Dumb Joke of the night

mikeya been watching

www.youtube.com

Heard it in Pulp Fiction . . .

^^^me too

Have you heard this one? Hope I'm not repeating

A ham sandwich walked into a bar..

The bartender said, "sorry, we don't serve food here"

I don't like making plans for the day. Then the word "premeditated" keeps getting thrown around in court.

I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes it 5 years now.

I've stopped calling the toilet "John". I'll call it Jim from now on. I feel much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

A man took his hopelessly soiled shirt to the Wong brother's dry cleaners. They looked at the stain and told the man, "So sorry, but even two Wongs can't make it white.

Back in the day, the Milwaukee Braves (yes, the Braves were from there many moons ago) had a seldom-used relief pitcher named Mel Fame. He used to sit in the bullpen and drink beer after beer to "stay cool". One day the Braves were in a desperate struggle with the Tigers, one that went 20 innings! The manager was finally out of all pitchers save Mel. He swallowed hard and put him in the game for better or worse. It was worse. Sixteen pitches later, Mel gave a free base to the fourth batter and put the leadoff man in for the score.

When interviewed after the game, one of the Tigers said, "Well, it was the beer that made Mel Famey walk us."

Once a man was sitting on a dock when a guy walked by saying,"2,3,4,...". Our hero was curious and asked the other man what he was doing. "I'm counting the spaces between the planks," he said. The man asked if he could go along to help the other guy count (he was really bored!). So, they set off together. It was a very long dock, and they both got so engrossed that neither of them saw the end of the dock. They both walked of the end and drowned in the ocean. The moral of the story?

When you're out of slits, you're out of pier.

A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey! We don't serve food."

The mushroom replied, "But I'm a fungi."

A horse walks into a bar. Before he can even order a drink, the bartender asks, "Why the l long face?"

Lol!

Two blondes walked in to a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it.