Bringing a stripper home to meet your wife
gawker
Older than dirt
My wife has dementia. She is very limited in her ability to remember things, care for herself, and function in her life. However she enjoys certain things, wants to be involved with others and likes to go places with me. I'm her primary caregiver, cooking her meals, helping her dress, administering her pills and assisting in her daily care. We've been married for 47 years and while being a caregiver is frustrating, maddening at times, and hard work, I don't doubt for a second that she'd do the same for me, were our roles reversed. She first showed signs of Alzheimer's more than 10 years ago and was diagnosed more than 7 years ago. I take her to her primary care physician, neurologist, speech therapist, allergist,, chiropractor, podiatrist, pain management clinic, etc.
I also have been meeting the same stripper OTC weekly or more often for more than 7 years. I'm 40 years older than my ATF who was a drug addict for 15 years. I've spent my life savings on the stripper but have enough income to get by. My ATF is in the process of moving from New England to Floriduh, after kicking the drugs for 6 months.
She flew back last week for some major dental work and planned on living at a sober house but when she got off the plane discovered the home had no beds available. She called an old boyfriend and slept with him for a couple of nights, but couldn't stand another, so she got a hotel room and worked one night at her old club and made a few hundred, but realized that after her dental work she couldn't work for a few days and couldn't afford a hotel. I picked her up before her dentist visit ( with a freebie before leaving) then after her surgery, brought her home and put her in the guest room. She can be course, walks around half naked, and is not your typical houseguest. I've told my wife she's a friend's daughter who we're helping out, but after 48 hours, things are getting strained. The ATF wants me to bring her places and my wife is used to coming, but that isn't working. I've got two more days and hope I can keep the two women in my life apart from each other.
I suppose I should have my head examined for allowing this to happen, but it seemed like the right thing to do. I've talked with her Dad who's appreciative of the help I've provided while keeping her away from all her drug involved friends. In a couple of days I'm driving her two hours to see her mother and her son and taking her & the 11 year old shopping for back to school supplies. Then she's going to work a few nights to earn money to fly back to FL and I'll probably never see her again.
Bringing the two women in my life together under one roof is a stupid move, but it may just end with no injuries.
I also have been meeting the same stripper OTC weekly or more often for more than 7 years. I'm 40 years older than my ATF who was a drug addict for 15 years. I've spent my life savings on the stripper but have enough income to get by. My ATF is in the process of moving from New England to Floriduh, after kicking the drugs for 6 months.
She flew back last week for some major dental work and planned on living at a sober house but when she got off the plane discovered the home had no beds available. She called an old boyfriend and slept with him for a couple of nights, but couldn't stand another, so she got a hotel room and worked one night at her old club and made a few hundred, but realized that after her dental work she couldn't work for a few days and couldn't afford a hotel. I picked her up before her dentist visit ( with a freebie before leaving) then after her surgery, brought her home and put her in the guest room. She can be course, walks around half naked, and is not your typical houseguest. I've told my wife she's a friend's daughter who we're helping out, but after 48 hours, things are getting strained. The ATF wants me to bring her places and my wife is used to coming, but that isn't working. I've got two more days and hope I can keep the two women in my life apart from each other.
I suppose I should have my head examined for allowing this to happen, but it seemed like the right thing to do. I've talked with her Dad who's appreciative of the help I've provided while keeping her away from all her drug involved friends. In a couple of days I'm driving her two hours to see her mother and her son and taking her & the 11 year old shopping for back to school supplies. Then she's going to work a few nights to earn money to fly back to FL and I'll probably never see her again.
Bringing the two women in my life together under one roof is a stupid move, but it may just end with no injuries.
Got something to say?
Start your own discussion
24 comments
Gawker you are one patient man. Good Luck.
Just sounds like an agonizing situation for and you get my respect for helping your wife when she's at her most vulnerable. Hopefully you can find another ATF and meet with her away from the house, now and then.
You better believe that you won't see her again. Heroin use has become a major problem in most Florida cities, including in the strip clubs. The shit these girls do down here is strong, cheap and abundantly available. If she returns to Florida and works in a strip club, I have no doubt that she will relapse and eventually end up sucking and fucking for drug money.
She would be better off staying in the northeast or going to some other place where drug use is less accepted in the clubs. Sure she will always be able to find it if she is determined enough, but that is not the same as always having it in your face, tempting you.
Good luck with your dilemma. You have far more patience than I do and i congratulate you for it!
Some of us remember when you brought this girl to your home, and what happened.
Keep us posted.
SJG
So I say this now @gawker with no disrespect intended. Over the last couple of years you have posted about your wife, your ATF, her SO, and her mother. And to me it has always sounded really bleak for all parties. It resonates with what I experienced, even though the circumstances are different. And it resonates with what @Che has described.
We have a few people on this board who are seeing strippers with their wive's consent. Even this though I think is problematic. And then we have whole bunch more married guys who are seeing strippers and are patting themselves on the back about it. I don't think it is cool at all. I think it is hypocrisy on the part of the men and their wives both.
You've also got an ATF who has got some real issues.
SJG
Plus you bring up an excellent point SJG that legal marriage is really a union of three parties (2 spouses and the government). But if I want to continue to discuss that I should do so under your "marriage as a weapon" perpetual thread.
I don't know if monogamy being satisfactory is a tenet of marriage, more than it is just a commitment to accepting it and making the best of it.
With most of the men I have seen who are happily monogamous long term, they are involved in mainline religion.
This is not like Evangelical religion, which is always people getting saved over and over.
Mainline religion is composed of people who really are making monogamy work. I am not opposed to these people and I do my best not to insult them.
But others have noted that marriage did not used to last that long, with death and desertion.
I think the ability to pay for outside liaisons is a unique practice of the well-off.
In Europe, Latin America, and Asia they do have a well established Wife - Mistress system. I like this better than all this talk about ATF's.
But for myself, I needed to end a destructive and unworkable marriage. Also, I do want to walk my talk.
I decided decades ago that if that marriage could not work, I was never going to have another "relationship". And I explained that to our marriage counselor.
But this does not mean that I see P4P or disposable women as the only alternative. I want to build counter culture. And I think much about the accounts people post on this forum, accounts of difficult situations. I look at how these situations could be remedied by design.
Marriage exposes one to all manner of conformist pressure.
A girl at a San Francisco strip club told me that the clubs bring out the worst in both men and women.
Well if I really believe that I would not want to ever go there. I say that marriage brings out the worst in both men and women.
SJG