What's your most pathetic strip clubbing moment?

JohnSmith69
layin low but staying high
We all started out as newbies, and I'm willing to bet that most if not all of us who have touched a woman before ( sorry to exclude you SJG) have some particularly pathetic moments from our early strip club days. Well we might prefer to keep those moments quiet, but I think it's important to remember them for posterity if nothing else. They also might serve as a warning to any new clubbing enthusiasts who may be lurking behind the scenes here.

So my question is what was your most pathetic moment from your early strip clubbing days. Here's mine.

Roughly 20 years ago, my first club was spearmint rhino in Las Vegas. I had an LDK one minute into my first dance. From that rather pathetic start (sorry king), things went downhill further. My next trip was to New York city, which I naïvely assumed should have a great strip clubs. Somehow I ended up at the Penthouse club. This place wasn't horrible. They had a very good steakhouse, and some attractive women. But as I now know, New York strip clubs have very limited mileage and insane prices. I was about to find out on my first visit how Insane those prices could be.

The place had $20 topless air dances at your table. Not knowing any better, and seeing a room full of topless women at my disposal for only the second time in my life, I went a little insane. To say that the little head was in charge would be a gross understatement. It was more like he staged a complete coup to take over my entire mind and body. I spent several hundred dollars on air dances, and kept hearing about the the VIP. I had no idea what went on in there, but the dancers clearly suggested that there was sex to be had. So that was what I was going to have.

I picked out a really cute one to take to my first VIP. Unfortunately, I chose a complete rip off bitch. She misled me into thinking that there would be a blowjob in there, but when we got there it was nothing more than some light contact. I asked for my blowjob, but she kept making excuses. A couple of times she just excused herself and left for several minutes at a time. I had the distinct feeling that this wasn't right because I was paying for her time, but I was clueless as to what I should do about it.

So I kept asking for my blowjob, and she asked me how much more money do I have. I give her more money, she kind of lightly kisses through my pants and comes back up for more money in order to go further. To make a long ugly story a little shorter, I spent over $1K that night and did not even get the LDK that I got from one dance in Vegas. The only thing I did right was to bring cash and not use plastic. I left without a single penny in my pocket.

I was pissed, with the most severe case of blue balls I've ever had, but I had no clue what to do about it. I knew that I wanted to keep strip clubbing, but I found out that I had a lot to learn.

If you've read any of my stories, you know that I have come about a billion light years from there in terms of getting mileage and extras from strippers. But I had an incredibly pathetic start that night.

So if you're a newbie and are struggling, don't despair. You're in the right place, and it will get better than you can possibly imagine if you stick with it.

OK, that's my story. What yours?

29 comments

Latest

warhawks
9 years ago

I actually had two pretty pathetic instances.

The first one was when I first got back into the club scene. I was at Penthouse in Detroit and got talked into doing a "double".
Had never had two girls at one time before.
I ended up paying them $500 each. So, $1,000 inside the club for sex is an insane price for Detroit clubs.

2nd, The day my divorce was final, I hit the clubs... HARD.
Ended up taking two girls from Players that I had probably spent $400 to $500 each on ITC to a casino hotel ($300 room). And had a large bar ($300+) tab. And spent another $800 OTC that night for room action. Spending over $2,000 that night for the festivities.
Ugh. Just thinking about it now brings back buyers remorse.... Big time...
impala
9 years ago
Not me but someone else. A few years ago I was out with a couple of Canadians at a strip club. This was back when the the U.S. dollar was worth way more than the Canadian dollar. This one Canadian was throwing money around like crazy and kept going back for lap dances. The next day we were talking about it and all of the sudden he stopped talking and got this weird look on his face then said "Holy F#£%, that was $20 US, that's like $50 Canadian (seems he screwed up the exchange rate and thought he was getting $5 lap dances). Now I know the exchange rate was never that drastic a difference but we figured he blew an easy couple grand for pretty much nothing.
shadowcat
9 years ago
I cooked a candle light dinner for my original ATF in my motel room and she no showed for it. Thus ending our 2 year relationship.
georgebailey
9 years ago
Good one, shadow. Did you find a new one?
rh48hr
9 years ago
When I was in college, I went to a club with friends that had complete air dances. The dancers brought a small raised stand in front of you and danced naked in front of you but no touching. I remember we were just happy to see a naked chick. I didn't spend a lot of money but just thinking back on that experience if there were any places like that today we all would just turn around and walk out.
I also had a LDK or two before I learned I could get satisfied in other fun ways itc.
screamineagle10
9 years ago
20 years ago i went to biketoberfest in daytona with the guys for the first time.After being married and working my ass off this was a big deal for me and it didnt take long to discover the shark lounge.I hit it off right away with this crazy stripper and had what i thought was a great time in the lap dance room but looking back on it now i realize it was mostly air dances.I took her out on the bike to other clubs then dropped her off around 3:00 am. At 6:30 am there was a knock on the door,my friend answered it and says its for me,and there she is asking me for $50.00 to bail her friend out of jail.i fumble for my wallet ignoring the hysterical laughing of my freind and all i have is a hundred---damn---so i give it to her with the promise she will give it back to me tonite.She thanks me profusly as she's walking out the door then asks me for $5.00 for cigarettes.At least i kept maybe a shred of my dignity by refusing that request and of course you all know that money was never to be seen again. But the story still gets told to this day,still good for a laugh and looking back it was all part of a great experience.
impala
9 years ago
O.K., I will tell. When I was new at this I didn't really know what went on or how to negotiate. Was 17 (fake ID's and crossed state line) and a bunch of us had been to this little topless bar a couple of times when one of the dancers asked me if I wanted to have some "extra" fun. Not really knowing what to expect I said sure, next thing I know I'm in a back room with my pants down off and she wants to know how much cash I had on me. I told her (I think it was something like $40 or something, remember this was like 25 years ago), she told me to give it to her and I whould have a night I would never forgot, so I did. After I gave her the cash she took my pants and left the room. After realizing what just happened I tried to sneak out and there were my buddies, with my pants. She was right, I never forgot that night!
JamesSD
9 years ago
Luckily I'm tight with my cash.

I used to spend way too much chatting with dancers I wasn't going to buy dances from.
magicrat
9 years ago
Sitting in the parking lot waiting for my new stripper friend to show to go back to my room with me.
impala
9 years ago
Magicrat, same here, waiting in a hotel room for some OTC, having her never show.
shailynn
9 years ago
In college my friend who couldn't get pussy to save his life took me to a strip club where I met a hot dancer the same age as me (21). It was either my first time ever or second time in a strip club. We both performed oral sex on each other and we both were drunk. Fast forward 2 weeks later and my girlfriend at the time couldn't have sex because it was a bad time of the month. I blew her off on a Saturday night and raced out to the club thinking I could get sex from the stripper I met two weeks prior. I rushed in and spent $150 or $200 for the hot tub VIP room. This time she was sober, and this time she just sat on my lap and made out with me. After that I immediately left when done vowing never to step foot in there again. Pissed off and riding home, I ignored the little township where the speed dropped from 55 down to 40, and got a speeding ticket. Luckily I hadn't had a drink all night, but the cops still gave me a ticket that was $87. I was horrified my name would be in the paper for speeding, and when it would mention what road, everyone would know I was at the strip club. Luckily my name never showed up in the paper, the one good thing to happen that night.

It was probably a good 3 years before I entered a strip club again after that night.
shadowcat
9 years ago
All of these stories remind me of the scene in Porky's where the boys from Angle Beach get "A night to remember".
georgmicrodong
9 years ago
Oh, gods....
impala
9 years ago
Shadow, found out later my buddies had put her up to it. They knew how niave I was. Oh, by the way, never got the $40 bucks back.
nj_pete
9 years ago
Yea, similar experience, shelling out too much $ for no action, at the Can-can room ( I think it was called) in Pennsawken NJ
metaldude
9 years ago
Don't remember the details, but early on I certainly was susceptible to the "trust me it will be great" line only to find out that without getting some specifics I could only bat .500 or less in even meeting my expectations let alone having be "great".
MrDeuce
9 years ago
My most pathetic SC moment was probably Friday before last at PT's in Brooklyn, IL (see my review) -- after 21 years of clubbing and thousands of lap dances!
JohnSmith69
9 years ago
Impala, great story. Thanks for sharing. You get the most pathetic award so far.
ATACdawg
9 years ago
I got nuthin on any of these storied.....

But then, I've never looked for that kind of action.
jackslash
9 years ago
I don't need to go back to my early years. I'll just copy what I posted last October:


Great Moments in PL History

October 30, 2014 • I had a great moment in PL history this morning. A stripper called me because her boyfriend need gas to go to work and neither of them had any money. She asked me to meet the boyfriend at a certain gas station at 11AM. She indicated she would repay me with interest (so to speak).

I got the to gas station a couple minutes before 11. No boyfriend. I waited 10 minutes and then called the stripper. It went to voice mail. I waited another 5 minutes, called the stripper again, and got voice mail again. I left a message saying he could get his own damn gas.

I've been stood up by strippers lots of times, but this is the first time I was stood up by a stripper's boyfriend.
IHearVoices
9 years ago
My most pathetic moment is tame in comparison, but that might make it even more pathetic.

First time I ever "really" went to a SC (as in 'went on my own accord, rather than being dragged by others') I got what are still the two best LDs I've ever had. Paid her the 50 and then asked for a kiss on the lips. She said no. I offered to pay her. She still said no. Somehow she got me to pay $10 for a kiss on the cheek...which I've come to realize is pretty much standard and expected behavior.

More than anything, I consider it pathetic because I was momentarily warped into that fantasy nonsense the chicks at SW. One and only time I completely lost control at a SC...if I made that mistake last weekend, it could have cost me four figures. Thankfully I make - and learn from - mistakes when I'm broke.
seaboardrr
9 years ago
I guess we haven't had it too bad. once we paid $50 for a single dance and the stripper had mrs sea sit on my lap. She played around with mrs sea but never touched me nor I her the whole time. All I saw the whole dance was the back of mrs sea's head. 3 minutes and $50 later I stood up and said WTF was that? We see her every time we go to that club and I still hold a grudge.

Another night we ended up dropping about $660 in a club over the course of 8 hours or so. Mrs sea did end up having her first "experience" and we had fun but looking back we're both like "we spent that much for THAT??"

We're a lot choosier and more up front now.
Bavarian
9 years ago
Here's mine, which happened last week. It's stupid and pathetic.

I go in with $200 in my wallet to spend on my CF. After two dances, I ask if she is going to remove one of her two panties as it's customary. She says no because her inner panty moves around too much. I should have stopped the dances there, but I did not want to be an ass about it. So I get my $200 worth of dances with two pairs of panties on. Afterwards, she says, I can dance with one pair if you get another 10 dances. I don't bite, so she drops to 5 dances. I agree and she runs off to do her stage set. I go to the club ATM and withdraw another $200 just in case I'm in for a treat of finally seeing her pussy.

I grab her as soon as she gets off her last stage. We go to the dance area and she quickly strips to one panty. She starts dancing and I recognize the thong as nothing special. It's the same one she has danced in many times before! It hardly moves around. I spent another $200 and not even a hint of pussy. Oh well, she played me. Beautiful women have a way of making men stupid. I still like her though :-)
lopaw
9 years ago
I'm lucky that I have never had any exceptionally embarrassing SC moments like some of you guys have (some are your stories are hilarious, btw). I've been chased by an angry latina, gotten 2 black eyes from a drunken stripper, had countless girls get their periods while dancing for me (I blame synchronicity), been nominated to go tell a stripper on stage that her tampon string was sticking out, but I have never been promised action that wasn't delivered, nor stood up for an OTC arrangement. I did have an exceptionally shitty "dance" just last week with a wanna-be porn star who: wouldn't let up on her push for VIP, then gave me 3 air dances, mis-counted the number of songs and over charged, and kept grabbing my phone thinking that I was taking pictures of her. I was lame for even continuing on with her madness and not kicking her ass to the curb after the first horrible dance. Total rookie shit on my part. I should know way better than that. No excuses.
bubba267
9 years ago
Can't top these stories, but will add mine anyways.....

I was tucked back in the corner near the cigarette machine at the old Crazy Horse Saloon south of Atlanta. Probably around 23-24 yrs old and new to strip clubs. The old location Cheetah was the only other place I'd been.

A beautiful girl began to "table dance" in front of me. Back then there was no grinding, just an occasional brush. At some point around 3 dance in I thought she asked me to pull my dick out. She faces away and continues to dance. You should have seen her face when she turned around and realized I was sitting there like a dumbass with my dick out! Obviously that isn't what she had asked me to do. I put it away and slinked out of the club. Didn't return for 4 months.
Eric_Murphy
9 years ago
Late to the party but here's mine.
Went to a club one night with a couple coworkers. We all get dances from different dancers and I seem to really be hitting it off with mine, who's from out of town. We're chatting during her dance and she seems to be getting into it more than is to be expected. End up in the back for 8 songs as I just couldn't say no but she only charged me for 6. If she hadn't had to eventually go on stage I would have kept going due to the vibe I was getting from her. When I get back to the table the guys I'm with want to leave but I'm too smitten so tell them to go ahead and I'll see them in the morning. She heads straight for me after her show and we talk for a bit before it's last call for dances. We head to the back again and after more songs I'm the last custie in the place and it's 2:30 in the morning.
Here's where the pathetic part begins......
During our second set of dances she told me her real name, the name of the motel all the out of town dancers were staying at, as well as her room number and implied that I should come over. So what do I do?
Upon leaving the bar I look for a cab but there's nothing at this point so I walk the 20 or so blocks to her motel, find her room and knock. No answer. "OK" I figure, she's not here yet so walk around the block a couple times and then knock again. Still no answer. At this point it's around 3:30 so I should just cut my losses right? NOOOOO........
I hang around waiting and knock every few minutes (did I mention how much I'd had to drink that night?).
Finally around 4:15 the night guy comes out and says she's obviously not here and I should leave. I ask him if I could leave her a note (WTF?!) so he let me come into the office and gives me a pen and paper. I then proceed to walk 45 minutes back to my hotel and get an hour an a half sleep before having to sit through corporate meetings all day.
georgmicrodong
9 years ago
I trust no one really needs me to relate those stories again...
JohnSmith69
9 years ago
Thanks. Great stories but I vote Eric's as the most pathetic
PhantomGeek
9 years ago
Every time I walk into a strip club.
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