Ever ask a dancer for permission to touch her?

Yeah , asking is something only newbs would usually do - it's better if the custy is the one that sets the mileage expectations rather than leaving it up to the dancer by asking her (most custies want the most mileage possible and many dancers want the least mileage possible so best if the custy pushes the envelope)

Yes, sometimes as a courtesy if I'm not sure of her boundaries. It is usually met with a "thank you for asking" and then access is granted.

i sometimes push the envelope if it feels right....;)

Never ask. And if a dancer gives "rules" out of the gate, I'll politely excuse myself. See what's allowed, by her and the club, and escalate until we reach a max point of comfort for her. If it's within my parameters, we continue, if not, I pay her and thank her for her time.

CP

I often proceed as lopaw described, but I'm a bit of a newb.

I only ask when I am pretty sure what the answer will be. I have found that it makes me appear considerate.

Don't ask, I go the observation route. Then again I have sat in the VIP with my arms on the couch/chair, and have the dancer "position" them on her body.

If what you're asking is: **before** the dance, do I ever ask the stripper for a list of her rules or ask her if she'll let me do X, the answer is: no, never.

If what you're asking is: **during** the dance, do I ever ask the stripper if I can do X, the answer is: yes, sometimes. I do sometimes do the same thing as the guys above: go by feel and just move slowly enough that she can tell what I'm doing so she has time to move my hand away or slide out of range if she's uncomfortable. The thing is, IME, there's absolutely no downside to just asking her "can I touch your nipples?". If she would have let you do it if you'd just slid your hand over, she'll say yes anyway -- you're never hosing yourself. If she was NOT going to let you do it anyway, she'll say no anyway -- you're not causing the "no" to happen by asking verbally. And if she is on the fence, there's a chance that the respect and trust elicited by asking, will get her to the "yes" side (okay, that part is subject to debate). My big aha moment here was with a stripper who'd never let me touch her pussy, who relented when I politely asked; I still believe it was the verbal request itself that moved the line for me.

That's for "vanilla sexual" touching. I DEFINITELY seek verbal permission for bdsm-y type activities (spanking, pussy spanking, hair pulling, choking) and always start off light and verbally seek feedback on intensity, until we get to know each other

I don't ask prior to dances. I just push to see how far I can get. But for VIP, damn right I ask.

Front Room Friendliness!

When it gets to time for your own pants to come down, then you invite her to the back room!

SJG

I don't really see a problem with asking a question. I'm often in new clubs. Sometimes I'll ask about touching depending on how the club is set up and what I've read in reviews.

Again, it seems Chili Palmer and I agree 100% :-)

I don't ask if I can touch her in VIP, but I do ask if she will touch me in VIP. By "me," I mean my cock. And by "touch," . . . well, figure it out.

"Don't ask don't tell"

Yeah, when I was a newbie. Not anymore. Now I just progress slowly enough that she can show resistance when I go too far.

Pretty much always. Since I'm not interested in any lame ass, mamby-pamby "touching" legs or arms shit, but instead will want to caress the inside of her thighs, squeeze her boobs, stroke, lick or pinch her nipples, and play with her pussy, yeah, I ask. Before ever getting a lap dance.

^^^ GMD is back ! ... setting us PLs on the right course

Chili and I utilize the same technique. Asking permission sets up a whole other dynamic as Papi has observed.

I'm generally aligned with what Subraman said.

I like FIV and I like to cut to the chase about whether fingering is desired. Given many dancers work during their monthly, I think it's important to ask before starting FIV. When I don't get a yes to FIV, I frequently get permission for FOV, clit rubbing or non-insertion. One of my favs directed me to finger her ass when her usual double finger FIV offering was temporarily off the menu. She even provided the lube. I'm still sooo in lust with that woman! LOL!

Strippers are a crapshoot - although not nececssarily always the case i think asking can sometimes limit one's mileage - e.g. a newish stripper that's not that comfortable w/ groping yet, her first reflex might be to say "no" - but if I take the initiative she may see that it's not so bad - e.g. perhaps she's kinda new and had a bad experience w/ a custy groping her breasts too-hard where it was uncomfortable for her, if I ask to touch her boobs she may say no by reflex, whereas if I just go ahead and start touching them and she sees I am not rough she may be ok w/ it.

It's a crapshoot, stripppers have different ways of reacting to stuff thus I rather be proactive and lead the way w.r.t. what I like vs what she likes and I leave it up to her how she will respond to how I'm leading the siutation - if she's not down w/ something I like I either continue the dances if I still like what I'm getting or stop at that dance/song - IME I feel I have gotten further more times by being the initiator - plus many strippers have this thing of "I'm not a ho" thus they may be more willing to do something b/c "it was the PL's idea" vs her "agreeing to be nasty".

I'm usually fairly vanilla when it comes getting lappers (good groping and grinding is usually enough for me and I go further on the spur-of-the-moment depending on how comfortable the dancer is w/ it) - but per GMD's strategy if I'm in an iffy-mileage club then I do as GMD and let her know ahead of time what I expect/like.

e.g. Atlanta is pretty-conservative SC-wise outside of Follies - many of the clubs are air-dance no-touch clubs and this spills over into the minority of clubs where touching is allowed to where some girls still wanna air-dance or not be groped - thus in an ATL club where touching is allowed that is not Follies I've had to resort to asking the hos b/f I get a dance:

a) do you grind - if no then "Bye Felicia"

b) if yes to (a) then I ask "can I play w/ your boobs during the dance"

If not yes to both (a) and (b) I will almost always pass (sometimes I'll let (b) slide especially if I'm not that much into her tits but but may be into her ass - by asking I have increased my chances of getting mileage b/c some of the girls o/w just do what they want but by me expressing what I want many will step-up so they can make the $$$ where they o/w would have given me a lame dance.

Yes sometimes during dances if it's at a low mileage club.

At a club in Canada several months back, prior to agreeing to a dance, I asked the girl where I could touch because I didn't want to pay $20 and not be allowed to touch anywhere. It was a club I was unfamiliar with, so I didn't know what exactly what was and was not allowed (she said I touch anywhere but her pussy, so I took the dance and fondled and sucked on her nice tits).
When I was at Hong Kong couple months ago, I don't recall asking explicitly if I could touch, but that's a different situation since you can clearly see everyone else doing it. But even there, if the stage dancer doesn't want you touching her pussy for the dollar tip, she'll make it somewhat clear by putting her tits front and center instead or blocking her crotch with her hand. And a couple of women a bought drinks who didn't want their pussy touched let me know by gently grabbing my hand, if I recall correctly.

Why would you ever bother to ask during the dance? If she says no, you're out your dance dollars. Get it figured out beforehand so you don't waste money on low mileage chicks and ruin it for the rest of us.

I sometimes ask in a roundabout way depending on the situation, mainly because I am a visitor and I want to give a good impression of myself and my fellow countrymen.

First, you should know what type of club you're in. What is the "technical" allowed contact, and what is the "common" allowed contact as they can often be different. For instance, there was a club where you couldn't touch titty/kitty and ass cheeks especially if the bouncer was around, but almost every girl let you touch titty and ass anyway. Every now and then you could hear spanking sounds and i'm sure the bouncer could hear it too, but nothing ever really came about. The problem with asking is often then the girls will think you are a newbie or naive and just tell you the rules: you can touch this but you can't touch that and you pretty much limit yourself. Most girls only pretend to enjoy or be comfortable being touched and would rather be touched as little as possible. i guess you can still "break" those rules later based on how the dance is going, but i would just do that without asking and get the same result without seeming more disrespectful for not listening to her in the first place. YNWIM? Now if the girl tells you right out the gate, then that is likely a hard boundary and you're in for a lame dance unless you walk out which is at the least an awkward situation.

Some additional comments.

"Yes" last week doesn't mean "yes" today, and "yes" to another monger doesn't mean "yes" to me. Same applies to "no" of course.

So I always ask.

A couple trips ago I found an extra-cuddly Latina who gave some great grind and let my hands go pretty much anywhere as long as I wasn't blatant about it. I had my hand way up her inner thigh and asked, "Too close?" She pushed my hand higher until I had a handful warm Lycra and giggled, "No, THIS is too close," then squoze her thighs together. I guess it depends on the vibe, the girl, and whether you've bought her a Red Bull and vodka.