Turning down dancers looking for dances

Vin66
I have seen discussions about this kind of thing but its on my mind after the last visit to the club. Went in on Wednesday between appointments mostly for a beer and to watch the World Cup game. Went to the bar to order a beer, girl I dont know immdiately starts chating. She is ugly and I dont like her body at all. I chat w her and a couple of other girls a little bit. There are like 10 dancers and 8 customers, its midafternoon. I know that soon she'll ask about dances. Three minutes in she asks for dances. I say "I'm all set right now, I'm gona watch the game" and go back to should watching the game. She approaches ad asks again like five minutes later. "I'm all set right now" I say again. She excuses herself to the ladies room, then a girl I was eying appoaches. I go off and have a drink,then get dances. After that I need to leave soon, but the girl I said no to twice approaches and starts talking to me again. I'm sure she is gonna ask again about dances. I finish my beer then tell her I need to go.

I dont know, should I be more straighforward. Most dancers I've ever encountered get it if I decline dances and go away. But every now and then a girl doesnt get the hint. How do you guys handle it?

17 comments

Latest

sharkhunter
10 years ago
You get a lot of practice. I turn dancers down for dances probably hundreds to thousands of times a year. No thanks or maybe later are the standards they are used to hearing for you aren't interested. Say something nonstandard if you want them to come back and ask you again like, "I just got here, can you ask me later?,I wanted to wait a little while before getting dances.". If you really want them to stay away all night, just make sure you stink or tell them you have no money or be rude.

I had no intentions of getting dances last night in one club but let a dancer sit on my lap. I usually don't let a dancer stay long without telling her I'm not interested in dances because they often want something, drinks, tips, etc. I wasn't sure what happened, 40minutes or so later, I was getting 2 for $30 dances from her. I could have gotten it cheaper if I agreed to more dances but I don't like doing that with someone who has never danced for me before.
sharkhunter
10 years ago
Every once in a blue moon, a dancer is very determined to dance for me. One dancer was determined to have sex with me but that didn't bother me. It's when a dancer whom you're not at all interested in doesn't leave you alone that problems pop up. In one case for me, I think the dancer just really liked me a lot but I wasn't interested in her.

In another case, I just wasn't sure. I was wondering if the dancer was new. She ended up after arguing with me getting or feeling rejected and sat by the bar never approaching me again. I never saw her again. I didn't even see her approach anyone else. After 3 no's, most dancers won't approach you the rest of the night if they remember you.
sharkhunter
10 years ago
A number of times, I actually enjoy dancers sitting on my lap. I would be ok with that most of the night without getting dances.
GoVikings
10 years ago
lololol, VINTAGE shark with 3 god damn posts in a row. But I feel the exact same way you do about the third post you made in this thread.

As for the original question, I rarely have this problem, but when I do I excuse myself to the bathroom or get up and tip another dancer or just tell her to leave me the hell alone. :)

Vin66
10 years ago
Yeah usually girls go away after one ask but its akward if she doesnt go away. I dont wanna be rude but I'm not gonna pay $25 a dance with some girl I dont like.

I love ladies sitting in my lap, bummer my local club has outlawed that. I'm a leg man, my regulars still put their legs across my lap for...easy access :).
Clackport
10 years ago
"VINTAGE shark with 3 god damn posts in a row".

LMAO
oscarlomax
10 years ago
Most dancers are used to rejection so they move on. Ocacssionally, some are desperate for money because it's slow so they try to wear you down. I'm never rude but I also let them know I'm not interested. I may say something like, "I'll let you know when I'm ready" or "I'm waiting on someone." I remember one girl was so persistent and got frustrated and said, "Why'd you come, if you're not going to get dances?" I said, "You're denying all these other guys the pleasure of your company. Please don't let me stand in their way." She had no comeback and walked off in a huff. If the dancer wants to get upset then it's not on me. The fact that you keep your cool is always a good thing and the only one who comes off looking silly is that particular dancer. Whether you care what others think or not is not the issue. You come in to have a good time so you don't allow anyone to kill your vibe.
Club_Goer_Seattle
10 years ago
@ Oscar: Great line of yours! -- "You're denying all these other guys the pleasure of your company. Please don't let me stand in their way."

I'll have to remember that, if I'm ever in need of it. But, I haven't had the need for a snappy line like that in several years.
Papi_Chulo
10 years ago
It’s often the fuglies that have a hard time selling dancers and will thus resort to any means to try and sell dances
Clubber
10 years ago
Papi,

So true, but the reason is obvious. If Miss Asian Hottie of 2012 comes up and asks me, she's got many dances and more. But if Miss Sow of 2012 comes up, not a chance no matter how much she pesters me.

I think I'll try to remember Oscar's line as well. :)
georgmicrodong
10 years ago
The bartender at my former SB's club still gives me crap about the line I used on one of the girls there. She was a *really* large one, and not pretty even in the way some large girls can be, and she was bitching one day about how I, and apparently everybody else that day, wouldn't even buy her a drink, but when [my SB] walked out, everybody would be drooling and begging.

"If you have any self-esteem issues, I suggest you refrain from reflecting too closely on the potential reasons for that state of affairs."
kingcripple
10 years ago
I have had this problem. I find it is usually the black dancers. Not to be racist or anything. It just has been my experience that I am always approached by black dancers who don't know how to take no for an answer. Sometimes it helps not to make eye contact. Like a T-Rex. I find 7 out of 10 times that is the case. Don't look at them and they won't bother you
rl27
10 years ago
I occasionally find those dancers, and usually just tell them "Sorry I am not interested." Most tend to stop asking after a few visits, although occasionally I'll find one persistent.

Merak at Kahoots in Columbus is currently the only one I consistently have to turn down every visit, and usually her at least twice every visit, and yet she still hasn't gotten the hint I'll never get a dance from her.

I have only gotten rude three times, and with two of the dancers it was when they brought up the race card, i.e, "What you don't like ____ dancers?"

I don't count the dancer who a dancer flat out asked me, "it's because I'm fat right?" since obviously she knew she was way overweight, and I truthfully told her, "that and other things," and she ran off in tither.

AnonymousJim
10 years ago
I try to be polite but swift.

If a girl is hustling for dances, she's hustling for money. If I'm not interested in giving it to her, I want to at least be courteous enough for her to know that she's better off spending her time trying to get that money from some other guy. It's one thing to not give her what she wants. It's another thing to keep her from getting what she wants.
Clubber
10 years ago
king,

Strange how we have to follow ANY comment these days about a black person with, "Not to be racist or anything." Idiots, jerks, aholes, etc can come in any color, sex, shape, size, etc...

Big_sarge
10 years ago
I've only encountered a few dancers that just wouldn't quit asking...after I reach a certain level of annoyance I have an epic line I use...it's like Luke Skywalker blowing up the Death Star...in fact I think I made a girl cry.

So here it is:

When they keep asking and asking why I don't want a dance, I reply:

"This place is about fantasies, and you're not mine..."
sharkhunter
10 years ago
Big sarge, I like the line. I'll try to remember that one and save it for special occassions..
I've only had two dancers refuse to take no, etc, etc, for an answer and keep arguing with me like a little kid that won't quit as if arguing with me for 15 mnutes is going to make me suddenly want to buy dances. Actually make that one dancer. The other dancer escalated her offers of free stuff she would do with me until I refused to go home with her. If I say no to free dances with her, why would I want to go home with her? Of course did I believe the dances would be free? No, one complaint from her to a bouncer that I did not pay and who do you think would pay?
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