Things strippers say
JohnSmith69
layin low but staying high
What's the dumbest thing you've ever heard a stripper say?
Here's mine. Video girl and I were pre sex chilling on the bed. I was smoking weed and she was laying there looking fuckable. Out of the blue she says "I am so pissed that Obama is giving our nuclear weapons to Iran. That's not right." I briefly tried to understand, and then correct, this statement but it soon became clear that she should just suck my dick instead because I could not convince her that our president was not in fact giving Americas nuclear weapons to Iran.
Here's mine. Video girl and I were pre sex chilling on the bed. I was smoking weed and she was laying there looking fuckable. Out of the blue she says "I am so pissed that Obama is giving our nuclear weapons to Iran. That's not right." I briefly tried to understand, and then correct, this statement but it soon became clear that she should just suck my dick instead because I could not convince her that our president was not in fact giving Americas nuclear weapons to Iran.
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Yeah, sure you are, and all of your recounting of events tied to you working in the club will sell millions of copies. I stopped thinking about their topic when they say "I'm writing".
I managed to keep a straight face, but I thought "Come on, sweetie! Does this portly bespectacled late-middle-aged nerdy-looking dude really look like a ditch-digger to you?" LMFAO
One told me she liked out of shape guys better than in shape guys. Yeah and I like small tittied girls over big tittied ones.
Another constantly bragged how she was almost done with her undergrad degree. Update, she's been working on it for 25 years and still hasn't completed it.
My favorite was a stripper once said to me as she started her dance in VIP: "I'm married. I don't cheat on my husband."
The next song she was giving me a BBBJ.
She clarified her statement afterwards.
"I don't consider BBBJ as sex, as in I don't fuck someone so I'm not cheating."
Uh... Ok babe, whatever you say....
So, it's almost after-hours. Weekend late, maybe about 3 a.m., when I arrive. I pay my cover. I stumble across the threshold. Instantly, sorry excuse dancer number three disentangles herself from the short queue of please-don't-ever-get-on-stage ageing dancers whose only job is to escort each new entering patron over to a seat. As we turn a short corner near the front door (basically a door-blind to keep outdoor passers-by from viewing inside) I spot a waitress arriving with tray and napkin to take my order. I do NOT want to be escorted by sorry excuse dancer, not number three, not any number, because she will sit down and expect me to buy her a drink and then whale me. So, I zip over toward the waitress as quick as possible. She recognizes my tactic, cooperates, no doubt thinking "extra tip possibility" for saving me from the whale.
Waitress makes first overture for conversation as she walks me toward my new chair:
"Hi. Do you come here often?"
ROFL. As if that's not enough, waitress continues, referencing referring to sorry excuse dancer, who is now left behind: "She doesn't look like your type. You didn't come here with her, did you?"
ROFL. Every time I think about it I roll out of my seat all over again ...
True story. Honest. :)
Yep , of course I believed her and I told her She was the only gal I let touch my Johnson enough for me to come on her tits.
Ok...
these two statements .....Biology, why would I take that......and.....Yuk I get sick at the sight of blood......" all within about three minutes of each other.............
I see a long future with the pole she was twirling on....
One of the other girls quickly corrected her that all of the votes had to be cast on election day, but not to worry because "it's not midnight yet so I'll just send you the Facebook link I used to vote for Hillary before work."
"That's my dad and I don't want him to know I do VIP's"
Now that is the kind of crazy story I love TUSCL for. Brilliant!
You should have offered her an extra $200 to suck your dick in front of him, just to see if she would take you up on the offer. I know, that is kind of fucked up and non-brilliant. But it would make a really crazy story! ;)
And it was the closest thing to a bad BJ I ever had.