The sex has been very good lately btw. He also has been harsh verbally with my youngest son in HS. Here is my dilemma he is on heart medication and takes 4 pills everyday. He also takes the blue pill I am afraid that he will die and succumb to a heart attack if this happen and I love him but who will take care of him when this happen, he already had 3 Emergency Room episodes within the last 2 years. I am willing to look the other way and All my friends said drop him but I can’t as I love him. I was also told that if we divorce I have to give half of the asset as I am the saver and he is the spender. I am worried that he will spend all our money on her CF. I don’t know what to do and I am asking the members for an advice as I am emotionally drained already. I want to hear from men who go to SC and women who stripped what’s their take on it. Currently he gave himself until the end of March meaning if CF doesn’t go out on a date with him he will no longer see her but if she does see him on a date then his SC days with her would not stop. Btw during my 20 year marriage I have been asked at least 5 times by different men if I want to go out with them, simply turn it down with a smile. Should I stay and look the other way or should I go? Please HELP.
he is happy that the girls will not be a part of his life if they stay together b/c at this point she is only on visitation process. He gives her at least $900 a week and has spent so many $$$ on her. He even buys her bikinis and thongs from eBay. He would not however help my older son in college pay for his tuition and have said that my son is accountable for the loan since he chose an expensive school. Since he gives his CF $900 a week I asked that he gives me $1000 a month which he reluctantly did with protest each month. The CF constantly tells him that she needs money for rent, car trouble, food allowance and not making the quota to pay the club etc. The CF has bailed out on their date for about 4 times already. Over the weekend he told me he wants to stop seeing her and cried because he wants her so bad but can’t get what he wants and if he does see her he is going to pay me $1000 but as fate would have it he didn’t have work Mon and Tue. Tuesday at noon she texted him and he went nuts so Wed he told me he wants to see her but does not want to pay the 1 k to me. Yesterday pm I came home early and saw him all dolled up and ready to go to HB SC and was going ballistic I simply said that I was helping him not to be a junkie and that he is into withdrawal process so naturally it hurts. He said he doesn’t care but wants to see her so bad he even told me he cried on her last week because he really wants to make love to her (words he used to her) not have sex but yo make love. The CF keeps sending him some pics so he kisses the pics before He goes to sleep with the song “Perfect” by Ed Sheeran he said that was the song most of the time when the DJ plays w/e he gets a LD with her. He told me that he has found his perfect love, they have a connection and willing to go and move out with her. He said that the only problem with is his junk might not go up or keep up because nowadays he has ED Erectile Dysfunction. Anyway he said he doesn’t want a divorce because we have a history and 2 sons together. Youngest son in high school. Anyway he has been in and out of the relationship and has been blaming me b/c he said I worked a lot as I have 3 jobs. My other 2 part time jobs are per project which I can do at home so I am home and working on these projects after I come from my full time job. His work is not steady so I tried to help with the bills. H/e even if he is laid off our tax returns always comes out high because of him. He is a Union electrician. I have quit the other 2 jobs and have been spending time with him but most of the time it’s like spending time with someone who is always tuned out and looking at his phone for a text from CF. The sex has been very good lately btw. He also has been harsh verbally with my youngest son in HS. Here is my dilemma he is on heart medication and takes 4 pills everyday. He also takes the blue pill I am afraid that he will die and succumb to a heart attack if this happen and I love him but who will take care of him when this happen, he already had 3 Emergency Room episodes within the last 2 years. I am willing to look the other way and All my friends said drop him but I can’t as I love him. I was also told that if we divorce I have to give half of the asset as I am the saver and he is the spender. I am worried that he will spend all our money on her CF. I don’t know what to do and I am asking the members for an advice as I am emotionally drained already. I want to hear from men who go to SC and women who stripped what’s their take on it. Currently he gave himself until the end of March meaning if CF doesn’t go out on a date with him he will no longer see her but if she does see him on a date then his SC days with her would not stop. Btw during my 20 year marriage I have been asked at least 5 times by different men if I want to go out with them, simply turn it down with a smile. Should I stay and look the other way or should I go? Please HELP.
47 comments
If you're legit, then you need an editor.
Your being a 'fan' of this site makes no sense at all, given your long-winded story of woe. So, I think you're a troll.
So it's actually really simple... imagine for a moment that the situation you are in continued for 5 years. Different strippers, different drama but all similar to what you are going through now. How would you decide to act today if you knew that was the way things were going to be?
I am not saying things are going to be that way, I just want to know how you would act if you knew it would be?
flip a coin
@25 -1 not interested
I am for real. In 2 years my hs son will graduate and I will be free from turning his life upside down.
@25 & @flagooner - not interested as well.
Buy a term life policy on him, if you can afford it for 10 years. He should expire by then, and in the meantime you should be able to have an easy time finding sex partners on the side, maybe even a new lover.
Either that, or fuck him in the mouth!
Do you think she will go out on a date with him after bailing out so many times? Or she just wants his $$?
The stripper loves his money, not him.
Follow Meat72's advice about life insurance. You may also want to watch the movie "Double Indemnity."
@PaulDrake - you sound like my dad, in a good way, since I needed that. Only thing is, he is in a better place.
Yes, I would divorce him. I give myself 2 years. Maybe do a post nuptial agreement. Open up my own bank account. What else can I do?
I was unhappy in my own marriage and had a fling. my wife stated she wanted divorced for years...Well, now she wants to make it work so I quit seeing strippers. I'll try to make it work. If it doesn't work, then maybe I'll go to a club once in a while like I used to. I still get calls too from one CF but I ignore her....I felt ignored for years and the attention I got from my stripper friend was mind blowing...but she was also a money vacuum. The relationship wouldn't have worked long-term. He needs to make up his mind what he's going to do and so do you.
@georgmicrodong, @galiziabob, @jackslash thx for the input.
@25 - Stop ✋ your bullying and for once be a descent human being.
Btw he went to AF to get SA but he said he doesn’t like the $$$ demands they require so he is back to his CF.
Your husband is a fool. There’s no kind way to state the truth. He has taken the “bait” from this stripper, and he can’t see things properly. Many guys get involved with strippers. Many love-less men fall deeply in love with strippers. An effective stripper knows how to string a man along - with the hope of his deep feelings being validated.
Your husband is a grown man. He should understand his responsibility to his children. However, I find it odd that you refer to children as yours. Does this mean that these are not his biological offspring?
My advice would be very simple. You should leave him now. He is a fool. He wants to be with a girl who has no feelings for him. He has not matured as a man should. Getting fresh young pussy is no excuse to forget your wife and your children.
Your writing is so poor, I almost thought you said that you were still fucking him. I’m hoping that’s not true. If you are still letting him fuck you - I’d recommend you get an STD test.
If you divorce your husband, I’m confident that you will find another man. Remember, men aren’t complex animals. Men need food, sex, shelter and clothing. They don’t need much emotionally. They don’t like nagging. They like to hear they’ve done a good job at times. That’s it! I also think you will get a decent settlement in your divorce, as you are working hard - and he’s the cheater.
I hope you smarten up - and dump your loser husband.
You're asked him for money even though you say you have three jobs and he can't keep working consistently?
So since this is all just a bad fantasy I say you should stay have a threesome with him and his stripper she can move in get her kid back and you can take care of all them. Problem solved
I will assume this is not a troll.
Whatever you do, step one is consult a lawyer and protect your assets and income. Step two is get counseling. Whever you do, a qualifien therapist will help you deal with this.
If it is, my advice is for you to call Dr. Laura.
If only we had a half-way competent divorce lawyer on this board
But that assumes this isnt a troll.
Stripper is after his money. Not in love with him. He is in love with her.
He will be out in the cold after both of your money is gone. The more he loses, the less you have as well. He wants everything. This situation is not good for you.
I would seek professional counseling for yourself and find a divorce attorney and support group. People can live a long time and spend all the money they have. In a marriage, he's sending money he should be sharing with you and his kids, not a stripper. Well not most of his money. Everyone should be able to enjoy a hobby. I not a fan of open marriages but different strokes for different people. You have to watch out for yourself because if you can't trust others, no one else will. I'd also work on improving job skills and get a better job. A counselor or attorney may be able to give better advise and options of how everything can play out.
I'd want to get out of your situation if I were in it. Good luck. He's got you set up with an allowance that is probably less than you would get with a divorce for child support. I have no idea but a professional might know. A counselor can get info and go over options and scenarios.
Would you be happy if he lived another 5 years and gave the stripper 3000 per month or 36k a year or over 150k over 5 years and he complains every time you get 1k? Prepare a list of possible questions and write it down to ask a counselor and lawyer. Maybe ask if they have any free sessions or look online for support groups and or free help.
On the other hand if you are happy as is, don't know why you are asking here. Maybe you are too tired from working 3 jobs. Can't imagine making a wife work 3 jobs while going out and spending over 3000 a month on just one stripper. I think others are having trouble believing this. Possible troll comments come from this. However the guy making up stories like this is busy making money playing poker now I think. I thought it was funny when he made a fake female troll account one time.
If you are ok with open marriage, then you can find guys online as well. He could have more than one stripper but unlikely if he has ED. ED is an early warning for heart attack risk. I read side effects of some drugs can lead to heart attacks. I would find out what life insurance he has already as part of his job. He should be willing to share this info in case he dies because insurance companies sometimes keep the money if spouses don't request it and file paperwork I read. I thought for years they would just automatically pay but read otherwise recently. Some insurance companies probably hope more people don't talk about insurance. In my last job, I had term life, accidental, and more I think.
Juice you trolling us again?
Wanting to see how many guys offer sex as part of open marriage or offer advise instead?
I thought this thread was more believable because of the newbie comment mistake of not hitting return every 4 or 5 lines making a post more readable.
A woman in her position, if legit, would hate us all and this site.
Undecided
Illinois
Last Seen 19 Hours Ago
Joined Yesterday
Contribution Level: 0.00
Then in the comments:
Undecided
Illinois
15 HOURS AGO
Nope not a troll
So "she" already knows what/who a troll is?
Many times and almost immediately:
@25 & @flagooner
"She" also knows how many reply on here?
TROLL!!!