I'm Smitten. . . .

LecherousMonk
Mom's basement
OMG, OMG, OMG, you guys! I'm like totally gaga for this new (to me) dancer: a blonde-haired, green/hazel-eyed, 110-120 lb., 20-year-old white girl with 36 C cups, 34-36-inch hips, a cute, little pixie haircut and not a single tattoo or piercing. She spits a good game--talked my ear off, but I didn't mind--and gave me unlimited mileage excepting the kitty in the lap dance booth, which is actually a rarity in this club. Of course, she tried to charge me an extra song, but I ain't even mad. Strippers gonna stripper.

Here's the problem: I just barely resisted her VIP hustle (it's $250 here, and who knows what that entails), and only because I didn't have that much on me or in my account. You see, I shouldn't even have been at da club because I'm a 30-year-old man with no job or job experience living in his parents' house. I really put the P in PL. . . . And thus we come to the sad conclusion of this aimless tale (my apologies, but it's important to get emotions on paper quickly, logical coherence be damned), which is a plea for help. I can't afford, financially or morally, to continue patronizing these dens of ill repute. Does anyone have any advice on how to strengthen one's will against that temptation?

PS She's coming to clubs in Put-in-Bay, Ohio, and Myrtle Beach, S.C., this spring/summer for any interested PL's.

25 comments

Latest

ATACdawg
8 years ago
Sure! Sit down with your parents and tell them you need money for this girl at the strip club! They'll understand!

Please tell us when and where you do this, because a lot of us would like to watch.....;-)

But hey, that should certainly help your willpower!
LecherousMonk
8 years ago
Not sure how to interpret your tone. . . .
ATACdawg
8 years ago
Purely irony, Lech. No offense intended.
Papi_Chulo
8 years ago
Why don't you focus and motivate yourself to get gainfully employed that way you can enjoy the clubs - you are young and have a long life ahead of you, hou just need to get started
Ch3ll
8 years ago
I'd recommend to avoid the strip club to watch porn. Unless you're strong willed and can vary up your clubs and only pay entrance fee and have a beer or ice water (hopefully free where you're at).

Then go out and find employment even if it's fast food, department store, what have you. Finish a degree or certification one class at a time. And, most here might strongly disagree with this one, but get $50 - $100 and deposit on some online poker site and grind you up a bankroll in your spare time.

Good luck.
mmdv26
8 years ago
Borrow the money from your folks. Take this princess to VIP. Do BBFS. Knock her up. Then be a stay-at-home baby daddy, and let her bring home the money. After a while see if she would reward your high quality baby daddyness by sending some of her dancer pals over to see you while she's at work. Maybe start dealing drugs so you can bring in some cash of your own. When she throws you out, get a job at a SC as a bouncer or bathroom troll...or even DJ. The man upstairs has a plan for you; act on it!
serrano
8 years ago
If you 30 you are very young. If you are reasonably good look, you should having no problem find many similar girl for fuck friendship on Tinder. It is free and work; the young men at my office speak of it always.

Enjoy your youth now before you age like us tuscl PL and end up have to pay $$$$$$$$ to enjoy time with young girl.
shailynn
8 years ago
DUDE!!!!!

I always took you for an older guy.

Forget this girl for now and put all your efforts on finding employment. Anywhere or anything is better than what you're doing now.
GoVikings
8 years ago
man, your description of this girl is fantastic---sounds hot---and i don't even like blondes
larryfisherman
8 years ago
Focus on getting a job right now.
Jascoi
8 years ago
monk. yer screwed. now you gotta make enough to entice her.
jackslash
8 years ago
Become a drug dealer. It's an easy job to get, and strippers will love you.
Tiredtraveler
8 years ago
Become her boyfriend and let her support you!
rockstar666
8 years ago
I'm not sure which will lead to a bigger disaster: a poor man falling in love with a stripper or a rich man falling in love with a stripper.
rockstar666
8 years ago
TT has the best advice: Be her b/f or marry her, and then being unemployed will fit right in.
flagooner
8 years ago
SJG can probably give the best advice to someone living in their parents' basement.

(I can't believe I just touted SJG's advice.)
JuiceBox69
8 years ago
I agree with papi and Shaylynn
JohnSmith69
8 years ago
What a nightmare, to meet a DS and not be able to afford her.
LecherousMonk
8 years ago
Re the advice to get a job: I know. I'm trying to make myself try, but it's depressing. I have a degree, but it's worthless, so I'm essentially qualified for teenager jobs, only I'm a 30-year-old obese man. I just want to live alone at some point in my life before the heart attack or stroke takes me in the next few years.
LecherousMonk
8 years ago
. . . And I forgot to say thank you, for the advice. Thanks!
twentyfive
8 years ago
Man you sound like you need some help no disrespect intended but go see someone a councilor or psychiatrist you don't need to be in this condition
GoVikings
8 years ago
it won't be easy, but the obstacles you mentioned in this thread are not things you can't overcome (eventually)---especially being that you're only 30 yrs old.

so like tupac said, keep your head up!

PS: hopefully you stick around because you write awesome reviews!
JohnSmith69
8 years ago
Now I'm depressed.
Papi_Chulo
8 years ago
@ monk:

There is a saying that says "80 percent of life is showing up".

Not to be taken literally but meaning one often has to get the ball-rolling - one can't get a base-hit if one does not even bother to pick up the bat and go to the plate.

None of us are in your shoes and don't know what you've been thru or are going thru - but rarely in life do things just fall on one's lap - we all need to put ourselves in the best position to succeed and the biggest part of that is just trying one's best and always getting up and trying again - failing is part of life but not a reason to not try - most of us have setbacks and things to overcome - some all-time great quotes/advice:

"Giving up is the only sure way to fail"

"There is no failure except in no longer trying"

"I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work” - Thomas A. Edison

"Pain is temporary. Quitting lasts forever"

“Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm” - Winston Churchill

"I’d rather be partly great than entirely useless”

“The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing” - Henry Ford

“Winners are not afraid of losing. But losers are. Failure is part of the process of success. People who avoid failure also avoid success”

“It’s not how far you fall, but how high you bounce that counts.” - Zig Ziglar

"A setback is a setup for a comeback"

http://www.forbes.com/sites/ekaterinawal…


A cute little commercial about optimism:

http://www.values.com/inspirational-stor…


"Rome wasn't built in a day" - plenty of people have, and overcome, negative circumstances - start eating right and exercising - you won't change your life overnight but "it's not where you are but where you're headed that is most important" - you seem like a good guy and thus must have good qualities and there is something you were meant to be other than overweight and unemployed - don't let past failures keep you from not becoming who you can be and were meant to be.
LecherousMonk
8 years ago
Thanks for the inspiration, Papi. Right now, the light at the end of the tunnel is too far away to see, but I'm imagining it as I walk that way.
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