Sayonara
gawker
Older than dirt
I've been seeing my ATF in and out of the club for more than 7 years. She's still the sexiest woman I've ever been with but her heroin habit of 15 years was going to kill her and she saw many friends and contacts buried due to overdoses. For the past year I've been a party to her revolving door with detox, rehab, and relapses; over and over. The last time she approached detox with a different mindset and I told her that when she was sober I would only be a reflection of her old life and she was going to need a whole new set of friends and to totally disassociate from her former life. She's now been living in a sober house with at least 3 urine checks per week, has been off heroin more than 6 weeks and I think she's going to make it this time.
In order to move into the sober house she needed $500 which I fronted saying it would be for one last time OTC when she was up to it. This weekend her Facebook pages were filled with pics of her and her boyfriend (4 months sober) at the beach, playing, kissing, staring at each other, just like they're in love. I texted her that it looked as if they'd both found love in sobriety and I'd feel guilty "collecting" my debt.
She wrote back thanking me "for being awesome" and saying she would send me $$.
I've still got 90% of her belongings in my cellar and the state is holding $2500 bail money I've put up, so I know we'll have future contact, but I'm just coming to grips with the likelihood that I'll never fuck her again. I'll be amazed if she sends me money, and pleased if the bail money is returned, but coincidently my #2 has dropped off the face of the earth and my #3 has moved too far away and is inaccessible for all intents and purposes, so...
I just don't have the drive or motivation to cultivate a new regular, but do know several dancers who are attractive and who are always up for a serviceable bbbjcim, so I think I'll take some time and occasionally visit one of them, but I think it's an end of an era (error).
In order to move into the sober house she needed $500 which I fronted saying it would be for one last time OTC when she was up to it. This weekend her Facebook pages were filled with pics of her and her boyfriend (4 months sober) at the beach, playing, kissing, staring at each other, just like they're in love. I texted her that it looked as if they'd both found love in sobriety and I'd feel guilty "collecting" my debt.
She wrote back thanking me "for being awesome" and saying she would send me $$.
I've still got 90% of her belongings in my cellar and the state is holding $2500 bail money I've put up, so I know we'll have future contact, but I'm just coming to grips with the likelihood that I'll never fuck her again. I'll be amazed if she sends me money, and pleased if the bail money is returned, but coincidently my #2 has dropped off the face of the earth and my #3 has moved too far away and is inaccessible for all intents and purposes, so...
I just don't have the drive or motivation to cultivate a new regular, but do know several dancers who are attractive and who are always up for a serviceable bbbjcim, so I think I'll take some time and occasionally visit one of them, but I think it's an end of an era (error).
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21 comments
And while you were technically an indirect enabler (hence why the clean break is 100% necessary), in the end you were in fact the biggest part of her getting clean. That's pretty fucking amazing. You will get plenty of chances to find another girl once you snap out of this funk, but you'll probably never get a chance to play such an integral role in saving a life. Don't ever forget what's more important in the end.
Hang in there Gawker. You're a good guy.
Was #2 the one you took shopping to IKEA? She seemed like a fun gal.
And while you were technically an indirect enabler (hence why the clean break is 100% necessary), in the end you were in fact the biggest part of her getting clean. That's pretty fucking amazing. You will get plenty of chances to find another girl once you snap out of this funk, but you'll probably never get a chance to play such an integral role in saving a life. Don't ever forget what's more important in the end.
Bingo
plus one
Brilliant
Ace
Just because you don't club anymore doesn't mean you have nothing to share
You are one of the elders to this hobby and have years of experience and stories you could spend your time sharing with us younger dudes that like myself need to learn
Thank you for your service
It's just too bad that you couldn't let her go several hundred thousand ago, before you blew out your credit cards with no way to pay them back, took out a mortgage on your paid off home and squandered your life savings. While I'm sure that your fav, along with her drug dealers and rehab facilities, really appreciated those substantial donations, those girls are always about "what have you done for me lately?" There is no equity built on donations for stripper pussy. ;)
Dude, I am the last person who has any right to be sanctimonious about anything, so don't take this the wrong way. But assuming you have any of that 200k in home equity left by the time Amex and the other creditors are done with you, perhaps it might be wise to retrench and find less expensive pursuits. You are in your 70s already, so your ability to earn more is limited and you may need to go quite a long time before you die. Having to worry about whether you can afford things like long-term care bills for yourself and your wife is a bad way to go.
Anyway, good luck I suppose.
You make a lot of solid points but let's also be real that at age 70 something you could die any day hell anyone of us could drop dead at any age but with age comes a higher possibility.
With that said after working all those years and saving, building credit and equity in the old home. I am apposed to loosing it to Heath issues or Death. Can't take it with you so might as well enjoy the fruit of your labor
I believe Gawker is living the juice approved lifestyle
Gawker, you really do seem to have saved her life. You've said repeatedly that you have no regrets about the hundreds of thousands you've spent on her. My advice is to stick to that lack of regret and find ways to rebuild your nest egg. Regrets are destructive, and even those in their 70s can find ways to generate income.
Good luck to you.
To be fair, I DID mention that I'm sure that the fav, her drug dealers and rehab help were thrilled with the donations. Would it have been better if I added that the BFs that she was fucking for free, and who were probably getting their rent and drugs paid for by gawker too, were no doubt also grateful? ;)
:)
Rick says you should move on to less expensive pursuits. But of course Rick is usually wrong, as he is here again. Keep going to the club for some itc fun. Before you know it, you'll stumble upon another OTC fav. Cause they are everywhere, and you have a great system. I know it's disappointing to lose three of them almost simultaneously but everything in life (strippers included) go in waves up and down. You're on the downward curve now, just waiting to go back up.
Do what makes you happy but I think it would be a mistake to mostly give up on fucking strippers. Sure take a break, or cut back some, but you're gawker. You have the best stories. You shouldn't quit.