Meet the Boyfriend
jackslash
Detroit strip clubs
The dude looked like he was in his 30's (about 30 years younger than me). His arms and neck were covered with tattoos--stars, crosses, hearts, a skull, a dagger. The tattoos were crudely drawn in black ink, perhaps created by a prison artist rather than professional tattooist. The young man was a few inches taller than me, thin, and muscular.
I politely inquired, "Is Jenna home?"
He said, "Yeah. Come on in."
I walked into the apartment and stood there awkwardly. The young man said, "I'm Donnie. I know about you and Jenna. I'm cool with it." He then went over to where Jenna's toddler Todd was playing, carried the boy over to a table, and changed his diaper.
After a few minutes Jenna emerged from the bedroom. She told Donnie she would be home after 6PM, and told him to call her if the baby had any problems.
I had many questions for Jenna--like "What the fuck is going on?"--although I did not phrase it so bluntly. She had previously told me about her baby daddy Donnie, saying that he cared only about playing video games and getting high and that he had never paid a dime in child support. He did not have a job nor a home, crashing with relatives or friends or in vacant houses.
Jenna explained that her regular babysitter had canceled on her, and so she was paying Donnie to watch their son while she went out with me. She let him visit his son when he wanted and this would help her out.
I did not know how much of this I should believe. I don't think Donnie is living with her--or at least he hasn't been living with her in the past. I've spent time in her apartment and have not seen any evidence of a dude living there.
However, Donnie appeared to me to be much more presentable than drugged-out loser she had told me about. Does she sometimes let him stay with her and have sex with her? Probably.
I don't have any right to object to her sexual partners. I'm not the father of her child like Donnie, and I'm not her only customer. But I did not like to think about her fucking Donnie.
The thing I disliked most about her boyfriend was that he is better looking than me. Of course he is much younger than me, but even when I was in my 30's I was not as good looking as him. She must enjoy fucking him more than she enjoys fucking me, and this makes me pathetically jealous.
Have any of you had experiences meeting your stripper's boyfriend?
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We are all fools to think that these strippers aren't banging other guys, even the younger PLs on here as well.
I often suspected my retired ATF who wanted me to marry her banged guys on the sly, who am I to complain? I'm freaking married myself.
It's part of the reality but we don't like it thrown in our face. In your case (jackslash) had the baby sitter not cancelled you would of met her at the door instead of the baby daddy. Maybe take it as a compliment, she thinks enough of you that meeting her baby daddy wouldn't rattle an old vet like yourself. Or, she's just too dumb to know any better.
Ignoring all that, I know my strippers are fucking other guys, for free. As a theoretical concept, that doesn't bother me at all. More than a few times, I've had CFs with whom I'd trade sex stories, with no jealousy on either side. Sometimes, when it becomes more real to me, often it's a don't-care, but once in a while I'm surprised to find that it bothers me. Some years back, I had an ATF, and we often swapped our "real life" sex stories, I loved to hear about her sex life and she pretended to love to hear about mine. But then one day, she told me that she might fuck the guy who worked at the restaurant down the street. And THAT bothered me. I knew that guy -- he was younger than me, but even 15 years older I think I'm more handsome than he is, and I blew him away when I was his age, and SHE'S GOING TO FUCK HIM FOR FREE WHEN SHE CHARGES ME MONEY. Again, I was a little surprised, we'd always traded sex stories, but this one got me -- she's gonna fuck an ugly (to me) guy for free. Weird.
It wasn't until she surreptitiously ditched the boyfriend in August by moving out of their apartment into another one that I agreed to meet her OTC. Because she has told me that she needs sex every day, I have no doubt that she is fucking other people for free. Honestly I'm not crazy about it, but it comes with the territory -- I just don't want to hear about it.
If I ever went to her (or any stripper's) house and encountered a dude at the door, I would leave immediately and never see her again.
What is convenient trumps what is "right"
I find out the next night, as I am waiting for CF to come out to car for our normal OTC date, that bf moved out that day. CF said he agreed with her that he could not compete, so he had to go. Almost 3 months later, everything is the same except no bf and OTC is at her home while kids are at school.
That being said, tell her of your displeasure. Don't get nasty about it or anything, but let her know.
I completely agree with the safety concern issue. Were I to be greeted at the door by anyone other than my date, I wouldn't say any more than "I think I have the wrong address -- so sorry" and would immediately leave. I probably wouldn't go through with the date at that point, either, even if she came outside chasing after me.
I'd want to know the girl had how she manages her affairs.
SJG
I'd be taken aback too only because it came as a surprise.
My best OTC experiences have been with dancers with a steady BF or GF.
Dancers with no BF or GF - sex is exceptional but exit is not smooth.
I know a lot of the money I blew on her supported his habit and I especially enjoyed her when he spent 18 months in state prison. I'm aware of two occasions when he slapped her around and he literally dragged her into the gutter once when he was on probation. He got sent back to finish his sentence after that.
He threatened me one time and I reminded him that A & B on an elderly person is a felony and he backed off.
I know she dreams of getting sober and living happily ever after with him, but he's got a 21 year old GF whose a college student and doesn't do drugs, so he may opt out on her drama and their co-dependence.
He's a sexual athlete when sober and she likes it a little rough from him. With me there's no indication of that as her behavior sexually is very different with "customers" as opposed to lovers and she's very up front about it.
I also have become very aware that my relationship with my ATF has slowly becoming more of a parenting role ( according to her mother, she's 31 going on 16) than fuckbuddie. Such is life
Anyway, as I was leaving, I stopped and said to her, I had enjoyed our talk about music (truthful). She said the same and introduced him to me as her BF. BIG SOB! I am happy we never had a run in, although when she left him and confided in me, I wanted one, but preferred to stay out of jail.
As @Jester and @Mikeya point out, it's the kid who's the victim in all this. Worst case, he might grow up thinking that men can get high and play video games, while women are the responsible ones who do the providing. Dysfunctional patterns sometimes get passed on to the next generation. OTOH, I had a long-term experience with a dancer single-mom, and she was a pretty terrific, loving, mother.