Epic Fail: Taking a Civie Girl to a Strip Club
shailynn
They never tell you what you need to know.
I have been seeing a divorced MILF for several months. We live several hours apart and meet one weekend night once a month and have wall to wall sex in a hotel somewhere between her home and mine. We have really crossed a lot of sexual boundaries and crossed off several sexual fantasies on our "sex bucket list." There's really nothing too taboo and on top of that we really get along well.
I had to go away to a large city I don't get to visit often and invited her. I brought up the idea to her and she had already booked her flight before I even booked mine. We met up Friday night, and since we go so hard sexually and this time had 2 nights together I suggested we go out on Friday night and party. We needed it since we both had a really stressful week at work. We went out for a nice dinner, and had a bottle of wine and a drink, so when we left the restaurant we were pretty toasty. Instead of going back to the hotel or going to a nearby club that seemed like a nice spot, I had the bright idea that I would take her to a strip club and not tell her about it.
After all, she had talked about going to strip clubs several times with male co-workers in her town because they were nice places with great lunch buffets. Walking in, she still didn't even know where I was taking while I was paying the cover and she didn't realize it until we walked in the main room. We sat down and I could see the look in her eye, my coolness cred went down 10 points immediately. It was a somewhat divey place (to her) but most PLs on here (including me) would be fine with it. It stunk of smoke (both of us are non-smokers) and there were about 15 dancers running around. 3 stunners (which none were near us) and a bunch of 5's near us.
The one time I needed a waitress more than ever to keep feeding us shots, and we only got served once in the 30 minutes we were there. I wanted to go to the bar to grab more drinks but didn't want to leave her. She finally saw an attractive stripper and said 'man she's hot' but by then I could tell the magic was gone and I needed to get her out of there ASAP. If the waitress would have serviced us more it may have salvaged the trip but that's a big "if." I didn't have high expectations but I was thinking she would have some laughs and we would buy each other a few table dances and that's it. I think with my civvie friend, going in there she immediately started feeling a little intimidated by girls running around naked. She said if it were a more upscale club we probably would have had a better time. I doubt it!
She asked me "why did you think I'd want to come to a strip club?" and I said "well I thought it would make both of us horny and you mentioned you've been to them before," and then she asked "you never talk about them, do you regularly go to them?" I responded "Uh no, I don't."
Live and learn, she is one of the only two women I have been around (that has not been a stripper) that I would think I would have a chance at taking to a club and her enjoying or tolerating it. I was wrong! Luckily it was a running joke the rest of the weekend and she wasn't mad.
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If there is one thing that you NEVER do, its bringing an uninitiated straight civvie chick to a stripclub without telling her first! I'm soooooooo disappointed in you, shailynn. *smh*
This is something I probably won't revisit with her again. Next time I'll have her dress slutty and go to a normal club.
Though personally I would only take a civvie if they asked and even then I'm not sure I would do it.
To me that translated to "oh she'd be fine in a strip club," man was I wrong!
I need to translate that better like "I love going out to eat with my boss, because I get some personal time with him and he picks up the tab," but that doesn't mean I'm calling him on a Saturday night asking if he'd like to go out to eat with me.
Rock on Juice!
Several members have physically met me on here, how many member have met you?
Minimally, women like to plan their outfits and makeup.
I've taken two civies to the SC. The first seemed cool about it at first, but wanted to be dressed up before she went. The visit was okay, but short.
The second civie I took was tonight and she was all for it. She wanted me to get dances so she could watch. That threw me for a loop, so I just played it cool and kept my hands to myself. Also, luckily her choice of girls existed at a club I'm not known as a regular at so even better for me. After we left, I could see she genuinely had a good time when she told me she had a good time.
There's been posts b/f about taking newbs to SCs & how that's backfired even though they were guys - I guess something as unconventional as a SC is something that one does not spring on someone w/o asking first - I guess yiu sorta rolled the dice & u were hoping she'd really be into it but it was a pretty-big gamble the way hou went about it - SCs are a niche taste for most people and even more-so for a straight female - in a case like this one needs to make sure they go to the most-upscale SC possible that almost looks like a glorified nightclub.
So it's all ace! :)
It sounds like she made the best of it after, but you're being naive if you think that it will all blow over that easy. She's not going to forget this and it will likely color how she thinks of you moving forward.
Let me explain. This woman is a freak. Since I met her, I've tied her up, light torture, golden showers, public sex, outfits, toy play, squirting, video taped, etc etc etc. she wants to do a threesome, so I wasnt out of line taking her to a club as she has talked about them in the past.
Where I fucked up was not telling her where we were going in advance and not taking her to a high end club. I chose this club because it was known for being couples friendly and because it was close to our hotel. Live and learn.
Oh no that's the kiss of death. Never thought about surprising someone with a strip club visit, but thanks for the story and reinforce never to do it. Women are always competing with each other more so than for the attention of males and she'd want to prepare appropriately. The night was over before it begun, and the waitresses were avoiding you two because they wanted you to leave most likely.
Good to hear she took it in stride the next day and good luck with her she seems awesome.
First girl loved it and got a rush from it ending the night with wild sex. Second girl hid out in the bathroom and wouldn't come out even after agreeing to go with me. She didn't respond to my texts or phone calls so I left her after an hour. Never heard from the 2nd girl again besides the text she left me two hours later asking "where are you?"
Now maybe the battle ax that you are fucking is needy enough that she'll keep coming back. But that doesn't mean that you didn't fuck up, just that she's desperate enough to keep fucking you anyway. :)
Ricky I'm so sorry for suggesting I may be an inkling as cool and savvy as you. After all I don't wear suits to the club so I should know better that I don't come anywhere close to you nor do my experience par up.
1. Strip clubs are very expensive. You are paying for female attention, so it can be worth it, but only if you are alone.
2. A dance from another club will expect you to be generous with the local club's dancers. Expensive, and totally wasteful.
3. Civilians will find so much of it offensive.
Why does anyone do it? Do they want their GF to become more stripper like for them? Other ways to achieve this.
SJG
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Yeah, greasing bouncers, bragging about driving drunk, Ricky is a true fucking winner.
I don't know given how intimidated Rick gets around strippers and how he has to pay them to talk to him, I have a bit of a hard time he is (was) the stud he wants all to believe he was. Probably married the first girl who had sex with him (even though she had to be drunk at the time).
www.stripperweb.com/forum/showthread.php…
or is it a guy who has no idea how to deal with them?
FIRST, she needs to be mentally prepared for it. You can't just spring it on her. And even, then tread lightly. Women have feelings, emotions, hormones, and sensitivities that men don't have. You just can't spring shit like that on them. Women *DO* like surprises, just not that kind. Chances are she will bring it up. But even if you are out-and-about, offer, at least offer, to take her home first to change & freshen up.
SECOND, the trip needs to be about her, her enjoyment, and her comfort level. Think that she's the customer and your are just a semi-invisible customer. The dancers pay attention to her, and to her FIRST and you SECOND. And only if she's feeling it and okay with it. See a civvie girl can go from "edgy and slutty and feelin' it" aka 60 mph, to "not feeling it, awkward, bad, let's leave NOW" aka 0 mph in the span of minutes or seconds. Do you need to be constantly aware of how she's doing and how she's holding up. I'd had civvie dates to strip clubs before and they've all gone smoothly. The trick it to watch this. In my case, all of my dates "have gotten off on watching me get dances with other dancers." It's probably rare, bordering on some type of unicorn civvie species or something, but they do exist. But the minute she's no longer feeling it, you need to bag it and head home for the night. Also, do avoid catty female-hating dancers. They will kill your woman's confidence and feelings in no time flat. All that does it make the trip end prematurely. Seek out female-friendly dancers. Usually about half of the club's dancers fit that mold, IME.
THIRD, women have a different time scale for strip clubs than men do. To civvie women, it's like dogs years or something. Figure a heterosexual women will only want to spend 40-60 minutes in the club, AND THAT IS IT. I once took a woman out to 90 minutes ITC, and that was a huge mistake. So when you get there, get some drinks for her, and DO NOT WASTE ANY TIME. Find some dancers. Find WOMAN FRIENDLY DANCERS. Seek them out in corners, or on stage or at the bar, wherever. Once you find one or two she clicks with, get one super quickly for yourself. Don't approach this like a normal guys' visit where you take you time to scout out or feel out a dancer for VIP. Nope. I figure a 40-60 minute trip is broken down into 2 parts. The first part where the two of you are getting drinks and scoping / talking to dancers. This might take 20 minutes.
The second part of the trip, for me, is where you (and maybe her) start to get dances or VIP. Hopefully the dancer you jointly picked for your girl, she and your GF get along. If so. Leave them some money to entertain themselves (get something to eat, singles for stage tipping, or just drinks and more convo). Most of my dates get 1-2 lap dances, if that, and that's it. The rest of the time is either she is eating a meal with the dancer, or the two of them sit at stage and stage tip together. See, the dancer is like her temporary GF or BFF for the night. In fact, I pull the dancer aside and tell her discreetly and straight-up, if you keep her entertained and happy, I will make it up to you when it's time to go. A "woman-friendly dancer" understands this. If they're stage tipping, together, while I get dances, I give them a stack one $1s, and split it between the two of them. That keeps them occupied for the 20 minutes while I get dances and they watch. Though, keep a watch on your women. The minute she goes from fine to not-fine, start packing it up. You need to bail. You will hit this around the 40-60 minute mark.
FOURTH, you can't just expect her to feel comfortable wearing whatever she is currently wearing. To visit a strip club or a gentleman's club, she is GOING TO WANT TO CHANGE HER CLOTHES. Also make sure she's wearing underwear and that her pussy is fresh. She definitely will want to change her shoes/heels. She likely will change her perfume and makeup into something more SLUTTY for the club. Let her. This is part of her confidence. You need that confidence and mental preparation for the trip to be a success. Do not underestimate this!
That ought to be a sticky note here for that topic (which seems to come up often).
I think part of the takeway is to wait for the civvie to ask to go to a SC. Then be mindful how she's doing while you're there. And remember, you can always take a separate trip, later, by yourself to get your rocks off. So don't be selfish on the trip with the civvie. But don't just sit there like a lump either. If she senses you're not at least *enjoying yourself,* she wonder *WTF* why you're both here. (Fair question on her part.) For Tusclers, at least for the night, assuming your date is NOT OKAY with extras, just for the night, once, act and pretend that, "ooh, yes, clean dances are so sexual, sensual, and satisfying." Clubbing with a civvie not for everyone. One needs to understand and how to read women pretty well.
The easiest female companion, by a huge margin, is a legit bisexual (or a lesbian). But more often than not you are taking a heterosexual female. Quite frankly, she'll get bored of naked women pretty fast. Hence you need to take control and keep the momentum rolling.