I can't believe I'm going to do this

I would start out by asking about OTC. She has lots of customers fall in love with her and for her that means the end of the customer! By doing OTC she'll get to know you better. But after 3 years if SHE hasn't suggested OTC I doubt she's that into you; sorry.

Well Ranukam, hope for the best, and prepare for the worst. When I was young, I was not that good at "preparing for the worst"

How about a civilian date first? Dinner and cocktails would be a better start if you're trying to cultivate a relationship.

She might want $$$ for even just dinner. Might as well fuck her if you're going to pay. Of course, if she doesn't want money, then there you go! It's a real date!

This seems like a giant leap. I concur with the consensus - try some baby steps first, like asking her out for a drink. If she says something like "sorry, I don't date customers" you'll know where you stand & have avoided a huge humiliation.

If she agrees, and there is "mutual' attraction", you can take it from there.

I have done dinner and drinks with her before. I have definitely seen her OTC.

Sounds good. Best of luck!

Urbandictionary.com defines hopeless romantic as


"6.

hopeless romantic

a person who allows feelings of love to override common sense

Was I being a hopeless romantic when I offered her an extra fifty if she could convince me that she wasn't doing it just for the money?"

Good luck.

Good luck, but don't hope for much.

If at first you dont succeed, buy her another beer

"I can't get out of my mind" <-- Major Red Flag. I have been there done that and it did not work out. YMMV.

"I have done dinner and drinks with her before. I have definitely seen her OTC."

Thought you were just a "semi-regular of hers" who gets dances 1 time out of 5 visits?

Get your story straight, man. Sheesh!

Steve, I don't understand what you're saying? When I go to her club I don't get dances with her every visit, it averages out like once per 5 visits. This is why I said semi-regular. I would think a regular pretty much gets dances with his dancer every visit.

And yes I've taken her to dinner once, and drinks a few times.

How does this equal not keeping my story straight? Maybe you just didn't understand everything I was saying?

So all of a sudden you want to go from "semi-regular" to actual boyfriend? You've gone OTC but now are going to ask her....exactly what? To 'go steady'? Move in with you? Get married?

Or do you just want to fuck her for free?

When I'm infatuated with a dancer, she would need a restraining order to keep me from getting dances from her every visit, lol - I guess that's the part I'm not grasping

@rockstar- I want to be her boyfriend, but I know that's unlikely. Basically I want to get her off my mind, so I'm gonna tell her everything. If she rejects me so be it, I'm prepared for it. If that happens I won't go to her club again and I can get her off my mind because I know she doesn't want me.

BTW when I say OTC I'm just talking about dinner and drinks. I haven't fucked her, but yeah fucking her for free would obviously be nice lol.

Also for anyone that doesn't know, I'm the same age as her (25).

Oh I see Steve. Yeah believe me it was tempting to get dances with her every time, but I knew if I became a regular regular of hers that there would be a 0% chance of me getting with her. At least now I have like a 5% chance.

Well, there's always a chance...

"Lloyd: What do you think the chances are of a guy like you and a girl like me... ending up together?
Mary: Well, Lloyd, that's difficult to say. I mean, we don't really...
Lloyd: Hit me with it! Just give it to me straight! I came a long way just to see you, Mary. The least you can do is level with me. What are my chances?
Mary: Not good.
Lloyd: You mean, not good like one out of a hundred?
Mary: I'd say more like one out of a million.
[pause]
Lloyd: So you're telling me there's a chance... YEAH!"

Well, there's always a chance...

"Lloyd: What do you think the chances are of a guy like you and a girl like me... ending up together?
Mary: Well, Lloyd, that's difficult to say. I mean, we don't really...
Lloyd: Hit me with it! Just give it to me straight! I came a long way just to see you, Mary. The least you can do is level with me. What are my chances?
Mary: Not good.
Lloyd: You mean, not good like one out of a hundred?
Mary: I'd say more like one out of a million.
[pause]
Lloyd: So you're telling me there's a chance... YEAH!"

Go for it – what do you have to lose – and the fact you have not spent much $$$ on her by only getting dances every now and then and never paying for OTC services; means you have not gone past the point of stripper no return in where she sees you as an ATM.

Good luck and let us know how it goes. And you may not need to stop going there if it doesn't work out. If you know her schedule just go when she doesn't work.

@Duke-I thought that it was the shots of penicillin that cured your ass?

"Also for anyone that doesn't know, I'm the same age as her (25)."

More evidence that 30 should be the minimum age for strip club patrons, lol

@duke1 - I'm just messing with you young guys. Enjoy it while you can.

I used to go to strip clubs when I was in my 20's, then I got married, had kids, career, mortgage, etc. and didn't set foot in a strip club again until I was in my 50's.

Good luck ranukam, though you may be better off in the long run if your attempt fails. As the old expression goes, "be careful what you wish for." ;)

@ranukam- I AGREE w/the replies that you need to take baby steps. At least read these:

http://www.lovepanky.com/men/how-to-tips…

http://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advi…

By PUA protocol you are on suicide mission. Sorry bro but she wil just look at you like you must be crazy out of your mind.

I actually did what you going to execute. Ended up one big mess she got pissed at me. After three weeks she texted back saying she needs me for a dance---money. It is all good now like we are to where we were before the mess.

Good luck.

Word Ran, she's a maneater.

Good luck! From your description of her, I gather she is not a lying thieving, drunken whore who would only be interested in you for your money.

@alabegonz: I have a similar story. I met my ATF OTC after about a year, but it didn't go well at all. She wanted money as per custom, but she wasn't comfortable about the sex part. I'm quite certain I was her first OTC. After a brief hiatus of not seeing her ITC or OTC, I went back to the club, bought her a few drinks and said I was just fine with the ITC arrangement and not to worry. She was afraid I was pissed off at her and she lost a regular in the process.

Having a major crush on her still, I just went back to 'friend' mode, like we had been. The fact we survived this first crisis actually made our relationship better. Then about a year later she asked about OTC again and I said that since it really didn't work out so well the first time that I didn't want to. She responded that she'd worked through her issues and wanted me to take her out. So that's where we're at now.

So yes, it IS possible to cultivate relationships with dancers, but 99% of the time it ends badly. If she just wants money you have to take it at face value. I don't know where mine is going to end up, it's a fun ride. Just don't forget that even if she likes you it's still all about the money.

Word to the wise: if you want a stripper as a g/f buy her drinks, tip at the stage out of courtesy, but understand the first time you pay for private is the last time you have a chance with her as a g/f.

Thanks to all for the good luck wishes. I think you all know how this turned out. I confessed my feelings to her, and she told me I messed it up between us when I apparently slapped her ass at the bar awhile back (I must have been drunk because I don't remember that). She said she acted like it didn't bother her, but she was really disappointed in me, she thought I was a different person. It could have been SS, but I do know she has a hard time forgiving people.

So I wasn't completely humiliated, but I definitely won't be back to this club again, it would just be too awkward. Regardless of what she says, I think I messed it up by continually getting dances from her. I've dated my fair share of strippers, and I know if you wanna get with them, you have to keep the dances to a minimum. I guess you can't get everything you want.

Speaking of dating strippers I have a article called "how to bag a stripper part 2" that should be posted any day now, I wrote it on February 14th and it's still under review. The article will no doubt be a little controversial. There is a lot of humor in the article, so just take it for what its worth, remember TUSCL is entertainment, look out for the article.

Duke1- I'm the same way, usually when I can't get a girl off my mind, I fuck a different girl. However, this girl is the hottest girl I've ever met, so any girl I fuck will be a little less attractive than her.

rh48hr- The problem is she works damn near everyday lol.

I think I should be able to get her off my mind now.

I was curious what happened. I also just had a similar experience. My time with my now ex-ATF came to an end in last couple weeks. It got sloppy and was quite a mess. I'm not going back to the club for reasons you mentioned, or at least not for months. I'm curious if what happened would cause something else to happen if I show up mid summer after not seeing her for that long. Idk, prob best to live and let die.

But at least you got your answer, if you never asked you would be kicking yourself.

@ranukam: I doubt the ass slap was anything critical, and the frequency of dances as well. You never "blew it" with her. You never had a chance in the first place and she needed some excuse. Girls in general are like that and dancers even more so. I wonder how my ATF will break up with me sometimes!

From her point of view, regulars/customers who want more from her than the business arrangement are just trouble. She doesn't need 100 "boyfriends". She needs guys who will pay her and then stay out of her life.

I think u are right rockstar, they don't need us causing probs and that is what I fell into. There was shit from both sides and it got bad towards the end. Don't want to admit how much we talked via messenger over past couple months. It was like we were dating. It got hairy enough that it'll be a while before I look for a replacement. It's for the best though I believe. I found a P4P that will be cheaper and no other drama. I think I liked the chase on a non extras girl that never met guys OTC before she met me. That was obvious by a couple factors. I tried but failed and ended up getting feelings hurt in process but all good. When I feel that way now I go for FS and forget the drama.

“… I doubt the ass slap was anything critical …”


I wouldn’t be so sure; in my personal opinion.

From a guy’s POV; that is no big deal – but women are a lot more picky/finicky when it comes to choosing a mate (BF; dating; etc) – women in general IMO often notice the small things/details a lot more than most of us dudes – for many women; one can say/act the right thing 99% of the time when “courting” them and one can say (or act) one small wrong thing and it’s over

To anyone who's saying that it "probably wasn't" the ass smack... That's false. As soon as a guy treats you like just a piece of ass, any girl is gonna treat him like a walkin ATM. It's plain and simple.

@rockstar666, thanks for telling your story.

I asked her why she got pissed, she said having a BF means responsibility and she didn't want any of it. Now that she knows how I feel, she will keep a note of it and probably come back to me in the future when she's done doing wild things.

She also said we can go out and do it for money.

It's definitely money and her lifestyle of wild (abandon) things.

@ranukam, I think I know who she is. I got intel she is working there everyday. She may be the one I could not even land my hands on.

Oh well. you tried. Sometimes you feel better when you try and fail rather than never ask.

You took a shot, ranukam.
Now you can move on.

Glad you can move on now. Probably would have ended up being more trouble than it's worth.

Now onto the next one! One sir closes and another will open.

Door not sir.

DAMN phone always correcting things that don't need correcting.

Glad you came out relatively unscathed.

Just to be clear: I don't slap dancer's asses! They slap mine a lot though LOL. But yes, I'm aware that many/most wouldn't like it. I doubt my ATF would dump me if I slapped hers once, but the only time I would do that is in bed when we're fucking. Lots of girls like that...I'm not quite sure why, but if they ask, I spank them!