How should I handle this?
JohnSmith69
layin low but staying high
I'm inclined to tip DS on stage a few bucks the first time I see her. Only a few bucks. I used to tip her a Benjamin on her first stage set. Then I'll ignore her unless she comes to me. If she does I might buy her a drink and get a couple dances but nothing more. No VIP, no big money of any kind. If she doesn't come by then I'll ignore her the rest of the night.
I was discussing this with Ranukam and he said that I should ignore her completely. Don't even give her a small stage tip. I get that. I would treat others that way. But this is the original DS. And without being pathetic about it, I want to leave the door open to fucking her again. It just seems like the mature thing to do for me not to be mad, just be chill, and hang with her for a short while if she comes over but not spend much.
In the interests of full disclosure, she will be worried that I'm there shopping. She hates one of the dancers that I want. And me shopping there will make her worried that others will find out about our OTC relationship which terrifies her. I don't really care what she thinks, just explaining the dynamics.
Any advice on how I should handle seeing her itc post breakup?
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If you want to fuck something, set it free. If it returns, fuck it again; if it doesn't, fuck someone else.
If it were me, I would find another club. But if you really want contact with the other dancers from the DS1's club, then I guess just do like Ranukam says.
The new girls will wonder if you are still there for the DS, and so that will be a strike against you.
This DS1 is still embedded in your divorce. Need to think about that. Again, I would find another club.
SJG
"Never chase 'em. Jut replace them."
SJG, I don't smell. And why do you always think I'm getting in trouble?
words of wisdom JS69
your going to get in trouble buddy its so not worth it
"absence makes the heart grow fonder"
Why do I always think you are getting into trouble?
Well, the newly divorced often do this. But in your case, developing a marijuana habit, some situation with a young woman who may have been underage, and then she said, "Rape". Should I go on? You don't see it, and this is where the problem lies.
Divorce is a big deal because it means having to publicly face the failure of what one believed in and invested in. While I commend you for recognizing that it was necessary and proceeding, I know that the level of pain is much higher than what you are currently facing up to.
So I'm just saying, be careful.
SJG
Shinedown
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H25ORRgL…
Tipping her or getting "just dances" isn't a good idea, in my opinion.
Nothing good can come from that for you, I'm afraid.
Remember the mind of a stripper... We are just big ATMs to them.
If you start giving her, say a $5 tip on stage when you used to give her $100, or just get a $20 dance when you used to spend $300 in VIP for example, she is going to be put off. She sees a dip in her income from you. She'll give you an additude and will tell all the other dancers to avoid you like the plague. I don't see how this ends well for you at that particular club.
Like someone else said, I'd try a different club for a while.
Meur, good try. The answer is still no.
I can understand wanting to avoid VIP but you actually think of DS as a friend, why wouldn't you acknowledge and interact with her? It's not like you went through a bitter divorce.
Maybe you're not looking for a friend or there's too much past history, but it might be good for both of you.
With some time passing, there could still be something between you and she, possibly.
But it sounds like you travel lots. Also, when you first posted about her, it sounded she was at the farthest extreme of your usual range. So you must be familiar with lots of clubs and lots of girls closer to home. So just go find another one you like. You walk into a club, odds are high you will be completely disarmed by some new MHP ( my term for the experience of first time seeing some new Must Have Pussy ).
I'm also just saying that you need to step back some and, while feeling your feelings, don't let them drive you into unnecessary drama. A few years down the road and things will not look as they do now.
SJG
Santana 2015
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6GzUFbWX…
LW, yeah right.
Sorry, man. That club is her sandbox and her rules. I just don't see any good coming in you trying to play with the other kids there, not right now.
And as much as GMD's advice would be good when you're dealing with a rational adult in the real world, just remember who you're actually dealing with -- a kid living in Stripper World.
As far as tipping goes, I'd follow your normal procedure as you would with anyone else. If you're the type that tips girls on stage that you aren't trying to get dances from or take OTC, why not tip her? If your agenda when tipping is to arrange things she doesn't want to do, then why waste time tipping her?
ON THE OTHER HAND: if the above is not the case... there's a stripper at my fave club who I hung out with for a while, and then one day I started hanging out with one of her friends instead. After that, when I saw her, instead of ignoring me or shooting me looks, she wash smiles and hugs and "how are you?" before moving on; sometimes, if she saw I was alone, she'd come by and hang out for a bit, and she would even come hang out for 5 minutes even if I was with her friend. She was friendly and amazing. I admired the fuck out of her for being so gracious about the whole thing, understanding that customers move on but still acknowledging I'm a person who she's spent time with. And because of that, she was always in the running, and I did return to her occasionally. Anyway, I think it's a pretty awesome way to play -- smiles and hugs, no hard feelings, and move on. I would NOT do dances with her, period, but buy her a drink or throw her a few bucks on stage, say hi, then MOVE ON after a few minutes? Best way to play it
If you have the chance, reassuring her your OTC activities are top secret would probably be a nice move.
And chase any stripper you want. That's what you go there for. Sac up and work your system on the new redhead.
okay, all kidding aside, but Dougster is 100% correct. this is the time when perhaps fairly normal men really earn the "PATHETIC" in PL.
look dude, she is a 19 y/o stripper/hooker or whatever you want to call her but she was never going to be yours. she did NOT have a special thing for you. it was a business arrangement and now it is over. DON'T get all creepy.
and don't take this personally because there are thousands of guys just like you every year who get all delusional and stalkerish. don't become one of them
forget about her. she was never what you pretended she was. there is no need to argue or disagree with me because i am right and anyone who knows anything knows that i am. move the fuck on
One danced a few years more, but never made much money, and eventually quit. The other left soon after she lost most her regulars.
If anyone is going to (or should) feel awkward, it is her.
Here is my advise -- get out of your own fucking head!!! Be yourself and just be happy. In a polite, friendly, warm way, if you happen to have any interaction, stick with your game plan. By now, she knows what you want, what you like and what you are willing to give to receive it. That is either good enough for her or it isn't -- her choice. Prepare/expect to amicably move on and do not overthink it.
Don't worry. Be happy!!
I think that her major issue was that she was, let's face it, prostituting herself and she just got less and less comfortable with it. When she was financially able to stop, she did. I do think that she still has a lot of regard for you because didn't treat her like a simple whore. I'm sure her pregnancy also had an impact on her psyche.
I definitely wouldn't invest any more serious money in her, so no private dances, which would just leave you frustrated anyway.
No one else on this site talks about dream strippers or a stripper that meets their every expectations. Sometimes females attempt to break things off and find out they are emotionally attached as well and end up coming right back. I enjoy reading your stories whether true or not. I put the odds of being true now as high as 70%. She dumped you so it sounds more believable. If I was a young female meeting up a much older guy for money and he seemed to be getting too attached, I would understand dumping him if she had alternative money sources to make up for the loss of income. I could imagine her rationalizing her decision by saying she makes more money in the club as well. Now I would just recommend a rotating schedule of dream strippers much like different favorites. If one flakes out, you switch. I have 4 sisters and if they dated one guy longer than 3 or 4 months, I wondered if they were going to get married.
Most situations are about “context” - in my PL opinion if you are tipping her and getting dances from her in an attempt to get her to change her mind – that is not good IMO – but if you are doing to let her (and yourself) know there are no hard-feelings and you don't want to completely close the door – then interacting w/ her w/ no expectations may be the way to go.
Strip clubs are bizarro world; the opposite of the real world (up is down, right is left).
In the “real world” more often than not the men chase the women and the women do the choosing – and in the real world women are often the ones that get attached and men do the running/dumping.
In strip-club bizarro world; the women chase the men (dancers approach custies and try to convince them to be with them) – and in strip-club bizarro world custies seem to get attached to women they are paying (where the women/dancers don't for the most part) – SC world is not reality – it's bizarro world.