Stripper Self-Esteem
GACA
Un-retired: Met my ATF. Married her. Divorcing her.
Subra made a point of strippers having low self-esteem and masking it with aggressive behavior. Lots of girls have low self esteem.
I guess my question to Subra, and anyone else is:
Ok, we've established 99% of strippers have low self-esteem, so how can you apply this information while SC'ing.
I guess my question to Subra, and anyone else is:
Ok, we've established 99% of strippers have low self-esteem, so how can you apply this information while SC'ing.
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56 comments
I will try this after Thanks Giving week.
So if you treat them well, and never in anyway less than you would treat other women, then you can have them eating out of your hand. You can have highly sexualized girls pouring it on just for you.
Just don't ever treat them like prostitutes. And forget the "pimp moves" and the "shit testing".
SJG
https://sites.google.com/site/sjgportal/…
Mick Talyor, Red House
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6G7IOoX…
SJG
SJG
Spot on Subra. My nature is to treat others as I want to be treated and I just can't treat another like shit just for my own gains. If that means I have less sex so be it.
Vulnerable woman...please these girls are using our vulnerability (testosterone fueled
Vulnerable woman?
Every one in the SC is vulnerable except the club owner.
And these girls will use our vulnerability (drunken testosterone fueled decision making) to drain every single penny from us. And I'm not supposed to use what is available to me to even the playing field? GTFOH
Unlike a lot of other posters I will at least leave a sizable tip. In the end it's about a mutually/equally beneficial transactional experience.
If you're not manipulating in an SC, simply put you're being manipulated. I'd like to think I manipulate it so that everyone wins :)
Conversely, how many of the guys getting dances or extras from these girls have low self-esteem?
LOL
SJG
And I see them all the time (like Bavarian & Timex).
And strippers use this to take every dollar they can.
Let's not pretend that strippers try to of get as much as they can for as little as possible , I would too. And they're definitely gonna take advantage of the emotionally week.
It's not like a stripper gonna say no I don't want to take money from a man with low self esteem.
strangely i agree with Nina (and stranger still with san_jose_guy). your 99% number seems to be absurdly low.
Alway deliver the perfect zinger (even at my expense something)
Comedic genius
It changed after I started dancing - when every night multiple men stare at you when you are on stage, keep telling you that you are hot, gorgeous, beautiful, perfect, etc and shower with money, shit, it does boost your ego, not gonna lie.
Of course, I have no illusions that I am just a piece of meat to customers but do I really care?:)
I call bullshit. I apply the 80-20 rule. 80% of what you think of yourself matters, but 20% of what others think keeps you from being a total douche bag and socially functional.
I agree with this. And I haven't done any scientific surveys, but it just my impression from having spent long times talking with lots and lots of them.
But notice that this is not the same thing as saying that they have "low self-esteem".
GACA wrote, "I'd say 80% of guys in the strip club have low self esteem too. Guys who need validation, need ego stroking, and need to feel desired. Absolutely. "
I understand why it looks like this, but I still don't apply the same interpretation to it.
I think the dancers and customers in strip clubs tend to be people whose social legitimacy has somehow been challenged. That is, they don't really have a legitimated place in the world. I don't talk about this as a self-esteem issue, as that puts the blame back on them. I see it as a societal problem.
So you find men who are unmarriageable because their job prospects don't enable them to support a wife and family. They are in an underclass. And then also, they lack political consciousness, so they see this as a personal failing instead of a societal and political problem. As such, they can be quite screwy and unengagable. And so then, all the women can do is just try to take money off of them, but without being very open to them.
And then likewise with the dancers, their life prospects have been blocked. Often what this comes down to is familial childhood sexual abuse. I'm not saying the sexual abuse rate is necessarily higher among dancers, but is among dancers that you find those whose life prospects have been blocked, and also you find some who are open and understanding of this.
Here in South Bay, I would say that are large number of the White dancers are just shit heads. They are working and living in a marginalized state, but they don't understand why this is, so they are nutty.
Now we would get some White girls from San Francisco who are politically aware on all fronts, gender, sexual abuse, economics. These girls are quite interesting. Often they had left where they came from for San Francisco, but then decided they wanted to work in a softer core club, so they came to Sunnyvale.
Now among the non-White dancers, being an ethnic minority their opportunities have been less. So often you find them at the strip club for very different reasons. They just want a job that pays well, while they raise their kids or go to school. And often they are working regular jobs as well. One AA dancer was a Bank Loan Officer. One from Guadalajara was a pro Body Builder and also worked in retail lingerie store. Another from Vietnam cut hair ( including mine ). Another Asian was Manager of Accounts Payable for a high tech firm. The ethnic minority girl don't have some sort of a rupture in their life the way the White girls ( being the privileged majority ) tend to.
SJG
https://sites.google.com/site/sjgportal/…
Peter Green & Fleetwood Mac - The Blues Years
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DyJAkE2Q…
Why are the (well me anyway) spending so much time looking for action there?
*And not saying outside those age aren't marriage material but typically that's the age of a fist marriage
But as far as why you are looking for action in strip clubs, you tell me?
I would say that most of the people who spend time in strip clubs have had their life prospects thwarted at some point. It could be a bad ongoing marriage. It could be a failed marriage and divorce.
It is very hard to make sense of divorce and go on. I mean, you did your best, but it still failed. How does one every make sense of this?
And then you have guys like JS69, with more dollars than sense. He doesn't even want to understand why his marriage failed. He just wants to drown in marijuana and paid for pussy.
Still amounts to the same thing though, someone who has experienced major life reversal but has not yet been able to deal with it.
SJG
And on top of that, they are prostitutes, which can make self esteem a difficult endeavor. I'm sure there are dancers who invest their earnings, don't do 100 extras a week and have adequate time devoted to their children, but I haven't met many.
I'm not saying that lots of women don't have a few of these issues, but dancers seem to have ALL of them, all the time.
In my experience, at least with most of the strippers I've actually spent extended time talking with , they are most likeable people and they deserve respect and admiration in how they handle their affairs. If I were female I believe I'd want to be living the way they do.
It is only a few who really rubbed me the wrong way, and at core this had to do with how much their lives revolved around chemical intoxicants, and then with how screwy this makes them.
SJG
https://sites.google.com/site/sjgportal/…
The Jimi Hendrix Experience, rare footage
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4NPdjV_e…
Lots of rich guys are also delegitimated in one way or another.
SJG
For me it was also because I needed the social experience of interacting verbally with more girls.
It was also because I really like the sexual aesthetics, the girls in high heels and makeup, and those of them, like at the Mexican Bar shows, who are really good at engaging with strangers.
It is this aesthetic which I will be recreating in my personal life, totally off the clock.
But I've never used strip clubs as a regular form of sexual gratification.
I have used AMPs this way though, in three counties. But eventually I saw that what I was doing was not good, and besides my credit cards were maxed out, and so I stopped.
In the future I will be using Strip Clubs and AMPs to rapidly hook up with women in new towns I will be visiting, and again to enjoy the sexual aesthetics.
SJG
Yes, the lost broadcasts
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SszeZhF9…
But coming to understand this can be even more of a challenge for people.
SJG
I always thought it was funny how someone can esteem themselves but still not be confident when it comes to interactions and vice versa.
And I know we live in a society where confidence is key to success, but confidence in a small part of in the ocean that is self-esteem
Brilliant!
I'll argue that because you esteem yourself highly doesn't actually make you an outwardly confident, but some level of esteem us absolutely necessary for confidence.
We as a society put way too much stock in confidence as an indication of esteem. And it's actually a pretty poor litmus test.
SJG
https://sites.google.com/site/sjgportal/
John Mayall
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKcmDCPC…
One of these girls was a close friends of mine when we were like 12, then we stopped hanging out because of different schools, and when I saw her again in high school, she was hanging out with the loser/burnout crowd. She never graduated. By the time she was 20 she'd had like 4 abortions and 3 miscarriages. Once she fucked my male friends and his friend both without a condom on the same night. A while later she found out she was pregnant, and although she'd fucked about 5 guys within the couple days of her time of conception, she automatically pinned it on my friend just because he had the most money. She miscarried. She finally had a baby a year ago, and it has no father. Just a sperm donor.
This same girl stripped before I started stripping, only lasted a few months, but let a guy fuck her in the ass without a condom for $80. She admitted it. Her bestie sucked a guys dick at one of their loser parties for 2 cigarettes. They both admit to doing these things. The girl's mom is a former heroin addict, she never met her dad, and she comes from a poor, "white trash" sorta background. Hopefully now that she has a kid she has a bit more self worth.
The number of guys I've had sex with is relatively low for my age. My best friend is 23 and a virgin, although she isn't into guys much anyway. If I had to guess, I'd say she and I both have above average self-esteem. She also works with me, and makes almost as much as I do.
Today, she is 29. She dieted and exercised her weight away and is now just spectacular. Auburn hair, fabulous natural body, beautiful face. I once overheard another dancer call her "the most naturally beautiful girl in the club".
In her own eyes she is still that awkward, gangly overweight girl who was told by her father that she wasn't good enough, that she was ugly, stupid, and fat. None of us can convince her of the truth.
Her father finally got anger management counseling and has apologized to her for pretty much everything he said, and they are OK with each other these days.
The damage, however, still lingers. :-(