Should I Live With Her?

avatar for alabegonz
alabegonz
For those who live with their CFs or ATFs, I have a question for you.

A little bit background, I met an awesome looking dancer early this year and we got it going really fast. She's my CF now.

Lately, she's having problems. Like her present place where she calls house is not working out for her, reason being is her housemate is turning against her.

So, she goes to me and laments about her situation which I thought was just SS. Well, it is turning out to be a real problem for her.

She really needs a new place and she is seeing me as the one who she can live with.

This is a problem for me because I really am not ready for this kind relationship. However, the thought of letting it slip by and make her move to another place could change the status quo and leave me somewhere where I don't want to be in.

What should I do? Ask her to move in? Or help her find her place?

30 comments

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avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl
10 years ago
Presumably you don't trust her or you wouldn't be asking. If you own the place where you live, too risky. The only low-risk way to work it is to help her get a place in her name. You can move in with her when your lease expires.
avatar for SuperDude
SuperDude
10 years ago
She moves in with you and all of her problems are now yours to solve. You can bet she has problems you have not yet heard about. They will all require money from you to be solved.
avatar for jerikson40
jerikson40
10 years ago
Absolutely, have her move in.

As you said, she's hot, so that's really what's important. And she would really love you and respect you for doing that. I don't see a downside.

Heck, maybe that gesture would even be the tipping point for her falling madly in love with you, and you could be a couple...forever. She'd probably get a second job to pay you back for all you've done, so you'd at least break even or come out ahead. She'd also drop her present boyfriends and her drug habit and clean up her life just for you.

You've struck gold dude !!! Congratulations.
avatar for jabthehut
jabthehut
10 years ago
What jerkison said!
avatar for steve229
steve229
10 years ago
"Ask her to move in"?

What does your Mom say? Is the basement big enough?
avatar for SlickSpic
SlickSpic
10 years ago
Before you think about this decision, jerk off. After you bust a nut, then think about this decision. I bet that you'll look at it differently.
avatar for jerikson40
jerikson40
10 years ago
"Before you think about this decision, jerk off. After you bust a nut, then think about this decision. I bet that you'll look at it differently."

The award for the best, most brilliantly concise answer to any post in the month of August goes to Mr. SlickSpic. Congratulations !!!!
avatar for zipman68
zipman68
10 years ago
^^^
I don't know about that jerikson40 dude.

Slick's advice is good overall life advice, and I encourage alabegonz to follow it, but I think steve229 asked an important question relevant to this specific situation.
avatar for skibum609
skibum609
10 years ago
Instead of having her move in or helping her find a place which I take to mean paying for anyway I would ask myself whether I want to win at the game of life or lose. If its win lose her number, take a year off from the club and be thankful you almost fucked up instead of fucking up.
avatar for rockstar666
rockstar666
10 years ago
I would discourage you from having her move in. It's hard enough living with a normal girl once sex with her is taken for granted, and dancers are not normal. But there are always exceptions, so I'll put it this way: if you were never going to have sex with her, would you still want to date her because she's so much fun to be with? If the answer is 'yes' then ask if she feels the same about you. Are you HER type? Outside of having money that is.
avatar for impala
impala
10 years ago
Most dancers have so much baggage included that you don't want to bring it home. Most of us go to the strip clubs for the fantasy of having a beautiful woman pay attention to us so that we can forget our problems, but if she is living with you her problems become yours. I lived with a dancer once, and it was great at first, but quickly I realized that between the late nights, jealous wanna be boyfriends, crazy (and not in a good way) friends and coworkers, your friends always trying to get a BJ from her once they find out where she worked, instability and drama, it wasn't worth It. Also, if you think it will get better for her once she is living with you or that she will chance once she sees your life you are safely mistaken.
avatar for JohnSmith69
JohnSmith69
10 years ago
If I followed Slick's advice in all decision making involving strippers, I would save a ton of money and avoid much trouble. But none of us are going to follow that advice.
avatar for BigTuna1
BigTuna1
10 years ago
I don't know guys...i actually did move into my ATF place for 3 years and had sex every single night and morning s..it was heaven...i mean dancers are people 2 you know...i personally think the guy is lucky and should try it...but i do agree on keeping her name only on shit and never ever us your name on anything..that's what i did and i was safe to walk when the time came
avatar for joewebber
joewebber
10 years ago
a dancer boyfriend is different than a dancer's one night stands.
if you and she plan on her becoming your SO with this arrangement, there are a lot of things you will learn about dancers. some not so pretty. it would be nice if Jerikson40 was right. do what slickspic suggests first.
avatar for Clackport
Clackport
10 years ago
It's all about the trust you have with her. People say strippers are crazy, but really that can apply to women in general. I've lived with a stripper, and it wasn't all that bad. Whatever your gut feeling is telling you, go with it.
avatar for BigTuna1
BigTuna1
10 years ago
Yes ^
avatar for sharkhunter
sharkhunter
10 years ago
Jerkison was being sarcastic. I found out to my surprise some on this site seem to not understand sarcasm at all. Of course I can imagine him responding by saying he was serious. lol.

If you are serious, write down pros and cons.
Would you be friends with her without sex? What if she suddenly said she can't have sex with you anymore after she moves in because her bf would be upset? What if she and other guys come over to have paid sex at your place? you going to do something about it? Can you evict her if she refuses to leave? Can you charge her rent for not putting out?
avatar for Dolfan
Dolfan
10 years ago
"Before you think about this decision, jerk off. After you bust a nut, then think about this decision. I bet that you'll look at it differently."

Ok Slick, that is both the funniest and wisest shit I've heard all month. Fucking priceless.
avatar for alabegonz
alabegonz
10 years ago
"You can move in with her when your lease expires."

She doesn't pay rent. Her roommate is supposed to be her BF/(future husband), but it turned south after a few weeks.

She just wants to bail out and move to the next guy. We've been hanging for several months now and I really do like where I'm at.
avatar for alabegonz
alabegonz
10 years ago
"She moves in with you and all of her problems are now yours to solve."

Yeah, this is definitely going to happen, that's why the idea of letting her in is like my life going further south.
avatar for alabegonz
alabegonz
10 years ago
"You've struck gold dude !!! Congratulations."

Yeah, true dat.

Seriously, of all the dancers I've had semi-serious relationship with but this lady can make my dull moments like I'm about to get pulled-over or busted by a cop. The stuff she pulls-off, I should've dropped her and left her for good, but she makes my day go by so fast.
avatar for alabegonz
alabegonz
10 years ago
"Before you think about this decision, jerk off. After you bust a nut, then think about this decision. I bet that you'll look at it differently."

Best advice, awesome thanks for that, I will definitely do that.

Anyway, I do have another sexual relationship with another woman. But my thoughts somehow takes me to moments when we were together.

avatar for alabegonz
alabegonz
10 years ago
" If its win lose her number, take a year off from the club and be thankful you almost fucked up instead of fucking up."

I see what you mean by this one. I'm actually cutting on my spending to get me free from too much SC'ing.
avatar for alabegonz
alabegonz
10 years ago
"Are you HER type? Outside of having money that is."

Not sure of about this one, I probably will never know.
avatar for alabegonz
alabegonz
10 years ago
"Also, if you think it will get better for her once she is living with you or that she will chance once she sees your life you are safely mistaken."

I will get better for her, for sure. But my lifestyle will go south because I have someone new to my life who I will have to live with. This new situation is not good for me.

But if she finds another dude who will take her in. I will be kicked-out of her lifestyle, that's for sure.
avatar for alabegonz
alabegonz
10 years ago
"a dancer boyfriend is different than a dancer's one night stands.
if you and she plan on her becoming your SO with this arrangement, there are a lot of things you will learn about dancers. some not so pretty. it would be nice if Jerikson40 was right. do what slickspic suggests first."

That is still in front of me, I've known her for seven months now.
avatar for alabegonz
alabegonz
10 years ago
"It's all about the trust you have with her. People say strippers are crazy, but really that can apply to women in general. I've lived with a stripper, and it wasn't all that bad. Whatever your gut feeling is telling you, go with it."

Do I trust her?

I think I do, but when she is inside my home that one I'm not sure if I can turn my back and still feel OK. But she totally is cool with me, she already pulled me in her life and know exactly how her life is going.
avatar for alabegonz
alabegonz
10 years ago
"Would you be friends with her without sex?"

Yes

What if she suddenly said she can't have sex with you anymore after she moves in because her bf would be upset?

No

"What if she and other guys come over to have paid sex at your place?"

Ask her to leave and go to a cheap place like preview rooms.

"Can you evict her if she refuses to leave?"

She is a bitch with her current roommate/BF. Man, she will ruin my life if she does that to me.
avatar for sharkhunter
sharkhunter
10 years ago
It's your life. Sleep on it and let us know how it went.

As a secondary preview option, you could have her spend a couple days and nights over to see if you can't stand her or you love it. As long as you aren't worried about her cleaning your place out and her dissapearing or some items disappearing while you are out. You could even make it a week if that works out but make it clear it's temporary. If you can't stand her living with you, you'll be happy it's not permanent.

I read a dating tip to make a first date not last that long. If it turns into a date from hell, you can get away. Moving in sounds more permanent.

Of course you could establish your house rules. I would not allow smoking in my house. Right there I would either piss off some strippers or they might think I wouldn't notice. I would. Is she going to pay part of the utility bill? is eating your food ok? How about if she has friends over and they eat up all your food? Are your sleep hours compatible or does she like to listen to loud music when you need to sleep?
avatar for sharkhunter
sharkhunter
10 years ago
Of course now that I think about it, lots of people would have been easier to live with than my father in the morning and one of my sisters. My father acted like everyone should be up at the crack of dawn when he got up and my younger sister used to steal stuff. I would take it back. She thought if she didn't get caught, she got to keep it. Couldn't do anything but yell at her and try to make life harder if she ate my food I bought for myself. I stopped buying more than I was going to eat that night. Of course if you make 450k a year, no problemo. I'm talking about when I was in college and home for the summer.
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