ATF Proposal
We have spent a lot of time over several months together OTC and ITC. We have had a many deep discussions on a wide variety of subjects. On more than one occasion recently she has brought up the subject of shacking up or getting married. Is there the slightest chance of this going well even if it is real?
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1. What's the difference in your ages ?
2. Either or both previously married?
3. How are your respective financial positions?
4. Does/would she keep dancing?
A. If yes, how'd you feel about that's?
B. If no, does she expect to work? Does she have a sale able skill, other than dancing?
5. Is this something you want? Really want?
If those are adequately addressed a trial period of living together is a possibility.
Regardless, you'll find that most of the guys here will put your odds of success at or about the equivalent of finding a rainbow unicorn with a winning lottery ticket stuck to its sparkly hoof.
That includes me, for what it's worth.
Skilled working class.
What will the alimony or child support or divorce cost?
No alimony or child support.
1. What's the difference in your ages ?
She's 30, I'm 50
2. Either or both previously married?
Both
3. How are your respective financial positions?
Not wealthy but stable
4. Does/would she keep dancing?
Most likely
A. If yes, how'd you feel about that's?
She's a dancer not a ho, I'm ok.
B. If no, does she expect to work? Does she have a sale able skill, other than dancing?
5. Is this something you want? Really want?
In a perfect world, yes. With all the ramifications, I foresee disaster.
I had a long distance relationship with a dancer who lived far away from me who wanted to be the next Mrs S, but she didn't know there already was a Mrs S.
She wanted someone to take care of her so she could stay home, have a kid, do yoga and housewife shit. Even though she came from nothing and had nothing, it was amazing what her expectations were if she were to marry someone. She obviously watched too many "real housewives of ..." episodes. If I would have done that I would have been husband number 5. She did find some guy to marry her and become husband number 5 eventually, that was 3 years ago, and she's already divorced again.
I think your age difference is too great for that to work. Unless she's extremely mature for her age, just let her talk her talk and nod your head next time she brings it up.
However, never ever ever even for a second should you even kinda of think about marriage. I might live with my DS for a little while but I would never even think seriously of marrying her.
Marriage is a crap shoot to begin with. Marriage to a stripper is insane.
But of she wants to date and fuck you for free? Why not?
I know a few strippers that transitioned to a normal life after marriage. It was painful for both the husband and the wife. I know of many more that ended in disaster.
None of the women completely trust their husbands after seeing men in the clubs. They have unrealistic expectations when it comes to earnings. they often are strippers because of a series of bad choices. These women don't develop wisdom and self restraint over night.
on the other side, the man has unrealistic expectations about a wild sex life. he likely values his wife's beauty and sexuality more than her other qualities. Long before these fade, he will tire of her and dream of a new CF.
And sure as the sun rises in the east, during a fight, he will throw her past in her face.
I’ve never been married – but even people with seemingly good-marriages say marriage is tough.
Why get married? If one wants kids I can see being married; o/w why not just be BF/GF – marriage for an aging dancer is often the next career-move.
You've seen her and not paid - correct? If your answer is yes - then my question below is pertinent. If your answer is no - forget your feelings - and forget hers too - as she wants a commitment from your wallet.
If you believe her desire is true - look at who would benefit more from marriage - and who would benefit more if the marriage ended. If the answer is her - then you might want to think twice. I'm guessing her income is mostly undeclared - so a stable steady income would be a major benefit for her.