Would You Really Ever Date A Stripper?
shailynn
They never tell you what you need to know.
Hypothetical question of course...
I remember getting sucked in a few times to the lust of a stripper. I sometimes wonder, if I wasn't married would I really have dated her? Both instances the stripper was actually 3 years older than me. Both really wanted a relationship. They both were sincere, I've had strippers say that in the past too but I knew they were full of shit "yeah you want a relationship as much as I want to meet your kids."
One was crazy, but she was fun to be around and didn't bring too much drama into our relationship. There were the tell-tale signs that she would be a handful if I were to really date her, but they way she made me feel when we were together might have made it bearable.
The other was a completely 100% normal girl. She did get a DUI driving home from work one night years before we met but after that she vowed to never drink at work again. From what I saw she was just a normal woman that stripped, no typical stripper craziness at all. She was looking to get it of stripping but couldn't find a job to replace the combination of money and hours she was putting in.
I remember getting sucked in a few times to the lust of a stripper. I sometimes wonder, if I wasn't married would I really have dated her? Both instances the stripper was actually 3 years older than me. Both really wanted a relationship. They both were sincere, I've had strippers say that in the past too but I knew they were full of shit "yeah you want a relationship as much as I want to meet your kids."
One was crazy, but she was fun to be around and didn't bring too much drama into our relationship. There were the tell-tale signs that she would be a handful if I were to really date her, but they way she made me feel when we were together might have made it bearable.
The other was a completely 100% normal girl. She did get a DUI driving home from work one night years before we met but after that she vowed to never drink at work again. From what I saw she was just a normal woman that stripped, no typical stripper craziness at all. She was looking to get it of stripping but couldn't find a job to replace the combination of money and hours she was putting in.
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As I stated in the other thread, this might be a case of, at least to some extent, self-selecting for craziness. Or, in other words, the kind of stripper who would date (or even FWB) a strip club customer 15-20 years her senior, may well be craziest of the crazy, and it's the types of strippers who would never consider that who are a little more stable and balanced. I doubt it, but it's a theory :)
Unrelated to that, the kiss of death was a bachelor party that ended up at her club. The other guys did not know I knew her and were VERY rude with her. This was a no-touch club in the 90's. Not sure if she was pissed I was at her work, that my friends from my new job were assholes, or what, but I never got that A+ pussy again.
I'm not a risk-taker by nature and need to have things stable/in-place vs winging-it as it can be w/ strippers.
IMO it either takes a very carefree dude that just goes w/ the flow no-matter what the flow is and doesn't get worked-up about anything too-easily (def not me) or a very mature guy that also knows how strippers are/can-be.
Maybe though. If she's that one unicorn I'd do it... or just so god damn hot ;)
When I was in my teens, a ex-girlfriend went on to become a stripper a few months after we broke up, but "fairly attractive and willing to have sex" was my main criteria then.
Anyway, the way I see it, there are different kinds of crazy. Some kinds of crazy are compatible and a lot more fun than sane, while other types, not so much.
None of them ended on a good note.
Doubt that I will ever do it again. Too much work.
My current situation is actually a lot crazier. My girlfriend is not only a stripper, but a prostitute too. She works at one of the top two strip clubs/brothels in Cabo San Lucas. I don't want to say which one.
She's gorgeous and about ten years younger than me. I met her at the club and really clicked with her. I know she's a pro, but there really was and is chemistry between us. We spent several hours together in the club. Drinks, sex, etc.
It was great and I had to see her again. After a few more repeat visits, she started seeing me on her days off. At first I would pay her, but she stopped accepting my money after several times together.
The clubs/brothels in Cabo are very expensive. You are going to pay $250 to $300 for a bj with a girl at one of the nicer clubs. $400 to $700 for fs, depending on if you want the girl in the club or back at your hotel for longer than a half hour.
With prices so high, the strippers/prostitutes aren't being taken for sex every day. Some days they just make money off of tips, selling dances, girl drinks, etc.
Anyway, I know it sounds crazy, but I liked the girl alot and was paying her anyway, so why not. Sure, it's tough accepting the fact that she's sleeping with other guys, but I love her now. I've come to accept it. Waking up holding her is constantly enjoyable. The sex is amazing too, but I guess that's not a shocker. Anyway, I'm trying to convince her to quit the biz and let me support her, but so far she's hesitant too. She's saving to buy a house and is close to doing so. She wants to do it on her own.
Stunning girl with crazy mad bedroom skills kept me in the game for two years. Was 25 years younger and we Enjoyed Travel ,three somes and various other fun. Never had an argument Now we just fuck a couple times a month and and enjoy trading sex stories when we get together.
If dating one before they became a stripper counts than I'm guilty on a second count. --I've also commented on this in passing on here as well.
The first one was a lot younger than me and I met through SA---by all criteria it was a relationship. I never felt used nor did I ever feel she took advantage of me. It ended on a friendly note--for a bit after we parted she would send me notes or pictures of herself--no nudes-and I am almost certain she wanted to get back together but I had no interest.
The second one is a different story and seems to have reappeared again ......where it goes or how it ends only time will tell. We all have that one......
BTW you are never too old........
I will try to make this short. It was several years before I ever set foot into a strip club. I was a 22 year old college student and I was at a party. There I met this hot 19 year old blonde with a toned and very flexible body. We hit it off and had sex that night. We exchanged numbers. A few days later I called her and we agreed to dinner that Friday night. As we were having dinner, we did something we didn't do when we met at the party. We had a normal conversation and got to know each other a little bit on a personal level. She told me a little bit about her family life. Her parents divorced when she was really young. Her father rarely ever sees or talks to her, and she hates him for how he abandoned her. She also told me she was a stripper and what club she worked at. While there were some warning signs, I thought to myself that this was just the first date. The night ended having sex at her place. A few days later, we met for lunch. Our conversation this time was very much like the first date and I realized this girl was crazy. I did not call her again or return any of her calls. I had decided I did not want to deal with the drama.
Several years later when I began going to clubs, I always told myself I will never try to date a stripper. FWB I'm OK with, but I certainly don't want a commitment because I highly doubt I will ever meet a stripper who has her shit together in her personal life.
It was great, but I wouldn't do it again.
For me, I used SA for a couple of years and found it to be a great source of meeting women--it just so happens a couple of them were strippers in the making, or wished to keep they were strippers a secret from almost everyone around them.
Since going to the clubs I haven't dated anyone OTC--I have had one ITC experience which I didn't put up a review because I am certain no good would come from me doing so. I was surprised the girl was willing to go as far as she did and the place did not have reputation for asking for extras.
There are as I have come to find out a decent amount of dancers/strippers on SA in the DC, Pittsburgh, Philadelphia, and Cleveland areas. If you do both as I do you start to recognize a few faces.....and the code of what they write in their profiles on SA starts to have a common pattern.
I've never set out to purposely date any type of girl, and especially not a stripper because of the baggage ( not that I don't have my own carry on case ) but I will say it seems the girls that work in the clubs can sense certain traits in guys. $$$ obviously plays a part as well, a large part, but over the last year I've been happy with the fun I have had and most of that can be measured by being able to interact with the women I want to and not settling for second or third choices.
Years ago when I was involved with my retired ATF (which I will likely never come across another ATF again) my wife and I were having trouble. Call it the 7 year itch. I debated to myself, if I get divorced, do I go start dating this stripper? Being vulnerable I could see it happening even though I would know going in it was a huge mistake.
I'd say most seasoned strip club PLs (which is this entire board for the most part) knows the traps of dating a stripper and would avoid it. Some guy who has been to a strip club a few times and meets a stripper somewhere outside of a club, is much more likely to date one not having the slightest clue as to what he's getting in to.
I did it right when I got back into the strip club scene and didn't truly understand everything in the industry. But I learned, the hard way. Hopefully we can impart some wisdom here for others to not make the same mistakes and fall for the same stripper shit that I did.
I've settled on classifying one as dating and the rest as FWB, more based on my feelings than anything else: I knew if the relationship progressed, I'd couldn't deal with her stripping so she'd have to quit, which meant I'd have to support her... which ultimately meant, the relationship didn't progress. Hell, maybe that one was a FWB too, but I nipped it just at the transition point.
In the case of the one it is because she told me she was going to start and I did everything I could to convince her not to because I could not see her being successful or adjusting to the lifestyle as much as I saw the move for her as a downward spiral in life she was not going to be able to pull out of.....
To answer the OP: being a stripper (assuming low mileage) isn't the deal breaker. It's the unsavory friends and/or the lake of being able to function in the real work and/or the uncontrolled spending and/or the illegal drug and/or there is 'Follies mileage' involved and/or etc.
I wouldn't leave my wife for a stripper. But if I'm divorced in five years? Sure I wouldn't rule it out.
I'm still amazed that after all that, she not only is okay with me going to strip clubs, but she encourages it. I would not have expected that given her past.
I think your wife is hoping you hook up with a dancer and leave her too. Maybe she's just too lazy to fill out the divorce papers herself or is looking for a better settlement.
Whether it's online or "in real life", I have yet to encounter a scenario where a guy dated a stripper and it ended well.
I think that's the bottom line. And while I agree with HungryGiraffe in theory, and will even further say I've met a few strippers who are amazing women who really blossomed after they retired, it's not my perception that some of the characteristics that led them to stripping in the first place (emotional damage, tragic family histories, impulsiveness, poor judgement, etc) ever fully disappear, they just get mellowed by age and by improving the quality of the people around them. Even dialed back from 11 to 4, that can still be some heavy shit to deal with. I am on a LOT of stripper's and ex-stripper's FBs... their divorce rate is 100% from what I can tell.
I find the Twitter accounts the most telling--for some reason because family is on FB they tend to go a bit easy on some of their comments......not Twitter. You really want to get a mindset of what they are thinking it's the place to start.
"I don't pay hookers for sex. I pay hookers to go away after sex."