Top stripclub suggestions

The club should have bright lights---I hate dark clubs!

I agree with Chandler, I wouldn't mind the frills and high prices if the quality was top caliber too, but in my experience it rarely is. The expensive GC's that I'm most familiar with have average dancer quality and lame LD's. The best laps always seem to be in the small inexpensive places. The big GC's have too much invested to allow behavior that might draw LE attention. And many of the girls that such places attract seem to be opposed to much contact.

OK, i haven't read all the post here, but here are a few I would throw in.

Phone booths where I can use my cell phone without leaving the club.

A barber chair and a sexy female barber so I can get a haircut, or shave, while I watch dancers.

Female @ shoe shine chair next to the barber chair.

Massage room (glassed in, but much quieter) where I can get a back massage. Not a "happy ending" place, but serious stress relief being offered for $1.00/min.

Easy, secure, safe free "self-parking", but complimentary valet also, with hand wash available.

21 and up- always. Kids need to be doing something else with their time.

Try to reflect the neighborhood regarding dancers and customers. One of my favorites has just gone "ghetto" with their dancers and it seriously doesn't fit for the neighborhood or the customer base. I like- probably PREFER- black girls, but having over half of the dancers black in this club just doesn't work. I predict it will close in a few months, after they run all the legitimate customers off, and have nothing but street gangs, selling drugs, and fights.

Eliminate VIP cost when VIP room is empty for REGULAR customers. This is a "perk". Explain that if VIP fills up with paying customers, they have to pay up or move outside to the main room. Granted, this is not for the Vegas style VIP "booths", but for the large clubs that have a quite VIP room set apart from the main room. For clubs that charge an annual fee for VIP, offer mini plans- like coupon books at a lesser price, or just one time fees.

Robofan, I can live with most of your gentlemen's club features if and only if the dancers and their dances are truly exceptional. However, I've only found that to be the case in a select few Detroit area clubs, which I know we agree on from your reviews. Even there, it's worth it only when your visit isn't during one of their all too frequent LE chills. There may be others I don't know about, but in every other town in my experience, the gents' club is the one with lame dances. When I'm in a place like that, all the so-called amenities just add to my aggravation. It's like going to a restaurant with a lot of expensive frills and being served an inferior meal.

OK I’ll take a contrarian view. I like all the trappings found in the typical Gentlemen’s club with a few exceptions.

Valet parking – I drive a new and very expensive car and I like to know that it’s being watched while I’m in the club. I always tip the valet on the way in and ask him to keep an eye on my car. When I come out it’s always parked right next to the valet booth. Ever wonder why it always seems like the closest spots have the newest most expensive cars parked in them? Now you know.

Cover charge – It keeps out some of the undesirables. In most places it’s not high enough to keep them all out.

Décor – I like a place where I can get a comfortable private booth with a good stage view where I can entertain the many dancers I will encounter while I’m there. I also like good stage lighting. I want a good look. A great sound system is also a good thing to have as long as the DJ doesn’t abuse it and play it to loud. Multiple flat screen hi def televisions to catch a glimpse of the game now and then. These are all things to me which create a comfortable atmosphere and I’m willing to pay for such an atmosphere.

Expensive drinks – Who cares. Not an issue with me. What’s an average bar tab compared to the price of lap dances. Generally the places with the highest prices have the most variety to offer. I like a place that offers a full line of drinks even though I usually only drink bottled water.

Expensive lap dances – It is my experience that the best dancers are very fluid. They move to where ever they can make the most money. If my paying a higher price for lap dances insures a steady flow of top notch dancers then I say ok. If you want the best you have to pay for it.

Bathroom attendants, Shot girls and annoying DJ’s – Here I agree with everyone else who needs them.

Chandler – Sorry for not responding sooner but today is the first time I had a chance.

Chandler, I think that I read a review for one of the clubs on the Illinois side of the St. Louis area that said the club in question had an "alibi booth." Basically white noise in which you could tell your lie of choice to your wife/boss/significant other/other person to whom you are accountable for your time and expects that you will spend that time doing something other than looking at nekkid ta-tas.

Yeah, I meant to ask you about the Alibi Booth, SuperDude. Was that for real? Where? It sounds like an old Saturday Night Live skit or a Prairie Home Companion sponsor with their sound effects man.

Alibi room I love it LMAO. Siclicone, well I happen to love a really good boob job though the siez is not so important as the shape and how they actually feel in my hands or rubbing onmy chest, with nice perky nips.

phonehome. I too am a big boob lover, and at times have succumbed to a pair of oversized silicone beauties, but if its my club i want natural tits. I love hangers and lover older women. my ATF was 38D real and is the same age I am. 44.

DD, I agree completely. I've been to clubs during the day when they weren't very busy and loved them. Tried the same place again at night and hated it. Timing is often everything.

I don't know what to say. I've enjoyed small places and huge places. I've really only been to 3 clubs that I wouldn't ever consider going back to, assuming they still existed, of course. Frankly, it all depends on my mood. So you could create the perfect club, but it could still suck, but only on certain days of the week. I do, on the other hand, tend to prefer the neighborhood type bars everyone else on here tends to like. As long as there are plenty of dancers, I'm fine with that.

Why so coy, parodyman? Share with us all the ways Jimmy's has changed in five years.

Thanks chandler the dork for your "2000" information on Jimmys. Very useful!

dennyspade: Since you asked, based on one visit to Jimmy's about five years ago, I would agree with much of your claim regarding Jimmy's friendly, no-BS character, except for:

- There was a DJ, and since I don't recall him being any less obnoxious than a typical strip club DJ, he should probably be fired.

- There weren't very many strippers, maybe five. This was at a peak time in the evening. Some were okay looking, but that small a selection was disappointing.

- Dances were strinctly no touch with mild dancer contact. If that's what they are charging $15 for now, I would consider them overpriced. The remedy, of course, is not to lower the price but to loosen the rules.

Like I said, this is all based on c. 2000 info, so it may be different now.

Gentlemen and occasional lady:

You may be describing JIMMY's in Chicago Heights, IL. It's a former restaurant, now a neighborhood bar, with an intimate feel, one stage and good sight lines from all seats and the bar. It's not smoke-free but never smoky.

They have ample FREE video-monitored parking (no valet B.S.) No washroom attendents (it's much to small)

NO Cover Charge (ever)

Drink price s are reasonable and a pitcher of beer is on special all day for $5 Mon thru Wed.

Dancers range from the girl-next-door to strippers in the twilight of their careers. They are ethnically diverse with a wide range of body types and hair colors. Ex-teachers and secretaries complement long-time strippers seeking a new venue. Dances areonly $15 and take place in semi-private room with wrap-around cushioned booths. No add'l B.S. from floorwalkers, bouncers, etc.

They have Dollar Dances and Ladies Choice dances throughout the night and they have special events such as golf outings and bus trips to sporting events with kegs and dancers on the bus.

So it's like CHEERS with T&A and the folks try to remember your name, drinks, and favorite dancers. Did we miss anything?

Well this might be more of a fantasy than being realistic but I would love to recruit some of my old or current favorites to come work for me. My old favorites were usually "down to earth" so I think that also would provide for a good working environment and I wouldn't have to worry about the strippers who lack professionalism or character.

Space can be a serious consideration. Look up the Guiliani rule in NYC.

Fondl I had not really considered the space aspect, I guess because the clubs i frequent are/were all big enough, I can see how it would be a problem for the corner bar that wanted to add dancers but didn't have the room.

Shotdisc There is nothing wrong with silicone, I like them big DD's at least and the normally means that the woman is going to need a little help to get there. I also like them pretty firm, not saggy, IE "the hanger look" I also like them older, 30 or so, now you might have not too much trouble finding any number of 18 year olds with nice firm natural DD's but but add 15-18 years of gravity and probably a kid or three and they won't look that way anymore, where as the woman that had the nice firm C-cups at 18 can without to much trouble have nice firm DD's at 36 after a BA.

Medium sized bar, no/minimal cover, normal drink prices, no bouncers or managers hovering around the room. hot barmaid who dances on occasion. wide range of girls. NO SILICONE. private lap dance area where girls set own prices and keep the money. full length songs from a mute DJ. no fancy costumes, no free mugs or t-shirts. no $2 bills for change. nothing that would ever make anyone confuse this bar with a gentleman's club. just a small, friendly, neighborhood titty bar with great girls and great mileage.

Chandler, I get the impression that the guys who frequent the high-end gentlemen's clubs are a very different breed of cat (not to be confused with Shadowcat) than the people who usually post here. I think GC's put a lot of emphasis on bachelor parties of one sort or another and other special groups of people who don't typically go clubbing very often. They also try to attract the high rollers and traveling businessmen. None of these groups are likely to spend time in a forum like this. I think the people on this board are more likely to be guys who attend clubs on a fairly regular basis, and such customers IMO tend to frequent the more low-brow clubs. I think the ratings system would make a lot more sense if we separated the clubs by type. That way we might have a better shot at learning which are the best titty bars, which are the best GCs, which are the best LD factories etc, and we wouldn't penalize places because it was a type we didn't like. Except that for a lot of places we probably wouldn't agree on which category it belongs in.

I wish we had an articulate advocate on this board for upscale clubs, DJs, valet parking, fake tits, all those thing we seem to agree in opposing. You know there must be somebody out there (other than the clubs) who thinks they're the greatest. There's a guy on TUSCL who rated one of my favorite dives a 1 because it lacked a laundry list of amentities he required. Maybe I should hunt him down.

Phonehome, the investment isn't in the love seats, it's in the additional space required by the separate room. In a lot of clubs that would mean reducing the size of the bar or adding a room, either of which is a significant investment. I know of a neighborhood titty bar that has a sofa for laps in the basement storage room, surrounded by beer cases etc. It ain't fancy but it sure is nice and private. I'll take that any day over the fancy VIP rooms where the bouncer is sticking his head in every 2 minutes or where there's a vieo camera watching your every move.

A $20.00 cover charge so that the club could eliminate all the hustle that adds up to that anyway, i.e., valet parking, bathroom attendants, shot girls, trinket sellers. Let the club keep the full cover and leave me alone to enjoy the dancers. Two drink minimum. Rules for dancers: (1) let a guy eat his meal in peace; (2) don't whine; (3) don't hustle drinks. An old gimmick could be revived: The Alibi Booth, a soundproof room, off to one side, with a selection of recorded sounds to be played in the background--traffic, office machines with background mumbled conversations, airport calls, crowd noises, etc., so you can call and tell some one that you're "stuck."

I have been to a few clubs that just had juke boxes, Mons Venus was one of them as I remember. I remember because the girls always seemed to ber hitting you up for money for it which could get a little annoying too, but in general it wasn't so bad and all things considered I would have preferred them to the ones where there was a DJ in love with the sound of his own voice.

Having a VIP area/champagne room with 4-6 comfortable love seats is not that big of an investment, if you are smart you can wait and buy them on sale, they don't need to match or anything, it is dark in there.

I have no use for batroom attendents, I can do with out the valet parking, I will walk a block or so if I have to to avoid it, I hate having anybody drive my car if I can help it

Everybody rips on valet parking and bathroom attendants, but they bother me the least. Sure, they're utterly useless and have no place in anybody's ideal club, but at least they don't interfere with my interaction with the girls. Whereas asshole DJs can obstruct conversation, asshole bouncers can put a chill on everything, and dumb manager decisions (like putting sofa chairs in the main room) can thwart my quest for skin at every turn. The lot flunkeys and the towel monkeys are out of sight and out of mind once the fun begins.

Seems to me that an awful lot of the upscale amenities are annoying. Valet parking, bathroom attendants, obnoxious DJs and unfriendly bouncers are obvious examples. Why should I pay extra for them when I don't even want them in the first place? I'll take the typical neighborhood corner bar any day.

One "amenity" I could do without are the thick padded sofa chairs, I guess you'd call them, I've seen as table seating in a few somewhat more upscale clubs. They're usually rounded, set low, on casters, like you might see in an airport cocktail lounge. The problem is they are the WORST possible seating for having a dancer come by and sit with you. She can't sit on your knee, because the chair's arm is in the way. And if she sits in an adjacent chair, you're both surrounded in so much thick padding you can't have any contact except to reach over and maybe touch her shoulder. I've had girls sit directly on me across the chair arms and my lap, but it was painful for both of us. They're just a dumb thing to have in a strip club. A basic, unpadded, armless dining-type chair is so much better, more versatile. When I want something soft, that's what dancers are for.

When talking about an ideal club, you have to keep in mind that there's a trade-off between amentities and cost. It's nice to have private comfortable seating areas and LD rooms and VIP rooms and DJs and fancy furnishings but these all cost the club money, and that in turn means they have to increase prices. Personally I favor fewer amentities and low prices, the kind of place where you can stop in regularly for a beer without spending very much, and I think a lot of other customers do too, but an awful lot of clubs seem to be moving in the opposite direction. Some places think that their main customers are bachelor parties and other special occasions and the occasional high roller. I frankly doubt if you can be successful with that approach unless you're in a place like Las Vegas, but a lot of places seem to be trying.

Phonehome, I agree with your idea of a normal bar that just happens to add strippers to the menu. Let the bar make their money from additional customers, not from the girls themselves. They can also have a modest entrance fee or inflate the drinks a little to add income. But let the girls keep their tips and LD money, that way you would attract high-quality girls who would be happy working there. But keep it where a guy can stop after work or for lunch and not spend so much that he can't afford to come in very often. I think such a place could be a gold mine.

They could operate more like a "regular" bar/club from a money standpoint. I mean lets think about it for a minute there are plenty or regular bars/clubs that make a decent (well they are still in business) profit from just selling drinks and having a modest, 5 dollar or so cover charge.

So why couldn't a successful strip club operate that way?

So I would have in my club.

It wouldn't be just a Lap Dance Factory much more like Cheers with dancers, if I guy wants to just go and drink fine if he wants more that is fine as well.

A cover charge in line with what other normal clubs have 5 no more than 10 dollars.

Drinks that are priced in line with other regular bar prices, dancer drinks would just be "normal" drinks, not 20-30 dollars for some diet coke and not mucj else and the waitress wouldn't, on the one hand ignore you if you are sitting by yourself and then decend on you the minute a dancers sits down with you wanting to know if "you wanted to buy the lady a drink".

A DJ but he is ther to play the music, minimal talking, just annouce the girls and leave it at that.

I would not charge a stage fee and let the dancers keep all there money from LD and give them a cut of VIP room time, bottle of champagne or how ever the club sells time in there, they would not pay tip outs, it isn't there job to pay for the rest of my employees.

With those conditions I suspect I would have girls from every club in the area wanting to work in mine, so I could be very picky and hire nothing but the 10's and if they don't perform to my expectations, don't come in when they are scheduled, are always wanting to leave early or are in general a pain in the ass or are found to be engageing in any thing illegal in my club I can get rid of them and know I will have plenty of girls wanting to take there place.

Last but not least they would all be at least 21, old enough to legally drink in my club, I don't need to have that whole contributing to the deliquencey of a minor thing hang over my head. Also if they are older I think I will screen out all the teenage high school drop out party girls who will be more interested in hanging out by the bar and talking to her girlfriends (and boyfriends)

The vip area would be comfortable and somewhat private but monitored enough to ensure that nothing more than high contact lap dancing is going on, he doesn't take anything out or insert anything and she doesn't reach in for anything. Play with and suck on her tits all you want!

Every girl would dance, no choice, they are not just there to sell Lap Dances, the only exception would be when thay are with a customer, no leaving the guy in VIP "because I have to go on stage, but as soon as they are done with that guy they are next on stage, they do at least one set, no going from one guy in VIP to another who is "waiting for you" if he waited however long for you to get done with guy nunber one he can (and most likely will) wait until you get off stage.

No extras! And if a girl is using my club to sell or even give away extras after work/OTC then she is gone as well.

Anyone I fire is gone for life, no of this fireing a girl and a week later she is back working like nothing happened.

I like some of the suggestions. It seems to me, correct me if I'm wrong, that most of us like the more downscale neighborhood clubs than the big glitz places. That'd be my choice. A nice private LD area, but I'm not sure what kind of liability too much privacy might entail, so that's a consideration. I'd have a minimal evening cover or no cover depending on the nature of the club (BYOB, joice bar). My favorite would be Canadian rules, minimal cover, full bar, nude stage and lapdances with decent privacy and high mileage being legal, do what you can to keep the volume high and try to keep the best dancers happy. One really weird idea I had was a stripper training program. If a new girl comes in, assign a seasoned dancer to clue her in and make sure she adjusts. I'm sure there are all kind of problems with this, but it seems to me that if more girls knew what to expect and had some help adjusting up front fewer would feel the need to become ROBs to make their money. I also tend to cringe looking at the quality of the costumes and dancing of the new girls, so I'd love to see them learn a few moves right off the bat.

chandler,

Good idea, and here is why. I was in a local club and there were only two dancers. It was early afternoon. The bartender, a former dancer, but still nice, got up to dance. She was in her street clothes. The few customers there loved it. I'd bet she made more in that one set then the other two did, put together, in 3 or 4 set!

I know I just got done saying I'm against gimmicks, but there is one I always wish someone would try: Strippers in street clothes. And not particularly sexy clothes, either. The more ordinary the better. I just like the idea of a roomful of women in everyday clothes who happen to behave like nymphos. It's probably more of a special night idea than a full-time workable plan idea.

Being a non smoker I would either have the club located in a place like NY state where no smoking inside is allowed (and it does not seem to hurt business) or install a goood smoke filtering system, would also keep the music level at moderate, hire security as a presence but not too intrusive.
Also book a wide variety of girls so there would be something for everyones taste!

AND ANOTHER THING...it would be nice if sc's could post schedules on their websites. This may be straining the bounds of credibility/feasibility, because we are dealing, generally, with young people here. I am not singling out dancers or young women, but people in the 18-25 age range (maybe up to 30). There seems to be a little bit of a RESPONSIBILITY GAP!!!! It is just plain hard to get people of that age to be accountible for anything, much less SHOWING UP FOR WORK!!!! (I am the management equivalent of you-know-who). However, when I find a dancer that I like , I do like to frequent the club when she/they are around, and it would be nice to be able to plan accordingly. Alas, I suspect that part of being a sc manager is dealing with a random and unpredictable number of no-shows from shift to shift. Posting your fond expectations of who may show up on a shift would only produce disappointed and/or pissed-off customers.

But still, it would be nice.

I'd run a low-overhead low-hustle neighborhood titty-bar type of place, charge a small admission fee but keep other prices low, have high hiring standards and attract better girls by letting them keep all of their LD money and establishing an atmosphere where they enjoyed their jobs as much as possible. I'd allow a moderate amount of contact but not too much, and provide enough LD privacy to keep most customers happy but not so much that extras would get me in trouble with local LE. I'd make my money off of drinks and admission fees and let the girls make money off of private dances and tips on stage. No DJ's, bathroom attendants, valet parking, obnoxious bouncers or other crap to annoy regular guys.

Although this isn't a problem at my favorite club, a lot of guys complain about a lack of privacy during the highest level of dances...be they lap dances, couch, VIP, etc. So, I would suggest that all club owners who do not already have them install, subject to local prevailing law, private booths, large seats with wrap-around backs, etc., to give some privacy, or at least the illusion of same.

Most problems I have with management stem from their trying to do too much, not too little. I say forget about all the gimmicks. The strippers are your product, so let them do their work without micromanagement from you. Maintain order, but don't interfere any more than necessary, and you'll attract the best talent.

I guess my one big suggestion would be regarding the DJ. (Again, trying to do too much.) I would instruct him to talk in a normal voice, not like a cheesy cliche, to keep his words to a minimum, to always bear in mind that the strippers are the show, not him, and to keep the volume at a level that allowed the customers and dancers to converse. If he failed to follow my instructions, I would fire him. And, if I could not find anyone to perform the job right, I would remove the DJ booth and put in a jukebox.