Negotiating With EX-Strippers

avatar for motorhead
motorhead
Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life
Is is still okay to ask for sexual favors from an ex-favorite who hasn't danced in 3 years? She texted me and told me her electric was about to be shut off. I feel guilty about asking her for a blow job in exchange for help with her utility bill. I've been out of the civie market for so long I don't know standard protocol, though I hear college girls give blow jobs for help with Calculus.

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avatar for Meursault
Meursault
9 years ago
If asking for blowjobs is wrong, I don't wanna be right.
avatar for Subraman
Subraman
9 years ago
Of course it's okay ... my first assumption would be that that's the reason she contacted me in the first place. If she's just expecting free money, she'll tell you so. She knows your past relationship was based on quid-pro-quo (or rather, quid-pro-blow, amiright?), so there's no reason for either you or her to expect anything different
avatar for rockstar666
rockstar666
9 years ago
What? A dancer loses her prostitute privileges because she quit dancing? If she wants money from you, you should get sexual favors in exchange. Unless she really wants to date you and be an actual g/f that is.
avatar for chandler
chandler
9 years ago
It's probably okay, but I sure wouldn't pursue her if it's been 3 years since I've seen her. Three months is about the longest absence I'd still go for sight unseen.
avatar for grinddawg
grinddawg
9 years ago
TACT. A simple "That sucks. Are you in the mood for a private?" should suffice.
avatar for shailynn
shailynn
9 years ago
Her blowing someone that works for the electric company sounds more efficient to me.
avatar for Meursault
Meursault
9 years ago
^ if she's been out of circulation for three years she should blow someone at Sesame Street and work her way up to the The Electric Company.
avatar for jackslash
jackslash
9 years ago
I know calculus. I'm thinking of driving to Ann Arbor and walking around the U of M campus with a sign "Will teach for blow jobs."
avatar for warhawks
warhawks
9 years ago

Interesting.

I haven't had that situation come up... Yet.

I'll be curious how it works out for you and what technique you used. It could be another "system" like version 2.0.
avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo
9 years ago
Yeah – for some of us “career nice-guys” it's hard to be so straight-forward – but strippers *are* a different animal.

I *do* think she contacted you feeling you would give her the $$$ w/o asking for anything in return – either b/c she sees you as a nice-guy or you've helped her in the past w/o asking for anything in return.

I personally would not have issues with helping someone in need stripper or not – the issue is as I mentioned – strippers are a different animal – my concern with helping a dancer is that it can easily become habitual – if they get used to you being their go-to guy then the requests will keep coming.

I also feel that the dancer may be jerking you (not in a good way) around – most likely she has a guy/SO who is fucking her for free so it is *his* responsibility to provide for her – I think she is being a selfish bitch if she is fucking another dude for free (SO) then asking you $$$ for nothing in return.

If this is a one-time thing – then yeah – perhaps – you probably don't know all the details of what may be going on w/ her and her situation/needs – but if it becomes more habitual then you gotta put your PL foot down b/c she is using you.
avatar for lopaw
lopaw
9 years ago
Absolutely! Just the fact that she mentioned the gas being shut off opens that option. Almost takes the civvie aspect out of it. Now had she contacted you w/o the crying about money part it would have had a more civvie and less a P4P feel to it.
avatar for JamesSD
JamesSD
9 years ago
I agree with Papi.

I also agree with being direct with what you want to help her out
avatar for Corvus
Corvus
9 years ago
Motorhead's response to ex-stripper (as I see it):
"Come on over, I'm sure we can work something out to our mutual benefit. "

avatar for JohnSmith69
JohnSmith69
9 years ago
"Ask and it shall be given you."
Matthew 7:7.
avatar for gawker
gawker
9 years ago
Let me remember : f(X) = 5^5

Naw. I don't remember calculus. More than 50 years ago I earned 4 credits in differential calculus and 4 credits in integral calculus. My slide rule is broken and I have never used it so just pay the utility bill and tell her what you expect in return.
avatar for rickdugan
rickdugan
9 years ago
"I feel guilty about asking her for a blow job in exchange for help with her utility bill."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I wouldn't. By contacting you with that message at all, she was either running some type of pity hustle or she is inviting you to make a p4p offer. Either way, she made herself fair game for a p4p offer.

Unless of course you're telling us that you two chat all the time and are really good friends. Does she invite you to family events? Hang out with you just for the pleasure of it? Friend you on her personal FB account? If the answer to these questions is no, and I'm guessing that they are, then she is not your friend and doesn't really want to be. So if you are going to be a source of income for her, then get something for it.
avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo
9 years ago
If you feel a bit unsure about asking her directly – use a more indirect approach – i.e. get a square gift-box about the size of a basketball – put the $$$ inside – cut a whole on the side of the box and stick your dick in it and lay in on top of the wad of $$$ - when you see her hold the box in front of your groin and tell her “here it is” and then wait for her reaction – presto!
avatar for rh48hr
rh48hr
9 years ago
Papi - you can't make a dick in a box reference without linking to the song!

https://youtu.be/ABrSYqiqvzc
avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo
9 years ago
^ yeah - a classic for sure :)
avatar for mikeya02
mikeya02
9 years ago
Yes Motor, use your humour. Ask her if she can dust. That you have dust on your pants and you need her to blow it off.
avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo
9 years ago
Hmm? – motor is usually on here commenting in the afternoons but not a peep from him – I wonder if he met up w/ the chick and her loser BF “took care of him” and his $$$

:)
avatar for Lone_Wolf
Lone_Wolf
9 years ago
Lots of unknown variables here. I'm also timid about asking for favors in return for monetary assistance. But, when I man up and do it, I almost always get positive results. It is like they expect it and now have something they can deal with.

I have to wonder how many of the honeys think "shit, I wish the PL would hurry up, grow some balls and offer me money to fuck already".
avatar for Subraman
Subraman
9 years ago
L_W---> " I'm also timid about asking for favors in return for monetary assistance. "

I am a little confused as to understanding WHY you'd be timid in the slightest. The girl is not a naive little princess or genuinely your friend, she's a professional stripper who knows the deal ... hell, she knows the deal better than we do. She absolutely expects you will (or might) ask for a quid-pro-blow. Is it because she's manipulating you into feeling protective and paternalistic, as if she's the fair maiden who needs rescuing, and you feel you're betraying her by turning such a noble request from a vulnerable woman into mere vulgar request for sex-for-$? Hopefully you can tell by how I worded that last sentence, what I think about it.

All of that said, I definitely remember a time when I was vulnerable to such requests also, and was almost a little proud that in her time of trouble, she was coming to ME. That was literally decades ago, and I shake my head and laugh about it now. So I really do kinda get it, but suggest strongly you get over it... any paternal or protective instinct she's arousing in you, is her hustle (her tone of voice, how she frames up her current problems) working on you, or you misdirecting some truly noble instincts you have. Save such paternal, noble instincts for your daughter, or your wife, or whomever actually matters.
avatar for Lone_Wolf
Lone_Wolf
9 years ago
Subra: Sage words indeed. All dudes new to sc'ing should read it at least twice.



avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl
9 years ago
Interesting place to ask this question. Sometimes seems like most here think it's OK to do anything to a stripper that doesn't directly result in her hospitalization.

Maybe you could try to phrase it in a way that tries to avoid offense (real or fake). Perhaps by saying something like "sorry but I don't give or loan money to people who are just friends, only to women I'm in a sexual relationship with".
avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo
9 years ago
“All is fair in love and war” - she has her needs – you have yours – after reading Subra's post; why not make it a win-win situation (and still no word from moto – did the loser BF put him in the hospital after they took his $$$?)
avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl
9 years ago
In my book, it's a lot more dignified to offer a service, even a sexual service, rather than try to bum a handout. But that's not the way the culture in which we live sees things. It's the same deal as how whistling at a woman (or a man by a man) is considered disrespectful and threatening rather than a compliment. You have to live in the world that is, not the world that should be.
avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl
9 years ago
@L_W that's the thing, if a woman's up for P4P, and she knows you're not a vice cop, she's probably going to offer with out being asked.

A great way to get a shitty paid service of any kind is to get it from the type of person who thinks it a grand injustice they weren't born a trust fund baby.
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