Getting Hustled?

avatar for saer
saer
From what I can tell, my ATF is a pretty good hustler. She has a number of guys that take her shopping, give her expensive gifts, do favors for her, and pay her to go out with them (apparently without sex). It takes her about 0.5 seconds to talk people into lap dances, and she gets so many drinks bought for her she can’t drink them all. I asked her once why people do that and she told me she actively tries to make men fall in love with her because then they’ll do whatever she wants. That, and she knows how to talk dirty.

I go to the club about once a week, and when I’m there I buy her drinks too - usually 4-8 over the course of several hours (they’re cheap and she makes a couple bucks off of each one). I also buy every other dancer there drinks, if they choose to sit with me for a while. Otherwise, I very, very rarely get dances or VIP from her (only three times in over a year), and I never tip her for anything. I’ve made it clear under no uncertain terms that I won’t be buying her things or giving her money for nothing (although I did buy her a somewhat expensive belated birthday present). She just hangs out and drinks with me in between doing dances for other customers, sitting with her other regulars, doing VIP rooms, etc.

I’m reasonably comfortable thinking of her as a friend - we talk about very personal things and I see her outside the club (for free) every few weeks. She texts me to come in every time she works, and she won’t leave before me. If her shift ends before I’m gone, she’ll get dressed and hang out with me until I leave (which is sometimes several hours). She insists on cuddling and holding hands while she sits with me, and she lets me touch her anywhere. By the time I got my first (and only) lap dance with her, I had already gotten to “third base” more times than I could remember. Also, apparently one of the waitresses and some of the other customers think we’re dating.

That was fine until a couple of months ago when she got drunk and out of the blue told me she loves me. I said “haha yeah I like you too”. Then she said “No, I mean it - I love you. Maybe you think that’s bullshit but it’s not”.

I’ve had strippers tell me they love me before, but it has always been obvious they meant it in a joking or friendly way. This one threw me for a loop. I don’t know what to think. On the one hand, I feel like she might be trying to hustle me. On the other hand, I can’t imagine why she’d put up with the kind of interaction we have for so long for such little return.

I care about her quite a bit, but her job is to get men to give her money, so I acknowledge I’m in RIL territory. Am I being played?

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avatar for jackslash
jackslash
10 years ago
She's a stripper and so she's crazy. Who knows what she really thinks?
avatar for gawker
gawker
10 years ago
You may or may not be being played, but look at things dispationately. Lots of men buy her lots of things. She obviously sees them OTC. Not too many customers buy things for strippers without something in return. So she may or may not be a hooker on the side. Now, in an altered state she says she loves you. Why? Cuz your a good looking guy who spends a little money on her? Or are you a safe landing spot for an attractive woman who lacks self confidence? Lots & lots of questions. Rather than ask us, maybe you'd be better having this conversation with her?
avatar for JohnSmith69
JohnSmith69
10 years ago
The DS has told me several that I'm amazing. Each time was after a particularly intense orgasm, but that's probably just a coincidence. She's still not my girlfriend though.

By the way she's very likely fucking the guys she sees OTC. Just thought you should know before you accept an imaginary stripper girlfriend.
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
10 years ago
Sounds to me like she is hanging with you just for the drinks. A lot of guys won't buy dancers drinks period. I do occasionally if I know she is going to give me good dances or that I am going to take her to VIP for more.
avatar for saer
saer
10 years ago
I'm sorry - what does DS stand for? I don't see it in the Glossary.

My reasoning for thinking she doesn't have sex with people she goes OTC with is that she brags about how she gets people to give her things without having to have sex with them. She's told me "eventually they realize they're not going to get sex from me and they get mad and stop coming around, but oh well there's always another one".

It's worth nothing that this is the Midwest, in a town where P2P is difficult to find, even with escorts.

But, yeah, I wouldn't rule it out.
avatar for saer
saer
10 years ago
Oops, I meant P4P.
avatar for sharkhunter
sharkhunter
10 years ago
yep, you're getting hustled. She only wants your body. She might be horny.
avatar for rogertex
rogertex
10 years ago
You are in her "boyfriend" zone and not "customer" zone.
In fact getting dances from her will move you into customer zone and passion will be gone.
she's probably already checked with other dancers about you. That "this dude doesn't get dances from anyone - in fact only comes to the club for you".
I too would believe her - largely her OTC trips are sex free - exceptions notwithstanding. Which don't count anyways.
If you like her, physically I mean, go for it.

Remember dancers are adventurous people - they like something - go full intensity - and then interest wears off - and look for next adventure. So keep that in mind - and keep up, change your game - if you want to keep her intensity for you high.

Or, enjoy good supper and sex for a few months - and if you are like rest of us red blooded TUSCLers - you'd yourself be looking for the next bubble-butt diva.
avatar for GACA
GACA
10 years ago
Me thinks I can smell the shit through my screen.

But anyway one thing that a universal truth, if you have to ask if you're being played then you most likely are...
avatar for PhantomGeek
PhantomGeek
10 years ago
One thing you might want to do is ask her for her definition of "sex." If it's hand-holding and innocent pecks on the cheek, it isn't sex. If it involves parties licking each other up and down, guys inserting fingers into private orifices, and women giving guys handjobs or blowjobs, it is sex -- despite what some people, including your stripper friend, might think.

It also sounds like she considers you "safe." Sorry, man, but even if you've gotten to third base with her, you might've been friend-zoned by a stripper.
avatar for tumblingdice
tumblingdice
10 years ago
LOL,good luck Gilligan.
avatar for JohnSmith69
JohnSmith69
10 years ago
DS means dream stripper. It's a long story, but the glossary is never updated.

https://www.tuscl.net/postread.php?PID=3…
avatar for motorhead
motorhead
10 years ago
TD for the win
avatar for ATACdawg
ATACdawg
10 years ago
Could it be that she just sees you as a challenge?
avatar for sclvr5005
sclvr5005
10 years ago
Yeah your getting played. Wise up and realize that these strippers want just one thing- YOUR MONEY.
avatar for rickdugan
rickdugan
10 years ago
If you want to know for certain, stop your weekly club visits and simply try to date her. If she continues to see you for free outside the club without getting paid ITC and without trying to coax you back to the club, then maybe she's being honest. Otherwise, it's just a long con.

Oh, and if you aren't willing to stop your visits for fear of how she might react, then you really already know the answer.
avatar for Estafador
Estafador
10 years ago
She's trying to work you to being a sucker. You're playing hard to get. Don't succumb to her mind games because from what see their slowly working. She probably doesn't mind taking it slow with you because your a reasonable nice guy
avatar for Lone_Wolf
Lone_Wolf
10 years ago
OP: This smells fishy to me too. My question would be - why don't you give her any money. She's your ATF, right? She spends a lot of intimate time with you in the club, yet you seem proud you rarely give her money. Makes no sense. I'm not sure she's the one doing the hustling here.
avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo
10 years ago
dugan+1
avatar for warhawks
warhawks
10 years ago

You're being played.

Sorry. Just the unbiased facts...
avatar for crazyjoe
crazyjoe
10 years ago
I hussle to McD to shit sometimes
avatar for crazyjoe
crazyjoe
10 years ago
It is awesome
avatar for rockstar666
rockstar666
10 years ago
I'm in the 'friends zone' with my ATF too and it's a comfortable place to be for me. I don't have to deal with her Stripper Shit, and I get to hang with a goddess. She's only playing you if you give her money for unrealistic expectations, whatever they may be.
avatar for crazyjoe
crazyjoe
10 years ago
Does that mean I'm hussling McD
avatar for georgmicrodong
georgmicrodong
10 years ago
@rockstar: Gor that same deal going with a couple right now. No sex, not even much groping, but we sit and talk when they're not hustling.
avatar for Subraman
Subraman
10 years ago
As long as you're getting the experience that you want, who cares whether she thinks she's hustling you or not? The only danger sign is her saying she loves you -- if that makes you fall in love too, you are doomed unless you know for sure. And the exact one way to know for sure is: stop seeing her at the club. If you are falling for her the tiniest bit -- and you need to be honest with yourself about that -- then you need to stop seeing her at the club. BTW, I don't know how many strippers have told me "I love you", but it's a good amount, at least 6 in the past 5 years. They say it easily and often. I all those cases, exactly one actually really liked me (we ended up dating); I took all the rest as they came ... from drunken confused strippers who were trying to keep their regular interested.

Keep in mind, it doesn't even have to be hustle. These girls are often emotional wrecks. I became good friends with a stripper I met at a club, even though I was never her customer (long story). When she retired from stripping, she removed everyone from her life who she met in the stripper world, except 3-4 really good customer who she really liked, and who she wanted to stay friends with. Well, I remember the day she jettisoned those 3-4 guys also, "You know, I really thought I liked those guys, but I was confusing my gratitude and appreciation for their financial support, and emotional support, for real feelings of affection. Now that I don't need their money or emotional support, I figured out I don't like them that much anymore". Just the way some strip club customers confuse lust for love, some strippers confuse appreciation for actual affection.
avatar for saer
saer
10 years ago
I want to say thanks to everyone for your comments. A lot of them are mutually exclusive, but I appreciate them nonetheless.

I think a lot of you are right - in order to be sure, I have to quit going to the club. Fortunately, she's not the only reason I go and I have fun while I'm there so perhaps it isn't super important to me that I know how she feels for real.

Insofar as the Friend Zone goes, when I was younger I was God Emperor of the Friend Zone. After a few long and painful experiences, I wizened up and I don't do that any more. My ATF and I are both in relationships (so the sex issue is complicated for both of us), but when I met her I told her I want to fuck her brains out and I remind her periodically under no uncertain terms, the last of which was only a couple of days ago. I *think* that keeps me out of the Friend Zone.

Shortly after that, I was sitting with my second favorite, and my ATF came over. I told her "get in there and give it to her". A few moments later, I was working her G-spot and kissing/biting her all over while she made out with another dancer, on the main floor, in my lap, for free. Is that a Friend Zone thing?
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