I found a unicorn!!!!

ATACdawg
Thank God Trump is FIRED!!! Lock him up!
I went to the club tonight expecting to see two former favorites that were on the schedule. Neither of them were there. Crap.

However, there was a dancer there that I had not seen before. She was a very cute natural blonde (8.5 to 9.0 on the ATAC scale). Smallish (large A to small B) but very nicely shaped, firm breasts, a flat tummy and ass and legs to die for. Also, when I smiled my appreciation she gave me a big smile in return.

I tipped pretty generously after her first stage set. She returned to the guys she had been sitting with. Meanwhile, I ate the dinner I had ordered. On her next stage set, her erstwhile companions had just left. She gave me a pretty special show, spending almost half her time in front of me. I again tipped her well, and she asked if I'd like to have her company. "Absolutely," I said.

A few minutes later she's back and in a little girl voice asks me what I've been doing. We chat for a few minutes, and I think it's going nowhere. I asked how long she had been dancing there an she said about a year and a half, but only a couple nights a week because she's going to school during the day. "So, what are you taking?" She gets a slightly pained expression and asks if I mean what is she taking now, or what is her major. "Your major." I admit at this point I was thinking nursing or cosmetology. She cringes as though she's afraid her answer will turn me off. "Mathematics and cryptology. I'm about one semester from graduating."

" Wow! Cool!" is my blown away reply.

The little girl voice is instantly gone, replaced by that of a confident young woman. I tell her that I am a retired marine engineer, and that my daughter and her husband are both marine engineers as well.

"Wow. Somebody who actually gets me," she says. "I bet you haven't met many Math majors who make a lot of their tuition by taking off their clothes." I allowed that she was the very first .

We talked a bit about math and engineering, and how people who are born for it know by the time they're ten. She loves Jimmy Buffett! She loves rum, especially in pina coladas and mojitos.

Finally, it was almost time for me to leave. Can we do a couple of LDs? I ask. Sure thing.

Back in the lap dance room, she waits for the next song to start, loses her top immediately, plants my face right between her boobs and proceeds to give me two dances that are easily in the top five percent ever.

Definitely a great young woman. The guy that can appreciate that she offers the whole package: beauty, smarts, and sensuality, will be one lucky dude. Would that I was 25 again!

20 comments

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shailynn
9 years ago
Note to JS69: Unicorn = DS
vincemichaels
9 years ago
Ride that unicorn !!
jackslash
9 years ago
This girl sounds like the square root of -100: A perfect 10 but purely imaginary.

Q. What do you call a one-sided nudie bar?
A. A Mobius strip club.

Q. Why should you never mention the number 288 to a stripper?
A. It's too gross.

Q. Why didn't the stripper like analytic geometry?
A. It was too graphic.

Q. Why can't mathematicians kiss?
A. Because they don't believe in two divided by nothing.

Q. Why are strippers like the square root of 2?
A. Because they are completely irrational.

Q. Why is a stripper like a math book?
A. They both have a lot of problems.

JohnSmith69
9 years ago
Thanks for the translation
4got2wipe
9 years ago
Ace post jackslash!
motorhead
9 years ago
Strippers are complex numbers.
crazyjoe
9 years ago
Congrats ATAC
rockstar666
9 years ago
Three statisticians go hunting. The first takes a shot at a rabbit but shoots over its head. The second shoots too low and hits the ground. The thirs shouts, "We got him!".

Yes, a unicorn indeed! An actual student who dances! Perhaps she's even not a flake?
Dominic77
9 years ago
Yes you lucked out. I have a similar dancer at my club except her dances are in the bottom 10th percentile. She does the dances to the letter of the club rules and letter of the city/state laws. Very low mileage. So the other dancers who break or bend the rules are typically more fun. But she is an interesting woman and very smart. I enjoy her for what she is though.
MrDeuce
9 years ago
Speaking as a former cryptologist and current mathematician and SC hound -- Great story!

jackslash: "This girl sounds like the square root of -100: A perfect 10 but purely imaginary." -- Brilliant!

MrDeuce
9 years ago
Q: Why do cold strippers like to sit in the corner of the club?
A: Because it's 90 degrees there.
Dominic77
9 years ago
I'm laughing at the jokes here more than I was at Danwilliams epic fail! Keep 'em coming.
seaboardrr
9 years ago
Q. Why should you never mention the number 288 to a stripper?
A. It's too gross.

I got to this one and had to stop for a second before it hit me you were doing math jokes. That was funny.
Dominic77
9 years ago
Don't forget to Euler up next time! (pun intended)
ATACdawg
9 years ago
Oooooh. Oooooh! I almost forgot! She has no tattoos, either!!!!!!!
shadowcat
9 years ago
I know where you found her.

https://www.tuscl.net/u.php?UID=266639
pensionking
9 years ago
I have a math chubby right about now! Good stuff fellow mathematicians.
Bavarian
9 years ago
The lucky dude is going to be your typical stripper boyfriend.
sharkhunter
9 years ago
I could have told her a story how I almost became the first person in South Carolina to hit a very large Panther with their car. I was bracing for impact with a very large dark colored cat that jumped out in front of my car but running across the road very fast around 5 am. I was bracing for an impact thinking no way can I miss it. Between it's head to tail, it spanned the full width of my car. Fortunately for the cat, it was super fast and I did not hit it. Well it's tail might have brushed my car but otherwise no impact that I could tell. It was the only time I saw a cat that big and if they move when traffic is very light and are that fast, that explains why they are a myth according to the SC DOT. I called it a black panther at the time.

Congrats on finding a unicorn. I occasionally look outside my back window before going outside first on occasion because my sighting was only a few miles from my house. I looked up cyrptology and noticed it was about legendary creatures. Abovetopsecret has a section on it where people have posted stories of sightings.
MrDeuce
9 years ago
sharkhunter: No, "cryptozoology" is the pseudoscience of imaginary creatures, such as Bigfoot, the Loch Ness monster, and the yeti. "Cryptology", on the other hand, is the study of secure communication, i.e. codes and ciphers. I would agree that a stripper studying mathematics and cryptology is an appropriate specimen for cryptozoological investigation :)
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