How can I handle this????

You understand that your wife's friend thinks she witnessed a date, but you consider it just a meal out with a female. If your wife's friend feels the need to inject her own perspective on what she witnessed - it's up to her to tell your wife.

“If it doesn't fit; you must acquit”.

You can just say it is a young lady whom you struck up a conversation w/ at a Starbucks (she was studying there and had books and you inquired at to her field of study and it was X) – you then shared w/ her you are a lawyer and she says she's been considering law-school but she doesn't know if she's cut out for it. You are mentoring her and sharing your experience and one night while at Starbucks while you were talking w/ her and giving her advice you both got hungry and you invited her to a nice meal especially with her being a struggling college student.

How is your" Gorgeous 20 something woman"gonna feel when your left one is missing?

Papi, that's it. Mentoring. I keep forgetting that what I do is mentoring. Thanks!

By the way, it was the nicest restaurant in town.

^ you are a generous man so of course you would take a struggling college student to the nicest restaurant in town since she could not do/afford it herself

You text with your wife's best friend? How does that work?

I thought you said your wife knew you were likely seeing other females but did not want to hear about it or have her nose rubbed in it. Maybe not.

Shark, no.

Mikey, we don't text often but she knows my number.

Do yourself a favor and ditch the wife.

come on dudes…give the guy a break… these “real life” stories are a work in progress…you can’t expect the initial draft to be air tight when it comes to making any sense

you go right ahead with your story John. i’m all ears. your stories are almost as good as san_jose_guy's

It's not really your wife's friends business what you were doing out and about with a 20 something year old woman. If it's a man instead of a woman she doesn't say shit. Anything she says is speculation and unless you were making out or fondling her in the middle of the restaurant all evidence that you were on a date is circumstantial.

Seriously...I've had dates with my g/f's and never been called out, but to choose between my dates and my wife?? It's just Karma and that's the way it goes!! My wife would be better off without me anyway. I think JS69 is in the same boat.

Courting a potential client? Trying to coerce a reluctant witness to testify? Meeting with a representative of a charity you are looking to donate to after the divorce settlement is final?

@JS69, I thought you were already divorced and done? Why do you give a shit?

Could you have a niece not on your wife's side? I suspect you are in corporate law and not apt to be courting a client, but that may work. The other option is say to your wife's friend that it's nothing serious and at this point in the proceedings it will only complicate what is going quite smoothly. You're a lawyer; you know how to lie.

If you are legally separated it is none of your ex wife's or her GF's business what you do. When I was in mandatory mediation with my wife, she tried to bring up my indiscretions and the mediator told her that it was not an issue. And it was a female mediator.

Don't tell her it was a date – just tell her she was a hooker :)

But seriously – if you are separated perhaps it cannot be used against you – I assume separated people date all the time – sure the wife can be upset and use it against you; but hopefully you both agree that the marriage is over and what each of you do w/ your personal lives is each one's business.

BTW – as others have said – your wife's friend should really butt out and not stick her nose where it doesn't belong.

It is irrelevant . Your x-wife will try and get as much money out of you no matter what you do.

"It wasn't a date."

Nothing else. No bullshit stories, no elaborate lies.

She'll either tell your wife or won't. The fact that she texted you means she is conflicted. Keep it simple and she'll keep not being sure which is the best way to keep her out of it.

Any response that you make other than tell her to mind her own fucking business would be a mistake. If it comes up with your soon to be ex just ask her why her friend is in your business and why she did not come over to your table and say hello. That will disarm her accusations and the need for any further explanation . Than drop it , change the subject if she persists just say that its ridiculous for you to discuss it any further. Sounds to me like your ex's BFF is a trouble maker and you should just point that out, not act all guilty and childish by making excuses.

Thanks for all of the input. I'm going with jester's suggestion, which incorporates parts of several other people's comments as well.

jester's simple idea is probably best, but may not fly. The friend can say :then who was she" and you have to build on the story.

Try this - I was meeting a male colleague who backed out after i arrived. Saw this girl in the bar/lobby/by herself at a table and she seemed to be down in the dumps. To not eat alone and to help a stranger in distress, I invited her to join me.

Mentoring sounds like a good story. A client's daughter is thinking about law school and wanted to pick your brains about it.

I don't know what area of law you practice, but maybe you could just say it was a business dinner, which, for all intents and purposes, it was; just let them draw their own conclusions about who she was, along with the notion that, well, you're a lawyer, so anything involving that dinner is probably going to be confidential.

Habeas Corpus you idiot.

Hate to say it, but from my own experience, I'm 99.9% sure the friend will end up telling the wife.

So, plan accordingly. And have your story straight.

The response to the wife's friend should be, "Mind your own fucking business, bitch!"

As a divorce attorney of 33 years I wonder why someone with "financial transactions" is asking fellow retards on an open forum and not his attorney a question like this. I mean besides the fact its all bullshit.

Is your wife's friend hot? If she is you should take another approach! Just say: "She's a stripper I've been paying for sex! It would be just brilliant if you could join us for a threesome! I pay a lot for good sex! What do you think about that?"

If she's not hot go with jester214's response!

How about, "She's a business acquaintance who is involved in an ugly divorce. She thinks that she's being screwed by her lawyer and wanted some input from me."

Best of all, you can say it all with a straight face because it's all true!

"As a divorce attorney of 33 years I wonder why someone with "financial transactions" is asking fellow retards on an open forum and not his attorney a question like this. I mean besides the fact its all bullshit."

Wow, who pissed in your cornflakes this morning? And why do you always preface your comments by telling us how long you've been a fucking divorce attorney, as if that means that your opinions on anything other than divorce law have some type of special credibility. I've been a lawyer as long as you have, but I don't feel the need to waive it in everybody's face all the time.

I think this was the perfect group to ask my question. My question was not a legal question. Instead, it was a question about how to best lie to cover up the fact that I'm having sex with a stripper. I can't think of a better group to ask that question of. And the answers I got were a lot better than what my lawyer would have told me ( after he got done laughing about the fact that I would pay him to ask a professional such a question).

As for it all being bullshit, this seems like a strange thread in which to make that tiring allegation. I understand if you want to claim that I'm lying when I say that a strippers mom wants to date me, or that I saw a midget shot guy. But being spotted in a restaurant in my home town at dinner with a stripper is not implausible in the slightest.

Ski generally only comes to "discussion" to pee in everybody's corn flakes, cheerios, or captain crunch. Then he drives to work to pee on the rest of life's morons in this "once great land of ours"! It's what he does JS. It's not personal - we all suck!

Ski is more generous in the review section!

I understand skepticism regarding the stories on here! Indeed, given my abject failure to secure ITC on my first try (I've done escorts in the distant past but never ITC) I wonder how many of the brilliantly crazy stories are true!

But I figure some are and I might as well treat them as true! I'm even treating the idea of a suit-wearing lion that owns an AK and dates JohnSmith69's DS as true! Though I still wonder how he gets around the trigger guard with his fat lion paws! ;)

John,

I wouldn't worry too much about it. Let your wife bring it up to you. Because if you start to tell lies and what not. You don't want to get into it.

If your wife (ex-wife) doesn't bring it up.... forget about it. If she does bring it up just tell her you took a friend out to dinner. If she starts to ask more questions... tell her, "I thought you didn't want to know this type of things?"..... that should shut her up right there. If it doesn't shut her up go with any story you want. But business associate or potential client or customer is something that would work as well.

As a lawyer, you should already know that the best thing you can do is keep your mouth shut. :)

At most, it rates "I can't discuss it."

If he says he's mentoring her, or that she isn't sure about law school and wanted to pick your brain, the wife WILL be skeptical and may think they are fucking or will eventually fuck her. She will wonder why he, according to him, took her the best place in town for what was probably a dinner, instead of to a business lunch.

Say she was an important client or that she works with you. Who cares if she's young, you can theoretically be an attorney by 25 or so, and one can be a paralegal, assistant, or law clerk before that.

I don't know what kind of law you practice or how much she knows about your firm, your practice, your work schedule, etc. But any good lawyer will be able to think on their feet and say whatever they need or make up any scenario that fits and gets the heat off them.

I had a similar situation a few years back. I was in a relationship, and one of my GF's good friends texted me saying she saw me grocery shopping with another girl. Of course she told my girlfriend without letting me explain. These women SMH.

Mentoring sounds like a good idea, that would make sense. There's a lot of people that's unsure of law school, and they go meet with lawyers for advice.

I believe JS's stories, if they're not true, at least they're entertaining. A lot better than the garbage that is posted here on the regular.

Oh boo hoo John Smith. So you're having issues that involve DS2. Maybe I should take her away from you too. All of the sluttiest female hairless apes love BSLC.

Problem solved. You're welcome.

You know her better than we do. In general it's best not to admit anything.

It sounds like she didn't assume prostitute. That's good. You may be able to make a joke along the lines of "I wish it was a date!" Since you're a lawyer you can legitimately say "it was work related but I unfortunately can't talk about it"

I'm not sure if you live in some ass backwards redneck state where fucking someone else before the ink dries can screw you over. But is it really so awful if you were dating? I mean, that is what people do after a divorce.

@skibum

As a retard, I want to know why anyone would ask an attorney? Especially one of 33 years? Attorneys don't answer questions they just reference circular arguemwnts. Law is not black and white because judges use to be lawyers and don't want it black and white.

If you have been an attorney for 33 years you must be way below average. At 33 years, if you were good you would have had more than enough money to retire before now. Practicing family law is a license to steal. Wouldn't take me 33 years to do it either.

@JohnSmith69 wrote:

“As a divorce attorney of 33 years…” and “I've been a lawyer as long as you have”

well that would mean that you aren’t really 50ish but closer to 60ish.

not to worry but imho you do need to tighten up these stories. i mean a lawyer asking other people how to lie is pretty darn implausible. good grief man that smacks of a san_jose_guy level fabrication and you must realize what a collection of obviously lame assed lies all of his posts are i’m sure

strive for quality over quantity and i think your stories will begin to show a marked improvement

Yes, I see jester214's post. It makes sense, "It wasn't a date." You need to deal with women like that. Just stand your ground and stick to your story. Any other way only multiplies the negative emotions and pain.

You were the one before who said you don't club or OTC in your home town. Need to continue to keep it that way, at least for a while.

SJG sites.google.com

Question for JS69, because of his DS bath tub experience, how big of a tub do you need? tuscl.net

SJG

Hey lion, I still need something to blow the crap out of with my new semi automatic tactical shotgun. I'm getting tired of just shooting clays.

Honest question--if you are legally separated, why does it matter if you are dating? If you are separated and both parties agreed to it, why is it her business? Is it possible the best friend doesn't know you are separated or has been lead to believe you are thinking of reconciling? Best friends will always tell. That's just the way it is, with us chicks.

@SamPepys “…but nail down the details before you start lying.”

that’s what i was trying to tell John about his posts. thanks for simplifying the concept. after all, one imbecilic gravy drinking lying psycho is more than enough for this board

I explained in the post why this matters despite my separation. We have a lot of monetary transactions yet to be completed (in other words, she has partial control of money and assets that will ultimately be mine), and if she gets all emotional about me dating women who are younger than her when we got married, then she could make it much it much harder and more expensive for me to get control of that money and assets. I need to keep things as civil as possible for a few more months (as hard as that is to do) unless our financial dealings with one another are completely severed. So this is not her business, but if she chooses to try and make it her business it could make my life much more complicated. I want an uncomplicated life where I just get high, fuck strippers, criticize Dougster, and shoot lions who claim to have sex with my dream strippers. The best friend knows that we are separated, and FP is probably right that best friends always tell.

In a perverse way, I kind of want her to know that I'm fucking a young 20ish year old. That'll teach her to refuse the simple sexual requests of her loving husband. If she refuses, I'll switch to this one who never has, and never will, say no. Not to any request. It's always yes John. And all men have this option. You just need to understand strippers.

Or even better, I want her to suspect that I'm probably fucking a 20 year old, but not be sure how in the world the husband that she knows and hates could possibly land such an awesome woman. She will be trying to figure it out all of the time, thinking about me fucking a 20 year old college student day after day. I'm sure the friend will tell her how gorgeous the woman was that I was with. A 9.5 easily, with a low cut top that I was staring at throughout dinner with her permission. My dancer is what all of these middle aged plus women wants to be but never was and never can be -- a gorgeous knockout that every heterosexual male lusts for.

Note, this last post was written just as the weed kicked in. Hopefully this thread is dead and nobody will read this. If not, I'm sorry. The little head wrote this.

Go ahead and rub her nose in it after all ties are severed. But be patient.

You're also being reckless these days. President separation JS69 would never have taken DS on a date locally.

if a wife only had to show up, look good, have sex and get paid for it it would be a yes every time.

Update, in case anyone is curious, the friend says she won't tell her. Not sure that I believe that though.

Perhaps the friend came to her senses after she thought about it or ran it by her husband/S.O. and he told her to butt out.

Why not say you tried fucking her and she refused. I used that excuse and I got the pass.

I say that JohnSmith69 is right. You want to minimize pain for the ex and for yourself, sticking to a 'not a date' story. Separated or not, there are still things to be settled and just no reason to rub any salt in any wounds. Best just to conceal and stick to the story.

Ideally there can be some sort of a peace treaty with the ex, after all the dust is settled.

And getting high is not what is needed at this time, or at any other time either.

JS69, how big were the bathtubs you used with the DS, like 90 gallons and 72"x42", or more like 148 gallons and 72"x 60", or were they more the corner type?

SJG sites.google.com

SJG, that's blue pill. Totally lame.

My point is that the priority should be to avoid unnecessary antagonism with his separated and soon to be divorced wife. He should just defend his privacy with a white lie, and stick to it.

Hopefully there can eventually be peace with the ex. No reason to have avoidable strife at this time.

SJG sites.google.com

Dude, you exude and is oozing the Beta Male Provider.

Agsin, dude, stop taking the blue pill.

Hard to believe I know, but I forgot to bring a tape measure on my DS trips. But the tubs usually comfortably held two people, three tops. Whatever size that is.

When I'm not high, I agree with SJG that I should avoid antagonism. But I'm going to keep smoking weed, and it makes me want to tell her that I fuck women far less than half her age.

I guess in a few months, none of this will matter will it? I'd try to avoid talking about it to anyone who knows. except us of course. She doesn't know you post online does she?

JohnSmith69 - is your weed smoking a recent development? I can't think of any other reason it would make someone more antagonistic. It usually does the opposite for me. However, word of advice, don't try benzos. You might just tell her everything.

SImple -- say it wasn't a date and invoke attorney/client confidentiality privledge. Game over.

My weed habit is if recent origin. The DS taught me. Weed makes me mellow, not adversarial. But it also makes me horny. Being horny makes me want to fuck a stripper. Wanting to fuck a stripper makes me angry that my wife won't put out. Being mad that she won't put out makes me want to tell her stories about fucking strippers. I'm a complex guy.

Weed may appear to make people non-adversarial, but in fact it makes people adversarial towards anyone who doesn't live by denial. So weed makes people much more adversarial, even crazy.

Alabegonz wrote, "Dude, you exude and is oozing the Beta Male Provider"

Okay, now I understand what you mean by Blue Pill.

I think it is best to be able to be flexible and to see things from multiple vantage points at the same time.

I think posturing should be limited. The Alpha Male stuff that the Pick Up Artists put out is nonsense, total bullshit, comical. It is only posturing.

I work to have real world victories. Often these are political. I don't just act cocky to impress women. But nor do I let them define me as some sort of money making machine.

I think also it is important to understand that women, to a large degree, still want to be provided for. Though this may not happen and may not even be possible, there is nothing wrong with them wanting this.

I think we all have been denied standing in this world. But because we are so brainwashed by the self-reliance ethic, we don't join political forces and stand up for ourselves or do anything to restore our social and civil standing.

I would like to see this change.

JS69, Still curious to know how much a large bathtub is good for, versus when you need a small hot tub. Related is how much water these take, whether it is coming from the water heater, or if you need heavy additional electric heating to make it work.

Thanks SJG sites.google.com

Doyle Bramhall II youtube.com