What would your perfect club be like?
AbbieNormal
Maryland
Time to get back to talking about naked girls in a fun way. Let's try to keep it connected to reality, such as things that actually do happen in clubs. I know that on Baltimore's Block you can get just about anything you want, so let's assume that in a perfect world everyone would want a no cover nude club a block from their house staffed with nothing but 10's who would have absolutely safe unprotected sex for $5 then buy YOU a drink. In a less than perfect world, what features would your club have. We can also assume really hot dancers is something everyone wants. For me it would be a relatively small club with a minimal cover. Full bar with reasonably priced drinks would be a plus (say $5-6 for beer). The stage shows would be fully nude and about a three or four song set that includes some floor work. Lighting should be sufficient to actually see. Lap dances would be private, either g-string or fully nude, and touching everything but the kitty permitted. Also no more than $20 for a regular lap. As a bonus every so often you could get a lap from the waitresses (ever see a really hot waitress and curse your luck she didn't dance?). I'd prefer to do without the DJ, but at the very least he should realize nobody is there to listen to him talk and keep it short and to the point. The decore isn't that big a deal to me, but at the least it should be comfortable and not threadbare and straight out of the 60's. A decent humidore would be a plus. Any other ideas?
49 comments
1) Skip the gown concept, it's a strip club.
2) Quick pick. I was at a place in San Antonio that did this, they called it the "boom boom". Every dancer circulated throught the club for one song. If you left a single on the table they'd give tou about a 30 second sample.
3) Topless waitresses.
1. A near by location in a nice area.
2. Free parking in a fenced in and guarded lot.
3. Reasonable cover charge.
4. Reasonable drink and dance prices.
5. Topless waitresses.
6. Small private dance areas with a door.
7. Bouncers who are respectful, friendly and keep a low profile.
8. All beautiful women.
9. The club treats the dancers and support staff well.
Large, well lit free parking
No line to get in
3 stages, 3 song performances (clothed, topless, naked)
Sexy/Cute Outfits not evening wear
Separate Bar and Table Seating with Bar being big enough to accomodate 2-3 barmaids
Cute Waitress
No Smoking(Mons Venus Tampa) or if Smoking is allowed really really good vents (high ceilings help)
Cheap Drinks (currently paying 5 for a bottle, even 3 would be better)
20 dollars per dance no more
I like my places to be jamming (Seating should be available most times, but not at peak capacity)
No bathroom attendents (these guys still creep me out)
Bouncers/Managers are better seen, but not instrusive (ie should protect the dancers from the damn cheap skates who pinch their asses)
Shot Girls --- Only if they are cute and something cheaper than 20 dollars for a shot and a mini lapper and whip cream sucking
DJs are fine, but are better if they are just announcing who the ladies are with bit of banter for the bachleor/birthday parties---- Telling me to clap is the firrst sign you need to go--- oh and a good mix of music (Oldies and Current--- Hip Hop and Pop and Rock)
Not a fan of the pool/darts/rec rooms seems like girls running off and one place I went had a pool table the girls were never around
Food---I can go either way, Doesn't impress me ever so, ehh...
bar none.
Now I'm really looking forward to an upcoming visit...
I'd have a 3 strikes you're fired policy when it comes to club rules. But I'd pay $15 sn hour plus full benefits
No extras
Let girls take turns managing the club. Bartender. Waitressing. Djing
Offer money management club management bartending courses to dancers for free
Have a counselor come in once a week to see if girls want help with addictions abusive relationships etc
Those who take courses or get help don't have to pay house fees or tipout.
A free make your own taco bar for customers.
Have different themed nights like studio 54, hustlers ball . A fetish night where customers can get whipped or spanked with a paddle.
Most nights would play real gangster rap, regageton, Latin trap. Theme nights would have appropriate music.
After hours parties every night.
No bottle service. A $50 all you can drink beer and well drink special.
$50 cover.
Allow church and youth groups to use the premises for free for get togethers etc
Dancers do more for less money.
We do a 2 song set on stage, it could be for $10, or $2. Stage is HARD on your body. Just being on your knees on a hard floor hurts and causes bruises, after only one night. And you want us to do 4 songs instead.
^^ one example.
Best thing here was “You get what you pay for.” A club with a higher cover is usually a decently maintained club on the inside, as an example.
K, cool thread.
In addition to being what I think is the best local club, Brad's is the most popular. I once asked a stripper who had worked in multiple local clubs including Brad's why the other club owners who were less successful didn't study Brad's and try to copy what they were doing right. Her reply was that it was an owner male ego thing. Most club owners think they are smarter than every other club owner and have nothing to learn from anyone else.
But either in 2005 or today my perfect club would be dark with tables all around the walls with floor length black tablecloths offering plenty of privacy for UHM lap dances. The tables in the center of the floor would be replaced by booth seating with similar tablecloths providing privacy. The booths would be arranged stadium style so you could see the stages but the would be sight blocked by the back of the booth in front of you. Dances would be the Atlanta standard $10.
Dancers would all be 8's and up and none older than 30. Most would be enthusiastic about making "extra" money in the VIP rooms that have floor to ceiling walls, doors that lock and comfy bench seating along the wall. VIP would never cost more than $250 all in.
I have found every one of these features at some club at some time. Just never at the same club.
I'd prefer a club where dancers wear string bikinis, and only dance on stage if they choose to.
1) professional enough staff members that avoids playing favorites
2) mileage standardized and everyone does about the same…and does at a level I don’t considered excessive (by my biased standards)
3) whatever the house/cut of dances and rooms/tip out to staff member is….doesn’t go above 20%
4) diversity in dancer body types, races, and age
5) diversity with clientele as far as types of jobs, ages, race
6) alcohol in the club but not a heavy drinking culture and feeling heavy pressure to drink to make a sale
7) money is consistent most shifts
8) laid back/lower stress environment
9) no excess rules like be here at this time, do scheduling, rules on acceptable outfits, etc
But on the other hand, in my mind, the perfect club doesn’t exist. Nor is that possible, because I have add and just like being in different environments in general.
I do have a general (very subjective) rubric. $40/hr average over three shifts is my bare minimum $ wise, and that is for a fun not-even-trying environment and can come and go as I please. The further a club is from what I consider “fun” or “easy” for ANY reason (whether it’s club staff, other dancers, customers, etc) the further high I set my money expectations. And that is the vast majority of them, but that is okay and I like many places.
#7 is the most unrealistic, and why does it matter if you make your average?
Your low minimum $ goal is increasing my suspicions that you're really a sock puppet. From your selfies, I'd guess you could make six figures working 3 shifts per week, with little trouble. If not, it just proves how people are their own worst enemies. At any given time, I'd guesstimate at least 10% of guys would have happier lives, and could afford, getting at least a half hour lap dancing per week, even without extras. Less than 0.5% of women look as good as you and are willing to lap dance. So, in a non-stupid world, you should be in the money zone more than 10 hours a week on average.
But no, I don’t clear six figures. I’m too lazy for that lol.
If you think #2 and #6 is odd…then go hang out in central Texas sometime. Can be competing with LOTS of activity on floor dances and pissing off customers. And also, drinking in general and bottle service in particular is huge there and yes customers do expect you to drink with them. Can always pull sneaky stuff like dumping it out but it is what it is, and something considered stressful
Is that average possible? It is in a high end club with high dollar vip rooms with some 1-3k shifts to drag the overall averages up and boost the crappier shifts. My home club is a midtier club and I usually work during the day for five hours with occasional nightshifts here and there. Not going to average $667 in those conditions. (Which is perfectly fine with me)
- Among the most beautiful lineups -- nightshift AND dayshift -- I've ever seen. Think Spearmint Rhino or Sapphire Vegas type lineups
- Most of the girls do extras, from HJ to FS, a few girls did anal, a bunch did kink & fetishes
- A variety of extras opportunities -- stand-up booths (only gotten HJs there), couch rooms, bed rooms, all curtained off & diff prices
- The girls did put in some artistry into the stage and the various shows
- Staff was mostly invisible
In short, extras with girls who are as beautiful as in any high end non-extras alcohol club
Downsides: high prices (many of you are paying less for FS today, than it cost for a BJ there in 1999), no alcohol
The experience was way different than what I'm after these days, but boy I wish I could go back now and then. I have in mind what my realistically best alcohol club would be like, but just not sure that once you introduce alcohol, you can get away with as much. Not in CA at least, maybe you other guys are spoiled
Not a hard sell that strip clubs, probably along with almost everything else, are hellholes in David Koresh Land. Assuming you are somehow trapped there, very sorry about that.
Nice.
I would make a change - and remove the pool table and the coin operated video game. If the toilets flushed consistently - that would be a nice upgrade too.
There were some fights - and I hope that removing the pool table would stop the fights.
The DJ was not good, but that didn’t matter.
The club was a small stage stocked with sexy and filthy Brazilian dancers. The bar seemed to have a very limited selection of booze. It was usually bottled beer and some other watery swill.
The upstairs - VIP area - was anything goes. It was great! It was also very affordable as well!
IMHO the perfect club is one which best: (1) balances the natural conflicts between the guys and gals; and (2) otherwise makes everyone on both sides of the tip rail happy to be there. For example, a club like that:
- Treats both customers and dancers well, which includes not being too greedy with either and otherwise adopting a welcoming approach.
- Makes it easy for the girls to earn, regardless of what their limitations might (or might not) be.
- Makes it easy for the guys to spend, regardless of what they might be seeking.
To me the closest thing I've ever seen to a perfect club is Club Desire in Providence. They hit these points on all cylinders and, as a result, they have a large following of dedicated regulars and many of the dancers have been there for years. They seem to have found the right balance, treating everyone well and making it easy to spend/earn money there. Shit if I was a RI resident I'd be one of those regulars in a nanosecond.
1. Dress and paint up
2. Follow your lead
3. Offer up her 3 inputs without reservation
It really is simple. So you want no restrictions at stage side, front room, back room, facility for TLN onsite.
SJG