Letting go of favs

Be honest. Tell her all relationships like the one you two had come with an expiration date as there can never be a future and the two of you have hit yours.

It's least weird if you keep her as a friend, and just get more dances w other girls. Tip her only when no one else is, to be nice, and occasionally get a dance, or buy her a drink. That's if you like her at all.

My club has a lot of regulars and it is normal for them to move over to a sort of friend zone after awhile, as new costumers come in, and new girls catch their interest. It's just how it is. You could mention that you liked her natural lips, but it would be kinda hurtful to tell her it's why you aren't attracted to her anymore.

That depends on who dumps who. If I'm the one getting dumped, I just get back up on the horse and move on. If I'm dumping her, I try just ignoring her. If she confronts me with why, then telling the truth, like it or not, is the final word

Gradually cut back on the number of dances per visit. She'll get the message and move on to greener pastures.

You just tell her that your preferences have changed. She might not like to hear that, but she isn't going to like any answer that you give her anyway if it involves no longer paying her.

Tendencies towards conflict avoidance and worrying about what dancers think of you are not great are not terribly helpful in a strip club environment. You need to worry about your own entertainment more and her feelings less. After all, it's not like she's going to be the next Mrs. Fisherman anyway and I somehow doubt that your invitation to her next BBQ or kids birthday party is on its way. Just cut bait and if she gets dramatic, blow her off.

Give her contact information to SJG.

Eventually, she'll disappear into his windowless white van and you'll never see her again.

It's another good reason to always get some dances from other girls, even if you have a favorite. It makes it a lot easier when it's time to move on.

As per Rick, I think perseverating on what the stripper thinks, conflict avoidance, worry that she'll ask you "why?" and what you'll say, is itself a bad sign. My usual rule is to be transparent about not wanting to see her anymore, to leave things less confusing. "It was awesome hanging out with you, but I'd like to experience some of the other girls, thanks for the fun times" is along the lines of what I'd go with, in most cases.

There's no reason to say anything that could hurt her feelings; she may well already feel a bit sensitive about the lips. No, I do not mention the lips. BTW, I can't remember what you said about the lips, but if they're injections, they get re-absorbed little by little over the coming months... unless she's getting them retouched on an ongoing basis

'Gradually cut back on the number of dances per visit.'

Yeah, cut back to zero. Why spend a single thin dime on a girl you're not interested in? She's a stripper and you're a loser; you owe her nothing, no dances, no drinks, no explanations. However, a decent loser would simply say that their interests have changed.

I wish you'd let this board go.

"I'm sure we have all let go of favs over the years for many reasons..."

Am I missing something?

I thought @LarryDipshit said he just started hitting SCs about a year and a half ago. But apparently he's been letting go of his favorite for years now.

Oh, yeah, I almost forgot....

LARRY, YOU ARE FULL OF SHIT AND I DON'T BELIEVE A THING YOU WRITE.

I had a situation where a gorgeous fav didn't like FIV or DFK, at a club where those extras were widely available. After lots of tries to get what I wanted, just started spending time talking to her, but cut way back on dances. As wise Bj99 suggests, maintained routine of always connecting with multiple dancers during visits to that club.

Along the lines of what Subra said, something like "I've gotten lots of dances from you in the past and I wanna get w/ other girls" (kinda letting her down easy).

w.r.t. her lips, yeah not nice to point out other people's shortcomings but perhaps telling her will make her aware she made a wrong decision and either gets it corrected or avoids from going further.

"you're a loser" No I'm a PL

How can a fav dump you? (unless you have a OTC relationship with her and she decides to stop seeing you OTC) I don't think she would stop taking your money ITC.

@Rick- I'm a nice guy, I care about other people's feelings. I try to treat strippers like regular women, and she has been very good to me.

@Subra- she said she gets her lips retouched every few months.

I like Subra's answer the best. The problem is even when she was a fav of mine, I was still getting dances from other girls in the club, so she knows I like other girls. Telling her I wanna try out new girls is something I've already been doing all along.

i disagree Larry. Starting the day the Ravens kicked the patriots ass in a playoff came a number of years ago and going on for three years my ATF not only wouldn't take a cent from me (last ditch effort I dropped 20 on the stage when she was dancing for zero customers and she left it there) but she didn't say a word to me or acknowledge my presence even if we were on adjoining barstools. Last week I saw guy on his phone walk over, put some money on the stage and motion her over as he went back to his seat and she left that there until he put his phone away and sat at the stage, picked it up and tipped her. Still cracks me up because it was as a result of saying I'd do dances later and then changing my mind and going with another.

@papi- I doubt one person (me) telling her that I don't like it will make her reconsider things. Now if a lot of people are telling her that, then she might think things over.

@skibum- I don't know the circumstance, but I'm guessing something you did made her very upset?

I usually tip a former CF/regular on stage, but otherwise keep it really light.

I don't remember any asking for an explanation, but at times I have offered one when they ask for a dance if it seemed salvageable. If you treat every question at the club as warranting a full answer and explanation, you might be doing it wrong. The simplest answer is probably shrug, I just want to mix it up some.

I dumped one fav when she started miscounting dances and being pushy for more after I said that was as many dances as we were doing that day.

There was a brand new dancer that I had broken in who was a lot hotter and a lot nicer person to boot.

She got phased out for the most part (I still to a couple of dances with her on occasion) after she introduced me to the woman who became my ATF. The next time I came in, she told me, "You should do some dances with her!"

+Rep shailynn & flagooner.

Larry's approach to women is rong.

@ppwh- I like that approach, I don't have a problem still tipping her on stage.

Isn't it better just to cut it off completely - isn't tipping her sorta sending mixed signals

I would go to other clubs, for a while. But a young nice guy like Larry should not be spending so much time and money in strip clubs.

In the civilian world one has to let go of girls often.

SJG

Belly Dance youtube.com

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amazon.com

HHHHHMMMMM....well I recently let go of my 2 year OTC fav because she got a serious BF that she wants to make things work with, according to her and facebook. But she wants to go back to getting regular dances from her in the club like I did before we did our thing on the outside. So I told her after two years of seeing her OTC the dances just don't do the same for me as they used to.

Once you're seeing the girl outside, cannot ever go back to ITC.

SJG

Viva Maria ! - Générique : L'Irlandaise (Georges Delerue) youtu.be

Yeah butterman I completely understand. After OTC for 2 years there's no way I could just go back to doing regular dances.

@sjg- I'm not gonna stay away from that club, there's too many other girls I like at that club.

Larry hiwbwould you know? You've never even done OTC before

SanJoseLloydSchoene never lets them go, that is why he buys so much chain and ball gags.

Okay. I know he has me on ignore, but what is with this pathological liar.

Below is a link to Larry's first post that I called him out on. That was 16 months ago, but now he says he has been seeing this particular dancer OTC for 2 years. According to his post he was in Detroit with a girlfriend and didn't go to strip clubs as recently as September 2015.

tuscl.net

@Papi_Chulo, I agree that there are times to not stage tip to avoid sending mixed signals, like when a dancer doesn't take a hint easily. In those cases, I refrain from stage tipping until it seems like she has picked up on it.

Most of my CFs have picked up on this kind of thing pretty readily, though. When it's time to move on, saying "I'm good for tonight" and getting a dance from someone else is pretty hard to misinterpret.

The circumstances when I would stop stage tipping a former CF or regular would be if she was overtly nasty or did something like grossly miscounting dances.

When it is just that am not as interested any more, though, they seem to correctly interpret stage tipping like how Bj99 described as moving into more of a friend zone. Ie., I still like them, but they're not who I am looking for a dance from that night. In those cases, when they get off stage, they generally sit down with someone who might be an actual dance prospect, even if I was the only one who tipped during that set. In other words, it a token of respect for her/what once was and is more fun than trying to not look her way especially if it's a smaller club or slower shift.

Typically, they just offer a friendly word or an interesting piece of intel while I'm there at the stage to tip. It also keeps the door open for a dance or two on an off night when there is no other dancer I am even remotely interested in.

The bottom line, of course, is that they were CFs and not GFs. I think it's for the best that couples' counseling isn't a thing at strip clubs.

I "sorta" had a favorite. More like she was the best of a bad situation during the down period of the dive I go to. Once better looking women started coming along, I was nice to her but just told her I wasn't interested. It was awkward since I saw her especially when I wasn't sitting with anyone. I think I got off easy because since I go sparingly these days, though she had an excellent memory since she remembers even after a year hiatus so if I ever see her again, I'd tell her I'm more interested in other women but still be nice enough to have a drink with her.

Larry, too many other girls you like at that club?

Well, yes such clubs can be like being a kid in a candy store. They feel like that.

Oh well, you can't really have much of a relationship with any of them until you are at least partially ready to focus on just one, for a while.

Maybe find a favorite at another club, one you don't need to keep finding more girls from.

SJG

Russia's Lost Princess youtube.com