Dancer asked for my last name

avatar for maho
maho
Ohio
Was in Detroit Thursday and Friday visiting some clubs. Was hanging out with a dancer I've met a couple of times on previous visits who I like. We exchanged numbers our first visit and know each others names. While talking, she asked what my last name was. Didn't think anything of the question and told her. Was later kind of wondering if it was a bad idea for her to know my full name; especially when she knows what part of town and hotel I stay at when in Detroit as we had casually discussed meeting OTC.

Any reason for concern on my part for sharing my full name with a dancer under this scenario?

38 comments

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avatar for K
K
8 years ago
There is probably no cause for concern. A few dozen know my full name an it has never been an issue.
However, I suggest you be careful about what you tell and to who. Too little information. Is better than too much. You can always correct too little
avatar for JohnSmith69
JohnSmith69
8 years ago
Except with a very steady regular that I take on trips (ie a DS), I never share my last name or any other identifying information like where I work. While it's probably no big deal that you did tell her, it's still the better practice to keep such information private. It's all part of keeping your strip club life separate from your other life. This is usually not a problem because dancers don't want to tell me their personal info so they have no basis to expect it from me.
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
8 years ago
It's a trust thing. Arranging OTC usually requires a certain amount of trust from both parties. I have showed my drivers license to a couple of dancers just to prove who I am, etc. I have never had anything bad happen as a result of sharing my personal information. But it is a 2 way street. I am picky about who I share with.
avatar for Dominic77
Dominic77
8 years ago
It's pretty standard for screening done by escorts or some dancers for OTC.
avatar for IronFox22
IronFox22
8 years ago
I usually don't tell them my last name (but then again, I'm a bit paranoid). At one club, I had gotten to know a dancer over the course of several visits over a few months. She eventually asked me bluntly what my last name was and I hesitated for a second and then, without making eye contact, said "It's Smith." Yep. I managed to pick the most generic, least believable name possible. She looked at me funny for a minute and then said, "Oh, ok." It was awkward.
avatar for JohnSmith69
JohnSmith69
8 years ago
John Smith is a totally believable name.
avatar for MrDeuce
MrDeuce
8 years ago
I'm super-private about such things. I haven't even told my three-time OTC girl what my real *first* name is, let alone my last name! However, this is excessive secrecy and you shouldn't worry about telling her.
avatar for a21985
a21985
8 years ago
I made the moronic mistake of still having my work badge on my belt when I went to see my ATF one time, she grabbed it to have me put it away and noticed my full name before I did. She hasn't mentioned it since.

Other than that slip up, my last name stays private.
avatar for Subraman
Subraman
8 years ago
While I don't necessarily think there's anything to worry about, I also think it's foolish to be telling strippers your last name willy-nilly. I think you can have a lifetime of interactions with strippers and not have any real negative consequences, there are really bad stories that make the press sometimes, and it's best to keep information that can identify you or help someone track you down on a "need to know" basis.

As a side note, if you'd asked her her last name, and she wasn't comfortable telling, she'd let you know that (albeit as nicely as should could) in a blink of an eye. To whatever extent you just gave up your last name because you felt pressure because she asked, that's something to work on. I don't think I've ever had a stripper as me my last name, but making a joke out of it (e.g., a laughing "oh, are we on a real last name basis now? You show me your driver's license, I'll tell you my last name. haha!" is all it takes) works fine

There are a handful of girls who know my real name -- and a handful who have been over my house -- but we knew each other over a long period of time and they exposed their info to me well before I exposed mine to them
avatar for sharkhunter
sharkhunter
8 years ago
I usually don't worry too much about dancers tracking me down. To my surprise, just doing a Google search of my first and last name shows a whole bunch of people with my name but not me. It looks like I could disappear and no trace of me would be found. Do I know a relative in the CIA? I don't know. I do know of one distant relative traveled to over 140 countries for his work. It would be nice if I could make my home phone number disappear for free.
avatar for Meursault
Meursault
8 years ago
If you're doing OTC you might have to. If not, I would caution you not to. I've known 2 dancers in 20 years who I've given my real name. One I dated briefly and that was disastrous. The other is married and lives far away. I can think of only one more I would, but she's exceptional (in every way).
avatar for Subraman
Subraman
8 years ago
-->"If you're doing OTC you might have to"

Really? I'm not doubting you, I'm sure this varies by region, but in all the years I've been doing this I've NEVER been asked my last name in order to get an OTC... or any other personal information, for that matter. None at all. I suppose that could be partially because the girls in this region just don't ask for that, partially because I tend to ATF a girl before I ask her OTC so she already knows me, and partially because I tend to go for lower-volume girls who I imagine are far less likely to have a profession-escort-style screening process.
avatar for jester214
jester214
8 years ago
I see virtually no reason for them to know my last name.
avatar for maho
maho
8 years ago
Thanks guys. After reading your thoughts, think I feel better and can brush it off as a harmless question on her part.

My worst fear was somehow my room at the hotel being tracked down since she knew my full name and knows I have money on me and something bad somehow happens, but that's probably pretty far fetched; especially since I stay at nice hotels when in Detroit.

On this last visit which was the third time hanging out with her, this girl told me where she lives - down to the name of the street. Since I'm out of state I obviously don't remember or know the streets or would know where they are but probably just a sign of her openness while talking. Her asking my last night was probably just a question out of curiosity that any girl/guy would ask each other after hanging out a few times.

While I do like this dancer - both because she is hot to me and because I like her personality - I can tell she has some "street game" to her. Guess this was another reason why after thinking for a bit the last name question had me concerned, but after thinking about it after your comments I think it was probably nothing - especially since I visit from out of state.
avatar for maho
maho
8 years ago
Funny stories IronFox22 and a21985.

avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo
8 years ago
I usually just give them my social security # to show them I trust them.
avatar for mikeya02
mikeya02
8 years ago
Real names are no big deal. Mine is Dick Cabeza
avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo
8 years ago
Not sure b/c I'm not much of a dater these days, but I think it's not too uncommon these days for women in particular to do internet background checks on guys they may think of getting involved with for safety reasons, so this may have been a possible reasons IMO.
avatar for sharkhunter
sharkhunter
8 years ago
I remember one time a dancer told me any guy that was going to have sex with her would have to get a bj first to prove that he trusted her. Something weird I heard a dancer say to me.
avatar for crazyjoe
crazyjoe
8 years ago
Did you ask for her credit card number?
avatar for vincemichaels
vincemichaels
8 years ago
It's never been a problem, but I agree, not giving your real last name is sound practice.
avatar for DandyDan
DandyDan
8 years ago
I only did once ever, when I was at the Lamp Lighter in Ottawa, IL. That's not far from where my dad grew up and I assumed, for some bizarre reason, that their dancers were locals who might have known other local people, some of whom in Ottawa and the surrounding area have my last name. After I left, I realized that was really stupid and remembered never to do that again.
avatar for georgmicrodong
georgmicrodong
8 years ago
In my 39 plus years of clubbing, I've given my real last name to one dancer, my ATF. She also knows my real address, real phone number, and the names of my wife and kids. And it took three years for me to give it up to *her*.
avatar for Clubber
Clubber
8 years ago
My ATF knew everything about me. Even met the family. That said, we have our secret.
avatar for gawker
gawker
8 years ago
It's bad enough that my ATF knows all about me, but she & her mother aren't speaking so her mother mails me all of her court papers. I'm getting mail almost daily from her. I've even introduced my wife to my ATF's mother. Lol
avatar for flagooner
flagooner
8 years ago
I once told a stripper my last name. Never again. That was a mistake that took 3 yrs. and $22k to resolve an ID theft. Don't do it.
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
8 years ago
flagooner - I'd like to hear the details on that ID theft. With all the protections available from banks.etc.
avatar for Hugh_G_Rection
Hugh_G_Rection
8 years ago
I really don't have to worry about a last name. If I don't provide one, Dr. Phil will invent one for me, just as he has 'invented' alternate identities for several users on this site by claiming we are all the same person (highly disputable, btw).

(and really, whatever you want to believe Phil, just not that lame Dachshund-wanna-be. That insinuation was lower than a snakes belly IMHO!)
avatar for s88
s88
8 years ago
@gawker

Are you her customer or her BF? lol
avatar for Tiredtraveler
Tiredtraveler
8 years ago
I stopped using my real name years ago. So I would just make one up or move on. Even at the beginning of my clubbing I never gave out my last name.
I also learned about locking my phone early on when I started carrying a pocket phone right after hand helds got small enough to carry when a stripper in a private dance picked it up off the table without permission said she was going to put number, that she and she and and other dancer would meet me for a threesome at my hotel, started scrolling through my phone and to put her number in my contacts. She then was going to call her phone so her phone so she could could have my number. I told her very firmly to give me my phone NOW, promptly erased her partial number, pocketed my phone and left the booth. Before I left the club I found the manager informed him of her antics and told him that she had solicited OTC for herself and a friend(that I should not waste my money on dances at the club which she had done).
I had no intention of taking her up on her offer as it was to quickly offered and easy for her. She was likely bait for a trap to either blackmail or mug me.
Fortunately I got my phone back before she got to any useful information, from then on I have kept my phone locked with a password.
avatar for flagooner
flagooner
8 years ago
I was intending to poke fun at the fear of the OP. I didn't intend anyone to really take it seriously. I guess I wasn't obvious enough about it.

There are hundreds of people that know all of our last names, unless you are a complete hermit. I don't understand a risk associated with it.
avatar for flagooner
flagooner
8 years ago
Oh. And to clarify, no I was not the victim of ID theft. I'm sorry that my comment was not as recognizably facetious as I intended.
avatar for sharkhunter
sharkhunter
8 years ago
some of the guys here might like abovetopsecret.com , lots of paranoid conspiracy people there. however in my opinion, the conspiracy people are right at least some of the time. They do tend to go overboard at times though.

I do agree if a dancer wants to track me, she wants something. Sex and or money maybe. I'm not worried if she wants sex unless she's really ugly or is diseased.
avatar for 4got2wipe
4got2wipe
8 years ago
"(and really, whatever you want to believe Phil, just not that lame Dachshund-wanna-be. That insinuation was lower than a snakes belly IMHO!)"

That kind of stings Hugh_G._Rection. I'm not going to argue but I would like to clarify that I am neither a dachshund nor do I want to be a dachshund.

I just think dachshunds are good dogs! Wiener dogs rule! ;)
avatar for chessmaster
chessmaster
8 years ago
Sounds like paranoia to me. Making up names? Wtf for?
avatar for MrDeuce
MrDeuce
8 years ago
I have always used a fake first name in strip clubs because I have a *very* unusual real name and want to maintain complete separation between my lives inside and outside of the club.
avatar for Meursault
Meursault
8 years ago
It makes no sense to me to give your full name to someone that you know as "Bubbles." That aside, I don't give my real last name (except in 2 rare occasions) because with my full name, it is relatively easy to find my business on-line. While I don't anticipate that being a problem, you never know what a girl, or her crazy boyfriend, or the meth dealer she tells everything to will do. I don't need to risk harassment when there is no reason for it.
avatar for Meursault
Meursault
8 years ago
I have had a recent experience with this. A girl who I really like and actually trust found out a fake last name I have used and she told me she tried to look me up on-line. This is probably the one stripper I would trust with it, but it still surprised me and scared me a little. The problem is I would absolutely trust her and I would absolutely trust her best friend who is also a stripper, but I would NOT trust her friend's husband and that is where the problem lies.
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