tuscl

Dating dancers

Friday, March 7, 2014 10:15 AM
When I was younger my first girlfriend as it turned out was a dancer. I was only 18 and she was 21. I had no idea as she kept it pretty secret and I only saw her occasionally. My uncle (who is my age) was seeing her sister occasionally. After we had broken up he found out that she was dancing. This freaked me out and explained the end of our relationship (she move to california). 6 months later she returned and tried to pick up where we had left off. By that time, I had gotten rid of my pager so she called my home. My mother answered and told her to take a hike. Anyways, the reason why I'm writing this is because in all my life I had never dated someone so stable as she was (we were together for 14 months, my longest relationship). Later I would meet girls who danced and they had totally different personalities. For example, I met a girl at the gym and she turned out to be a dancer. She was all over the place and a flake. Never went out more than twice and after a month the whole thing was over. She partied a lot and may have been indulging in drugs. Yet somehow in the back of my mind, I assume there are girls out there who dance and could be real potential girlfriends. A nurse I met where I used to work was a dancer and she was very stable and intelligent. She did have a drug addiction when she was younger but now was a responsible mother. What do you guys think about that? Did i meet an anomaly?

27 comments

  • rockstar666
    •
    10 years ago
    OMG...you poor man. If your longest and most stable relationship was with a dancer, then you have issues. Take it from me, dancers are flakes. They lie, they are unreliable, they usually have substance abuse issues, many are more into women than men for relationships if not sex, and they will all eventually break your heart. Try and find a girl with a regular job, who shares your interests in whatever you like to do, will be a great mom for your kids and doesn't have sex with other men for money.
  • steve229
    •
    10 years ago
    "I had gotten rid of my pager so she called my home" A pager? How long ago was this?
  • Clackport
    •
    10 years ago
    In my experience 99% of dancers are not good girlfriend material. To answer your question yes you met a anomaly.
  • Dolomite35
    •
    10 years ago
    I knew dancers when I was younger. I played in bands, worked sound booths, dj'd (never at a strip club, just dj for hire), and even provided security for dancers once or twice. So I was in their world of clubs, bars, and house parties. I knew at least a dozen dancers personally and was involved seriously with one or two. I think their personalities varied just about the same as civilians, the one thing they held in common was they had some self esteem problems. Could be they thought they were ugly, slutty, or pretty much anything else. Normally they were attracted to guys who treated them pretty crappy too. I don't think I treated them bad, but I didn't treat them very well either. But a lot of them were flaky, but that could be said about civilian girls of that age too. Sometimes the age difference is the factor. I mean, how did you act when you were 21? I can't imagine the same as now.
  • Clackport
    •
    10 years ago
    Dolomite is right about a lot of dancers being attracted to guys that treated them bad. I never understood why.
  • Club_Goer_Seattle
    •
    10 years ago
    @ Steve: In his thread, the OP says he was age 18 when he had his first relationship with a dancer. If you read his profile, he says he's now 34. So he would have been 18 in 1998. Pagers were still in use then. I recall a job I had in the late '90's, where our field personnel had both pagers and cell phones. The company soon got rid of the pagers, because the people with them said that no one was paging them anymore. Only call them on their cell phones. To speculate regarding your question, it was probably the late '90s into the early '00s where he referred to the use of a pager.
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    10 years ago
    As a dancer whom posts on here from time to time once said - “nice girls don’t work in strip clubs”
  • steve229
    •
    10 years ago
    @club_Goer - ok, that sounds right. I remember when I had a company issued pager. I'd get a page while on the road and have to pull over to find a pay-phone (!!). Seems like the dark ages. We were over joyed when we finally got cell phones - even if they were the size & weight of a small brick, lol
  • gatorfan
    •
    10 years ago
    I once hiked
  • sharkhunter
    •
    10 years ago
    I've met dancers who didn't drink or smoke. I remember one such dancer was around 21 at the time. I think things went downhill later on. Probably when her boyfriend got her pregnant and left her. I think she thought they might get married. She seemed pretty stable before all that. I found out a lot because she tried to latch onto me.
  • sharkhunter
    •
    10 years ago
    I remember another dancer who seemed pretty stable. Then one night she told me she was selling porn videos online starring her.
  • alabegonz
    •
    10 years ago
    I've dated dancers in the past. Totally not doing it again. Maybe I would do it again if a dancer can convince me.
  • jabthehut
    •
    10 years ago
    I seem to recall an extremely similar story on TUSCL a few months back.
  • GCMan
    •
    10 years ago
    Dated several dancers. As in gone out without money exchanged. Mostly bc after dating my first one soon met many of her "work" friends OTC. Probably 90 were crazy in their thinking bc of their up bringing. The 10 percent that was not crazy were so bc they had financial goals for their stripper money. Out of the dozen or so that I befriended I only know 2 in the last 6 yrs that ever completely left dancing to this date. My advice, sounds like you're able to date attractive women. Stay away from the dancers and your life will be much more happy and stress free.
  • motorhead
    •
    10 years ago
    I date dancers Yes I do For fifty bucks I get a screw
  • tumblingdice
    •
    10 years ago
    This month marks two years that I've been seeing my gf/dancer.Yep there have been ups and downs just like any relationship. She does not drink or drug and is as solid as a rock in most aspects. Everything she has she got on her own(house,car, savings). It's funny,it took me about a year to see the little girl behind what she exudes on stage.When it comes down to it,I wouldn't trade her for anything that comes out of the stripper mills of today.I guess you could say I got lucky.
  • alabegonz
    •
    10 years ago
    What about the wild parties she goes to? If she is not into these WILD things that is so abundant around her you have a keeper.
  • SuperDude
    •
    10 years ago
    A stable, honest and responsible dancer is exceedingly rare. The norm is irrational and flakey.
  • SlickSpic
    •
    10 years ago
    I like dancers cause they're not normal. I like dancers cause they're not what society says a woman should be. The more that conventional society warns me to stay away from dancers, the more that I'm drawn into dancers.
  • stenton1
    •
    10 years ago
    I have dated several dancers (not for pay) either while they were stripping or after they stopped. Most of them on the surface seemed to be nice women, but after a few dates, things always expose themselves. Most of them turned out to be alcoholics, weed heads, excessive late night parties, low self esteem or anger issues. This was all due their upbringing or mental issues from stripping. Admittedly, I tried to be Captsin Save A Hoe which never works. I've had to ask myself why I date strippers in the first place. Between the lies, mind fucks, and a host of other issues, nothing worked beyond 6 months at best. The sad part about it for them is that they can't keep a stable relationship with any man. Ultimately after Id stop dating one, 90 percent will end up calling me back to try to get back together within 3 months or less. I could write a book about my past experiences. It's been a tiring game, but if you do date strippers, just know that the clock starts ticking towards the end of your relationship the second you start going out. If you can find a diamond in the rough, you have defied the odds!
  • georgmicrodong
    •
    10 years ago
    What SlickSpic said. Plus, they don't mind getting naked on the first "date".
  • GoVikings
    •
    10 years ago
    rockstar666 says " many are more into women than men for relationships if not sex" That's interesting. I wonder why that is. Anyone out there care to share some additional thoughts?
  • Anabellaohio
    •
    10 years ago
    This is an interesting thread. I don't like women but I know a lot of dancers who do. Dancing turns a lot of women off to men. It has made me wonder if there are any men in the world who aren't actively seeking to cheat on their wives, but that is another story. I drink but I don't stay out late or do drugs. It is very hard to date a dancer though, just because you know that even if she works at a non extras club, she is still grinding on, and chatting up tens of guys a day. Makes you paranoid I think. I have yet to find a man who can handle it psychologically. They are ok with you dancing until they really fall in love, then they flip out that your customer of three years has your phone number, or some shit like that. Best to commit to being single until you are ready to quit dancing, in my opinion.
  • Clackport
    •
    10 years ago
    very well said anabellaohio
  • tumblingdice
    •
    10 years ago
    Good point Anabella,I am of the rare breed that can handle the psychological aspect of dating a dancer,our relationship is a symbiotic one.There are only two things that bother me about dating a dancer,the losers that text her every five minutes(wanna drive a dancer crazy?Hide her phone)and that I have to lie to my family and friends about what she does for a living.
  • steve229
    •
    10 years ago
    "she was more stable than me" That's really not saying much
  • SlickSpic
    •
    10 years ago
    I find that Carbon-14 is the most reliable form of dating dancers.
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