Stripper Self-Esteem

Treat them like shit then you will fuck them for free

^^^Lol, that's actually true in most of the situations.

Fake tits!

+1 Juice Mang. That's it. Toss a few dollars, to the strippers you know you're not gonna fuck (I guess just to show you ain't a broke nigga), and completely treat the ones you do want to fuck like nothing special.

I will try this after Thanks Giving week.

Hell yea !

It's probably true that strippers have low self-esteem and it pays to treat them badly. But I can't bring myself to treat a stripper badly if I like her.

Hahaha this topic is killing me.

It should bitch

Treat all strippers like shit -- a perfect synopsis of Nubster's System. Very sad.

^^^JS69 it's age appropriate. The closer in age you are to strippers the more you have to demonstrate that ain't shit to you. Of I'm 20 years older (so not unless she's 14) then I play the older mature nice guy. But strippers, and other females generally want a guy who feels like they are superior to them, and thus we are forced to demonstrate this by treating them like something akin to garbage.

GACA, you can demonstrate authority and confidence to a woman without treating her badly. But if a woman has such low self esteem that she thinks she deserves to be treated badly, then I wouldn't want anything to do with her.

"Ok, we've established 99% of strippers have low self-esteem, so how can you apply this information while SC'ing."

So if you treat them well, and never in anyway less than you would treat other women, then you can have them eating out of your hand. You can have highly sexualized girls pouring it on just for you.

Just don't ever treat them like prostitutes. And forget the "pimp moves" and the "shit testing".

SJG sites.google.com

Mick Talyor, Red House youtube.com

SJG very short and succinct. Nice

:)

SJG

Occasionally even SJG gets it right.

And occasionally even JS69 says something worth remembering.

SJG

^not really.

The day I find myself manipulating a vulnerable young woman's self-esteem just for a blowjob, is the day I re-evaluate my own self-esteem :) I don't really "apply" anything, I'm just aware that women often find offense or insult in statements that aren't meant to be insulting, and strippers find offense or insult 10x more than most women. So I do my best not to say anything stupid until we've built up a little trust, but the best I usually manage is "not TOO many stupid things".

"The day I find myself manipulating a vulnerable young woman's self-esteem just for a blowjob, is the day I re-evaluate my own self-esteem"

Spot on Subra. My nature is to treat others as I want to be treated and I just can't treat another like shit just for my own gains. If that means I have less sex so be it.

Interesting to see which posters enjoy or even find it necessary to use a stripper's lack of self-esteem against them, as opposed to those who can't/won't. Makes me curious what else these two groups of customers have in common.

daybreaker, the ones who do use it against them are mostly trolls. Makes sense since nobody loves troll.

"The day I find myself manipulating a vulnerable young woman's self-esteem just for a blowjob, is the day I re-evaluate my own self-esteem"

Vulnerable woman...please these girls are using our vulnerability (testosterone fueled

*well that was akward...

Vulnerable woman?

Every one in the SC is vulnerable except the club owner.

And these girls will use our vulnerability (drunken testosterone fueled decision making) to drain every single penny from us. And I'm not supposed to use what is available to me to even the playing field? GTFOH

Unlike a lot of other posters I will at least leave a sizable tip. In the end it's about a mutually/equally beneficial transactional experience.

If you're not manipulating in an SC, simply put you're being manipulated. I'd like to think I manipulate it so that everyone wins :)

@just_the_nuts I just saw your reply. All I have to say is...OMG PLEEZE LET ME SUCK UR DICK!!

^^^so that is the reaction I'm expecting :)

How does this make anyone uncomfortable. Y'all read stripperweb all the time. That's uncomfortable.

I agree with juice man. Unfortunately I don't have the patience to treat them like shit. Its easier to just go away.

so because I'm closer in age to strippers, that's why I can't get extras from them? Or anything other than mechanical "wanna dance"

What experiment did you use to find that 99% of strippers have low self-esteem? Perhaps who should try to replicate it and see if you get the same number.

Conversely, how many of the guys getting dances or extras from these girls have low self-esteem?

LOL

Nina +3

SJG

I'd say 80% of guys in the strip club have low self esteem too. Guys who need validation, need ego stroking, and need to feel desired. Absolutely.

And I see them all the time (like Bavarian & Timex).

And strippers use this to take every dollar they can.

Let's not pretend that strippers try to of get as much as they can for as little as possible , I would too. And they're definitely gonna take advantage of the emotionally week.

It's not like a stripper gonna say no I don't want to take money from a man with low self esteem.

I don't know. I've met lots of strippers who have what I consider a good level of self-esteem, the kind where they know their worth without having to shove it in everyone's face. Of course, that's the type of woman I'm attracted to anyway, so maybe I've just gotten to the point where I filter out the ones who don't.

@NinaBambina “What experiment did you use to find that 99% of strippers have low self-esteem?”

strangely i agree with Nina (and stranger still with san_jose_guy). your 99% number seems to be absurdly low.

OMFG Dr. Phil, please start writing for television if you don't already.

Alway deliver the perfect zinger (even at my expense something)

Comedic genius

Hmm, that's an interesting topic. Speaking of myself, stripping made me way more self-confident. I was kinda fugly growing up - frizzy hair, braces, glasses, overly skinny to the point that kids were calling me "skeleton". Although I have changed by 16-17, I still was holding insecurities from my childhood. And thus, I was super shy and a bit dorky. Hence nobody was attracted to me. I didn't even have a real date till I was like 18.

It changed after I started dancing - when every night multiple men stare at you when you are on stage, keep telling you that you are hot, gorgeous, beautiful, perfect, etc and shower with money, shit, it does boost your ego, not gonna lie.

Of course, I have no illusions that I am just a piece of meat to customers but do I really care?:)

I think people will argue, that true self-esteem doesn't come from what others think of you but what you think of yourself.

I call bullshit. I apply the 80-20 rule. 80% of what you think of yourself matters, but 20% of what others think keeps you from being a total douche bag and socially functional.

I think most of us have met some pretty sad bottom feeding strippers in our adventures. But most of us have also met up with some phenomenal ladies who had their heads on straight and were meant for bigger things after they finished their stripper run and hung up their heels.

Once at Sunnyvale's Sporty's Bar ( formerly Candid Club, formerly Richard's Lounge ) a nice bouncer said that most dancers have "unresolved issues".

I agree with this. And I haven't done any scientific surveys, but it just my impression from having spent long times talking with lots and lots of them.

But notice that this is not the same thing as saying that they have "low self-esteem".

GACA wrote, "I'd say 80% of guys in the strip club have low self esteem too. Guys who need validation, need ego stroking, and need to feel desired. Absolutely. "

I understand why it looks like this, but I still don't apply the same interpretation to it.

I think the dancers and customers in strip clubs tend to be people whose social legitimacy has somehow been challenged. That is, they don't really have a legitimated place in the world. I don't talk about this as a self-esteem issue, as that puts the blame back on them. I see it as a societal problem.

So you find men who are unmarriageable because their job prospects don't enable them to support a wife and family. They are in an underclass. And then also, they lack political consciousness, so they see this as a personal failing instead of a societal and political problem. As such, they can be quite screwy and unengagable. And so then, all the women can do is just try to take money off of them, but without being very open to them.

And then likewise with the dancers, their life prospects have been blocked. Often what this comes down to is familial childhood sexual abuse. I'm not saying the sexual abuse rate is necessarily higher among dancers, but is among dancers that you find those whose life prospects have been blocked, and also you find some who are open and understanding of this.

Here in South Bay, I would say that are large number of the White dancers are just shit heads. They are working and living in a marginalized state, but they don't understand why this is, so they are nutty.

Now we would get some White girls from San Francisco who are politically aware on all fronts, gender, sexual abuse, economics. These girls are quite interesting. Often they had left where they came from for San Francisco, but then decided they wanted to work in a softer core club, so they came to Sunnyvale.

Now among the non-White dancers, being an ethnic minority their opportunities have been less. So often you find them at the strip club for very different reasons. They just want a job that pays well, while they raise their kids or go to school. And often they are working regular jobs as well. One AA dancer was a Bank Loan Officer. One from Guadalajara was a pro Body Builder and also worked in retail lingerie store. Another from Vietnam cut hair ( including mine ). Another Asian was Manager of Accounts Payable for a high tech firm. The ethnic minority girl don't have some sort of a rupture in their life the way the White girls ( being the privileged majority ) tend to.

SJG sites.google.com

Peter Green & Fleetwood Mac - The Blues Years youtube.com

^^^ interesting hypothesis SJG. But what of the men within marriage age (27-37) who go to strip clubs who make more than enough to provide for two families (if the median income is $60k) Why are the (well me anyway) spending so much time looking for action there?

*And not saying outside those age aren't marriage material but typically that's the age of a fist marriage

Where I live, $60k would be very hard to live on. So if a guy can't buy a house, any long term relationship is going to be challenged. Women tend to be conformist. So if her girl friends are with guys with more money, there is going to be a huge problem. Totally unfair, but that's how it is. Women impose societally normative expectations, realistic or not.

But as far as why you are looking for action in strip clubs, you tell me?

I would say that most of the people who spend time in strip clubs have had their life prospects thwarted at some point. It could be a bad ongoing marriage. It could be a failed marriage and divorce.

It is very hard to make sense of divorce and go on. I mean, you did your best, but it still failed. How does one every make sense of this?

And then you have guys like JS69, with more dollars than sense. He doesn't even want to understand why his marriage failed. He just wants to drown in marijuana and paid for pussy.

Still amounts to the same thing though, someone who has experienced major life reversal but has not yet been able to deal with it.

SJG

I'm sure the dancers who post here are the exceptions, but every dancer I've ever got to know personally has deserved the low self esteem they have, because they don't work at putting their lives in order. They make a lot of money, but seem to spend it faster. They support boyfriends/husbands who mooch off of them. They break dates without warning. They crash their cars and get DUI's. They are single mothers who claim their kids are their lives but don't provide the mothering kids need. They get so many tats you have to wonder about their self confidence (okay I'll concede this last point is a personal prejudice).

And on top of that, they are prostitutes, which can make self esteem a difficult endeavor. I'm sure there are dancers who invest their earnings, don't do 100 extras a week and have adequate time devoted to their children, but I haven't met many.

I'm not saying that lots of women don't have a few of these issues, but dancers seem to have ALL of them, all the time.

^^^^^^ Women who I felt that way about I would not engage with at all.

In my experience, at least with most of the strippers I've actually spent extended time talking with , they are most likeable people and they deserve respect and admiration in how they handle their affairs. If I were female I believe I'd want to be living the way they do.

It is only a few who really rubbed me the wrong way, and at core this had to do with how much their lives revolved around chemical intoxicants, and then with how screwy this makes them.

SJG sites.google.com

The Jimi Hendrix Experience, rare footage youtube.com

$60k isn't a lot anywhere. I said I make twice that. Come'on SJG. Reading interpretation please.

Median income of $60k would be tough, where I live. But you tell me, why are you in strip clubs instead of dating civilians?

Lots of rich guys are also delegitimated in one way or another.

SJG

Because I'm a broken piece of shot obviously :)

Well, yes, this is how it is for those of us who have spent lots of time in strip clubs.

For me it was also because I needed the social experience of interacting verbally with more girls.

It was also because I really like the sexual aesthetics, the girls in high heels and makeup, and those of them, like at the Mexican Bar shows, who are really good at engaging with strangers.

It is this aesthetic which I will be recreating in my personal life, totally off the clock.

But I've never used strip clubs as a regular form of sexual gratification.

I have used AMPs this way though, in three counties. But eventually I saw that what I was doing was not good, and besides my credit cards were maxed out, and so I stopped.

In the future I will be using Strip Clubs and AMPs to rapidly hook up with women in new towns I will be visiting, and again to enjoy the sexual aesthetics.

SJG

Yes, the lost broadcasts youtube.com

GACA, you say "broken". This is exactly how I see it. Meaning, I don't see any of these persons as innately bad or defective. They just run into more life set backs than they have been able to deal with, both the men and the women.

But coming to understand this can be even more of a challenge for people.

SJG

I agree with Dancer95 - if anything, dancing has improved my confidence. I started to think I was pretty in my teenage years, but was still an extremely quiet and passive person. Since to make money dancing, I'd HAVE to converse with strangers, it forced me to do so and it has paid off. I'm much more assertive now in every day life. Before I stripped I sat in the back of my classrm and avoided participation. Now I always sit in the first few rows, participate a lot, communicate with my professors, etc. I was able to move by myself into a nice apt complex in a high-income city. I'm much better at talking to people in general. Dancing really helped me come out of my shell.

Confidence and self-esteem aren't really the same thing? A lot of celebrities are confident as far as interactions with an audience. But they live fucked up lives spin out of control and destroy themselves.

I always thought it was funny how someone can esteem themselves but still not be confident when it comes to interactions and vice versa.

And I know we live in a society where confidence is key to success, but confidence in a small part of in the ocean that is self-esteem

Ok, but a person with high self-esteem is generally going to be more confident in themselves, obviously. Self-esteem is how a person measures his/her worth, right? And confidence is a person's belief in their abilities? So usually a person w/high self esteem and self value will have high self confidence....

"I think most of us have met some pretty sad bottom feeding strippers in our adventures. But most of us have also met up with some phenomenal ladies who had their heads on straight and were meant for bigger things after they finished their stripper run and hung up their heels."

Brilliant!

I'll argue a person with high self esteem is a person with high self acceptance. That is the are aware if their weakness (maybe they are shy, maybe they aren't that smart) but don't punish themselves over it. This person will have clear boundaries and won't let them be compromised.

I'll argue that because you esteem yourself highly doesn't actually make you an outwardly confident, but some level of esteem us absolutely necessary for confidence.

We as a society put way too much stock in confidence as an indication of esteem. And it's actually a pretty poor litmus test.

I would say that the self-esteem problem is most likely to be acute in White dancers. Blacks, Latinas, and Asians tend not to have this problem. They dance to make good money. Most of the Whites dance because they are the family blacksheep, but they don't really understand this.

SJG sites.google.com

John Mayall youtube.com

I'm coming to the conclusion that girls with low self-esteem are actually harder to sex than girls with a healthy self-esteem. Unless of course your a a druggie pimp thug broke wanna be wrapper rock band loser

I somewhat agree, although idk what your last sentence was getting at. I know plenty of girls I went to school with whose list of guys they've fucked is a mile long. I always wonder what their self-esteem must be like to fuck anything that walks. These girls also hate being single, are always in short relationships, and tend to cheat on their boyfriends.

One of these girls was a close friends of mine when we were like 12, then we stopped hanging out because of different schools, and when I saw her again in high school, she was hanging out with the loser/burnout crowd. She never graduated. By the time she was 20 she'd had like 4 abortions and 3 miscarriages. Once she fucked my male friends and his friend both without a condom on the same night. A while later she found out she was pregnant, and although she'd fucked about 5 guys within the couple days of her time of conception, she automatically pinned it on my friend just because he had the most money. She miscarried. She finally had a baby a year ago, and it has no father. Just a sperm donor.

This same girl stripped before I started stripping, only lasted a few months, but let a guy fuck her in the ass without a condom for $80. She admitted it. Her bestie sucked a guys dick at one of their loser parties for 2 cigarettes. They both admit to doing these things. The girl's mom is a former heroin addict, she never met her dad, and she comes from a poor, "white trash" sorta background. Hopefully now that she has a kid she has a bit more self worth.

The number of guys I've had sex with is relatively low for my age. My best friend is 23 and a virgin, although she isn't into guys much anyway. If I had to guess, I'd say she and I both have above average self-esteem. She also works with me, and makes almost as much as I do.

Poor self image can come from a lot of places, and it holds on tenaciously. There is a dancer at our club whose father was verbally abusive, to the point where she left home at 15 and finished high school living with various friends. At one point in her life, she was tall and very heavy.

Today, she is 29. She dieted and exercised her weight away and is now just spectacular. Auburn hair, fabulous natural body, beautiful face. I once overheard another dancer call her "the most naturally beautiful girl in the club".

In her own eyes she is still that awkward, gangly overweight girl who was told by her father that she wasn't good enough, that she was ugly, stupid, and fat. None of us can convince her of the truth.

Her father finally got anger management counseling and has apologized to her for pretty much everything he said, and they are OK with each other these days.

The damage, however, still lingers. :-(