Dealing with rejection

It's like asking for a blow job. If she says no, then just move on.

Yeah I'll move on from her, but the point is she will never get any of my business again.

You mention setting up OTC or to see when she's working so if its for those purposes and she rejects you then yeah, her loss. On to the next one! But if you're trying to fuck her for free and she rejects you, that's different.

I haven't asked for a strippers number yet but if I did and she rejected me, I'd be finished with her.

It's her decision. If she doesn't want to give me her number, I'm not offended.

Yes it's her decision, she's free to do whatever she wants. I guess my question is if you ask for her number, and she rejects you, how do you deal with her in the future? Do you continue getting dances with her ITC? Do you ignore her? Do you keep trying to get her number on future visits?

@chess- if I'm trying to fuck her for free, and she denies my number request, I'll likely keep trying if I really want that pussy.

Honestly, I've never applied the word "rejection" to this, since it is loaded with connotations of bad feelings. At the point I ask her for her number -- typically, that means at the end of our session, the very first time we meet -- I'm not invested in her in the slightest, and if she either is too short-sighted to have a separate number for customers in general, or doesn't want to give it to me in particular ... well, water off a duck's back. There's no rejection, and its implied feelings, there's just the plain fact that her business model does not meet my needs as a customer. Sometimes I just ignore her from then on out, but sometimes if I had fun drinking with her at the table, I'll still hang with her during future trips as a drinking buddy to fill in some of the time while I'm looking for another stripper to pick. For me, having a good drinking buddy is a value in itself, so I'm okay with that, and earlier this year, one of my drinking buddies who had earlier refused to give me her number, changed her mind and asked ME if I wanted to take her number, after we hung out a few times (that wasn't my goal, but it was a nice benefit), she evidently is just one of those girls who is a little more careful in who she gives her # to (dumb business model, IMO)

Refusing to provide her number doesn't offend me. Strippers often make stupid mistakes that cost them my $. That's their problem not mine.

Usually such a refusal means I'm done with her, but there are exceptions. For example, last week I met a new dancer who really turned me on. After some good lap dances, I asked for her number. She said she doesn't give her number to customers. Given that she was new, I gave her a short lesson in striping 101, especially the need for a burn phone or a burn phone ap for customers to be able to talk to her about when she's working. She didn't seem to realize that she didn't have to give guys her "real" number. I will probably get dances from her the next time because her number refusal was the result of ignorance and she will likely soon learn.

My personal take (w/ an emphasis on personal; not that my comments are SC gospel):

• IMO dancers are there to give dances for the $$$ I’m paying them for dances – way I see it I’m not entitled to their # or them hooking up w/ me OTC; all that is beyond the basic service of a dancer and it’s up to each individual dancer if she is willing to go beyond her basic duties/services

• I’m not the perfect custy so I should not expect a dancer to be the perfect dancer in my eyes w.r.t. what she should be like and act (beyond giving me an adequate dance for my payment of a dance)

I’ve come to accept that dancers are as reliable as the weather (actually less) and just as one day there can be the worst weather and the next the most beautiful day; one day a dancer can give me crap/grief and another day/visit she can blow my PL mind – i.e. I don’t ride them off and give them multiple chances to “warm up to me” (unless her actions are too egregious but her not giving me her # is not an egregious action as least not for me).

So w/ dancers being so inconsistent/flaky (well; women in general actually but dancers worse :)) I just go w/ the flow since they can sometimes go from cold to hot unexpectedly.

I honestly don't think I've ever been turned down for a phone #. Usually they offer it. One time I had gotten a very lame BJ from a tall very attractive dancer and she insisted I take her number. I thought maybe she'd be better in the sack so set up an OTC for a very nice restaurant right next door to a hotel. We were supposed to meet at 1:00 in the afternoon and she didn't show up. I texted - no response. I called - voice mail. I left a message and about 4:00 she called with some rediculous excuse. I said no problem. See you around. I've seen her at her club 20 times and she always ask me if I want a dance and I always say, " no thanks".

Hmmm, are you sure that she realized you need her number simply for business interactions, so to speak? She might have assumed you were trying to date. Or she didn't learn about prepaid phones yet hence is afraid of getting stalked by her number. Or got scared you could be a cop looking to bust her for solicitation or something.

I would make sure that she didn't misunderstand me if I were you.

If I like our ITC relationship, rejection is no big deal to me; in fact I want to get OTC from my CF but she doesn't do that. Yet! I still like her though and will continue seeing her because she's great as she is. OTOH I dropped several dancers because all I wanted was OTC from them, and it wasn't worth it to me to spend money on them to try and change their minds.

Dancer95 has a good point, may want to follow up on that.

Years ago I made the mistake of giving my number a little freely to dancers, and it turned into a nightmare. Contant txts on Friday and Saturday night saying "come see me at work" from strippers all over the country - eh not anymore. Your dancer may think you'll be a stalker unless you explain why you want her numbers.

Another example, this very pretty dancer was always all up on me when I was in the club. All she would talk about was "when are you going to take me on a date" etc etc etc. it go so annoying because she never even hinted about extras and never offered anything when we would get dances either. finally one day I gave in and said "here let me give you my number" and she flaked. Right then and there she was telling me all these stories to make sure I would return multiple times to that club specifically to see her.

I haven't really learned to deal with that sort of rejection. It happens so seldom...

Shailynn, it's pretty easy to get a burn phone ap that will let you block numbers that you find irritating. Or you can block callers easily on any smart phone.

Good point Dancer95. At this club they post the dancer schedule online, and she told me that's how I can find out when she's working. I still asked for her number. Between you and me I definitely wanted her OTC, but I was going to ease into that. I told her I wanted her number to keep in contact with her. She probably saw right through me. She's in her early to mid 30's, she's probably seen it all and heard it all. What made it worse is that I'm a black guy, and she is a black woman, where is the black love?

If you get rejected, do you guys go back to that club and make sure she sees you spending money on other girls?

"Yeah I'll move on from her, but the point is she will never get any of my business again." more often than not bitches like that don't give a shit of they lose your business. fuck 'em-your money will be more appreciated by the others you spend your hard earned money on.

I never ask for their number, but I am usually willing to give them my Google Voice number if they ask. And they ask alot. I guess they figure what have they got to lose by lining up another possible income source.

Papi--->+ IMO dancers are there to give dances for the $$$ I’m paying them for dances – way I see it I’m not entitled to their # or them hooking up w/ me OTC; all that is beyond the basic service of a dancer and it’s up to each individual dancer if she is willing to go beyond her basic duties/services

I can't disagree with that one bit -- of course I'm not "entitled" to their number (I think use of that word is SW-speak, but I'll play along :). She could have any reason not to want to give me her number, and really it doesn't matter to me as to why, she could have good reasons or no reasons at all, it's 100% her choice. And, honestly, no hard feelings -- again, I don't think of it as "rejection", with all the emotive connotations, it's just her making whatever decision is best for her. No harm, no foul.

But! That also doesn't mean that I should completely ignore my own desires or dumb-down the experience I want to have -- and it's absolutely impossible for a stripper to meet my needs if she doesn't give me her number. So, her business model doesn't match my needs as a customer, and I move on (or, as I said, re-classify her as a drinking buddy and just roll with it).

ranukam--> "If you get rejected, do you guys go back to that club and make sure she sees you spending money on other girls?"

I guess you really are using the right word for you -- if you're even thinking about some sort of revenge visit, then "rejected" and all that bad feelings that implies definitely applies. I don't think of it as rejection, it doesn't make me feel bad, and the thought of conspicuous consumption in front of her is a non-starter. She's not going to affect my future actions one bit.

@ranukam: "If you get rejected, do you guys go back to that club and make sure she sees you spending money on other girls?"

Why bother? If she's good enough for dances, the fact that she won't give me her number doesn't change that. And if she doesn't want to fuck me in a cheap motel room, that doesn't change the fact that she lets me play with her boobs.

Ain't got time for that high school shit.

^^^Good point. Not saying I would do that though.

JS69 - thanks for the info - and you're right...

When I gave out my number freely back in the day - this was before such enhancements. Burner phone was an option but that became too tedious to carry around.

I agree with GMD. I go to strip clubs to have a good time in the club, not to collect phone numbers. If a stripper chooses to keep it in the club, that's fine. I'm not gonna take it as a personal rejection.

Besides, most strippers offer me their number before I'm even thinking about asking for it. Or else, by the time I ask, it's pretty obvious that she'll want me to have it.

Every number I've received from a stripper was offered by them. I have not had to ask.

^^^^ right and in sure ranukams is always offered them too, but it figures... The ONE strippers number he wants, he can't get - seems to always be the problem, just like I can go get 25 offers for sex in 2 strip clubs in Detroit, but the one girl I want to have sex with doesn't offer!!!

^^^Exactly

One of my current favs wouldn't give me her number when i first asked. I ignored her for over 6 months. Other dancers told her she was stupid for not giving it to me. finally she came up and sat with me and asked if i was ever going to do dances with her and i told her we had some unfinished business first. She picked up my phone and put her number in it. There is current girl that I got a few dances from and asked for her number and she said she doesn't give it out. i haven't payed any attention to her since.

My mind works kind of weird. Let's say there's 100 girls in the club and all of them are 10's. I could fuck 99 of them, but I won't be thinking of that, I'll be thinking of the lone one that wouldn't fuck me. For some reason I think every girl I'm into will be into me LMAO. It's fucking annoying at times.

Don't worry – the older you get you'll have gotten so many rejections it's 2nd-nature and you won't even notice it

:)

I agree with Papi. There's a point where you just let rejection slide off your back and you move on. There's an endless supply of beautiful women who will pretend to love you if you have some cash.

What shadow said.

It's just not something to take personally. The more custies they spend time talking and texting when they're not in the club, the less time they have for their personal lives. Some people feel like it's worth it to work overtime to make more money, others don't.

If I like what she does ITC, I won't hold it against her.

Did you ask them to pull your finger Ranukam?