I Want To Become A Strippers Boyfriend

No one sleeps with a stripper for free.

Not really.

You’ve got too much ambition to be a strippers boyfriend!

The way you are thinking is all wrong. Being an unemployed boyfriend means you’ve got nothing to do - and no desire to do anything. When your stripper asks if you can drive her - you tell her that you are busy - even when you plan to lay on the couch in sweats.

You never cook or do the dishes - that’s her job!

You need to understand that you are too brilliant for regular office work. You’d never fit in with those office drones. You need to brainstorm ideas about how you can hit it big with online gambling - as that’s right up your alley (if you were an unemployed stripper boyfriend).

You also need to be part of a band that never made it big - but did play a few parties in high school -

Apparently ime the key to being a stripper boyfriend is to be a total dick to her.

This topic reminds me of a favorite cartoon by B. Kliban

twitpic.com

Like to game - check

Was in a high school band - check

Things are looking good for me! Thanks cashman1234 - I’ll put those things on my stripper boyfriend resume!!! Lol

I’m beginning to see your point, offering to cook clean and drive are way above and beyond a typical stripper boyfriends duties.

Sigh - one can daydream...

You DO know that's going to flake out on you on a weekly basis on something important to you...like coming right home after work, or having her rent money on time.

Like to game - check

Was in a high school band - check

Things are looking good for me! Thanks cashman1234 - I’ll put those things on my stripper boyfriend resume!!! Lol

I’m beginning to see your point, offering to cook clean and drive are way above and beyond a typical stripper boyfriends duties.

Sigh - one can daydream...

Show me a hot chic and I can show you a guy tired of fucking her.

Cherish your life the way it is. You have escapes that a stripper's boyfriend can not afford.

You got it rong.

The boyfriend doesn’t drive her.

She drives HER car (which she pays for by sucking dick) and the boyfriend sits in the passenger seat with 2 or 3 of his drug/gaming buddies. She gets out of the car with her duffel bag of tricks and goes inside to drink all day/night and then the boyfriend and his “gang” come back and pick her up in her car.

Seen it happen way too many times at shift change.

The title of this discussion reminds me of some of Trucidos discussions. The difference is that he was serious!

@Ishmael +100

I would loved to but I hate drinking and drugs now. I'd probably be into smacking a hoe every now and then and fucking her friends ..but baby sitting her kids would be more than i could handle.

It's too late for me. I've already amassed too many assets. :)

@GACA you don’t watch her kids. She drops the kids off at her mom’s place on her way to the club. A stripper bf can’t be held down by his kids - or anybody’s kids!

It's never too late, shadowcat. You can give away just about everything, and live like a dancer's boyfriend, living off her trade and gaming night and day. :)

Mdfmk888 that’s the truth - and it’s rational. But I think it’s unlikely that a strippers boyfriend would be rational. Your last two sentences are spot on!

Cashman1234 is spot on !

Well thanks you assholes for ruining my idea. Guess I'll go ahead and get to bed at a decent time tonight instead of getting drunk watching Thursday Night Football so I can get up and go to work tomorrow.

You guys are cracking me up. Personally I don't exactly want to be a stripper's boyfriend, per se. What do you call it when you're living off of several of them all at once and then when they get old you just dump them and get some new ones? It's right on the tip of my tongue... oh yeah, I remember... a pimp. That's my dream job.

@Cashman1234, I have to say, I've been in several strippers' appartments and, with one exception, it seems like no one is doing the dishes at all. Or the laundry, for that matter. I've only ever met one organized neat-freak in a strip club.

^lol thats what i was thinking too. I would rather be a pimp.

You are very welcome, shailynn. Go ahead and get drunk and watch FOOTBALL !!!

This is one of the funniest threads I've seen in a while. Shailynn, you could probably try it for a while but you would have to dress all gangy too. Straight bill baseball cap backwards, NHL jersey and some sweat pants. Arm and neck tats need to extend past the NHL jersey. Thug necklace completes the ensemble.

Good point BurlingtonHF. Doing dishes and laundry is too mundane for strippers and their bf’s.

Shailynn - I’m enjoying this discussion! It’s fun - and there’s some real truth here too!

Don't listen to these lazy nay-sayers my clothing-challenged lady friends. I was a stay-home Dad for years. I am actually good at cooking, cleaning, laundry, and chauffeuring--and I'll still have energy to give you a good pussy pounding when you get home at 3 a.m. Hit me up via PM, I'm accepting inquiries.

You guys are seeing high class strippers if they live in apartments. The ones I've seen have been in trailer parks. Still looks like a disaster area even though the kids have been staying with the stripper's mom for a few days...or weeks...or always.

I could rent a room to a stripper and possibly become a strippers boyfriend but that would be a lot of work. I'd have to clean the house unless she didn't mind a mess. She might clean my house in a way I don't like. I probably live too far away but I have met some strippers that live close to me. Never met any that I knew that I really liked and that told me they lived nearby. I found out about one because she died. Another was involved in a terrible car crash but she never told me where she lived. She survived fortunately. Hopefully paranormal stuff won't freak out a stripper. It doesn't happen often that I know of. My local Walmart is now haunted. Lol. Ghost knocked something off a shelf while I was there. I wonder if they are trying to figure that out on video? Lol.

You guys are hilarious. I like this thread. And I want everyone here to know that, when I finally do start pimping full-time, everyone is welcome to a free dance... I mean, you know, the club and the girl will still take their cut but I'm not gonna get greedy... so basically prices will remain the same as they've always been. For now :)

@mdfmk888, I wish, brother. God, I love those Midwestern chicks. I guess the grass is always greener.

Someone should write a thread about strippers' apartments/trailers/hovels full of expensive clothes but no food or baby formula. I've seen real doozies straight out of Better Homes and Gardens.

I forgot to mention, she'd have to like the house temperature in the 60's or just sleep next to me. I keep my house cool year round. My air conditioner was running yesterday but I turned it off. My idea of toasty or hot is 72 degrees. I prefer 60's. Exception, if I drink beer, it makes me colder. If I do that I can tolerate really hot temperatures like in a strip club. However drinking beer turns off my sexual equipment so she might need to restock the beer if she doesn't want to fuck.

Q. You see a car go past with a stripper and her boyfriend. Who is driving? A. The cop.

Reminds me of a dancer visiting me in western South Carolina who lived in eastern NC every week at the club for almost a year. Said she drove 95 the whole way but said the police were giving her trouble a couple times.