We've all been there: Get a nice spot by the bar, order a drink and then notice at the corner of your eye a 5 or below make a beeline for the seat next to you. You try and not make eye contact in the hopes that she will "shake off the fishing line" but to no avail. She pulls up next to you, starts rubbing you and parks herself right on your elbow. What is the most effective way/line to get her to unhook without being too blunt (unless being blunt is your modus operandi). How can you let her know you are waiting for the 8+ girl, or that you wouldn't let her dance on you if she paid?
Problem is many times they dont just ask for a dance. They first sit near you to chat thinking she will eventually get you into a dance. How do you explain to her she is wasting your time before she even brings up the dance topic?
I tell them "I just wanna chill by myself for a while" or "I just wanna chill and watch the stage" - if that doesn't work I tell them "I'm gonna walk the floor" and get up and leave then come back to the seat a few minutes later - this is usually enough to make it clear you are not interested.
Most of this can be avoided if dancers ask if you would like some company rather than invade your space uninvited.
Mulaney, you have to be direct. You can do so without being a dick. I'll usually smile and say hello back. If they introduce themselves, I'll introduce myself too. Then, that's it for me. I'll be direct and say "I don't want to waste your time, so I just want you to know that I'm not going to buy any dances. It was nice meeting you though and I hope you have a good night." That always gets them to leave and isn't completely rude.
It never ceases to amaze me tha a teenager in her underwear intimidates a grown man. If she is rude enough to invade your space without permission you can be rude right back. If she approaches in a respectful manner than you need to.be respectful right back. How is this a real conversation?
TWENTYFIVE - Intimidate? I think you are taking liberties with your assumptions. Not wanting to tell her to fuck off, specifically when she has the right to reasonable assumption that I want company.. you now being that i AM in a strip club....dont get that twisted with intimidation. Its about not trying to be a total asshat. Obviously if she is pushy and rude I would be blunt. But thats not what the discussion is about.
I will look at the intruder; smile and say: "I know you're working and I don't want to waste your time so I will tell you up[ front that I am not buying you a drink or getting dances with you. Thank you though". If they ask why I look them in the eye and say: "the answer costs $25.00". I then turn away.
I often have some frump come to me when I'm waiting for my CF. She's pretty good in that she walk by me and smile and I say, Oh, here she is now!" and since my CF is a veteran with lots of regulars, she'll so hunt greener pastures. I always thank my CF as if she did me a huge favor.
It gets stickier if it's not a frump but a really hot girl! LOL My CF isn't bad about me checking out the action but when my ex-ATF quit, I never saw a happier dancer in my life!
I'm pretty gentle with honeys. The bar is open seating so if she wants to sit and chat have at it. The whole time I will be watching and chatting with other dancers which would include getting up to stage tip etc... They soon get the message and move on. If I'm sitting at a table, I tell them I'm waiting for another dancer which I usually am.
The passive-aggressive type approaches -- which, like 25, I sometimes ascribe to being a bit intimidated, or at least desperately seeking not to offend -- such as excusing yourself to go to the bathroom and not returning, or "I'm waiting for someone" (even though you're not) or "I have no money" -- do appear to work pretty often, with minimal confrontation... although the girls know exactly what you're up to, they view it as weak, and sometimes it backfires and a particularly mean girl will fuck with you over it.
I don't do the passive aggressive approaches, partly because I'm just plain not wired to dicktuck over such a small and easily-handled interaction, and partly because I just don't see a need to. If she comes up to me and I want to turn her down, smile, EYE CONTACT, "No thanks, but thank you anyway!". Sometimes, if I really am waiting for someone, I'll let her know that I"m waiting for Porsche. If she just comes up and starts talking, I'll talk with her for a little bit (I never mind talking and getting to know a stripper for a moment), and if I still don't want to talk to her, smile, eye contact, "hey listen, I'm not going to be buying dances and I don't want to waste your time, but thanks for stopping by anyway. I'll come grab you if I change my mind." Although sometimes, I talk to the girl and decide she's kind fun, and if I have no other prospects, "hey, I'm not buying dances, but if you want to hang out for a few minutes I'd be happy to buy you a drink".
All of these situations are zero-stress situations for me, I don't desperately avoid eye contact, I don't sweat turning her down, and my goal is send her off but keep the door open in case I change my mind someday, or if I come in with a buddy and he wants her. If this is not an easily-handled, zero-stress situation for you, it's always worth examining why, IMO.
@MULANEY I jus like everyone else here make assumptions based on what is said by the OP. I basically said that I will respond to her the same way she approaches me either nicely or not. This subject has been discussed ad nauseum if you aren't intimidated why is this a topic of your convo. If you weren't intimidated you wouldn't be seeking approval and I am telling you just act the same way to her as she does to you.
What Subraman said. Anyone who has clubbed for a minute should be able to figure out how to fend off unwanted visitors without being a dick. With a combination of firmness, tact, and friendliness, it's possible to get them to move along while keeping the door open to future interaction.
I tell em you make me want to say the n word. 'No!' Then I tell them 'if youre polite and get it Ill be a gentleman and say thank you.' If they still dont get it I say 'save my seat im gonna talk to a bouncer.'
Definitely being tactfully forthright is best as others have mentioned.
I have also noticed tipping the dancer who is on-stage being something that can tend to get rid of whoever was sitting next to me, sometimes even when I didn't want it to (obviously handing the one sitting with you a dollar to join you in stage tipping avoids this)
It's hard for the dancer sitting next to you or anyone else to think that you're her territory if you spend some time at the stage to not just tip the dancer on-stage $1, but also stick around to tip her another $1.
As an added bonus, you can expect that the other dancers might add you to their list of guys spending money that night. Way better than risking a bathroom troll ;)
Twentyfive: "It never ceases to amaze me tha a teenager in her underwear intimidates a grown man."
Subraman: "I don't do the passive aggressive approaches, partly because I'm just plain not wired to dicktuck over such a small and easily-handled interaction, and partly because I just don't see a need to. ... All of these situations are zero-stress situations for me, I don't desperately avoid eye contact, I don't sweat turning her down."
^ Yep. :) Seriously, OP, learn to guard your space and learn to have a little fun with them. The convo's free. Have fun with it.
If some variant of "spit or swallow?" doesn't produce the desired result (because a 5 or 6 can be a perfectly acceptable fellatrix), then some variant of Subraman's approach. If that doesn't work, then "fuck off bitch!"
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"I'm waiting for someone else"
"you're not my type"
Most of this can be avoided if dancers ask if you would like some company rather than invade your space uninvited.
Everyone wins this way.
I don't get blocked by a hag.
At the same time it is actually more respectful to her as it allows her not to waste her time. She can then disengage and search for another paycheck.
It gets stickier if it's not a frump but a really hot girl! LOL My CF isn't bad about me checking out the action but when my ex-ATF quit, I never saw a happier dancer in my life!
If they don't get the hint after being told all the polite things, I've found that being blunt is okay.
"I'll let you know when I'm looking for some company" usuallydoes the trick.
I don't do the passive aggressive approaches, partly because I'm just plain not wired to dicktuck over such a small and easily-handled interaction, and partly because I just don't see a need to. If she comes up to me and I want to turn her down, smile, EYE CONTACT, "No thanks, but thank you anyway!". Sometimes, if I really am waiting for someone, I'll let her know that I"m waiting for Porsche. If she just comes up and starts talking, I'll talk with her for a little bit (I never mind talking and getting to know a stripper for a moment), and if I still don't want to talk to her, smile, eye contact, "hey listen, I'm not going to be buying dances and I don't want to waste your time, but thanks for stopping by anyway. I'll come grab you if I change my mind." Although sometimes, I talk to the girl and decide she's kind fun, and if I have no other prospects, "hey, I'm not buying dances, but if you want to hang out for a few minutes I'd be happy to buy you a drink".
All of these situations are zero-stress situations for me, I don't desperately avoid eye contact, I don't sweat turning her down, and my goal is send her off but keep the door open in case I change my mind someday, or if I come in with a buddy and he wants her. If this is not an easily-handled, zero-stress situation for you, it's always worth examining why, IMO.
I have also noticed tipping the dancer who is on-stage being something that can tend to get rid of whoever was sitting next to me, sometimes even when I didn't want it to (obviously handing the one sitting with you a dollar to join you in stage tipping avoids this)
It's hard for the dancer sitting next to you or anyone else to think that you're her territory if you spend some time at the stage to not just tip the dancer on-stage $1, but also stick around to tip her another $1.
As an added bonus, you can expect that the other dancers might add you to their list of guys spending money that night. Way better than risking a bathroom troll ;)
Subraman: "I don't do the passive aggressive approaches, partly because I'm just plain not wired to dicktuck over such a small and easily-handled interaction, and partly because I just don't see a need to. ... All of these situations are zero-stress situations for me, I don't desperately avoid eye contact, I don't sweat turning her down."
^ Yep. :) Seriously, OP, learn to guard your space and learn to have a little fun with them. The convo's free. Have fun with it.