Strangest thing I ever said to a stripper

luvthepus
T Town

Last night I went to a new club where a friend of mine is dating a Bartender. He thinks she is doing VIP dances when she insists she does not,so he asked me to go do a little recon work for him. He even offered to give me 200 bucks to use to pay for the trip to the VIP if she will go. Well the club was totally empty so I was surrounded by 4 strippers and only got to talk to the barmaid enough to start a little ground work for next week. Well eventually the girls moved away and it was me and 1 heavily tatted up little spinner she asked if I wanted a dance I said yeah so we went in back it was a very wide open area probably the tamest dance I have had in a long time but not bad just no happy ending in her mouth like I am used to. When the song got started she said I hate this song, it was country song Live like you are dying. After a short time she told me this song make me want to shoot myself in the face, well I looked her straight in the eye and said "just so you know if you do I am going to hurry up and fuck you before you get cold". She didn't miss a beat and came back with I want you to fuck me in the hole left from the bullet. I said I would cum in that hole she said I want the cum to run out my nose after you cum. Well after that conversation we finished our dance and I said goodnight and headed out to see my ATF at my usual club. I was thinking about that conversation and honestly couldn't believe I said that but it was pretty funny that we both kept the conversation going and progressing to a new low with every word. So tell me have any of you ever heard anything that ridicules said to a girl 20 minutes after you meet her, I even surprised myself to say that on 2 beers. Nasty bastard that I am.

11 comments

Latest

  • chessmaster
    •
    11 years ago
    That could have been really awkward.
  • luvthepus
    •
    11 years ago
    I kind of thought we were made for each other for a second or two.
  • sharkhunter
    •
    11 years ago
    I'm not interested in drinking breast milk but one dancer tried to squirt some in my mouth about 20 times. I deflected every shot. I told her she missed. lol
  • crazyjoe
    •
    11 years ago
    Wow that is wierd
  • zipman68
    •
    11 years ago
    LuvthepusDude, that is some class A-1 weird shit. Are we going to see a story about you on the investigation discovery channel?
  • zipman68
    •
    11 years ago
    Also dude... Puss is short for pussy (be it human or a reference to a feline).

    Pus is the whitish fluid that accumulates near infections. Please tell us that you dig the pussy (presumably human poontang since you're on a strip club site, but we're also cool if you love your cat in a non-sexual way) and not pus.
  • rockstar666
    •
    11 years ago
    Oh yes. The first time I met my #2 she was being playfully bitchy and I gave it right back to her. She slapped my ass after some comment I made and I said, "Is that all you got?" (Doing my Muhammad Ali to Forman during the Manila fight if you know that story). Then she slapped me HARD. I think she was impressed that I just stood up to her. I just love how she's so self assured but also soft and sweet to me now that we know each other well. She's now my #2, only second to my ATF.
  • umissedaspot
    •
    11 years ago
    Luvthepus, that was so sick and brilliant nobody can match it. Any girl who can play along with that shit is a keeper.
  • JohnSmith69
    •
    11 years ago
    Stripper: can I ask you a question?

    Me: that's okay, I will answer without you asking. 12 inches.
  • sharkhunter
    •
    11 years ago
    Another strange thing I said to a stripper after she told me she had some poltergeist activity at her place that had been going on for months.
    I'll ask whatever is in my house to kick some ghost butt.

    Then the following week or two, she said it worked.
    A year later, she said all was still quiet.

    Then I asked her
    You want me to send a visitor back over to your place? lol
    She said , noooo.
  • carolynne
    •
    11 years ago
    a guy once asked me if i would teach his wife to suck his cock the way i did, and i said "sure, bring her around!" while we both laughed. then an hour later he shows up again with his wife...
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