What's your most pathetic strip clubbing moment?

We all started out as newbies, and I'm willing to bet that most if not all of us who have touched a woman before ( sorry to exclude you SJG) have some particularly pathetic moments from our early strip club days. Well we might prefer to keep those moments quiet, but I think it's important to remember them for posterity if nothing else. They also might serve as a warning to any new clubbing enthusiasts who may be lurking behind the scenes here.

So my question is what was your most pathetic moment from your early strip clubbing days. Here's mine.

Roughly 20 years ago, my first club was spearmint rhino in Las Vegas. I had an LDK one minute into my first dance. From that rather pathetic start (sorry king), things went downhill further. My next trip was to New York city, which I naïvely assumed should have a great strip clubs. Somehow I ended up at the Penthouse club. This place wasn't horrible. They had a very good steakhouse, and some attractive women. But as I now know, New York strip clubs have very limited mileage and insane prices. I was about to find out on my first visit how Insane those prices could be.

The place had $20 topless air dances at your table. Not knowing any better, and seeing a room full of topless women at my disposal for only the second time in my life, I went a little insane. To say that the little head was in charge would be a gross understatement. It was more like he staged a complete coup to take over my entire mind and body. I spent several hundred dollars on air dances, and kept hearing about the the VIP. I had no idea what went on in there, but the dancers clearly suggested that there was sex to be had. So that was what I was going to have.

I picked out a really cute one to take to my first VIP. Unfortunately, I chose a complete rip off bitch. She misled me into thinking that there would be a blowjob in there, but when we got there it was nothing more than some light contact. I asked for my blowjob, but she kept making excuses. A couple of times she just excused herself and left for several minutes at a time. I had the distinct feeling that this wasn't right because I was paying for her time, but I was clueless as to what I should do about it.

So I kept asking for my blowjob, and she asked me how much more money do I have. I give her more money, she kind of lightly kisses through my pants and comes back up for more money in order to go further. To make a long ugly story a little shorter, I spent over $1K that night and did not even get the LDK that I got from one dance in Vegas. The only thing I did right was to bring cash and not use plastic. I left without a single penny in my pocket.

I was pissed, with the most severe case of blue balls I've ever had, but I had no clue what to do about it. I knew that I wanted to keep strip clubbing, but I found out that I had a lot to learn.

If you've read any of my stories, you know that I have come about a billion light years from there in terms of getting mileage and extras from strippers. But I had an incredibly pathetic start that night.

So if you're a newbie and are struggling, don't despair. You're in the right place, and it will get better than you can possibly imagine if you stick with it.

OK, that's my story. What yours?