Ever ask a dancer for permission to touch her?
doctorevil
Evil Lair
I never have. Five minutes of observation should tell you what's generally acceptable at the club. From there, I'll escalate slowly, giving her the opportunity to say no or push my hands away, and see what happens.
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27 comments
CP
I only ask when I am pretty sure what the answer will be. I have found that it makes me appear considerate.
If what you're asking is: **during** the dance, do I ever ask the stripper if I can do X, the answer is: yes, sometimes. I do sometimes do the same thing as the guys above: go by feel and just move slowly enough that she can tell what I'm doing so she has time to move my hand away or slide out of range if she's uncomfortable. The thing is, IME, there's absolutely no downside to just asking her "can I touch your nipples?". If she would have let you do it if you'd just slid your hand over, she'll say yes anyway -- you're never hosing yourself. If she was NOT going to let you do it anyway, she'll say no anyway -- you're not causing the "no" to happen by asking verbally. And if she is on the fence, there's a chance that the respect and trust elicited by asking, will get her to the "yes" side (okay, that part is subject to debate). My big aha moment here was with a stripper who'd never let me touch her pussy, who relented when I politely asked; I still believe it was the verbal request itself that moved the line for me.
That's for "vanilla sexual" touching. I DEFINITELY seek verbal permission for bdsm-y type activities (spanking, pussy spanking, hair pulling, choking) and always start off light and verbally seek feedback on intensity, until we get to know each other
When it gets to time for your own pants to come down, then you invite her to the back room!
SJG
I like FIV and I like to cut to the chase about whether fingering is desired. Given many dancers work during their monthly, I think it's important to ask before starting FIV. When I don't get a yes to FIV, I frequently get permission for FOV, clit rubbing or non-insertion. One of my favs directed me to finger her ass when her usual double finger FIV offering was temporarily off the menu. She even provided the lube. I'm still sooo in lust with that woman! LOL!
It's a crapshoot, stripppers have different ways of reacting to stuff thus I rather be proactive and lead the way w.r.t. what I like vs what she likes and I leave it up to her how she will respond to how I'm leading the siutation - if she's not down w/ something I like I either continue the dances if I still like what I'm getting or stop at that dance/song - IME I feel I have gotten further more times by being the initiator - plus many strippers have this thing of "I'm not a ho" thus they may be more willing to do something b/c "it was the PL's idea" vs her "agreeing to be nasty".
e.g. Atlanta is pretty-conservative SC-wise outside of Follies - many of the clubs are air-dance no-touch clubs and this spills over into the minority of clubs where touching is allowed to where some girls still wanna air-dance or not be groped - thus in an ATL club where touching is allowed that is not Follies I've had to resort to asking the hos b/f I get a dance:
a) do you grind - if no then "Bye Felicia"
b) if yes to (a) then I ask "can I play w/ your boobs during the dance"
If not yes to both (a) and (b) I will almost always pass (sometimes I'll let (b) slide especially if I'm not that much into her tits but but may be into her ass - by asking I have increased my chances of getting mileage b/c some of the girls o/w just do what they want but by me expressing what I want many will step-up so they can make the $$$ where they o/w would have given me a lame dance.
When I was at Hong Kong couple months ago, I don't recall asking explicitly if I could touch, but that's a different situation since you can clearly see everyone else doing it. But even there, if the stage dancer doesn't want you touching her pussy for the dollar tip, she'll make it somewhat clear by putting her tits front and center instead or blocking her crotch with her hand. And a couple of women a bought drinks who didn't want their pussy touched let me know by gently grabbing my hand, if I recall correctly.
"Yes" last week doesn't mean "yes" today, and "yes" to another monger doesn't mean "yes" to me. Same applies to "no" of course.
So I always ask.