When you discover someone you know from the non-stripper world is now stripping

AnonymousJim
Scanning the room from the back
Walked into a place I hadn't been to in over a year. Used to be my regular spot since it's close to where I live. Take a seat at the back bar. Get a drink. Scope things out. Go to the stage to tip a girl. Head over to the other bar. Look down the bar. See one of the dancers and know, right away ...

... it's someone I know from the 'real' world. Has run in my extended circle of friends off-and-on for about 10 years. Kinda hippy-ish in general, though she pulled off Marilyn Monroe with her real hair quite well for Halloween one year. When I first met her, she seemed into me and I was kinda into her. But when she later explained she was teaching elementary-age kids at a school centered around eastern mysticism and meditation, I decided she was too looney tunes to even risk getting involved with.

Through the years, found she wasn't quite as looney tunes as I originally thought but still fairly looney tunes. Two kids, different dads, neither still around. Knows most of my friends and my SO (in fact, really likes my SO). Last time I saw her, still good looking but a little overdone and, FWIW, a handshake with memorably dry hands (drugs?).

I pride myself on being a quick thinker and this made sense. She has to feed those mouths somehow and my guess is that her public lines of work don't get it done.

First thought: Leave. Now. Left the drink on the bar and walked out quickly. Sure, I've accidentally run into other customers I know before, in which case I honestly think the "If you don't tell anyone I was here, I'll do the same for you" rule applies. But who knows if the rules apply with a dancer. Told the bouncer I "got a call."

Never got physically close to her at all, so hopefully there's plausible deniability, though I checked her online materials and she's certainly not publicizing to the world she's doing what she's doing, so good chance that even if she did see me, the secret's safe, lest she reveal her own.

Second thought, on my way out: I guess I never really thought through things for dancers until this moment.

Do I have a problem with what she's doing? No. Do I think she'll be good at it? Honestly, yeah -- great body and I can see her being sensual. But I wish she didn't have to and wouldn't. I feel bad for her.

See, if it was all guys like me who were customers -- considerate, respectful, good tipper, yeah, horny and a rules-pusher, but never one to push beyond where the dancer says she's comfortable and always one to try and make the dancer feel good in addition to myself -- I'd have no problem with this whatsoever. But I know the creepy guys are out there, saying creepy things to her, revealing disgusting fetishes, trying to do creepy things to her, cheaping out on her, etc. In the end, it's those folks that make me wish she wasn't doing it because I know it can't be fun with those guys. That's where I feel bad for her.

I dunno. I certainly wouldn't feel comfortable getting dances with her. When you get dances with a random hot chick, it's a throwaway. Passing ships in the night. We make each other happy and we don't ever have to see each other again. If I would have gotten dances with this woman, I would have really felt like I was cheating or using her, especially since I probably could have had her long before she had the kids and took this up. Also, will be a LONG time before I step foot in that club again.

It's one of those things. We go to these places to live a fantasy and get away from the misery in our lives and circles, not to be reminded of it. Oh well.

23 comments

Latest

Mal2
11 years ago
An excellent reason to club away from home.
SuperDude
11 years ago
Are you sure she didn't see you?
shadowcat
11 years ago
During her last 2 years of stripping my ATF lived and worked 65 miles away from the club that she only worked at part time. I was with her early one evening when a group of guys came in for a bachelor party. Turns out the guest of honor works with her at her real other job. He said to her "I didn't see you here and you didn't see me and I'm not going to ask you for a lap dance". So I asked her if she trusted him to keep his mouth shut and she said "Yes. I know his fiancée".

How far away is safe?
Clubber
11 years ago
sc,

> 65 miles. :)
Dolomite35
11 years ago
There is no safe distance. I have heard stories of married guys being half way across the country, walk into some club alone in Las Vegas. Some group of guys is having a bachelor party, which is the only way most married guys get away with being in a strip club, and it's their wife's cousin or something like that.
samsung1
11 years ago
too bad the weather is too bad out for a road trip up to Detroit!
rockstar666
11 years ago
People can pop up anywhere. After my ATF became my ATF it turned out she lived in my neighborhood and we shopped at the same stores. She since moved closer to the club, unfortunately!
AnonymousJim
11 years ago
After a night's sleep, I think I'm past it. I think it put a jolt into me, but in the end, a big part of this realm is kind of "what goes on behind the scenes stays there."

Not real worried about myself. A little worried about her and what's going on with her, but she's an adult, makes her own choices with her life and can handle herself. I will continue to say this: In any situation, "run" is never a bad instinct.

It did make me look at this whole thing very differently, though, and I'm not sure how that will impact any activity going forward.
sofaking87
11 years ago
I'd get a dance from her, but I guess there's a good chance it could blow up on you, ie she expects you to get dances from just her, expects loans, and favours, perhaps it was best that you jammed out.
rockstar666
11 years ago
I agree with sofaking. She's a stripper so she'll be pulling strippershit on you big time. I would stay away.
looneylarry
11 years ago
That's probably another good reason to to do your clubbing as an unrestricted free agent. Get in under the radar, scope things out, keep a low profile, and keep your eyes open for stuff like this. Try to be in a position to see them before they see you.

I ran into a guy one time who was a peer of my boss. I had met the guy a few times before at business meetings. We talked comfortably at the club, and I just assumed that we would both keep it under wraps. He probably had more to lose from it than I did. I thought we would leave it behind, like Vegas. Now I'm starting to wonder if he did a preemptive strike on me as a way to do plausible deniability for himself. He could have come to my boss and said that he had heard from people that I had been spotted at the SC. That way he looks clean and he has the leverage on me. Things soured and I was let go, but it would be nearly impossible to know if the SC spotting had anything to do with it.
Tiredtraveler
11 years ago
I agree with Mal2
knightwish
11 years ago
Wow are you acting silly. Treat her just like you would another guy. Find her during a time when she's not with a customer and let her know you intend to respect her privacy. You can also tell her you feel weird getting dances because of your prior relationship and not to take it personally. Providers who out clients have huge problems in life, so she'll respect your privacy.

sofaking87
11 years ago
@knightwish, I like how you would play it, she can't treat you like an ATM, and no one has to feel weird.

I think personally, I'd fuck it up somehow by asking her for FS, or something like that.
knightwish
11 years ago
@sofaking87 --

Exactly. You are both on par and... You ask a girl you know in the outside world for FS and that starts becoming an affair with all the possibilities for entanglement that implies. That ain't fucking it up, but it's the exact opposite play.
Papi_Chulo
11 years ago
If one has an SO that does not agree with you SCing; then I could certainly understand not wanting to be recognized in a SC.

I don’t have the SO issue.

Although I tend to be more on the shy/conservative side; after all the SCing I’ve done; I tend to look at things differently than when I first started SCing.

If I recognize a civi at the club that is now dancing; it would actually be a bit of a turn-on to get dances from her to see what it was like – after all; we are both adults and we are both in the SC for our own particular reasons – she’s there to do her thing – I’m there to do my thing – why not do for each other.
mjx01
11 years ago
Several years ago, I ran into a girl I knew from the real world at my local club. We were both surprised to see each other there. At the time we were both cool with it. She even invited me to her birthday party not long after having crossed paths with her in the club.

I went to her party, but didn't stay long. My spidy senses were tingling that I didn't was to hang with some of the other guests or the party "fixings." (Although, her "goal" for the party was to get all the girls there naked by the end of the night.)

I don't have an SO issue to worry about, but my current work situation is one reason (in addition to the xATF BS) I do somewhat prefer to club away from home.
Clackport
11 years ago
I ran into a stripper once that used to work at the same place I did. It was really awkward to say the least. She recognized me right away. We talked for awhile, eventually she asked me for a dance, I told her I just don't feel comfortable getting a dance from her, I think she understood. I have avoided that club since I saw her.
Essdub
11 years ago
The first time I went to a local strip club I recognized a girl from my African Studies class, and at the time recognizing someone was the worst case scenario. She came over and sat with me but as hot as she was, I couldn't get dances from her, I just tipped her a few bucks and left. She was really a cool girl though, the next day I saw her in class she just smiled and waved. Another time I was over at a friend's house and he introduced me to a roommate of his that I had already met at a strip club, we both just acted like we didn't know each other. It actually wasn't awkward at all seeing her there in subsequent visits. When she talked to me it was just a normal conversation, and if she needed a ride home I was as a safe choice.

Assuming your SO is fine with your clubbing habits, you might as well go back if it's a club you like. You know the reality of the situation is that girls find themselves working in clubs because they need money. That doesn't mean she's going to try and get it from you, I think she's more likely to just appreciate having someone there that she recognizes as being a normal, decent guy.
sharkhunter
11 years ago
One night I saw two or three ladies who work in the same office as me and one or two guys or SO's. I was hoping they didn't see me and ask questions. I'm thinking maybe they didn't see me. No one ever said anything. If someone were to say something, it would be one of my male coworkers who I spotted more than once. He wasn't there that night or I probably would have heard all about it.
JacksonEsskay
11 years ago
I used to teach as an adjunct at a community college and one night found I was getting a lap dance from a former student . . . awkward . . . but hot too.
DandyDan
11 years ago
Never knew anyone who went on to be a stripper after not being a stripper. I do know this one barista at a coffee shop I sometimes goes to also strips, but I met her as a stripper first, so to see her being a barista was the shock. But she always plays it cool.
AnonymousJim
11 years ago
The assumption my SO knows I have been to a club at anytime since we've been together is false. Nor would she be pleased, as her jealous streak even with other women in our circle of friends is ... strong.

That is all.
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