When you discover someone you know from the non-stripper world is now stripping
AnonymousJim
Scanning the room from the back
Walked into a place I hadn't been to in over a year. Used to be my regular spot since it's close to where I live. Take a seat at the back bar. Get a drink. Scope things out. Go to the stage to tip a girl. Head over to the other bar. Look down the bar. See one of the dancers and know, right away ...
... it's someone I know from the 'real' world. Has run in my extended circle of friends off-and-on for about 10 years. Kinda hippy-ish in general, though she pulled off Marilyn Monroe with her real hair quite well for Halloween one year. When I first met her, she seemed into me and I was kinda into her. But when she later explained she was teaching elementary-age kids at a school centered around eastern mysticism and meditation, I decided she was too looney tunes to even risk getting involved with.
Through the years, found she wasn't quite as looney tunes as I originally thought but still fairly looney tunes. Two kids, different dads, neither still around. Knows most of my friends and my SO (in fact, really likes my SO). Last time I saw her, still good looking but a little overdone and, FWIW, a handshake with memorably dry hands (drugs?).
I pride myself on being a quick thinker and this made sense. She has to feed those mouths somehow and my guess is that her public lines of work don't get it done.
First thought: Leave. Now. Left the drink on the bar and walked out quickly. Sure, I've accidentally run into other customers I know before, in which case I honestly think the "If you don't tell anyone I was here, I'll do the same for you" rule applies. But who knows if the rules apply with a dancer. Told the bouncer I "got a call."
Never got physically close to her at all, so hopefully there's plausible deniability, though I checked her online materials and she's certainly not publicizing to the world she's doing what she's doing, so good chance that even if she did see me, the secret's safe, lest she reveal her own.
Second thought, on my way out: I guess I never really thought through things for dancers until this moment.
Do I have a problem with what she's doing? No. Do I think she'll be good at it? Honestly, yeah -- great body and I can see her being sensual. But I wish she didn't have to and wouldn't. I feel bad for her.
See, if it was all guys like me who were customers -- considerate, respectful, good tipper, yeah, horny and a rules-pusher, but never one to push beyond where the dancer says she's comfortable and always one to try and make the dancer feel good in addition to myself -- I'd have no problem with this whatsoever. But I know the creepy guys are out there, saying creepy things to her, revealing disgusting fetishes, trying to do creepy things to her, cheaping out on her, etc. In the end, it's those folks that make me wish she wasn't doing it because I know it can't be fun with those guys. That's where I feel bad for her.
I dunno. I certainly wouldn't feel comfortable getting dances with her. When you get dances with a random hot chick, it's a throwaway. Passing ships in the night. We make each other happy and we don't ever have to see each other again. If I would have gotten dances with this woman, I would have really felt like I was cheating or using her, especially since I probably could have had her long before she had the kids and took this up. Also, will be a LONG time before I step foot in that club again.
It's one of those things. We go to these places to live a fantasy and get away from the misery in our lives and circles, not to be reminded of it. Oh well.
... it's someone I know from the 'real' world. Has run in my extended circle of friends off-and-on for about 10 years. Kinda hippy-ish in general, though she pulled off Marilyn Monroe with her real hair quite well for Halloween one year. When I first met her, she seemed into me and I was kinda into her. But when she later explained she was teaching elementary-age kids at a school centered around eastern mysticism and meditation, I decided she was too looney tunes to even risk getting involved with.
Through the years, found she wasn't quite as looney tunes as I originally thought but still fairly looney tunes. Two kids, different dads, neither still around. Knows most of my friends and my SO (in fact, really likes my SO). Last time I saw her, still good looking but a little overdone and, FWIW, a handshake with memorably dry hands (drugs?).
I pride myself on being a quick thinker and this made sense. She has to feed those mouths somehow and my guess is that her public lines of work don't get it done.
First thought: Leave. Now. Left the drink on the bar and walked out quickly. Sure, I've accidentally run into other customers I know before, in which case I honestly think the "If you don't tell anyone I was here, I'll do the same for you" rule applies. But who knows if the rules apply with a dancer. Told the bouncer I "got a call."
Never got physically close to her at all, so hopefully there's plausible deniability, though I checked her online materials and she's certainly not publicizing to the world she's doing what she's doing, so good chance that even if she did see me, the secret's safe, lest she reveal her own.
Second thought, on my way out: I guess I never really thought through things for dancers until this moment.
Do I have a problem with what she's doing? No. Do I think she'll be good at it? Honestly, yeah -- great body and I can see her being sensual. But I wish she didn't have to and wouldn't. I feel bad for her.
See, if it was all guys like me who were customers -- considerate, respectful, good tipper, yeah, horny and a rules-pusher, but never one to push beyond where the dancer says she's comfortable and always one to try and make the dancer feel good in addition to myself -- I'd have no problem with this whatsoever. But I know the creepy guys are out there, saying creepy things to her, revealing disgusting fetishes, trying to do creepy things to her, cheaping out on her, etc. In the end, it's those folks that make me wish she wasn't doing it because I know it can't be fun with those guys. That's where I feel bad for her.
I dunno. I certainly wouldn't feel comfortable getting dances with her. When you get dances with a random hot chick, it's a throwaway. Passing ships in the night. We make each other happy and we don't ever have to see each other again. If I would have gotten dances with this woman, I would have really felt like I was cheating or using her, especially since I probably could have had her long before she had the kids and took this up. Also, will be a LONG time before I step foot in that club again.
It's one of those things. We go to these places to live a fantasy and get away from the misery in our lives and circles, not to be reminded of it. Oh well.
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23 comments
How far away is safe?
> 65 miles. :)
Not real worried about myself. A little worried about her and what's going on with her, but she's an adult, makes her own choices with her life and can handle herself. I will continue to say this: In any situation, "run" is never a bad instinct.
It did make me look at this whole thing very differently, though, and I'm not sure how that will impact any activity going forward.
I ran into a guy one time who was a peer of my boss. I had met the guy a few times before at business meetings. We talked comfortably at the club, and I just assumed that we would both keep it under wraps. He probably had more to lose from it than I did. I thought we would leave it behind, like Vegas. Now I'm starting to wonder if he did a preemptive strike on me as a way to do plausible deniability for himself. He could have come to my boss and said that he had heard from people that I had been spotted at the SC. That way he looks clean and he has the leverage on me. Things soured and I was let go, but it would be nearly impossible to know if the SC spotting had anything to do with it.
I think personally, I'd fuck it up somehow by asking her for FS, or something like that.
Exactly. You are both on par and... You ask a girl you know in the outside world for FS and that starts becoming an affair with all the possibilities for entanglement that implies. That ain't fucking it up, but it's the exact opposite play.
I don’t have the SO issue.
Although I tend to be more on the shy/conservative side; after all the SCing I’ve done; I tend to look at things differently than when I first started SCing.
If I recognize a civi at the club that is now dancing; it would actually be a bit of a turn-on to get dances from her to see what it was like – after all; we are both adults and we are both in the SC for our own particular reasons – she’s there to do her thing – I’m there to do my thing – why not do for each other.
I went to her party, but didn't stay long. My spidy senses were tingling that I didn't was to hang with some of the other guests or the party "fixings." (Although, her "goal" for the party was to get all the girls there naked by the end of the night.)
I don't have an SO issue to worry about, but my current work situation is one reason (in addition to the xATF BS) I do somewhat prefer to club away from home.
Assuming your SO is fine with your clubbing habits, you might as well go back if it's a club you like. You know the reality of the situation is that girls find themselves working in clubs because they need money. That doesn't mean she's going to try and get it from you, I think she's more likely to just appreciate having someone there that she recognizes as being a normal, decent guy.
That is all.