Has a dancer ever lost control of her bowels and shit on your lap during a dance

Dougster has. He always smells like shit and that's even before he opens his mouth.

I hope that it doesn't scare the shit out of you. :)

Dude, WTF? Who worries about shit like this?

Crazyjoe can show him the finer points of shitting everywhere.

Never, but this would be funny as shit because I drive a shit pumper sewer sucker truck.

Holy shitsnacks! Are you shitting me? I can't believe this shit. Shit ...

How did you even come up with this?

Sounds like you have an issue with this - to regain control an overcome your fears - perhaps you should bring your bestie - three loaded soft tacos including black beans - get her to drink a black coffee and then just stick your finger up her ass - ba bing you should end up with a nice stinky load in your lap... problem solved...

Sounds like a load of crap to me. Is there a name for this fear? Shitofobia or something? I bet that must stink. I've never seen a stripper drop a load of shit on a customer. Has this happened to someone?

A girl left a shit stain across my leg after she sat in my lap trying to sell a dance. I mean it could have been shit or a leaky tampon.

Glad you asked.

No.

Brilliant question!

You should PM crazyjoe. This happened to him when he convinced the McD's waitress to give him a LDK in the shitter. He got more than he planned for!

... And I had always assumed before a stage performance, that it was sweat being toweled off the pole...

This sounds like a bull shit question...

When people ask me why I no longer give a flying fuck about the future of America I think of threads like this.

Never happened to me. That being said - I'm much more interested in pussy - than ass. If a dancer appears to be very drunk - and she's giving you a private dance - and you start to spread her cheeks wide - there's a possibility you could cause a mess (but it's a remote possibility):

Hmmm...that sounds like Lapsheissophobia - As a pl you should seek immediate treatment for this condition if you wish to live a normal pl life.

Not shit, but during a recent trip to Detroit, a dancer did leave lots of stains the front of my black trousers. It was my fault really. I brought a toy into VIP and spent a little over an hour using it on her. It looked like a snail has gotten drunk and wandered back and forth on my groin and thigh area.

I have had one or two fart and have had several leave trails on my pant leg that glow under a black light! I had one girl take off her bottoms bending to the floor spreading her cheek toward me before she started to sit to grind on my leg but I stopped her from sitting on me when i saw the shit smear between her butt cheeks, she got really upset when I ended the dance then told her to go wipe/wash her ass and change her bottoms before she sat down anywhere. As I left I told the bouncer why I was not paying for the second dance she had just started. He told me while she was definitely a fine looking girl he had received complaints of her hygiene previously. He steered my towards a girl that was not as good looking but was sweet in disposition, taste and scent(she also enjoyed her work as much as I did).

Damn, dude! Of all the things in the world to worry about, you pick this?

Crip, in your case, it might not be an accident.

I once had a fear of alien females with octopus like tentacles that could reach out and slide under shorts and suck your dick dry. Well not really. Just a dream I had to a different alien planet. You have to watch out for alien horny females on whatever planet you visit in your dreams if you are worried about getting drained. It was a common custom on their planet to suck on appendages. I prefer the blond human looking aliens.