So after about a year of clubbing, it finally happened to me, I fell in lust. I have a default mental setting that everything a dancer tells you is a lie. They're not all lies, but it's just safer that way to think that they are. I've liked dancers, and have certainly had some favorites, for either their body parts, their faces, their dances or demeanors, but never before have I been in the position where I was like, should I risk it all. I saw a dancer, immediately liked her body and decided at that time that I wanted to get dances from her. At that time she was occupied, so I walked around a bit, and when I turned a corner there she was (topless). Before I even could make a move, she approached me. Telling me how handsome I was (stripper shit I know), and after a little back & forth she asked if I wanted a dance (of course I did). I didn't come into this club on this occasion to spend any serious money, but the PL urge, plus this woman's amazing body is forcing me to at least get a dance. 8 dances later... (actually probably more, I think a miscount occurred in my favor). The dances were very good, although not the greatest and in fact not even the best I've had at this particular club. But her body and demeanor was amazing. She was spitting her stripper shit, and me spitting my PL shit. Her talking about how lucky my spouse is, and that if she was my wife she would never let me leave her sight for fear of some other woman. She's talking about how beautiful our children would be (this was not normal stripper shit, kind of left me like what?). I'm returning the favor, talking about how in the world is she single. Even though she obviously had me hook, line & sinker, she never ran the dances up on me. She was very conscious at the end of a song to ask if I wanted another dance. Whereas, I was like why are you asking me mamita, keep it rolling. After the dances are over & the monetary transaction has occurred (hell I even shorted her on the tip by my standards as I didn't bring that much money in the club) we're still hanging out together talking. She offers me her number (first time that's ever happened), my mind is telling me no, but another part of my mind is telling me that I had to take it. She offers her number, not in the context of the club, but in the context of going out, in that she is single, and she can take calls whenever, but I may not be able to. We stay talking (she still hasn't put her clothing back on, I actually ask her to put her clothing on, because as of yet, I've only seen her topless - then I go crazy over her in her outfit), until I hear her get called up to the stage. She actually gets to the stage late because we can't peel ourselves away from each other. I have a can't miss appointment, and have long since needed to leave but there is no way I can leave without seeing her on stage. So I sit down kind of off to the side. Funny thing is, her stage show is just kind of, meh (although the body is still crazy). Certainly not indicative of the quality of her lap dances, but the type of dance that if I was considering her for a lap dance, I probably would have lost interest. After her set she comes and sits down with me, we talk some more. Then at some point I realized that the time is currently, when I should be at my appointment. I tell her she has to push me out the door (because I can't leave her), and she does. She leaves me at the entrance of the club, as I walk out into the foyer, looking back at her as she still stands there looking at me. I can't stop looking at her, and eventually walk into something as I'm backing my way out to the main entrance door.
I'm figuring out a way schedulewise to see her next week (her dance schedule does NOT generally work with my available times to club). Usually if you develop some sort of fantasy notions of someone, with enough contact & interaction they'll go away. And I presume my fantasy notions here are just based on grade A stripper shit. Probably if I go what's likely to happen is she'll be locked down with some dude, and I'll be all surly about it, or she won't even show up at all. Either way in that scenario, I'll be mad & get over this attraction & interest beyond just liking a dancer. So I'm going there to try and clear this out of my head. But what if these thoughts don't go away? What if it wasn't stripper shit? (Also I admit I'm intrigued by the idea of going out on a date with a dancer). It's absolutely nuts, to throw your world into chaos for a stripper with a young child (and somewhere out there the crazy father of a baby by a stripper), whom you've known for only 30 minutes.
But I'll be dammed if I didn't feel like that sometimes, I'm willing to risk it all.
@flagooner & GoVikings: Apologies for the run on paragraph, lot of PL passion behind it.
@25: Powerball, not a bad idea. Fantasize about winning & giving half to the wife as a severance package, and taking the other half to run off with a stripper. Not a bad idea at all.
Reminds me of a true story about an ex-wife from a long time ago. Back in the eighties or early nineties there was a super large jackpot and the frenzy was on the jackpot grew to over I think it was hundred million at least it was the largest jackpot ever at that time. Any way my ex said to me boy we could really do a lot with that jackpot even if we have to split it, so I said I'll bite what can we do with it, she replies well first we'll pay off both of our parents homes then our brothers and sisters houses, give them all some money and I could help out my mom's sister and my cousin's. Long story short, my thought to myself if I win that jackpot, I ain't telling her or anybody else shit.
My first thought is that it's a mirage - as the saying goes "if it looks too good to be true, it probably is" - so my first thought is that it's just lust talking and the pull of the pussy like the pull of the planets gravitating around the sun - it just is.
But - sometimes there is that genuine "it chick" like no-one else, so who knows - but then agan most women are good at manipulating men and some are SMEs (subject matter experts) - at best tread carefully and don't put the wagon ahead of the horse - take your time (only fools rush in).
How many of us have to bare our souls about how bad of an idea it is to fall in love with a stripper?
Proceed in your own risk. I can almost guarantee it will not end well. Those of us who have been there and done that have horror stories but everyone still thinks "it's different with me and her."
Run. Run as fast as you can and don't look back.
There will always be another stripper. They are a dime a dozen and next month there will be more. There is no end in the supply. I don't know what else we can do to spread our wisdom on this. The girls are about money and what you can do for them at the moment. Do not ever forget that.
So this is the first time a dancer offered you her number? Nowadays dancers are handing out their number to anyone that gets a dance from them.
How old are you? Is there a big age difference? If you were in your 50's, and she was in her 20's, then obviously it would be unrealistic that there would be any chance that she would be into you.
Lastly I say go for it. What do you have to lose? Go in with no expectations and see how things turn out. You only live once.
Hey LF he has a lot to lose he's a married man, you need to read his story, that is the stupidest advice ever, and don't say you were just kidding, because it's not funny !
First of all, unlike that interminable tome yesterday, I actually read this. It was way too long and you definitely need some more paragraphs.
Second, like many of us, I've been where you are. I met a stripper in April 2016 and almost immediately fell in like / lust / love with her. After many VIPs over the summer, she kicked her loser BF (typical pot-smoking gamer) to the curb and we started "dating" -- for lots of money, of course.
Currently we're on a 2-month "break", our third in 14 months! When she needs money, she'll resume contact and we'll pick up where we left off.
Questions:
1. Are you married?
2. What's the age difference?
3. Is it love or just lust?
Advice:
A. If you're both single, and if the age difference isn't so great that you know she's just using you, go for it.
B. Don't lend or advance her -- or any stripper -- money EVER!
C. Don't fall in love with a stripper.
D. Repeat B and C to yourself as often as necessary.
This is how I enjoy a guy (for the purpose of being an awesome stripper and getting money.. which I try to see as a warped sort of service); I imagine he is my soulmate and then I project that on him. Everything ab him that doesn't absolutely suck, I present as something amazing, erotic, and unique. He isn't who I'm imagining, but I do have that to give. It's pretend. You have that to give also, and she's who you are projecting it on. Your feelings are real, but they don't really belong to her.
Here's the thing. I am self aware enough to absolutely get how stupid this place I'm in is. I absolutely know the game, and am conscious enough to know that this is not something that I should ever think. I'm like, no way this would ever happen to me. But then somehow with her magical techniques, here we are.
The different thing is I'm not a conversationalist, I like dancers to be around me to be doing something i.e. giving me a dance. Her, I just liked being around her, and didn't want to leave her not in a sense of I want more lap dances, but like in my youthful days where a girl & I just clicked and we were just giddy around each other.
To answer some questions: Age difference, based on her face & demeanor doesn't appear to be too big.
I'm not rushing in or doing anything. Anyone who has read any of my posts or reviews knows that I'm very interested in studying the strip club world, just as a social phenomenon (plus I also like big bootys so that works for me too). So to me this is like a new experiment. I'm going to figure out my approach, and I'll report back the details so you all can get a good laugh at me.
Believe me I have laughed at posts like this before, shit I read the other long one posted recently, and I'm like look at this friggin rube. But here we are.
I'm not really going to destroy my entire world for a dancer who apparently just has magic game on me, but the fact that the thought crossed my mind is what is crazy.
I was in that spot for over a year and it was a great fantasy which criss-crossed between stripper shit and real feelings. I think she even got confused at several points. It was fun but it sets you up.for a hard fall when it ends. Good luck goosman.
This is where I was 8 years ago. Now I'm broke and planning on paying her on Tuesday rather than paying my electricity bill.
Go for it Gooseman. I only dropped about $300,000 on her. You can probably do it for less.
If you have read my DS stories, then you know that I've fallen "in love" with a stripper and risked it all to spend a couple of years "dating" her. It was all worth it. I wouldn't change a thing. And I couldn't forgive myself if I hadn't pursued her.
I offer counseling for this type of irrational behavior, by PayPal, only.
Some free advice:
(1) Falling in love with a prostitute is always a bad idea.
(2) Divorcing your wife because you fell in love with a prostitute is an even worse idea.
(3) If the the age difference is enormous (e.g. @Smith), you're living in, what us therapists call, a "second adolescence" and you should get help immediately.
Roll the dice, There is no love/sex/relationship without risk.
Despite what Bj99 said, this real life, your life, you are not in a TV show or play.
Listen to JS69, it might be a worthy experience.
You can't loose or win if you don't play.
It doesn't necessarily have to be "risking it all" - instead of being w/ different dancers and hitting different clubs, just stick w/ her if she really does it for you
The most important question, and one that did not surface here, is this: What is going on at home that is leaving you so susceptible to basic SS?
As I've said on here several times, I think I'm lucky that most of my strip club adventures took place when I have been in LTRs, which frankly is most of my adult life. These have kept me grounded enough not to chew on SS too much, even back when I was more prone to do so in my younger days.
Apparently, your wife is not enough to keep you emotionally grounded. This is a problem that goes even deeper than your obvious personality weaknesses, including your need for affirmation and equally powerful desire to believe it when received. It is one thing to fuck another girl, which serial cheaters like me do all too frequently, but quite another to let your big head get fucked up by one.
Before you do what gawker did, which includes blowing his life savings on a heroin junkie and now facing the prospect of eating cat food in his elder years, you may want to take a step back and look carefully at what exactly is driving you here. Just a thought.
Dugan seems to savor the opportunity to shit on somebody so his shit does not smell as bad.
"... The most important question, and one that did not surface here, is this: What is going on at home that is leaving you so susceptible to basic SS ..."
Really Dr Phil - a person's personal life is PERSONAL - why are you sticking your nose in it and bringing it up on a PUBLIC FORUM when the OP himself didn't bring it up - seems like a way for you to throw another PL under the bus to make yourself look better.
"... Apparently, your wife is not enough to keep you emotionally grounded ..."
And we are to assume yours enough to keep you "grounded" and not be fucking drug-addicted whores in the wee hours of the morning.
Dugan - you - nor anyone else here - is in a position to ditch out criticism about others' activities.
I think we may be extrapolating too-much into the OP's post - he has not said anything about leaving his family to be w/ this stripper - and the OP subsequently clarified that he was well aware of everything at play - at best the OP may have used too-colorful/dramatic wording - I chuck up the OP's story to someone that has not been in the game too-long and met a stripper that rocked his world like many other PLs have, and that usually extrapolates to such stripper becoming a fave; not the PL running away and wifeing the bitch (although in rare cases that happens; but the OP is a TUSCLer and knows better) - IMO the OP was just perhaps a bit too exuberantly detailing a first-experience like some PLs are exuberant about detailing a first extras or OTC experience.
Papi, the guy was talking about "risking it all" and getting gooey over her SS about how they would have great looking kids together. I think my questions were a very logical extension of that and I don't think that any was "extrapolating" was evident in any of the comments here. We're not mind-readers - we can only respond to what's posted.
For that matter, gawker put his shit in play too. I didn't use him as a cautionary tale out of the blue. Scroll up and you'll see his self confessed post about planning to give the electric bill money to the junkie.
As far as my own failings, I'm the first to admit to them. I've found a line short of "risking it all" by keeping things in the right context, which involves keeping my emotions separated from my penis. I do indeed spend too much and take way too many risks, so I've got my own issues to tackle. But that's not going to stop me from commenting when a guy says things that make it sound like he's considering something drastic. If you don't like that then lo siento senior.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion just like I'm entitled to mine even if understand everyone does not agree w/ me.
Thus I don't have an issue w/ you stating yours and contrary to some on here I do like your SC inputs since you are obviously a smart guy and have a lot of life experience.
It's just that most of the responders had the tact to not bring up the OP's family situation - this in contrast to Gawker's post where he puts everything out in the open (which I don't have a problem with).
It just came across to me that you were being overlycritical vs being helpful - and I do feel many on this post (and myself to an extent) extrapolated too-much based on the OP's wording w/o him explicitly stating what he would do.
Anyway - just my POV and if our POVs differ no worries.
Lol. My Rosetta Stone money seems all too wasted now. ;)
Look Papi, was I a bit of a dick in how I worded some of that post? No doubt, especially the gratuitous comment about his personality weaknesses.
But the underlying comment stems from a semi-decent place. Skilled operators are never more dangerous to any guy than they are to a lonely one who is hurting from problems on the homefront. More so than even to single lonely guys, who after a time become accustomed to being alone and learn to fend for themselves in a fashion. When a girl is saying all the things he wants to hear and seems within his own age range, it sounds like heaven in comparison to the shitty way his wife makes him feel every day. I've seen more than a few guys dive off the deep end in these situations.
So not only did I think the question was pertinent, but IMHO it was the most important one posed in this discussion. Lack of tact notwithstanding, he might be much better off analyzing why he is so vulnerable to SS now than going down the rabbit hole, which those of us who have done this for a long time knows has all too predictable results. That's just my opinion fwiw and I am not posting it just to be an asshole.
Fair play to all of my psycho-analysts out there. I'm still enjoying the responses even those that attack the perceived weakness in my personality. As I've stated many times before, I'm as interested in the psychological/social aspects of this life as I am the big booties.
I'm well aware of stripper shit, and have heard it laid thick upon me before, and cognizant enough to realize it was stripper shit. There have been better looking dancers, better dancing dancers & better bodied dancers to lay it down. And my home front situation was the same then as it was now. The question is: what happened on this occasion, what did she have to make me for the first time look down the rabbit hole? With all of the other strip club variables being the same, how/why did she pick the lock?
@RickDougan the whole comment about how our kids would look like, as I wrote in the OP I actually found to be a weird thing say. Didn't sucker me in with that line, but I threw it in the tome because it stood out as a new type of stripper shit.
Maybe you guys hear that one all the time, but new (& odd, almost boner poison) for me.
Flagooner posted: "That's a pretty effing creepy stripper."
On the contrary, that is a bright Grade A hustler who can read her target. That's a fantasy for certain married types - having beautiful children with a hot ass fun woman. She read her target well. At a certain point in my life, before I had my own beautiful children, I might have been thrown for a loop by that too.
One of the things I place into the category of "boner poison" is a dancer talking about children, whether they be mine, hers or the nightmare of knocking up a stripper & then postponing my child free home another 18 years.
Again I didn't fall for stripper shit, that didn't do it. But something picked a lock, and I'm trying to figure out what it was/how it happened.
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@25: Powerball, not a bad idea. Fantasize about winning & giving half to the wife as a severance package, and taking the other half to run off with a stripper. Not a bad idea at all.
I gotta hear the follow up on this one, please share after the next time you see her goose.
Maybe she's a Latina that needs her papers and thus her laying it on extra-thick :)
"... So I'm going there to try and clear this out of my head ..."
Sounds as good an idea as an alcoholic saying "ok one more night at the bar then I quit" :)
But - sometimes there is that genuine "it chick" like no-one else, so who knows - but then agan most women are good at manipulating men and some are SMEs (subject matter experts) - at best tread carefully and don't put the wagon ahead of the horse - take your time (only fools rush in).
How many of us have to bare our souls about how bad of an idea it is to fall in love with a stripper?
Proceed in your own risk. I can almost guarantee it will not end well. Those of us who have been there and done that have horror stories but everyone still thinks "it's different with me and her."
Run. Run as fast as you can and don't look back.
There will always be another stripper. They are a dime a dozen and next month there will be more. There is no end in the supply. I don't know what else we can do to spread our wisdom on this. The girls are about money and what you can do for them at the moment. Do not ever forget that.
So this is the first time a dancer offered you her number? Nowadays dancers are handing out their number to anyone that gets a dance from them.
How old are you? Is there a big age difference? If you were in your 50's, and she was in her 20's, then obviously it would be unrealistic that there would be any chance that she would be into you.
Lastly I say go for it. What do you have to lose? Go in with no expectations and see how things turn out. You only live once.
Second, like many of us, I've been where you are. I met a stripper in April 2016 and almost immediately fell in like / lust / love with her. After many VIPs over the summer, she kicked her loser BF (typical pot-smoking gamer) to the curb and we started "dating" -- for lots of money, of course.
Currently we're on a 2-month "break", our third in 14 months! When she needs money, she'll resume contact and we'll pick up where we left off.
Questions:
1. Are you married?
2. What's the age difference?
3. Is it love or just lust?
Advice:
A. If you're both single, and if the age difference isn't so great that you know she's just using you, go for it.
B. Don't lend or advance her -- or any stripper -- money EVER!
C. Don't fall in love with a stripper.
D. Repeat B and C to yourself as often as necessary.
The different thing is I'm not a conversationalist, I like dancers to be around me to be doing something i.e. giving me a dance. Her, I just liked being around her, and didn't want to leave her not in a sense of I want more lap dances, but like in my youthful days where a girl & I just clicked and we were just giddy around each other.
To answer some questions: Age difference, based on her face & demeanor doesn't appear to be too big.
I'm not rushing in or doing anything. Anyone who has read any of my posts or reviews knows that I'm very interested in studying the strip club world, just as a social phenomenon (plus I also like big bootys so that works for me too). So to me this is like a new experiment. I'm going to figure out my approach, and I'll report back the details so you all can get a good laugh at me.
Believe me I have laughed at posts like this before, shit I read the other long one posted recently, and I'm like look at this friggin rube. But here we are.
I'm not really going to destroy my entire world for a dancer who apparently just has magic game on me, but the fact that the thought crossed my mind is what is crazy.
I was in that spot for over a year and it was a great fantasy which criss-crossed between stripper shit and real feelings. I think she even got confused at several points. It was fun but it sets you up.for a hard fall when it ends. Good luck goosman.
Go for it Gooseman. I only dropped about $300,000 on her. You can probably do it for less.
But MrDeuce's advice is probably the more sensible.
Yeah, Bj99 is an thoughtful, super-cool contributor.
Some free advice:
(1) Falling in love with a prostitute is always a bad idea.
(2) Divorcing your wife because you fell in love with a prostitute is an even worse idea.
(3) If the the age difference is enormous (e.g. @Smith), you're living in, what us therapists call, a "second adolescence" and you should get help immediately.
Despite what Bj99 said, this real life, your life, you are not in a TV show or play.
Listen to JS69, it might be a worthy experience.
You can't loose or win if you don't play.
@Goosman-if you're married why would you even think about getting involved with a stripper? Marriage on the rocks? Are you joking?
As I've said on here several times, I think I'm lucky that most of my strip club adventures took place when I have been in LTRs, which frankly is most of my adult life. These have kept me grounded enough not to chew on SS too much, even back when I was more prone to do so in my younger days.
Apparently, your wife is not enough to keep you emotionally grounded. This is a problem that goes even deeper than your obvious personality weaknesses, including your need for affirmation and equally powerful desire to believe it when received. It is one thing to fuck another girl, which serial cheaters like me do all too frequently, but quite another to let your big head get fucked up by one.
Before you do what gawker did, which includes blowing his life savings on a heroin junkie and now facing the prospect of eating cat food in his elder years, you may want to take a step back and look carefully at what exactly is driving you here. Just a thought.
As of right now, she is far too thick to be a heroin junkie. As that tends to be more my type, I'd lose interest when the drugs took their effect.
I will keep you all updated on this fools errand.
-------------------------------------
LOL! @Dugan giving lectures on being emotionally grounded!
"... The most important question, and one that did not surface here, is this: What is going on at home that is leaving you so susceptible to basic SS ..."
Really Dr Phil - a person's personal life is PERSONAL - why are you sticking your nose in it and bringing it up on a PUBLIC FORUM when the OP himself didn't bring it up - seems like a way for you to throw another PL under the bus to make yourself look better.
"... Apparently, your wife is not enough to keep you emotionally grounded ..."
And we are to assume yours enough to keep you "grounded" and not be fucking drug-addicted whores in the wee hours of the morning.
Dugan - you - nor anyone else here - is in a position to ditch out criticism about others' activities.
I think we may be extrapolating too-much into the OP's post - he has not said anything about leaving his family to be w/ this stripper - and the OP subsequently clarified that he was well aware of everything at play - at best the OP may have used too-colorful/dramatic wording - I chuck up the OP's story to someone that has not been in the game too-long and met a stripper that rocked his world like many other PLs have, and that usually extrapolates to such stripper becoming a fave; not the PL running away and wifeing the bitch (although in rare cases that happens; but the OP is a TUSCLer and knows better) - IMO the OP was just perhaps a bit too exuberantly detailing a first-experience like some PLs are exuberant about detailing a first extras or OTC experience.
For that matter, gawker put his shit in play too. I didn't use him as a cautionary tale out of the blue. Scroll up and you'll see his self confessed post about planning to give the electric bill money to the junkie.
As far as my own failings, I'm the first to admit to them. I've found a line short of "risking it all" by keeping things in the right context, which involves keeping my emotions separated from my penis. I do indeed spend too much and take way too many risks, so I've got my own issues to tackle. But that's not going to stop me from commenting when a guy says things that make it sound like he's considering something drastic. If you don't like that then lo siento senior.
Thus I don't have an issue w/ you stating yours and contrary to some on here I do like your SC inputs since you are obviously a smart guy and have a lot of life experience.
It's just that most of the responders had the tact to not bring up the OP's family situation - this in contrast to Gawker's post where he puts everything out in the open (which I don't have a problem with).
It just came across to me that you were being overlycritical vs being helpful - and I do feel many on this post (and myself to an extent) extrapolated too-much based on the OP's wording w/o him explicitly stating what he would do.
Anyway - just my POV and if our POVs differ no worries.
"lo siento senior" -> "lo siento señor"
Look Papi, was I a bit of a dick in how I worded some of that post? No doubt, especially the gratuitous comment about his personality weaknesses.
But the underlying comment stems from a semi-decent place. Skilled operators are never more dangerous to any guy than they are to a lonely one who is hurting from problems on the homefront. More so than even to single lonely guys, who after a time become accustomed to being alone and learn to fend for themselves in a fashion. When a girl is saying all the things he wants to hear and seems within his own age range, it sounds like heaven in comparison to the shitty way his wife makes him feel every day. I've seen more than a few guys dive off the deep end in these situations.
So not only did I think the question was pertinent, but IMHO it was the most important one posed in this discussion. Lack of tact notwithstanding, he might be much better off analyzing why he is so vulnerable to SS now than going down the rabbit hole, which those of us who have done this for a long time knows has all too predictable results. That's just my opinion fwiw and I am not posting it just to be an asshole.
I'm well aware of stripper shit, and have heard it laid thick upon me before, and cognizant enough to realize it was stripper shit. There have been better looking dancers, better dancing dancers & better bodied dancers to lay it down. And my home front situation was the same then as it was now. The question is: what happened on this occasion, what did she have to make me for the first time look down the rabbit hole? With all of the other strip club variables being the same, how/why did she pick the lock?
Maybe you guys hear that one all the time, but new (& odd, almost boner poison) for me.
"She's talking about how beautiful our children would be..."
That’s a pretty effing creepy stripper.
Even though I've had the snip job, that kind of talk would be a bonerous killer.
On the contrary, that is a bright Grade A hustler who can read her target. That's a fantasy for certain married types - having beautiful children with a hot ass fun woman. She read her target well. At a certain point in my life, before I had my own beautiful children, I might have been thrown for a loop by that too.
Again I didn't fall for stripper shit, that didn't do it. But something picked a lock, and I'm trying to figure out what it was/how it happened.