Time for a long break or complete break

Are you familiar with Einstein's definition of insanity?

Doing things over and over again? Yeah I know lol..I’m just not sure what to do, I need a break though, I just don’t know how to go about it. This one girl has me hooked and she puts me on guilt trips all the time and I’m overspending

If the negatives are outweighing the positives and it's controlling you vs you controlling it, then you need a clean extended break so you can clear your head and think clearly - sorta like an alcoholic needs sobriety as to not drink himself to death.

Thanks, I’m just afraid if I tell her I need a break, (which I do) then she will get upset and not talk to me anymore

If you need a break then take one....take care of you first.

With habits, IMO often times it seems the hardest part is getting-started - IME once one makes a change one often acquires momentum per se and it becomes easier to stay the course - as long as you keep doing the same thing/behavior and giving into it, you'll be chasing your tail and not getting anywhere - change requires discipline and determination

Of course she won't talk to you anymore, you're just an ATM

She doesn't give a shit about you beyond your $$$, no reason to care what she thinks b/c she doesn't really think about you (unless she wants $$$)

Yeah that’s true...I just need to discipline myself, it’s rough...I’m just going to have to tell her I need a break

Repeat after me ... "I ain't the one"

Block their numbers and don't go into the club for awhile. Chances are you won't, We've seen this happen before with other guys. You need to understand that you are in control. So what if she's mad at you, if she wants your money, she'll deal with it. She's taking advantage of the fact you're not showing a spine. Take control of the situation and control the narrative otherwise this probably isn't going to end well for you.

Soldier you need to buck up!

Keep your head up! God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers!

Switch to email instead of text. Then use an email address you don't login to except to contact her.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bueuGw47…

Learn it. Know it. Live it.

Go drive a shit truck for a week. That will smell some sense into you

Telk them you got a travelling job and won't be available for next few months. You can text them whenever you want to go after few months

^why not just tell em how it's gotta be, instead of creating an elaborate lie?

Just tell her you're broke on your next text and see her reaction. That's all you need to know to see how you two really stand.

Looks like having feeling for a dancer is something you need to guard against, Praetorian. (See what I did there? Praetorian...Guard? get it? ) Never mind.

"This one girl has me hooked and she puts me on guilt trips all the time and I’m overspending"

@DP - So this girl that has you hooked, ah, let's call her Bridget, how exactly does she guilt you?

The best cure for a girl that ails you, is climb on top of a different girl.

Listen and follow the above counsel of your experienced yet free therapists.

Block their calls and texts. If that doesn't work, change your cell number.

Oh, and if the girl who you have feelings for doesn't talk to you again, so what? Are you under some deluded impression that you'll be starting a family with her or will otherwise have her over the long haul? What do you really think the end game is here? I have no idea how old you are, but using a commercial relationship as a substitute for real affection is exactly why you are in this pickle in the first place. This could be a chance for you to find your fucking ball sack and recapture your dignity and self respect.

I think hits best to keep the reply short and then not answer subsequent texts at all. Tell her, “Awe, I can’t today, babe.” She doesn’t need more. Anything else is being pushy. If she begs, or tries to guilt you, completely ignore it. She’ll stop.

@Dugan: "...using a commercial relationship as a substitute for real affection.... find your fucking ball sack and recapture your dignity and self respect."

________________
@Dugan just loves lecturing us on this topic -- even though he's the poster boy for neurotic behavior and strip-club obsession. Must be his 50th lecture of this type since I've been here.

There are so many girls out there and it's so easy to find someone else, @OP.

Randumb posted: "@Dugan just loves lecturing us on this topic -- even though he's the poster boy for neurotic behavior and strip-club obsession. Must be his 50th lecture of this type since I've been here."

I think 50 is conservative. Over 9 years I've probably posted something like this at least once a month on average. As far as strip club obsession, this is a site dedicated to strip clubs, no? Who the fuck else would post here other than guys who have an unhealthy obsession with clubs, unless of course it is goofy trolls like you who just can't find anywhere else to hang out. ;)

Randumb, are you ever going to post a club review btw? Since it obviously needs to be pointed out to you, this is a club review site after all.

I post reviews under an alias, dipshit. The last time I asked you to divulge the city where your kids and wife sleep, you just didn't answer.

The timing on this is interesting --I was about to start a new discussion when I saw yours and the comments. Yesterday there must have been something in the air.....heard from my recent ex out of the blue....702 area code which means Vegas and probably back to being a stripper and from two other dancers I haven't heard from in well over a year.

Block the numbers, although with today's software if the want to get in touch with you they will....they can buy any number of spoofing software apps that allow them to come from a different phone number.

I took a break once before and it ended up lasting for almost two decades........I came back and found clubbing to be fun again but if it ever didn't I'd stop.

An anonymous screen name to protect another anonymous screen name. Got it Randumb. ;)

Oh, and me persona questions about where my family sleeps is not the only invasive question you've asked me. s there any particular reason why you wish to know so much about me and my activities? Your very particular interests in where my family resides, exactly how much I paid for xyz, etc., are getting kinda' creepy dude.

I meant to start with "and the personal"...lol. Typing too fast as I have a lot of real world thing to do today - please don't ask me about those too Randumb-stalker.

Of course I don't have the slightest interest in where your family lives. The point is that you travel and your reviews don't give away your location, dipshit. I write reviews under an alias as an extra layer of anonymity, dipshit. Do you understand? We've had at least one member (Lloyd) outed.

dipshit - that would be a great TUSCL handle

Randumb, if you have no interest in where my family lives, why do you keep asking? Also, why do you ask very specific questions about how much I spent in every OTC-related thread that I post? Sorry, but that story doesn't jive. Maybe your paranoia about stalkers comes from your own experience as one.

Because I'm making a point. All my reviews in the past decade have been in one city. You're reviews don't give away your home location. Don't you fucking understand English?

I don't give a shit what you pay for OTC. DO you have even one example?

your*

Randumb posted: "I don't give a shit what you pay for OTC. DO you have even one example?"

Now you're just full of shit or suffering from dementia. I'll give you two, both recent. You were the very first commenter in each of these threads posted by me and what was the very first thing that you asked?

https://www.tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=…
https://www.tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=…

Like I said, very creepy dude.

She isn't going to stop talking to you if she values your business. Salespeople in general know that if you get pissed off at a potential customer who doesn't want to buy anything right now, they'll lose that customer forever. So if she was able to get a good chunk of money off of you up to this point, she surely wouldn't mind waiting until you build up your finances again.

Not so much dementia as goofing on your purpose in life -- which is apparently bragging about paying for sex. And yes, I make fun of you every chance I get.

No, I don't care about how much you pay for sex.

Use the BJ99 approach and just give her $$$ to leave you alone

:)

Don't take all this criticism too seriously, @Dugan. Your just some neurotic goof who brags about his prostitution habit. There are worse things in life....

you're*

LOL

@DP

A stripper will get away with as much as you let her - if you allow her to manipulate you then she'll keep manipulating you, it's what she does, it's who she is

@ Papi, I wouldn’t suggest giving her money to leave you alone, but for some guys here, the dick pics would work.

Or as the old saying goes, you can’t trust Bridget, but you can trust Bridget to be Bridget

Man, I’m never good with budgets.

intoDougster :) You are quite the witty little tuscl zing fairy today! “zing! zing! Tee hee!”

Just having a conversation with my father about this. For too many men women are supposed to be a reward for hard work and blah blah blah.

Your I feel like the OP is basing a lot of his esteem/value on how much this dancer likes him. And she's confirming either he's worthy we're not worthy. And he gets the emotional highs and lows based on her whims.

I suggest a break and definitely some therapy, personally. Addiction is an emotional response for some internal turmoil. And the OP is definitely an addict.

It’s your money, you need to start taking control of it.

Interesting Randumb. You claim to be trolling someone on a strip club discussion board for talking about...interactions with strippers? I think the same dementia that made you so quickly forget your creepy stalker questions ahve also made you forget where you're posting. Is there a better place for these discussions?

But ok wunderkind, then what would you like us to talk about instead? Politics? Maybe current events affairs? Perhaps a few more screen name on screen name back and forths? What exactly would you like us to discuss on a strip club discussion board if talking about messing around with strippers if OT for you? :)

Or maybe you can regal us with another 30 posts or so about how a guy who said that he got blown by a 14 year old really didn't mean it. It was bad enough when you were just stupid, but this also proved that you are utterly depraved as well. If stalker boy ankle biting pedo defenders want to criticize what I do, they can have at it. ;)

@Dugan:

(1) The *only* post I made about the VM controversy is that it sounded like Roy Moore (who was endorsed by the orange dipshit that you voted for). And, yes, anything involving underage girls is incredibly depraved.

(2) I do enjoy the political discussions here. I never start them out of courtesy to @Founder. Some of your posts on immigration are quite good; most of the others are typical redneck shit that you find in a stripper forum.

(3) I enjoy trolling you in particular because you glorify your own prostitution as some sort of magnificent feat. As if you deserve a Nobel Prize. Then you lecture everyone else on the not falling in love with prostitutes -- as if grown men can't figure that out on their own.

(4) Since you're too self-absorbed to read anything I post, I started clubbing in my late thirties. I've been out something like 400 times in 2 dozen clubs in two states. I DO POST REVIEWS UNDER AN ALIAS. After getting Chlamydia from a dancer, I had to tell my wife and it almost ended my marriage. Since then, I mostly meet college girls online, and post about it here and on another forum. Current SB is pre-law, Italian, on cross-country scholarship, student-body president in high school, and nearly perfect in every way. I pay her -- I'm invisible to 21-yr-old girls now.

(5) For the last time, ask yourself if you would be writing reviews if you did not travel, giving away the home town where your wife and kids sleep. I bet the answer is no. I couldn't give a fucking shit about any of your personal information; I'm just making a point that everyone here understands.

To the OP, I’d recommend stopping immediately. The only way to successfully stop is to go cold turkey immediately.

If you go back, you are leaving the door open, and the dancer will sense it. Dancers can be very perceptive, and she will know that you want her more than you want to stay away.

This is a dancer, and by stopping seeing her, you are cutting off part of her consistent income stream, so she won’t be happy. But you must remember - she’s not unhappy that you stopped seeing her - she’s unhappy because you’ve cut consistent money from her. If you keep thinking that she misses my money - not me - it should give a realistic perspective.

Last post, @Dugan.

Look at someone like @Doces, who's going through a divorce, and documenting here all the money he's spending on strippers and sugar babies. Easy to see from his reviews that he's a small-town MD from West Virginia (as I recall). While I'm no expert, there's something called "dissipation of assets" in divorce proceedings that might entitle his wife to half the assets that we're pissed away. What you write here may have no legal significance in itself, but it sure isn't going to help you if it's uncovered by an angry wife or her divorce attorney.Just common sense.

I normally don't like to tell people that they're having fun wrong. That said, it really doesn't sound like you're having fun. Not really.

You possibly need to come to grips with the reality that you're not built for strip clubs or strippers. That's not a bad thing. Actually, it's probably a good thing.

I suspect that an SA/sugarbaby arrangement would end badly for the same reasons.

Honestly, if you're going to engage in P4P (without being a wreck), then start looking at escorts (but not at the Backpage level). Generally, less drama and the cost is pretty much fixed. Also, they're far more punctual and better at communicating.

It's very transactional, which turns off a lot of guys. But, you possibly will do better in a transactional relationship rather than one that involves the illusion of emotional attachment.

Because these strippers you're falling for don't give a slippery wet shit about you beyond your wallet.

Thanks all..but yeah I don’t really look for extras, but with this one I have brought it up with her before and she adamantly says she does not do extras, she has had a pretty steady BF for awhile. I’m just not sure if she really does extras or does not.

I just need a break. That’s what screwed me up over the one before this one and now this one

^ In that case, a complete break is what you need. If you're going broke or in debt for "that" as well as going down the deep sad end of RIL, you definitely should cut her off. There is no "reward" that she can give you that is worth all that.

Actually DP I bet you will find what you are looking for in the right SB. From my experience allot of them would be capable of making the crossover to GF you appear to be yearning for.

If you are not looking for that then you have got to stop seeing the same dancers over and over. Change up girls to prevent these feelings from developing. Start being a man whore and stop taking stripper numbers.

What does SB mean?

No I don’t need a relationship, I have trust issues and been burned too many times. I just need to switch up girls but it’s tough when she is in there atvyhe club also

So you're nit having sex with her and she still has you by the balls like that - yeah, you need to get your shit together

SB = Sugar Baby (the girl that dates a Sugar Daddy)

@Papi he just needs his balls back getting his shit together would be too much.

I’ll just try to keep improving, getting better, doing things differently, and sticking to a budget. I’m too weak to make a complete clean break from it.

Sugar Baby. Basically Seeking Arrangement girs but screen out the strippers and escorts. They tend to be more mercenary about what they are looking for (just $$$). There is a sizable number of girls that are just doing it part time but are also dating and/or looking for mr right. Not saying it is trouble free going there but thats true in any relationship that doesnt involve $.

Ok then change up strippers and dont let your feelings get tangled up with them.

Most important stop taking phone numbers!

It’s the snapchat, instagram and Facebook too, I’m single so I figured what the hell just add them all on the social media

If you are single, and developing feelings for a dancer, maybe it’s a sign that you should date some civi girls.

I think you need a little time away to analyze things - while you're in it you're not able to see the forest from the trees

Randumb posted: "I enjoy trolling you in particular because you glorify your own prostitution as some sort of magnificent feat. As if you deserve a Nobel Prize."

Is that what I do Randumb? Perhaps getting chlamydia from a dancer has soured you on p4p. Your sour experience doesn't need to be shared by everyone else. Some of us enjoy talking about fun with strippers. I guess you'd prefer to talk about politics and your pedophile buddy instead, so someone who actually talks about fun with strippers is eligible for your goofy troll comments.

I should also add that not all of us club in places like Miami, Detroit and other areas with full on sex readily available from dancers. For those of us in tighter environments, details of the hunt and other trials and tribulations are certainly noteworthy at least for those of us who haven't infected our spouses with an STD. Again, I am on a strip club discussion board, not the local PTA Facebook page.

And you call me self involved.

Yes, what a devastating takedown, @Dugan.


I don't live in an area like Miami and Detroit; the clubs nearby are NOT brothels and I succeed, anyway.

Challenge you to post even one example where I've supported VM or his story about underage girls. Are you thinking of someone else? I've never met the guy, nor have I posted a single thing in his support. I DID post about Roy Moore. Are you sure it's not you suffering from dementia?

What's soured my on stripper p4p is that most of these girls come from dysfunctional families and lead depressing lives associated with drugs, alchohol, domestic abuse. In contrast the girls I've met online are success stories. One modeled during high school and went to top-10 school in economics. Another was captain of the cheerleaders and voted most likely to succeed. Current was student-body president in high-school. You can have the heroin addicts if you find that glamorous.

I was honest about getting an STD. I had no symptoms and got tested. I did the responsible thing and told the dancer and my wife. That was 2.5 yrs ago, and it will never happen again.

Get a life, snowflake

Just text her you are broke and taking a break from strip clubs. I used to not even tell anyone and would just disappear for weeks at a time.

Ah, I see now Randumb. Paying the girls who fuck for money from a sugardaddy site is ok so long as she convinces you that she has the right pedigree, but sourcing them from a strip club is not. Or at least talking about sourcing girls from the strip club is not. Sounds to me like your brush with an STD has made you a prostitute snob. ;)

You do realize that, unlike your SA prostitutes, some dancers don't actually fuck for money, right? That's what makes the discussion of finding good ones so interesting, at least for a guy like me and others here as well.

Ok, so let's keep our list of allowed and disallowed practices current:

Defending a pedophile...OK
Glorifying SA prostitutes...OK
Stalking other tuscl members with weirdly personal questions...OK

But...

Actually talking about fun with strippers on a strip club support site...NOT OK

Which makes..

Acting like a snarly little ankle biter when others talk about fun with strippers on a strip club website...OK.

Got it. Thanks for clarifying Randumb. ;)

@ Dugan your new catch phrase is ankle biter, wow you stumble on something that might be witty, then repeat it so often it sounds stupid, but with you that’s par for the course.
You seem so hung up on pedo defenders, sounds like a little jealousy on your part. You wish you had the balls to be a stand-up guy but you are such a pussy,all you ever do is repeat the same old tired arguments like a woman scorned, dredging up old arguments, you are so weak dude.
Girly boy wants so much to be part of something you’re like the kid sitting all alone in the lunch room looking at the table of cool kids, then your chief tormentor pats you on the head you being so desperate to fit in become his lap dog and protege.
Keep posting on the pink site it’s really more you’re forte, group think is in there, plus you have the added advantage, that you are a cunt, so whether or not you have one, you’ll fit in perfectly with those cunts.
One more thing ankle biter is a perfect description for you, ima start referring to you as that, you nippy little ankle biter.

Twenty, I know you're on your last legs when you have one of your little hissy fits and start hurling personal insults to see what sticks. ;)

You should also work for CNN after that attempt of spinning this as a branding and an argument issue. :)

If you don't like the expression "ankle biter" then don't be one, simple. I can't think of a better phrase for a snarky troll who bitches and moans every time someone posts about messing around with strippers on a strip club website, but if you can then please feel free to offer up alternatives.

And every time one of the pedophile defenders like yourself decides to troll and criticize someone for mis-characterized interactions with grown strippers, I'll be sure to remind the audience (likely nobody at this point) exactly who and what that ankle biting troll is. This isn't branding - you really did it and lost all moral authority in the process. If you don't want to hear it anymore, then you can simply stop being an ankle biting troll.

^^^Spin Dugan, spin, like you can find one example of me defending that kind of behavior.
You are the one on your last legs, that is a red herring, you know it most here on the board know it, please spare me your platitudes, hell, even founder told you you were weak and pathetic by telling you to notify LE which is what started your mentor calling me pedo defender. What a pussy you are, you are convinced that someone is doing something like that, but calling them names is all you guys do, I told you guys If you believe that call the cops, then you guys make all kinds of excuses why you can’t inform LE. You are the biggest degenerate on here.
What a dumbass.

BTW I love the expression”ankle biter” it describes you perfectly.

And the hissy fit is now officially in full swing. ;)

But let's keep it straight 25, I'm the asshole, not the ankle biter. Ankle biters are those who continually nip at the heels of others and we know who has been doing that in every thread I've posted recently about strippers and OTC, dont' we? ;)

So, as I've always said, I can't tell another grown man how to carry himself. But snarky ankle biting trolls might want to think twice about how they characterize the actions of others when their most remarkable recent contributions to the board involved a vigorous defense of a self proclaimed pedophile. Like I said in another thread, I think your moral compass is twisted beyond fixing, but on a site like this I suppose types like you are inevitable.

@Dugan

"Ok, so let's keep our list of allowed and disallowed practices current:

Defending a pedophile...OK
Glorifying SA prostitutes...OK "
______________

Again, I just can't help but point out the irony that the US President, the leader of the free world, did just that -- defend a pedophile. It must bother you that you voted for such an imbecile. Again, I never defended VM in any way, yet you keep stammering away with the same lie, like an autistic 8-yr-old.

As far as glorifying SA, I think in all honesty it's possible to find great girls in strip clubs, too. It's a numbers game, and there are far more college-age girls available online. You did say that you're having trouble paying your family's health insurance. So I can understand that you target the heroin addicts and middle-aged, desperate, clingy, over-the-hill dancers that the rest of us would avoid.

Seeking bargain basement girls is a good idea for you @Dugan, since your girls will have little or no inheritance or funds for college. But don't fret -- these days they can go online and have middle-aged guys put them through college. And, besides, someday your girls will take solace in the fact that daddy was a major legend on two online stripper boards with 25,342 posts.

I do like the ankle-biting metaphor. It's as you are exploring your inner English literature gayness.

^Interesting Randumb. Did I say that I was having trouble paying for health insurance? Or was I instead objecting to shelling out $25k per year for shitty Obamacare insurance that I was getting absolutely nothing back from? Go back and read slowly if needed. Is there any sane person who wouldn't object to that?

But I do appreciate your concern over my finances, even if it is a continuation of your stalkerish behavior. ;)

^Interesting Randumb. Did I say that I was having trouble paying for health insurance?

The last time you brought it up is was $20K for a family of four -- which is quite reasonable for a family of four. Rich guys don't complain about paying their family's health insurance so I'll assume you're an internet fraud.

Fun pissing match. No?

It's 25k now (2018) for a family of five. And it would be reasonable if the coverage was decent, but it's an Obamacare individual marketplace plan, which means that it comes with high deductibles and copays, which means that I don't get shit back from it. I may not be rich, but I'm doing well enough that I do not qualify for subsidies. So every dollar of that $25k is being used not for my own family, but for other people. So your damned right I object - they are taking a chunk of my money while still making me pay out of pocket for our routine healthcare. Only people who don't know what they're talking about think that Obamacare is even remotely effective for anyone who is not getting a lot of the tab picked up by the Feds or by other people like me.

You chose to have this pissing match pedophile defender, not me.

And yes, I trotted out "pedophile defender" again in a completely hamfisted way...oops. ;)

Though for some reason, repeat uses of that phrase never seem to dull the horrible meaning behind it. I wonder why?

@DuganAKA snippy ankle biter, insults coming from a guy who’s a desperate as yourself I’ll take as compliments owing to your highly jealous desires to fit in someplace. As I suggested before a cunt like you should be right at home on Stripper Web, I have numerous PMs from others who agree with me.

@DrunkPraetorian... Good luck with your "doing the same thing over and over again" strategy.

I’m going to try and stay away and take a break. Or I’ve just got to stop myself from falling for these girls. This is the second time it’s happened but now I think I can defeat it. If she texts me I’ll just say “sorry I can’t make it in this week.”

If she texts you, don't answer.

Even easier. And less likely to lead to temptation.

I want to ignore it but it’s tough. We would meet once a week at the club, so she will probably get mad at me if I don’t text back and she’s there. But I think she just realizes she can get to me like that and I know she has other customers

And then I worry if I stay away too long then I would lose my “regular” status in there. Although I’m pretty sure they all just make fun of me and think I’m a creep anyways

Dude stop worrying about what she thinks of you in terms of whether you visit the club or not. She calls you because you are an easy mark who will come in. If you stop coming in whenever she calls she'll stop calling you.

I think you should go on Dr Phil

Tell me you use a burner phone for your club interactions? If it’s a burner - then toss it - just smash the shit out of it! If you can’t handle the temptation of her calls - then she can’t contact you. Then the only way you can get in contact - is to drive to the club - and you don’t know if she will even be there.

If you are using a legit cell phone - that you can’t just smash - then you are kinda fucked.

She's not getting mad at you. She's getting mad at your not handing over your cash. She doesn't care enough to be mad at you.

So what if you lose your regular status? It's not hard to earn it back if you ever decide to go back. You're a guy who likes titty bars; you're not trying to qualify for a space launch to Mars.

When it comes to strippers, you're basically only as good as your $$$ - i.e. 99% of the time they'll gladly take you (your $$$) back when you're ready to be a regular again

From my own experience, I had a 3 month gap where I did not go to a club where I had a favorite. When I did go back, she acted as if it had only been a week since she last saw me.

Taking a long break from the club would be a good way to help clear your head. However, the process will go a lot smoother if you take the time you devoted to the club and fill it with other things you enjoy doing. That way, you won't constantly be dwelling on the situation and how bad it has turned out to be.

When you do return to the club, it would be a good idea to not exchange numbers with any dancers. You can always ask them what their schedule is, and then just show up at the club to see them whenever you feel like it. Sure, there may be the chance that she won't be there, but then you get the chance to focus your attention on other girls. I think you would do a lot better with variety, instead of focusing on having a CF.

Thanks again for all these great tips/talk.

My problem was that I jumped in too fast, and focused only on one or two girls solely. I also tried to be friends with everyone in there and be Mr. Cool. That was a mistake I think.

I’m going to try and take a break and find other hobbies to fill up the void. I also have these girls on all of my social media apps - snapchat, instagram, Facebook and my only phone I have. I’m just too weak to delete them all off it.

I think I’ll try the ignore option or just say “I can’t this time.” I always care too much and worry about what people think of me. I’ve been clubbing for one whole year now, so this whole year looking back has been a huge learning curve with money and now this..

"I’m not sticking to my budget plan either and keep overspending. I need a break but I feel I will always get tempted and give in to their texts and cat calls to come in..."

Good for you. Knowing your limits is essential to making the hobby work, even if learned the hard way.