tuscl

Attitudes toward sex workers

gawker
Older than dirt
Wednesday, September 7, 2016 4:14 PM
In the 1960's I was a college student at a state college. My parents had told me if I was going to continue my education, it would be at my own expense. Admittedly the tuition was $100 per semester, but my job during my senior year of HS paid $1.10 per hour. As a result I always had a part-time job and jobs were hard to find. For two years I worked as a custodian at the college, washing and buffing floors, cleaning public restrooms, washing windows, etc. one time I remember cleaning a men's room where guys had puked and shit all over the place. It was disgusting dirty work, but I did it because I had to. I eventually earned a BS degree & 2 Master's degrees and completed all my corse work for a doctorate, but never finished my dissertation. To this day, 50 years later, I carry the key used to fill the toilet paper machine. This reminds me of where I began and that I'm no better than those who do the shitty jobs today. Some contributors here speak derisively of sex workers, but are more than willing to buy what's being sold. I'm no better than the sex worker/stripper/Hooker/escort if I'm a willing participant. We joke about respecting the women and most do, but others are far less than respectful. Now ROB's earn my disdain by their actions. And we all judge others by their character, but I'm wondering what others have to say about the women who tweak our fantasies?

34 comments

  • clubdude
    •
    8 years ago
    Well put gawker.
  • Corvus
    •
    8 years ago
    For the most part I respect these women, especially those that seem to be in a rough spot and are working hard to get out. But in this day and age, too many are not using their money wisely, IMO. While it's not my place to judge, it's hard not to be disappointed when they talk about all their very bad decisions. But I certainly don't think less of them for doing what they can, or what they have to do to make it. It cannot be an easy way to go, and many times it's probably unpleasant for the girls. And while I am sure my judgement is not 100% accurate, I do try my best to avoid the worst of the bunch. And while I think most strippers work on their own, the girls I really feel bad for are those sex workers who are used and abused by pimps. I hope most of us don't encounter these girls, but they are out there. And yes, those of us who partake are part of the cycle too and that reflects back on us, not just the girls.
  • 4got2wipe
    •
    8 years ago
    gawker, that is an ace post! :)
  • JamesSD
    •
    8 years ago
    Holy shit, college used to basically be free.
  • HungryGiraffe
    •
    8 years ago
    Gawker, thanks for this post. I share your perspective, and I suspect the vast majority of folks on here who enjoy sex worker services have some level of respect for them as well. There's a minor bit of misogyny evident in some TUSCL threads, but IMO it's the exception and not the rule.
  • stripfighter
    •
    8 years ago
    The true test to see how you feel about sex workers or any marginalized group, is how far are you willing to take the relationship? Would you date and marry one? The utmost sign of respect is bringing them into and being a part of your everyday life. We can talk about being willing participants or doing what they have to, and that's better than trashing them, but still falls short on the respect end of the continuum. I'm not saying that's how we should treat them or how I treat them, and that you can still treat them well stopping short from this pinnacle point. Personally, I'd never be able to get into a serious relationship w/a pornstar or escort and am on the fence with a stripper(she'd have to be a unicorn), but that doesn't stop me from treating her as normal human and to talking to her as if she's a civvie when the time calls for it. I still show directness and disdain. It's not however, directed to their profession but their behavior(which their profession seems to exude more of.) I accept their motivations and their situations. I can even accept a ROB, or an attitude/bitch(neither means I'll buy.) What I have trouble accepting is a drunkard or a druggie and someone with zero sense of professionalism.
  • slickwilliam
    •
    8 years ago
    Thanks for the thoughtful post, Gawker
  • ATACdawg
    •
    8 years ago
    I totally agree, gawker. If you can't respect the dancers you really can't respect yourself if you hire them.
  • JohnSmith69
    •
    8 years ago
    I have no tolerance for assholes who treat strippers disrespectfully. I have known dozens of strippers personally, I've spent hours, days, and weeks with them, and everything gawker says is true. Nice post.
  • lopaw
    •
    8 years ago
    Well done, gawker.
  • jester214
    •
    8 years ago
    I respect anyone who works hard at their job regardless of what it is. This is particularly true if they don't have a lot, or any, other options. That said I don't have any respect for people who half-ass their job regardless of what it is.
  • FTS
    •
    8 years ago
    As a young indentured servant to The System, the main thrust of this thread from my point of view is that the ratio of shit-cleaner's-wage-to-college-tuition was 1:100. A quick google search reveals average public 4-year college is $9,410 per year (in-state), or $4705 per semester. Applying the same 1:100 ratio, and using college tuition costs as some sort of economic basis, .... well... that's $47 per hour. :-| But, regarding the actual point of the OP.... I agree.
  • Dominic77
    •
    8 years ago
    Thanks, gawker. Great post!
  • sharkhunter
    •
    8 years ago
    I respect people who work for a living and are trying to improve their lives whether it is a janitor, sex worker, prostitute, or someone else. I respect the homeless too unless he is just trying to bum money off of me to buy cigarettes but I respect him for telling the truth. I tend to not respect people if they are lying bums too lazy to work or too lazy to even try to improve their lives and simply resort to asking for money all the time. Just because I don't introduce strippers I know to all my friends doesn't mean I don't respect them, it means either they haven't earned my trust, or I know some relatives will only cause me grief, or I like to separate my personal life from dealing with relatives and my work life. I've dated regular girls and never told my relatives or friends. I visited one stripper a few times at her place or away from the clubs and never told any relatives or friends. A long time ago, My parents did know some girls were calling me but they didn't know who or why because before cell phones, I gave a couple strippers the phone number where I lived. That was normal. My parents would have been surprised if they knew a stripper was on the phone. She didn't identify herself that way, just used her name like everyone else. No big deal that way.
  • crazyjoe
    •
    8 years ago
    Well said Gawker! I couldnt say it better myself
  • Subraman
    •
    8 years ago
    -->"Some contributors here speak derisively of sex workers, but are more than willing to buy what's being sold. I'm no better than the sex worker/stripper/Hooker/escort if I'm a willing participant. " I wonder if that last sentence is really the crux of it. If you have low self esteem or other mental issues, and think you're a piece of crap, then a woman who would have sex with you, for mere money, is even more of a piece of crap. The women who fuel our fantasies and make us feel so amazing don't deserve to be thought of that way, and I believe aren't thought of that way ... by guys who are mentally stable enough not to have to put others down. Which, of course, doesn't mean that I haven't learned that a lot of the women have tragic backstories and subsequent issues... but I don't ever treat them with disrespect (unless they earn it)
  • skibum609
    •
    8 years ago
    All work is honorable. As far as college tuition? Blame the Government's loan program. Without the loan program colleges and Universities don't pay the astronomical salaries that they pay and expenses are less. As an example only and despite the fact it is Harvard, if Harvard is paying this 15 years ago, all other schools pay more than they should. Harvard had a couple teaching at the law school (very liberal all for the little guy people); they each taught ONE class per semester. They each received free housing and free medical. They each received pay of $300,000.00 per year. That's a minimum of 750,000.00 for two classes. Royally screwed the taxpayer. The woman? Why that former Wall Street slug, fake Native American, Elizabeth Warren.
  • Cowboy12
    •
    8 years ago
    Nice post Gawker! I agree with your statements. It is all about character and how you go about your job. 2 of my favorites have other part time jobs, one is raising a family on her own. Got to respect them for working so hard to make a living.
  • RandomMember
    •
    8 years ago
    Lighten up, boys. As TUSCLs premier feminist, I see very little of what I would I would consider outright misogyny. Now, writing about face-fucking being your favorite sex act, or posting about bringing a dancer to tears in the VIP, or writing about your ex-wife's sagging tits, or writing about verbally humiliating a 69-yr-old women while fucking her senseless, might all be considered misogyny in another forum -- this is TUSCL where all of these things are understood to be a joke! Boys will be boys. I wonder, @Gawker, if you are mixing up two related issues. If you pay someone several decades younger for sex and fall in love with her, then you've fallen in love with a sex worker, by definition. Saying so honestly does not "denigrate" the sex worker in any way, shape, or form. If anything it denigrates the older guy who has lost all sense of reality.
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    8 years ago
    I respect all my hos & bitches
  • ellocohombre
    •
    8 years ago
    A dancer, escort, amp will worker is no different than a laborer who digs ditches. They both are using their body's to make a living. I can be hired to to dig a dig a ditch, they should be able to be hired to provide a service with their body also. Hey it's our body we should be able to do what we want to without the fuckin government to telling us otherwise.
  • jackslash
    •
    8 years ago
    I respect strippers up the wazoo.
  • 99Bitches
    •
    8 years ago
    Agreed. I don't look down on strippers for using their assets to make money. We all look for ways to use our talents to make a living. I will say though, that if it is the job/profession you choose, then work it. I am paying for a fantasy so the best dancers are the one's who give you the full GFE. Lazy dancers are annoying. You are selling more than just your hot body. Don't just show up to work and think thats enough. Half of life might be showing up but I guarantee it takes more than showing up to get anywhere in life.
  • Tiredtraveler
    •
    8 years ago
    The biggest problem with the sex industry is that it is 'illegal' and because of that removes the basic safety protection of society (LE etc.) making it a very dangerous line of work. I also see little if any difference between a sex worker and many other kinds of work where workers see the use of their bodies to do any number of tasks form the mundane(stocking shelves) to dangerous (cleaning up puke or being a cop). The worst offenders of preaching how evil sex workers are many times are the most evil creatures imaginable. Those people who stand on their soap boxes preach and make laws all in front of cameras are the truly evil. I read an article a about a church group the sat outside a club and simply handed out fliers to patrons and dancers listing programs and places to get help if needed. no strings no cameras no placards. When interviewed she said that were not there to judge as that was way above (heaven) their pay grade and she knew many of the girls would get out of the business if they could find a way to earn a living & get off drugs and they just wanted to show all that there were other ways to live. She finished with God helps everyone who asks and they were there to make sure that these people knew that. When more cameras showed up the group quietly left and never identified themselves. This type of person I can respect because they walk the walk. Politicians and protesters only talk the talk for personal gain. Laws will not stop sex and the more oppressive the government gets the more it tries to control below the belt. Prostitution was not illegal in most the the USA until one small group decided to take control and regulate everything because they "KNEW BEST" for all and they were the self appointed moralists for the country. They think that if they can control that aspect of your life you will conform to their will and keep them in power.
  • Tiburon
    •
    8 years ago
    Sounds like you put a LOT of effort into working for your keep and that's respectable no matter how dirty and low brow. Sex workers of today can't even compare to putting in that kind of work that you described just too pay for college. And in comparison to the 60s, they get paid WAAAAY more than you for literally sitting on their ass playing with their phone or just laying on their back like a dead fish with no enthusiasm. It's hard to respect sex workers when they get paid too much for being lazy hoes.
  • flagooner
    •
    8 years ago
    I respect a few of them, but I do my best to treat them all with dignity. Hell, that's a lot better than we get from them. What is the saying? "There, but for the grace of God, go I." Something like that. But I'd go hungry if I tried to make it as a sex worker.
  • rickdugan
    •
    8 years ago
    I don't really think about it one way or the other, truth be told. I'm not very judgmental about what people do to themselves or with their lives as a whole. There are exceptions to this involving kids, with more respect coming forth for mommy dancers who are supporting their kids and less for those who seem to be fucking them over, but even those feelings are muted when I am dealing with dancers. I am there to be entertained, not to form lasting bonds. So I guess I just don't get emotionally invested enough in any of them to think about this stuff too much one way or another. Now there have been a few exceptions to all of that, but only by slight degrees. Healthy enjoyment of time with dancers is about boundaries and limits, especially for those of us who have other people relying upon us.
  • Dougster
    •
    8 years ago
    RickyBoy: " I'm not very judgmental about what people do to themselves or with their lives as a whole. " RickyBoy has said this before. Always reminds me of The Godfather "Look, I don't care what a man does for a living".
  • vincemichaels
    •
    8 years ago
    Work is honorable, one is trying to survive. About the only fool, I don't respect is Trump, I'll leave it at that.
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    8 years ago
    Gawker, I agree with your sentiments. Actually I learned when I was elementary school age that most of this just comes down to a double standard. Men are respected for sexual prowess, where as women are not. And actually Marilyn French's novel Women's Room starts off with that. But I don't divide women into two categories. They are all just women and I treat them the same. I engage with the ones that I like, and this is not just looks. SJG
  • comedydoc
    •
    8 years ago
    @OP Extremely well said. I'd go even further than you. I respect them whether they are in a jam or not, as long as they are honest and actually work and are not drama queens (at least as far as I can tell from my occasional visits). I think stripping/sex work is a completely legitimate career choice, and the fact that such is often illegal says far more about our neurotic government (and voters who stand for it) than it says about the girls.
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    8 years ago
    !! I agree that most of our society is neurotic, and that sex workers are one of the few antidotes to this. SJG
  • Jascoi
    •
    8 years ago
    i have used and abused my body to make money that supported my family and my habits for many decades. since i was not smart or pretty nor gifted in dealing with the public i utilized what i thought was possible with my limited abilities. being in the sex industry is similar in ways. i respect the ladies.
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    8 years ago
    Not all sex workers are good at what they do. But with those that are, they have an incredible respect for people. I first observed this with the locals I have dubbed, "The Beloved Latina Escorts". SJG
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